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Remus just wanted a coffee. That’s all. But nothing in Remus’ life is ever so fucking simple. It’s always monumental. So that’s how he found himself standing in line for the new cafè on a break from his remote work. Now of course that sounds fine because who wouldn’t want a coffee and a sweet treat from a new charming little small business? But nothing could never just be fine for him since he is Remus Lupin. Fucking doomed.
“The scones are delicious! Oh my gods. Yes, you should try the cranberry orange one,” the barista behind the counter emphatically said to the customer at the counter.
Frowning, Remus looked around the line to the counter. He definitely knew the voice but he could not place the man and he would definitely know this bloke. The barista was tall and fucking gorgeous with a face practically carved from marble. Not to mention his raven hair and striking grey eyes. Yes, Remus would remember him.
“Have a great day, Ginger!” The barista beamed as the customer stepped aside. “I can help who’s next!”
Remus listened to the barista recommend something called a strawberry moon latte as the line shuffled forward. If anything the man knew the menu well, which was good to hear, but that wasn’t why he was listening to every word. It drove him mad that he couldn’t place the voice. Maybe he sounded like an actor, would it be weird if he recorded just the guy’s voice to ask Al and Frank later?
Probably, so Remus decided against it and just listened to him instead. On the plus side, thanks to the weird listening incessantly he knew exactly what he wanted to order when he got to the front. He had to look the phenomenally beautiful man in the eye though.
“Hi there! What can I get you?”
Even though he knew Remus still stumbled along with his order because he can’t function as a normal human being. “Hi! I’m — can I get a iced dark chocolate latte… iced.”
The man behind the counter grinned, tapping on the iPad screen. “I like your sweater by the way… can I get you anything else?”
“Oh, er you too. I mean thank you.” Fucking Christ on a bike. Someone put him out of his misery. “A triple chocolate muffin.”
“Perfect. You like chocolate, huh?” The barista turned the screen towards him to tip and pay. “Name?”
He fumbled with his card after hitting the 20% on the screen. “It’s a bad habit… Remus — my name’s Remus.”
“I think there could be worse habits, hmm?” He practically purred and Remus blushed. What the fuck was his problem? Maybe he needed to get laid.
“True.”
A streak of pink came up to the counter, knocking into the barista as Remus signed. “Sorry Sirius! I hit traffic and—”
“No worries Nym, I’ll hop on to making drinks now.” The barista — Sirius — smiled once more at Remus before they both moved away from the counter in opposite directions.
Remus found a spot near the pick up counter out of everyone’s way. It wasn’t his fault it was in direct eyeline of Sirius at the espresso machine. He leaned against the wall and watched the man tamp down the grounds, his forearms flexing. Just as he was about to admonish himself for being a creep he noticed the tattoo on Sirius’ forearm. Shit.
A snarling black dog, its body the length of his forearm, with gold and red flowers around it done in an American traditional style. What clinched it was the script: Freedom. Est. 2008. That seemed personal, one of a kind, and Remus realized that this barista also dabbled in online sex work.
Which he had nothing against! Really, honestly! He’d be a hypocrite because he happily subscribed to the man who normally hid his face behind a Ghost Face mask (shut up, don’t laugh, someone sent it as a joke and Remus was taken by surprise! Okay? Okay). Fuck. His brain supplied an image of Sirius kneeling on a bed, hand around his cock and the muscles and tendons under that tattoo flexing with each stroke.
“Iced Dark Chocolate Latte and a Chocolate muffin for Remus!” Sirius called out, making Remus flush even more. God he felt like such a perv.
He hustled over, nearly tripping on the carpet in front of the counter. Sirius held out his coffee cup and the paper bag that held his pastry. “Thank you!” Somehow when he went to reach for the coffee his managed to whack Sirius’ hand instead and the cup fell to the counter and exploded onto them both.
“Oh fuck, I am so sorry!” Remus held up his hands.
Sirius laughed, looking down at his drenched shirt. “Hazard of the job, I’m afraid. I’ll grab you another and a new muffin.”
“No, no, it’s fine.” Remus waved a hand. “It’s fine. I’m gonna just go.” Go crawl in a hole and cease to exist on this plane.
“You can’t!” Sirius grabbed a rag behind the counter and started to go at the mess. “Please, it’s opening day. I can get you that money back and replace the food. No big deal.”
“I— thank you… but I gotta go.” Remus grimaced and practically ran out of the café.
On the short walk run sprint back to his flat, Remus tried not to replay the embarrassing moment. That managed to be difficult because of his coffee soaked clothing. A constant reminder of his inability to be chill at times. Which is completely crazy because so many people say he’s laid back and relaxed. If only they knew.
Thankfully he made it back to his small studio without embarrassing himself further. He stripped out of his clothes and changed into sweats and a new shirt before grabbing his personal laptop. When not embarrass himself further by confirming that the barista Sirius was his masked OF creator?
Once sitting on the sofa he pulled up a private browsing tab to go into OnlyFans, and navigate to TheBlackDog11. Sighing, his stomach twisting with anxiety and not lust, he clicked on the newest video.
“Good afternoon darling, have you been good for me?”
Remus groaned at the deep voice which was muffled by the mask but it was definitely Sirius. He paused the video when Sirius moved his arm and the tattoo became visible. Yep. The dog with the script. He was going to have to unsubscribe and remember not to ever walk by the café ever again.
