Work Text:
"I really think she would benefit the team, Dorn." Louis spoke as he poured himself and Dorn a drink. They met at Louis' place in the Hague after the case was closed and the team was sort of disbanded, unsure what would happen now that their credentials were only valid for that case.
"And you want me to do something about it? Louis..."
"I just feel like her police force is not using all of her potential. She was shining with the rest of the team, especially clicked with Hickman. Which is not an easy fit, as you know Carl is not exactly known to be sociable. Especially after…" Louis pointed to his own right hand to emphasize his point.
"Ah. Your American."
Louis blushed at the comment. He and Carl went back a long time, and Dorn was not exactly wrong to call Carl "his American", but they both decided that the thing between them would never stand a chance if it went further. That did not make him want to protect Carl any less, though. Carl was always prone to get himself into trouble and Louis’ instinct was always to protect. And okay, maybe getting Mac for this team was not just for all of their benefit, but rather Carl's. But she was a good addition to the team, and Louis would have killed two flies with one stone if he managed to get her to sign up for extending her services to the ICC team then…
"I admit it, I am fond of Carl, but that's not the reason. Not the only one, anyway."
Dorn looked at him knowingly, with a cryptic smile. Louis knew he was not fooling Dorn. He was experienced to recognize people's micro expressions, and Louis knew he was not being exactly subtle.
"Oh, Louis... What am I going to do with you?"
"Hey, you put me in charge of this team, Dorn."
"God help me, I did."
...
Louis went back to the office they used for most of the case until they had to travel all over France and Germany to track down the psychopath who left women in his wake every which way. It was where he found Carl, still sitting at the desk that up until a few hours ago, was occupied by one of the temporary members of the team. Occupied by the one he needed to get here as fast as possible.
Louis knew that he would have to do something soon, but seeing Carl like this made him realize that soon had to happen now. Before Carl spun into the deep well of depression again.
...
Carl didn't know what to do with himself. The events of the last couple of days weighed hard on him, and he just sat down in the chair, hoping he would get some answers in the process. But there was no answer, no nothing. He wasn't even sitting at his desk, this was Mac's desk. As if by sitting there, he would make Mac magically appear. He knew she was probably at her rented apartment, packing, maybe even left for Schipol. It was hard to entertain the thought that he would not see her anymore. She just barged in his life, took the reins of his feelings, and grounded him. When Anne-Marie was kidnapped, and Carl was lost and feeling guilty about it, she just picked up a blanket, wrapped it around him, and just sat there with him, to the amusement of Louis who after seeing he was safe, returned to the rest of the team.
Mac told him then, that what Louis said about "his mess to clean up" was just to make him focus and work on the case, to not lose himself in a spiral. Deep down, Carl knew this himself, but it felt like Louis' words were true this time. If he had gone with Anne-Marie, backed her up maybe... That was when Mac first touched him, just above his wrist on his right arm. She gently squeezed, and he found that his hand did not hurt. Usually when people touched him without any warning, there would be a tingling sensation and all kinds of nerve endings flare up. But not when Mac touched him. It was as if she possessed some powers.
She told him that if he was with Anne-Marie, the killer could have attacked him as well, maybe even killed him. And as much as Carl liked beating himself up for what happened, he realized that despite everything, he did not want to die. And just like that, his mind was back in the game, brain sharp as ever. Mac flipped a switch inside him, and he still didn't know how she did it.
After that moment, she became his shadow. She was watching over him, and if the situation was any different, or if she was someone else, it would be funny. But it was actually sweet how protective she became of him. Carl wondered what it was about that woman that turned his world so upside down and that he found his life was more bearable with her in it, only to be yanked from his grasp so soon.
Carl thought of himself as pathetic, as he finally decided to go home. Or what served as home for the last few months. Go back to what he knew to do best. And that was cleaning after people's waste.
But he felt paralyzed. As if he couldn't move a foot. That was when he heard footsteps and noticed Louis observing him.
"I still haven't lost my last marble." Carl exclaimed as he hugged his right hand tighter in his lap. He was due another morphine patch soon.
