Chapter Text
Alison had found herself standing in a rather large, overcrowded room with no memories of how she arrived. For a full minute and a half, she stared at the wooden floor counting to one hundred, as this situation definitely required more than the usual ten.
Ninety eight, where the hell am I, ninety nine, where the hell am I, one hundred!
She took a deep breath and glanced upwards, which she immediately regretted as it simply caused more confusion.
Alison was standing in the entrance to Button House.
“Okaay, so the reasonable explanation is that I’ve finally gone mad,” she muttered under her breath, before tapping the shoulder of the person in front of her - who was dressed in a pair of swimming trunks, which to most would seem strange but after five years of your life with a trouserless politician, you get used to it - exclaiming, “Hi, I’m Alison! I was just wondering, er, well, you wouldn’t happen to know where we are?”
“Beats me, the last thing I remember was swimming down a waterfall! I have no idea why I’m in my old science classroom” he responded, shrugging.
Okay, something’s not right, she thought.
“NEXT!”, came a voice from in front. Waterfall guy turned around and smiled. “That’s me!”
He stepped towards a desk that contained six people, all speaking to a strange variety of people that she’d never met.
“NEXT!” yelled a man with a large amount of curly hair. Alison quickly stepped forwards, eager to find out what was going on.
“Name?”
“Alison Cooper, could I-”
“Date of birth?”
“Er, 29th August 1989, but I was wonder-”
“Cause of death?”
“If you could just - wait, cause of what now?”
The man looked rather sheepish. “Oh, uhh, it appears I forgot to explain, let me start over. Hello, welcome to the afterlife, I will be signing you in today and reconnecting you with any possible friends and/or relatives that might be able to help you settle in, lovely to meet you- miss? Is everything alright?” he asked, seeing her expression.
Alison had no words.
The curly haired man continued. “For some people, the memories of their death can take longer to appear, but judging by your lovely pajamas, where did you get them from? Ah, right, yes, not important. I believe you died of natural causes, presumably old age, however if you remember any important details in the next few days, don’t hesitate to pop back in so we can update your file.
Now, are there any people that you know have passed on that we could contact for you?”
Alison felt as if her head was about to explode, but she did her best regardless to think of who to ask for. Despite having no memory of her death, she had a feeling that no one particularly close to her had passed away yet, such as Mike, or her daughter Mia. She hesitated, before asking “Err, would there be any chance of contacting some ghosts I knew in life?”
“Yes, that would be fine, who do you want me to contact first? Best to pick one as to not overwhelm yourself yet!”
Alison thought for a moment more. As much as she’d love to see Kitty, she figured that was probably not the best person to show her around.
“What about Pat Butcher?” she asked. Pat would definitely be the least overwhelming at this moment of time.
The man smiled widely. “You know Pat Butcher? Oh, what a guy! One of my favourite check ins! We meet up at the pub every now and again. Actually, he lives a bit out from here but his friend, the Cap, he works in the send off room. Do you know him? I think they ghosted together for a while!”
Alison grinned. “Yeah, oh I haven’t seen him in forever, that’d be great!”
“Okay love, go through that door,” he pointed to the right of them to a door that said ‘Send Off’ in bold letters, “and you’ll find the send off room, the Cap will give you instructions, and tell him Darren says he can have the rest of the day off to show you around! Have a good afterlife!”
Alison thanked Darren, and walked around the crowd towards the right door. As she walked, she heard the blonde sign in woman say to the Waterfall man, “Stupid Deaths is through the door on the left!”
This was turning out to be a pretty strange day.
She pulled open the door and was greeted with the happy sight of a tall man with grey hair, wearing world war two green slacks and a grey cardigan. Alison couldn’t hold back her smile as she watched him run through the neat single file line making sure no one was pushing in, holding the ever so familiar swagger stick.
She walked towards him, purposefully not standing in line, as to be sure to catch his attention.
“Ah, now, could you just stand in li- good Lord! Alison?” he exclaimed, a look of shock that probably mirrored her own from earlier plastered on his face.
“Hey Cap! Long time no see, eh?” she laughed.
The Captain snapped back to reality and stood up straight. “Ah, yes, well it is very good to see you, I do believe the others will be excited, ah yes Katherine will be thrilled.”
Alison could barely contain her excitement at seeing her old friends again.
“Oh, er, Darren said you can have the rest of today to show me around.” she remembered.
The Captain still looked rather unsure about the entire situation but replied nevertheless, “Of course I will show you around, Alison, it would be an honour, now would you like to come stay at my house until you get settled? We, uh, that is to say me and my, ah, me and William have a spare room if you need somewhere to stay.”
Alison smiled, knowing exactly who this ‘William’ was.
“That would be lovely. Can I see the others? Also, can we get out of this room? There are a lot of people.”
The Captain nodded. “Follow me!” he said, before marching right past the queue and walking out of the door.
She followed him, wondering exactly what her afterlife was to bring.