***
Shrugging on a new Demeter’s Harvest shirt, Sirius let out a breath of relief. He hated damp clothes, such a sensory thing. Thankfully he owned a coffee shop that sold its own merch. Plus the coffee seemed to get more on the patron than on Sirius.
The poor bloke who accidentally knocked the coffee out of his hand looked like he wanted to evaporate right on the spot. He wished he had stayed for a coffee because he wanted to build a good customer base. So far everyone was happy with their service except for Remus. Although that wasn’t a service issue. He still wanted to make it right. Sirius worked too hard for everything to not be perfect. Not to mention the man was truly adorable and he would have loved to see him around.
“Hey Pads, someone is asking after you.” Harry popped his head into the office. Must be nice to have your first job at your uncle’s place. He was glad he could do it for him. Not that the Potter’s lacked money, but they wanted to make sure Harry worked for something. Of course he also had a sneaking suspicion that James and Lily wanted to occupy the teen so he didn’t end up having a baby at 16 like they had.
“Thanks kid.” Sirius grinned. “Going good so far?” He asked as they stepped into the kitchen.
“Yeah, I’m mostly just pouring the batched stuff.”
“We all start somewhere.” He nudged Harry before opening the door to the front of house.
“Yeah, yeah.” Harry gestured towards the pick up counter. “She’s over there.”
Sirius looked to see Alice Longbottom tapping at her phone much to his surprise. The wife of one of his rugby club teammates. She was a blast at team gatherings when everyone brought their partners. Except Sirius because he was shit with finding a good partner. “All right, Alice?” Sirius stepped around the counter to greet her.
“Congratulations! You’re booming. Frank wanted me to stop in and pick up something for an afternoon pick me up.” She smiled. “He’s got some clients until late so I came by myself to bring him something.”
“Thank you, I hope you got him the pistachio honey baklava rolls. I gave some to the team the other week when I tested the recipe and he texted me saying it was the best thing he ever had.”
She snorted a laugh, digging into her tote bag. A second later she pulled out a small stack of blue envelopes. “That’s exactly what he asked me to pick up. I also wanted to invite you to his surprise party in a couple weeks. And I was hoping you could clue in the rest of the rugby guys. I don’t know how to get in touch with some of them.”
“Oh! Of course! That’s brilliant. Do you need a cake?”
“Sirius, you’ve just opened the café.” She gestured around them. “I’m sure you’re busy.”
“No worries. I’d love to make it.”
Alice frowned for a moment. “Fine but I’m going to pay you far more than you ask.”
“Deal.” Sirius laughed. He really liked Alice and he was thrilled that she thought them friendly enough for the party invite.
“2 iced matcha lattes, 2 baklava rolls, a chocolate muffin for Alice,” Luna called out.
“That’s my cue! I gotta run to make a pit stop before meeting Frankie.”
“Text me about the cake! You’ve got Marly’s number right?”
“Yep! Congrats again, Sirius!” She squeezed his shoulder before heading to grab her order.
Much later, after closing the shop before dinner time and checking everything that needed checking Sirius headed back to his flat. He was the best kind of time — completely satisfied with the day and proud of himself. For years he wanted to open his own place on his own terms and with his own money and he managed it. He got to make his own pastries and have an open environment people were welcome to. He had plans on holding community events and celebrations. For now though he could be proud of his first day.
Hopefully the place would soon make enough money that he could hang up his OF mask, he thought as he logged on to check his profile. Even though the Potters offered him the money, he wanted to do it all on his own to prove he could. Plus he was making so much in OF that he could live comfortably and do any sort of pastry gig he wanted. Who knew Booktok loved a masked man?
Sirius wanted to check his stats and saw he gained a few followers and only lost one. Sometimes he wondered what happened and why people unsubscribed, but normally it had to do with money according to the feedback survey Sirius could see. When they clicked Other, like this list follower did, it drove him mad. What exactly was Other if it wasn’t the content, the service, or the money?
Maybe their partner found it and got mad, he guessed as he navigated to his saved files to see if there was anything in his drafts he wanted to post. Someone had asked for another shower video, so he decided on the one he had filmed the other day.
Once that went up with a note, Sirius logged out and went to pour himself a glass of wine. He deserved it after his long and successful day. Then he’d turn on a movie and curl up on the sofa for the evening. When he was younger he’d celebrate by throwing a ridiculous party, but things changed. One day he’d get to enjoy that with someone else, but for now he relished in his alone time.
***
This is me reminding you to bring your Polaroid for the photo booth with extra film
Remus blew out a breath then hurried back up the steps to his flat. He was already running late to Alice’s and he wanted to help her get things sorted for the party. As long as he made it before Frank showed up, he guessed that was enough. Sometimes he got sucked into work and lost track of time. It was unfortunate that today was one of those days.
Lately he wondered if he’d actually get out of the house if it wasn’t for Alice. He’d always been a little bit of an introvert but since all his friends paired off and got married he’d found himself awfully alone. As much as Remus tried to pretend he didn’t care, he could feel himself slipping into loneliness. At least tonight he could be out with his friends.
With supplies in hand, Remus jetted off to Frank and Alice’s, which was a couple of bus stops away. Soon enough he rang the doorbell to the Longbottom’s.
His best friend opened the door, wearing a red dress. “Moony, I thought you said you were coming earlier. Did you get caught up in some design?” Alice stepped aside so he could come into their house.
“Maybe.” He shouldered the tote that held his friend's gift along with the camera supplies. “What’s the eta?”