"I know you haven't. Sitting at her desk is not going to make her appear, Carl. Go home, get some rest."
"She was something special, Louis. I..."
"I know. I know. But it is what it is."
Carl hung his head so Louis couldn't see how much he was hurting.
"Yeah."
"Something else bothering you?"
"Ah, where do I even start? What happened to Anne-Marie, how twisted the killer's logic was, the bloody murders he left behind him, Sienna's death, the gun jamming in my hand... Take your pick."
"I talked to Eva. She reconsidered keeping an extra bullet in the chamber to prevent that from happening again."
"I appreciate it. But it wasn't that. It was the feeling of... Failure. I could see myself failing all of you. It's been hanging over my head like a black cloud. We never would be in that situation, if I didn't need that morphine patch."
"Carl, you need to stop beating yourself about it. You did what you needed to do, and I understand why. Who is to say something wouldn't have happened further down the line. Fact is, that man was so unhinged, he could have followed you from the store, if he wasn't waiting there. You just uncovered part of his game, he was ready for everything."
"But I can't help it. I... This thing is getting in the way. So much." Carl was barely able to lift his hand in the air from how much it hurt.
"And it will get in the way again. The pain is a part of you now, Carl. But how you deal with it is what's important. And you have found a way to do it where it won't bother you much. But maybe, you could try pills, painkillers. I'm not a doctor, but maybe alternate between that and the morphine patches. We will find a solution that works the best for you. I want you on this team, Carl."
"If we still have a team, that is."
"Don't let the uncertainty cloud your thoughts, Carl."
"Okay. I think I should go now."
"I'll be in my office working on my report, if you need a patch and some time to wait... I can keep an eye on you."
"You would do that?"
"Of course. Carl..."
"Thanks, Louis."
"Don't mention it."
Carl watched as Louis retreated to his office, and then pulled out a patch. He was grateful he was able to do this with someone around to keep an eye on him.
...
Louis was looking at his computer, wondering what to do next. He attempted writing the report, except he couldn't focus. He was thinking of his conversation with Dorn, about Mac, Carl and his morphine use, about his son... So many things on his head.
Louis shook his head to clear it from the thoughts, but to no avail. Everything was too much in his head.
He closed the computer screen and groaned. He would have to do something about Mac, and soon, because for now he managed to keep Carl away from spiraling thoughts, but he didn't know how long that would last.
...
It was a sad flight home. It did not last as much as Mac would have wanted, but it was better that the flight wasn't long, or had any turbulence. She took her laptop bag and the small suitcase from the cabin compartment, and then headed for passport check and to pick up her bigger suitcase. She called one of the few trusted airport taxi drivers she knew would be around this time of day, and she lucked out. There was a spot available, and she was in the car and on her way to Bitola in no time.
Watching the roads go by, and the scenery changing from mountains to fields, to mountains again, to tunnels, and roadwork, she let her mind go back to the Hague, and Paris and Berlin. It was her first time seeing Europe as it was, and instead of enjoying its beauty, she was stuck solving the case with the serial killer. But she felt alive like she hadn't before. Her potential was being used to its maximum, and no one from the team made her feel bad because she was younger than them, or that she came from a small country. No one tried to undermine her or to micromanage her handling of the cases. It was good for her to see how it could be done if she was given a little more of a free rein, instead of constantly being kept on a short leash. But it was back to reality now.
The two and some hours passed quickly, and she was back to her house. Her childhood home. Where her parents and grandparents still lived. Where she grew up and made memories at.
She loved this house and couldn't imagine herself living somewhere else, even if it was semi permanent. But after the last few days she spent with the ICC team, she realized that she truly wanted to flap her wings and fly away. Maybe not permanently, she really loved her hometown, and her whole life was here, her family and friends, her job, the house that one day would be hers... But for a while, she could see herself working with the team. And she missed Carl, she had to admit that. He was pretty, smart, and had so much pain in those blue eyes he tried to hide and act normal. Mac could see right through him, though. She was sadly used to seeing people who tried to hide their deepest and most painful thoughts in the dark recesses of themselves.
And there was the matter with his hand. She was curious as to what happened to Carl. She knew it was a work related accident, which was why the NYPD fired him, but there was more to it that Carl was willing to share, with her or anyone else on the team. But even with that cloud of mystery and the sadness, Carl was someone she felt connected to. And she wanted more of that.
She told her family how the trip went, and she was so happy they were proud of her and what she accomplished. She called her friends to let them know she was back and they arranged a coffee date the next day so that they could catch up.
Then she went to bed. Despite the same time zone, flights always were hard on her, and she could feel jetlagged for days.
...
Mac didn't feel better about her situation the next day. She decided to walk to the coffee bar they chose for the meeting with her friends. She wanted the walk to be able to clear her head. The last thing she needed was to get stuck in traffic and then start cursing out reckless drivers, and the potholes that sprouted everywhere, every day. And when there was roadwork… Ugh.
She let the sharp breeze get in her face, as she slowly walked, pretending there was nowhere she was supposed to be. She wondered what was happening in the Hague, if the team was still a team, if they got a new case, or if they also enjoyed a few days of vacation. She wondered when Sienna's funeral would be and if she would be invited to it. Granted, she knew Sienna for like two or three days, but she was still sad about her passing. That man was vicious. He didn't have to kill her, but he did it because he was crazy.
Mac felt a little better after she saw familiar faces and consumed one of her favorite coffees, but not by much. She still missed the team and the last few days.
She had dinner with her family when she returned home, and then she scrolled on her phone a little, before she felt too tired to do anything else, but go to bed. She was not known to go to bed early, but also the plane trip and the case screwed with her "routine", so she was asleep by 11pm.
Her phone started ringing and she spent a good few seconds looking for her glasses to put them on. She felt like Velma from Scooby Doo, trying to find them. When she finally put them on to be able to track where she put her cell phone, the call ended. She took a quick look and saw it was an unfamiliar number. She wondered if it was something about one of her cases here, in Bitola, or just someone hitting the wrong number, but realized they dialed it after they ended the call. She looked at the time on her phone. Two in the morning.
Just after she closed her eyes and decided she was going back to sleep, the phone rang again. This time, Mac answered it.
"Hello?"
"Mac?"
Mac was definitely awake now.
"Louis?"
"How does one get a ride from this airport and not be taken all the money just because of his accent. Sorry, I'm French and I speak English."
Mac rubbed one eye.
"Which airport?"
And only when she asked that she realized what Louis was asking her. He wouldn't be calling her to get a ride from an airport in Europe or something. Plus the phone number he called her from was local, probably purchased at the airport in question.
"Louis, where are you?"
"Well, unless I flew to another country by accident, the ticket says Skopje, Alexander the Great Airport."
Mac blinked. That was... Well, it was.
"Mac, are you still there?"
"Yes, I'm just still processing."
"Can you process a little faster, it's cold."
"Yeah. Let me call some of the people I travel with, see if anyone is there right now. I will call you back."
"Okay. Thank you."
Mac ended the call and laid her head back on her pillow.
Louis was here. In Skopje, but here.
So much for sleeping.
...
Louis arrived around six in the morning, he had to wait for a little bit, because two of the taxi drivers were unavailable, and one of them was dropping off passengers, so he was scheduled to arrive in Skopje around three in the morning.
Louis looked like he needed sleep as much as Mac needed it, but he still kept himself stoic through the introduction with Mac's family and then some of the neighbors, because of course everyone would notice a man from abroad visiting someone. First and foremost, a man.
"And let the gossip begin." Mac said as she ushered Louis inside the house on the second storey, so that she would be able to talk to him in private. And away from prying neighbor eyes.
"I take it that the friendliness of your neighbors is just simple curiosity?"
"If only. What do you want to drink? Or eat?"
"I'm good, I got a sandwich on my way here. We stopped for a rest, and I ate. I could use a glass of water, though."
Mac poured Louis some water and then she sat down.
"So... What brings you here all the way to Macedonia?"
"You."
"Me?"