“About 15 minutes — oh! Cake is here. Remus, this is Sirius. The bloke who opened the Demeter’s Harvest near you.” Alice gestured behind Remus as he heard footsteps coming up behind him on the steps.
Remus didn’t want to turn around. Alice mentioned Frank knew the person who owned the cafe when she dropped off a muffin for him, Remus didn’t realize it was his OnlyFans barista. He didn’t even know he was coming to the party. Honestly Remus changed the subject of the cafe so fast when his friend showed up with the muffin that day because he was dying from embarrassment. If he listened, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten into this predicament.
“Hi! Nice to meet you!” Remus stepped inside without even glancing back. “I’m going to drop everything and say hi to everyone!”
Yes, it was rude but he didn’t know what to do because he could not face the man. As he rushed inside to find where to deposit the camera and gift, he thought of how he could leave early. Maybe once Frank came he could feign illness. Alice would kill him, but honestly that sounded better than making awkward conversation with the barista he made an ass of himself in front of, who also happens to be a man he wanked quite often to.
After saying hi to Peter, Mary, Dorcas, and Marlene, Remus went to find Gideon hoping he had an edible on him. CBD would even do, dear god. Anything to calm him down.
“Lupin!” Gid and Fab greeted him in that very weird unison twin way. They were in the living room, in a corner standing with a tall, messy hair bloke and a beautiful auburn haired woman Remus didn’t recognize.
“All right?” He looked at the man and woman. “I’m Remus, hi.”
“Hey, I’m James and this is Lily, my wife.” He emphatically shook Remus’ hand. “I play rugby with Frank.”
“Nice, nice. I’m Al’s best mate,” he explained.
“Oh, she mentioned you do graphic design, right? Do you freelance?” Lily’s eyes lit up.
James playfully elbowed her. “Flower, no shop talk.”
Remus snickered. Even though he didn’t want to think about work now he was happy to pick up a new client. “I do, feel free to have Alice send you my contact info.” Turning to Gid he cleared his throat. “Do you happen to have an edible? I need to relax before I go mad.”
Gideon patted his pockets and pulled out a tin of hard candy. “Here, have one.”
He plucked out two and popped both in his mouth before Gid offered them to everyone else in their little circle who turned him down. “Cheers.” Remus patted his shoulder.
“Padfoot!” James all but leapt from his spot next to Lily to go tackle the person coming up next to Remus in a hug.
“Bro! Calm down.” And the person had to be Sirius. Christ.
Remus smiled at Gid, Lily, and Fab before slipping off towards the kitchen. James seemed to be too busy tackling Sirius in a hug for either of those two to notice.
In the kitchen he found Alice pouring herself a glass of some cocktail she made in a batch. He thought about running off but she pinned him with the most frightening look. “What the fuck?”
He grimaced, reaching for a cup. “I’m sorry!”
“Moony, you didn’t even look at him. Do you know Sirius or are you just an arse?”
“No, well, I mean…” he checked over his shoulder then leaned in close to Alice. “Look I went to the café and made an idiot out of myself by knocking a coffee out of his hands by accident because I recognized his voice.” His cheeks were burning as he lowered his voice to a whisper. “Don’t say anything but he has an OnlyFans.”
Alice’s face went from anger to surprise to realization in a blink. “Oh.” Bless Al for not being awful. If he told Peter or Frank this they’d be cackling before he finished the sentence.
“Yeah.”
She checked her watch. “You can’t be weird all night. Be normal or your closest to normal for Frankie, huh?”
“I’ll try!” He held his hands up. “I’ll be on my best behavior and be normal.”
Okay. That didn’t work. Well it did for a bit… Sometime after Frank's arrival and the singing and cake Remus was drunk and phenomenally high — lying face up in the Longbottoms back garden. Look, he managed to avoid Sirius all night and make sure not to be weird for the birthday boys sake. BUT at some point he realized he was drunk and stoned and everything was moving fast but also slow like his brain was taking screenshots. To avoid being too weird he stumbled out the back door as some of the party started to play a board game and the rest were chatting in small groups around the house.
It was probably weird to lie down in the garden though. Remus closed his eyes but immediately opened them because everything got too spinny.
“I should have asked Gideon for the amount,” he mumbled to himself and tried to focus hard on the stars sorting the sky.
“You okay?”
Remus sat up too fast, causing the world to shift on its axis. “No!” He shouted when he saw Sirius. “I mean yes. Yes!”
***
Sirius couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the other man who could hardly keep his eyes open. This adorable mess of a human. He noticed Remus avoiding him all night, from the moment he came to the door. All night, if Sirius got too close he moved to a different part of the house and managed to find a new drink each time.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed about the coffee. I mean I know social anxiety is shit so that probably doesn’t help but you didn’t need to run from me all night.” He approached the other man who was definitely stoned on Prewett’s supply on top of the immense amount of alcohol in his system.
“Oh my God, but I really do.” Remus put his hands over his face.
“Don’t worry, you’re good.”
Remus let out a funny noise then flopped back.
Another laugh escaped his lips. “Can I get you home? I’m sober, had to drive here with the cake.”
“Oh my god.” His hands stayed on his face.
“We can even go through the gate and not alert anyone, eh? I’ll text Alice and let her know.”
Another unintelligible noise. “You can’t.”
“I can. I might be able to carry you but I feel like that’ll make it worse.” Sirius shifted. “Look, let me make up the coffee for you through this ride home and then we can forget everything.”
Remus peeked up at him through his fingers. “I… I would like to be home…”
Sirius nodded and held out a hand.
After a moment of hesitation, Remus took the offered help and soon enough they were heading out the back gate toward Sirius’ car. He kept a hand on Remus’ arm in case he lost balance. If they were friends he'd probably tease him relentlessly for this. Oddly enough it was sort of endearing — so long as he didn’t puke in Sirius' car.
“Here, a sick bag.” Sirius shoved an old shopping bag into Remus’ hands then settled into his seat.
Remus fumbled with the bag. “You’re too nice. Oh my god,” he slurred.
“If you told someone that less than a decade ago they’d laugh at you. Address?”
As Sirius typed in Remus’ address the other man struggled with his seatbelt. There was something stupidly endearing about him. “Wow, that's crazy. You’ve been only nice to me even though I’ve only made an ass out of myself,” he slurred as he rolled the window down slightly.
“I figure you must be a decent person if Alice is your best mate. She’s pretty discerning.”
Remus hiccuped, his head drooping back against the headrest. “She can be a little scary.”
Pulling away from the curb, Sirius glanced over at Remus. “When I met her at the pub following a game, she seemed to be interrogating everyone. Nicely, but she was definitely feeling everyone out. I think we all passed.”
“You did. She doesn’t like Gerry too much.”
Sirius snorted a laugh. Gerry was a bit of a twat, probably his least liked.
“God he’s probably your best mate.”
“No way that’s James. I don’t like Gerry much, he’s fine in short doses but otherwise,” he trailed off with a shrug. “You need to get out of your head, mate.”
With a groan he scrubbed both hands over his face. “Impossible.” Remus dropped his hands and tapped at the display. “Can I put on some music?”
“Go for it.”
Remus hummed to himself as he navigated to the car’s Spotify app connection. “Wow you have so many playlists.” He tapped through before picking one that was a mix of acoustic covers.
“I’m a big fan of music. Every genre, honestly, but I have a fondness for 70s and 80s rock. I have an absurd amount of vinyl that I’ve managed to collect.”
“Cool,” he said softly. “I still think you’re being too nice.”
Sirius shook his head. “I’m just looking out for you, which is what someone with any decency would do. I think you’d probably do the same.”
The noise Remus made sounded like an agreement. They were both quiet as they drove the rest of the short distance to Remus’.
“Do you smoke?” Remus asked as Sirius parked the car.
“I keep an emergency cigarette.” Sirius snickered and reached for the glovebox. “I quit, but every so often…” Sirius ringed for a moment and came up with the pack that had a lighter and singular cigarette.
“I only do it when I drink.” Remus opened the car door after Sirius handed him the pack.
Not wanting to just dump off the very drunk man, Sirius got out of the car and skirted around to the pavement where Remus was now struggling to light the cigarette. His drunk reflexes were apparently up against the safety on the cheap lighter. Laughing, Sirius took the lighter. “Here.”
“Thanks,” Remus murmured around the filter with his half lidded eyes.
Sirius bit his lip, thinking how in his head this moment could be romantic if Remus were sober. Something about lighting a cigarette for someone and sharing it made his insides go a bit squiggly. “There you go,” he said softly as the end glowed.
Remus took a deep pull. Again, if the man with the freckles and dimples and slightly crooked nose weren’t hammered Sirius would make a move because those hazel eyes were too much to bear. “Don’t tell Alice.” He took another drag then offered it to Sirius.
Taking the cigarette Sirius chuckled as Remus faltered slightly as he leaned against the building. “Don’t tell James.”
“Deal.” Remus hiccupped again. “You do a lot of stuff, huh? Rugby and baking cakes and opening cafés and collecting music and other stuff… I’m sure.”
Handing the cigarette back over he nodded, blowing the smoke over his shoulder. “I guess I’ve a lot of interests.”
“‘S nice,” he slurred before taking another drag. “I only work and read and make an arse out of myself.”
“Let it go, Remus. Really.”
He frowned, his head down like a hurt puppy. “I will.”
“Okay.” Sirius smiled at him. “When’d you meet Alice?”
They finished the cigarette together before Sirius helped Remus up the stairs to his flat. Remus tried to insist he was okay, but Sirius worried he’d trip on the three flight walk up and end up sleeping on the steps. Seeing how many times he tripped, Sirius felt sure he did the right thing.
“Nice place,” Sirius said as Remus opened the door after he dropped the keys twice.
“I can make tea.” Remus staggered inside.
Sirius shook his head. “How about you go sit down and I’ll make the tea?” Something about him being near a hot hob at the moment made him queasy.
“Fine.”
He headed in the direction of the nook that probably had his bed, which was tucked behind a few tall book shelves and a curtain. “Just gonna get changed.”
Sirius chuckled to himself and went into the kitchen which was open to the living room/work space Remus had. There was a bathroom on the other wall. The flat felt cozy with all his books and knickknacks and the plush green sofa. Behind the sofa was a gallery wall, Sirius observed as the kettle heated. He wondered if any of the art belonged to Remus because Alice mentioned her best mate painted her and Frank an anniversary gift once.
“Remus, did you paint any of these?” There was no answer and Sirius realized he hadn’t heard any movement behind the curtain in some time.