"Yes. I spoke with Dorn, about how valuable you are to the team, and that I want you in it. He did not make any promises, but he talked with the people that gave the green light for us to be formed, and... Well, we are officially still a team. They will watch our performance closely, but that shouldn't be a problem."
"And?"
"And I spoke with everyone else, and they agreed to stay on the team."
"Except Carl."
"Okay, you have to tell me how you do that."
"I know you would have come for me either way. But, I also know you watched me and Carl bond. And you also want Carl on the team. So now you came for me, hoping that would get Carl to agree to stay."
"I might have an ulterior motive. Or two."
"I know. And my answer is yes."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
"What about here? About your home?"
"I will miss it. But nothing's been the same since I came back, and I desperately wanted to fit right back in, but my thoughts were with all of you."
"Okay then. Congratulations, Inspektor Jankovska. Welcome to the team."
"Thank you, Louis. Or should I call you Major Daniel now?"
"Call me whatever you want. I assume you have not unpacked, yet."
"You would be correct."
"I'll let you get ready, if you need to take something else with you. I kind of felt overconfident and booked you a seat on my returning flight."
"Of course you did."
Louis went outside, leaving Mac alone in the living room. She grinned so hard she felt her cheeks hurt. She was going back. She was going to see Carl.
...
Carl was not a fan of early mornings. But someone had to do them. Louis called them all and told them to be here at 8am. Carl really didn't know if he would agree to join the team, yet. He wasn't sure about it, and he didn't want to give Louis false hope. Deep down he knew the reason why he was holding out so much. It wasn't what happened to Anne-Marie, or with the serial killer, or his guilt complex. It wasn't even his hand.
It was Mac.
Mac not being around made the difference, and Carl simply didn't know what to do about that. If he asked for her, would he seem like he was desperate? Too desperate? If he said nothing about her not being on the team, was he betraying their bond and what they could be doing together?
There were so many questions, no answers to them, and his thoughts were a jumbled mess.
Just when he propped his head on his left hand and closed his eyes, there were footsteps and Louis appeared.
"Good morning, team. I'm glad all of you are here. I'm sorry for the early call, but there was an important announcement I did not want to do it over the phone. There will be a new member to our team. And I wanted to introduce you to her. And unless we catch a case, you all have a few days off. To rest and recuperate."
"Who is she?" Carl inquired.
"You'll see."
Just then, someone appeared behind Louis. Carl couldn't believe his eyes. It was Mac. Mac was here.
She waved at them excitedly, and everyone from the team went to greet her and welcomed her heartily. Only Carl was still sitting, unable to believe his eyes. Once the team had their time with Mac, they probably sensed the tension in the air, and Carl watched as Louis ushered them all out, under the pretense that they could all go and visit Anne-Marie in the hospital. She was transferred to the Hague yesterday and seemed to be better.
"Hey there, stranger." Mac greeted him, still smiling. Her cheeks must have hurt from smiling so much.
"Hey."
"I bet you didn't think you would see me again, did you?"
"I have to admit, I didn't."
"I know. Me too. But then Louis appeared and said he wanted me on this team, and I said yes. I hoped you also agreed to stay on the team."
"I didn't want to accept without you around."
"I see."
"I hope that did not come out creepy."
"Nah. You were just being honest. I like that. I am glad to know it wasn't just me who wanted this."
Carl nodded. He didn't know what else to say. He was still caught up in his feelings, and staring at Mac.
"I think a hug is in order, Mr. Hickman."
Carl got up from the chair then. He realized he was still sitting, and staring dumbly, not knowing what to do with himself.
Mac grabbed him by the coat, and pulled him in a hug, holding tightly. So tight, in fact, that he could feel his ribs move. He wrapped his arms around her and held on, as well. The hug was warm, and all encompassing.
It felt like coming home.
Carl felt more than saw Mac bury her face in his neck and he had to admit he wanted to do the same, but he didn't. He really didn't want to seem like a creep, doing that. He just held on.
They stayed like that for a long time. Carl was okay with it. The world seemed to right itself again with Mac here. And he'd rather be here with Mac than anywhere else at that moment.
Change was indeed good.