He frowned, shifting towards the curtain. As he approached he heard snoring. He peeked behind the curtain to find Remus sprawled across his bed spread eagle and face down. Sirius worried briefly the man would choke on his own vomit. Maybe he could stay to make sure he was okay… and he really wanted to see Remus again and with his track record he doubted Remus’ anxiety would let him.
So he made a choice.
***
When he woke up, Remus groaned into his pillow as the end of the night came rushing back to him. Sirius drove him home. They shared a cigarette! Sirius came into his fucking flat. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He made even more of an arse out of himself.
With great effort Remus rolled out of bed. He was still in his clothes from the night before, thankfully his shoes were off so that’s a plus. As carefully as he could to not make his world spin, he shuffled towards his kitchen thinking about how he needed about a gallon of water.
The massive hangover had to be blamed for the fact he didn’t notice Sirius curled up on his sofa, under the throw that he crocheted himself, until he took a sip of water. “Jesus fuck!” He nearly shouted out of surprise.
This caused Sirius to sit up quickly, rubbing his eyes. “Fuck, sorry, Remus.”
“No. It’s okay, but why are you here? Not that I don’t want you here?” He grimaced.
“I got nervous you’d choke on your own vomit or something. I read too many biographies on musicians.” He squinted at him. “You have any eye drops?”
Remus dumbly nodded for a moment. “Thank you, ah, I’m sorry you had to deal with my cross faded dumbass.”
Sirius yawned, waving a hand as Remus passed by to go into his bathroom. “It’s okay. Don’t tell anyone but James says I’mn a mother hen.”
A laugh slipped out from his lips as he plucked the eye drops from the counter. “It’s… nice.”
Silence formed for a moment as Remus grimaced at his reflection before going back out to the sofa. He looked how he felt. Death warmed over. He tried not to think of the fact the man he wanked to was seeing him this way.
After he gathered himself he went to give Sirius the eyedrops. “Here you go. Can I get you coffee or anything? I don’t know what I have for breakfast.” He glanced towards the fridge trying to remember if he had anything decent in hand.
“I have to get going so I can shower and head to the café for lunch rush.” Sirius blinked after the drops went into one eye then the other. “But, erm, do you want to maybe get dinner this week?”
Cursing the blush on his cheeks, Remus stood dumbfounded. “Really?”
Sirius set the eye drops on the table, chuckling. “Yeah. I find you pretty… well adorable and strangely charming.”
“I should be insulted but I’m not .” He shook his head in complete disbelief. “After the coffee and me being stupid last night?”
“We’re all stupid sometimes. I’ve been stupid more than most probably. But I’be always been someone to dive in when I know what I want and since you came into the café I’ve wanted to take you on a date.” Sirius stood up from the sofa. “So I put my number on the memo pad on your fridge and if you’d like to do something text me. You gotta stop worrying about what other people think, Remus, it’ll kill you.”
Remus stared at Sirius for a moment, his raven black hair all a mess from sleeping and his grey eyes tired. He was still so gorgeous and he wanted Remus. “Yeah. Okay, I’ll text you and we can go on a date.”
Sirius grinned. “Good. I really do have to go. Take care of your hangover!”
Soon enough Sirius was out the door and Remus was left to stand in his living room wondering how he managed to pull Sirius. He needed to talk to someone. Alice was his only option.
Once he showered and managed to eat a bagel, he crawled back and to bed with his phone. He had a few texts from his friends asking if he was doing all right or wondering when he left. Alice had sent a few full of concern too. She was probably angry with him for leaving and not saying a word on top of the fact he got phenomenally wasted.
After one ring she answered, “Thank god you’re alive. Sirius texted that he drove you home.”
Remus laughed. “Sorry, Al. I didn’t realize how strong Gideon’s edibles were last night.”
“Idiot.” She scoffed but her voice was light. “Are you all right?”
“I’m hungover as shit. I didn’t ruin the party did I?”
“No you were fine, if not slightly weird about Sirius,” Alice replied.
“Is Frank there?”
“No he’s sleeping and I’m out in the garden.”
Remus cleared his throat. “Sirius stayed here last night to make sure I didn’t “choke on my own vomit”, his words. He also asked me out on a date before he left this morning.”
A laugh cut through the other end of the phone. “Wow he must fancy you. Did you say yes? Date with your OnlyFans crush.”
“It’s so weird, isn’t it?”
“I mean yeah, if you don’t tell him.”
“I can’t yet!” Remus groaned.
“It might break the ice for you.”
“Or he could think I’m a fucking weirdo.”
“Remus, it was all happenstance. It’s not like you stalked him to try to get a date. That would be weird. This just all happened and he’s the one pursuing you. I bet he’d like the openness and I’m sure he’s thought someone in his life could one day find him there.”
Sighing he shook his head. He couldn’t do that yet, it felt too weird to just blurt out. “I’ll see.”
“Means you won’t.”
Of course she was right. He already made up his mind.
***
Sirius stood in front of the restaurant he and Remus agreed on. It was close to Remus’ flat as well as the café so they both didn’t have to travel too much after work. He may have parked close to Remus’ flat as an excuse to walk back with the man after the date. That felt a bit forward, but Sirius wanted an excuse to maybe snog him just a little bit. He didn’t want a hookup so sex would not be on the table.
“Am I late?” Remus’ voice brought him out of his head.
When he looked up he found Remus standing there in dark jeans and a nice green sweater that made his hazel eyes look even more stunning. “No, you’re right on time. Come on.”
Remus opened the door for him. “Have you eaten here yet?”
“Nope. My cousin said it’s good though.”
“I’ve only gotten take away, so I’m happy to try it in person.” He followed Sirius into the warm entryway.
The slight fidgeting with the hem of his sweater and the tapping of his foot told Sirius Remus was nervous, so he tried to make him a bit more calm by asking after his work. Apparently he was doing a mock up of a site for Lily, who restored vintage jewelry. His eyes lit up talking about. Then he managed to find out about the art in his apartment — most of what was hanging in the wall was his. He even crocheted, and made the blanket Sirius slept under.
“You basically told me you had no hobbies when you were drunk, you know?” Sirius snickered then sipped his beer.
“I think you’re just impressive with all the stuff you do and I got nervous.” Remus waved a hand as the waitress came over for their orders.
Sirius felt his cheeks flush. He wondered briefly if he should let Remus know about his OnlyFans. It wasn’t something he planned on keeping, but he made good money that was his current security net. The last person he dated insisted it felt like he was cheating on her, so Sirius broke up with her quickly. Surely he should find out Remus’ thoughts on it before they went much further. He decided tonight wouldn’t be the night where he told Remus. Next time.
By the time dinner came, Remus was much more relaxed. Their conversation flowed easily. There were not awkward pauses and they just found endless things to connect on like music and tv shows and books. They chatted through dinner then dessert then a nightcap. Sirius didn’t want to stop but he had his personal rule and was going to stick with it, damn it. Not to mention he had to be up a dawn.
“Sorry I’ve got to end the night now.” Sirius looked sideways at Remus as they walked in the direction of Remus’ flat.
“No, it’s fine. I don’t know how you manage to wake up so early.”
Sirius snickered, one shoulder going up as they slowed to a stop in front of Remus’ building. “When you open your dream business it’s pretty easy.”
“I’m sure.” Remus shoved his hands in his pockets. “So I’ll text you?”
“Yeah, I’d like that. Maybe we can go see that movie you mentioned.” Sirius shifted just a smidge closer to Remus.
“Excellent.” His eyes glanced to Sirius’
He really wanted Remus to take the lead here, to show Sirius that he had it in him. Something told Sirius he wasn’t just an anxious apologetic wreck. Maybe it was Alice’s gushing about him and all that they got up to in Uni or it was the spark in his eye that he saw when they spoke about the importance of art.
“I’ll look up times.” Remus moved closer. “Can I kiss you?” He all but whispered.
Sirius nodded, his hands going to Remus’ shoulders as the other man pulled him closer and pressed his lips to Sirius’. Those soft lips tasted like chocolate cake and the mint he had been sucking on when they left the restaurant. They were both just the perfect height for one another, not bending or tiptoes needed.
***
The chaste kiss Remus had initiated turned deeper as Sirius had backed Remus against the brick wall. Fucking Christ. Dinner had been perfect and now this kiss? Well kisses? How did this happen to him? He must have been dreaming because there’s no way this perfect specimen of a human being would be interested in him.
“I should go,” Sirius whispered against his lips, his hand rubbing up Remus’ side.
“Yeah… you… you’ve got to get up at dawn.”
“Mmm.” He sighed before their lips met again.
Remus’ fingers went up into Sirius’ hair at the nape of his neck. He shivered at the scrape of Sirius’ five o’clock shadow and his fingers slipping just under the back of his sweater.
“Ok, okay,” Sirius mumbled as he pulled back again. “I really am going.”
Remus nodded, looking at him skeptically. “Yeah.”
“I’ll text you.” Sirius gave him a peck on the cheek.
“Okay.” Remus dropped his hands, staying against the wall as Sirius stepped back. “I’ll come get a coffee tomorrow.”
“Good!” He laughed loudly. “I’ll hold you to it.”
They finally said their goodbyes, and Sirius drove off as Remus peeled himself away from the wall. His jeans were feeling a bit too restrictive as he climbed up to his flat. God he wondered what it would be like to have sex with Sirius. He’s pretty sure he’d die. What if it ended up disappointing or weird? No, it couldn’t. Well it could.
Remus fell into his bed, staring up at the ceiling after kicking off his shoes and jeans. His erection was insistent. It didn’t flag with him wallowing for even a moment. Christ he was going to have to get over this ridiculous feeling if he ever wanted to actually have sex with Sirius because that would definitely make things worse.
With a groan he reached for his laptop. He needed to just get off and the only way to get that image of Sirius with his hand around his cock out of his forehead, was to resubscribe and watch a video. So he did just that, and pulled up Sirius’ latest video.
“Hello my darling, have you been good today?” Sirius asked and Remus reached for the lube in his night stand. “I’ve been thinking about what I want to do with you.”
Remus sighed when he finally wrapped his slick hand around himself. He gave a firm squeeze at the base for a moment, watching Sirius on his screen. It did feel odd knowing under the mask was the man he was dating but he was so worked up it didn’t matter.
“I got a new toy and I wish I could use it in you, but you’re far away so I can just show you how I’d use it.”
Letting out a groan Remus watched the screen as Sirius held up a black butt plug with a remote. He gave himself a slow stroke as Sirius showed it to the camera.
“It’d be all nice and snug inside of you and I could use the remote. I could fuck your face while you had it in. I bet you’d love that, my cock down your throat with this inside you. You’d do such a good job sucking me off, wouldn’t you?”
Remus shifted a little, trying not to stroke himself just yet. Christ he couldn’t cum just listening to Sirius talk. Well… he could but he wanted to wait and watch a little. But it was difficult with Sirius speaking in that low voice of his about how he wanted to be fucked with Sirius’ fingers just like he was doing to himself now on his laptop screen.
As Sirius pressed in one lubed up finger into himself, Remus could hardly wait any longer. He didn’t even bother scrubbing through the video to see what else Sirius did, no he just started to move his hand in time with Sirius’ finger.
“I know you’d like me doing this to you but watching me is good for now, isn’t it, darling?”
“Fuck,” Remus gasped as Sirius pressed another finger into himself, his strokes got out of rhythm with Sirius, so consumed by the thoughts of Sirius touching to him and speaking low in his ear.
“Oh, ah, I think that’s good.” Sirius removed his fingers with a satisfied little sigh. He shifted onto his knees to turn around. “A better view, hmm?” Christ he looked so perfect every which way.
Remus cursed as Sirius pressed the plug into himself. His toes curled, muscles tensing and he thought of stopping but he couldn’t. The plug settled into Sirius and Remus came with a pitiful noise all over his own hand.
He closed his eyes, remembering to breathe because he’s pretty sure he didn’t do that. If he came that fast in front of Sirius he’d be embarrassed. Fuck he was embarrassed now. Oh god, how was he ever going to actually sleep with him if that time ever occurred? He’d die.
***
The next night Sirius logged into his OnlyFans account to check on his stats and to make sure he didn’t have anything he needed to take care of. His last video went well and people wanted him to go live with the plug. Sirius wasn’t really interested in doing lives anymore, though they always made him good money. He always found it a bit tedious to perform like that, and now that he wasn’t trying to earn as much, he felt better skirting that. At least putting it off.
He saw his subscribers went up, so he clicked over to see the usernames. Sometimes people resubscribed and Sirius liked sending messages to them. He noticed Moons395 resubbed. Moons… that was the person who unsubscribed just last week. Moons also was close to Moony, Remus’ nickname and a man he met just the other week. He resubscribed last night right around the time their date ended.
Oh. Sirius frowned, his brow furrowing. That had to be why Remus was acting so strange. Frank had said Remus could be a bit anxious socially but he never had been such a wreck. Normally he had some quiet confidence about him, like a steadiness. Sirius could see that on their date when Remus relaxed. How he acted before that, well Sirius could see how someone might react when they meet the bloke they’d been wanking to by surprise — twice for that matter.
Sirius paused after closing his computer, turning over his feelings about it. Did it feel slightly awkward knowing Remus had been a subscriber to his OnlyFans and saw him do all manner of things to himself before they even met? Absolutely. Did that make Sirius want to stop seeing him over it? Absolutely not. Was it sort of funny that Remus clearly got so worked up by their kissing he went right up to his flat to jerk off to Sirius? 100 times yes.
Bit his lip he reached for his phone to text Remus. He was going to be a little bit of a dick but in a fun way. Hopefully Remus would have a laugh and they could properly talk about the situation. Sirius liked him, and wanted to give it a real go. They could only do that with some honesty.
Hey! Instead of going to the movies Thursday night, want to come by my place? I figure it's more fun than sitting silently in the theater.
Yeah, sure. I could pick up some food?
Sounds good. We can figure it out then.
After texting one another all week, Sirius happily buzzed Remus up to his apartment Thursday evening. “Hi, Moons!” He greeted Remus at his door, taking the Vietnamese bag from his hands.
Remus' face slightly scrunched up just for a split second.
“Sorry, that weird? I liked your nickname that Alice used.” Sirius invited him in. The man no doubt recognized some of the things in the flat including the sofa and the computer chair.
“No, that’s fine.” Remus laughed a little awkwardly as he followed Sirius to the kitchen. “How was your day? I was going to come by for that pumpkin cold brew you mentioned but I got caught up.”
Sirius regaled Remus with the update on his day and Remus did the same. He always told Sirius he was painting a birthday gift for their friend Mary but was feeling stuck.
“Don’t worry darling, I’m sure you’ll get it just right.” Sirius made sure to hang that darling out there for a second more than necessary.
Remus almost choked on his spring roll.
“Oh, swallow that down, Rem.” He handed Remus his beer.
This caused the poor man to go into another coughing fit. Sirius didn’t want to kill him but he was awkward and also stubborn.
“Careful, take it slow.” Sirius put a hand on his knee and Remus’ cheeks went bright red.
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat then took a sip of his beer. “So what movie should we watch?”
Sirius turned on the TV. “Do you like thrillers? I saw this one called Cam. It’s about this cam girl who has her account taken over and has to figure out what’s happening. Looks corny, but I do like porn—corn.” He clicked onto the app he had seen it in.
“Ah, sure…”
***
Remus watched as Sirius pressed start on this awful movie. He definitely knew. He knew and he was making fun of Remus. He said he liked porn! Sure when he called him Moons and said darling and did some other things it seems like a coincidence. It couldn’t be now. No one would choose this movie willingly even if you liked corny stuff.
“Ok! Ok! I subscribe to you!” Remus covered his face with his hands and Sirius let out what could only be described as a cackle.
“Oh thank god, Remus, I really did not want to watch this. It looks awful!” Sirius patted his leg. “Come on now, it’s okay.”
He shook his head, his hands still over his eyes. “Is it?”
Sirius paused and Remus felt his fingers wrap around his wrist. “Hey, drop these, I do actually want to talk about it so it’s not weird. We can make it normal.”
The softness in Sirius’ voice made Remus give in and soon he looked him in the eye. “I never thought about you seeing my username and making the connection.”
“I won’t make a joke about how you resubscribed right after the date right now because we’re going to have a conversation.” Sirius sighed, making a face. “Ok joke passed. But I want to tell you I’m okay with you having been following me and watching my stuff. It’s out there and I had to be stupid to think no one could ever figure out I was me. What gave it away?”
Remus pointed to his arm. “Your tattoo, sort of obvious.”
“I always hoped people would be too distracted.”
“I do like art.”
Sirius smiled. “And I like that about you. I like alot about you and I hope this isn’t something that could get in the way of seeing if we really fancy one another.”
“At first I thought it would but… I don’t think it will. Our date was probably the best I’d ever been on.” Remus rubbed the back of his neck.
“So you just happened to get to know me in an unconventional way.” Sirius shrugged. “That’s okay with me, so long as you’re done being an awkward mess because I like when you’re relaxed. I mean I think you’re pretty adorable being a mess too but I think you’d hate that.”
“I would.” Remus wondered briefly how he got so damn lucky.
“I’ve only got one… no two stipulations. One, we don’t have sex right away. I really want to get to know you and vice versa.” Sirius waved between them.
“That’s fair.”
“It’s not that I think you’re using me, I’m the one who asked you out and everything. I just think it's a good thing to do. So long as you don’t die from blueballs.”
Remus felt his whole face hot. “I’m never going to live down the resubscribe, am I?”
“Nope.” He grinned, tipping his beer towards Remus. “My other stipulation is simple: you don’t get to dictate about me posting on OnlyFans. I used it to open Demeter’s and I’m using it to build some comfort. I refuse to live my life owing anyone, which is a longer story for another day I think. But what I’ve made is mine and my last partner was an idiot about it.”
Shaking his head, Remus briefly wondered what more to the story could be but didn’t press for now. Alice said that she heard Sirius’ family were awful. It surely had to do with that. But he couldn’t imagine himself trying to tell Sirius what he could and could not post. If he were sleeping with other people he might find that hard to deal with but Sirius never did that in his page.
“Deal, unless you want to collaborate with some other OnlyFans star,” he tried to say lightly.
“Nah, I wouldn’t anyway. But if for some reason that ever came up I would bring it right to you.” Sirius smiled. “Don’t you feel better now?”
He sighed, realizing how much that had been weighing on him — far more than he even realized. “Yeah.”
“Good, let’s find something actually good to watch.”
***
A Few Months Later
Sirius hummed to himself as he dried off from the shower. In the back of his mind he thought of the cake for Tonks’ birthday, wondering if it was all right and what she wanted. Not that he had time to change it because they were already running later than he wanted. Tonks was always late anyhow so he reminded himself it’d be fine as he went down the hall to the bedroom.
He paused, hearing his all too familiar put on moaning. “Remus!” Sirius shouted through a laugh as he came through the bedroom.
His boyfriend was sitting, fully dressed and ready to go against the headboard. “What?” Remus looked completely innocent as he paused the video. Sirius wasn’t even exaggerating.
“We have to go, we don’t have time.” Sirius raised an eyebrow as he went over to his dresser.
Remus held up his hands. “I was just watching the new video you posted.”
Sighing, Sirius dropped his towel to pull on his briefs. “Oh should I be worried you’re not desperate to get off hmm?”
“I mean I just had the real thing.” Remus smirked at him. “I wanted to see what you posted this week and support my boyfriend.”
If OnlyFans had some #1 Supportive Partner award it’d definitely go to Remus. He even edited videos for Sirius and made him some wonderful banners. Remus helps pick out toys — which did benefit him in the end as well. Not to mention he paid for the highest monthly membership even though he had Sirius in real life.
“Okay, okay.” Sirius laughed, grabbing a pair of jeans. “Oh, Effy wants me to officially ask if you’re coming to Christmas.”
Remus chuckled, shutting the computer. “Are you asking me for Christmas or is this just Effy?”
Huffing he pulled on his shirt. “Will you spend Christmas with me at the Potters? I know you said your mum is off traveling the world.”
“Yeah I’ll come for Christmas.” Remus got off the bed. “I’d really love that.”
Sirius beamed, so thrilled that things were going well with them. Once Remus got out of his head about having seen Sirius come multiple times on screen prior to even meeting, they had an excellent relationship. Especially after the first time they had sex and Remus came so fast he was so embarrassed. That made Sirius very smug though. Now their sex life was excellent too, once Remus got over the fact he was sleeping with his fantasy man.
“Good because I’d be so sad to think of you at home all alone brooding over a painting or something.” He wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist.
“That’d be depressing.” Remus kissed him softly.
“Ok. We have to go.” Sirius hummed, brushing his lips against Remus’ for a second.
“You’re not making a good argument.”
“Nope, we’ve got Dora’s cake. Let’s go.” Sirius kissed Remus once more before pulling back, grabbing Remus’ hand and tugging him in the direction of the kitchen.
“Hey, can we use that new toy you got tonight?”
Sirius looked over his shoulder as they made their way through his flat. “Absolutely. But we have to get out of here right now.”
“I’m innocent.”
“Sure you are!” Sirius picked up the cake plate. “Let’s go.”