Chapter Text
Thali tucked his wool scarf tighter against the sharp wind, cutting a path through Haven with familiar ease. His ears stung in the bitter cold, but he ignored the discomfort and continued on his trek.
He did his best to avoid the worst of the ever-growing crowds as he weaved between bodies deftly.
Behind him, Varric's campfire had dwindled down to embers. Normally loud with laughter and conversation, the silence was jarring. He missed the dwarf already, though he'd never admit it. Varric would get smug, and then where would they be?
A herd of Chantry sisters nearly clipped his shoulder as they hovered past him. He clutched at the stack of loose papers in his arms, and silently wished for a writing board like Josephine's. It seemed like for every task he undertook he had to walk the length of the village three times over.
Eventually he was going to drop his lists, and he pictured the chaos he would wreak as he leapt from rooftop to rooftop to collect them before they blew away.
The corners of his mouth twitched at the image, certain it would only cement him further as Haven's most eccentric elf. A title that he, Solas, and Isera were all vying for at this point. He was pretty sure he would have already won, if his days weren't so full of paperwork. As it was, he simply didn't have the time to scale buildings and generally confound the populace at large. It was a shame, really; that was truly one of life's simple pleasures.
Thali brought his attention back to his duties, and scanned through the first page for what seemed like the hundredth time, as if reading it again might spark some brilliant revelation. It didn't. Instead it only made him more frustrated.
Their potion shortage was ongoing, and getting worse by the day. The Inquisition had never had a surplus of ingredients, but with each wave of new recruits their resources grew thinner. Every day more young hopefuls flocked to their gates, and half didn't know one end of a sword from the other. The training injuries alone were eating up their already meager reserves.
Passing his usual haunt, Thali nearly looked up to greet Solas before remembering no one would be there. Instead he kept his head buried in his reports and shuffled to the duty roster, wondering if they could spare any teams for foraging missions.
"Adan, how much of our elfroot stock is already dried?" Thali asked, pushing the door open without looking up.
"Most of it. Why do you think we're so low on poultices?" Adan called from the back room, emerging to greet Thali with the typical detached expression.
The alchemist's space was tidy and organized, a stark contrast to much of the rest of Haven. Drying plants lined every wall, and several tables had be repurposed into desks, covered from end to end in carefully sorted vials, flasks, and jars. Thali always appreciated the orderly workstations, and Adan wasn't poor company, despite trying his best to appear as such.
"I'll have a recruit take an inventory this afternoon," Thali said, holding up a hand before Adan could interrupt. "Before you say anything, no it won't be Everett, and I've already apologized for how many jars he shattered last time. Besides, they were all empty."
Adan scoffed, turning to tend to a concoction bubbling over a small flame. "If we lose any more, it's your fault."
Rolling his eyes, Thali bent above a nearby table and scratched a few hasty notes across the duty roster.
"How is the garden coming along by the way?" he asked. He rifled through his stack and brought another sheet of paper to the top. This one was less formal than the others; the words were unreadable to anyone but Thali, and the page was full of scribbled notes on botany and plant taxonomy. If he was lucky, rewriting every little thing he had ever read would lead to a break through. It was unlikely, but Thali was still holding out hope.
"Ask me again in the spring and I'll have a decent answer. Can hardly grow anything in the winter up here, told you that already," Adan muttered. The cauldron began to bubble and he pulled a pair of goggles over his eyes to lean over it.
"Right. Which is your way of saying the soil mixture isn't working as well as we'd hoped. I'll make a note of it. There may be another strategy we can try," Thali sighed.
"Andrastes ashes, you and your strategies," Adan grumbled, but Thali thought he was only half as annoyed as he let on. Between the two of them Haven's stock of ingredients had doubled in capacity since the conclave, but still it never seemed to be enough.
Thali tapped his quill on the page, wracking his brain for the memory of a text he hadn't read in more than a decade. If he could just recall the specific ratio of soil additives... He would have to ask Josie if she could track down a copy. What good was his teenage obsession with botany if he couldn't make use of it now?
Early afternoon light filtered through the cabin's windows and Thali rubbed a tired hand across his brow. Adan was only one of several stops he needed to make, and the day was already half over. He was grateful, at least, to blame his budding headache on his ever-growing to-do list. That was always easier to accept than the ones that appeared from nowhere.
"Unless you need anything, I'll let you return to your work," he said.
Adan offered him a dismissive wave in response, and Thali took his leave. The mountain air was sharp and cold, but not unwelcome. He breathed it into his lungs and took the steps two at a time.
Between rotation schedules, scouting reports, and housing requests, the rest of Thali's day was escaping quickly. He would have preferred to solve all of the problems in front of him before it ended, but knew that was impossible. The Inquisition was working with limited resources, nonexistent funding, and seemingly endless roadblocks. The fact that they could still afford to feed everyone seemed like a miracle most days.
In the two months since the Conclave, he had somehow ended up deeply invested in the Inquisition's success. He had his misgivings at first, it was true. In the beginning, he had no choice but to stay and aid with the Breach. It would have gone against every instinct in his body to simply leave, knowing demons poured from the sky and assaulted innocent people. But he knew how very out of character it was that he hadn't left yet. It had been a long time indeed since he had stayed in one place for this long.
Something in Thali knew his dedication was inevitable the second he had met Isera, however.
When she stepped into battle beside him he could feel the fear coming off her in waves. But she never wavered, not for an instant, and when the time came she flicked her wrist up to the sky and sealed the rift that he and a dozen other soldiers had been toiling under for hours. He looked into her eyes, so wide and uncertain in those first moments, and knew he would not be able to leave. Not when this woman, barely out of childhood, was being thrust into center stage without anyone even bothering to teach her the lines.
Everything about her was painfully familiar. He resolved, if only to himself, to ease her burdens as much as he possibly could. It seemed as worthy a purpose as any to throw himself at in his final days. If nothing else, it was a funny kind of irony; now playing the role of companion and advisor for a woman who had no idea she was following a path so similar to his own.
Enlisting had also proved to be an extremely convenient distraction. Thali was very good at solving problems, and if there was one thing they had in abundance, it was problems. When it became known to the rest of the Inquisition that he seemed to relish solving the ones no one else wanted to, his role was all but cemented.
That was no less true today than it was any other day. The number of severely injured in their ranks was now small enough to move them into a few cots within the healers cabin itself, which meant that the two cabins previously used to treat them were finally free.
That should have been a good thing, if not for the three dozen unhoused pilgrims and refugees that were now clamoring to take their places.
He supposed he shouldn't judge them too harshly for wanting better accommodations than the freezing tents that lined the outskirts of the village. Not everyone was as used to a soldiers life as he was. Still, he had little sympathy for the ones that had chosen to journey to Haven for religious or political reasons. They could have just stayed home, for all the good they were doing here.
When one of the men had tried to complain about being forced to live with so many people, Thali swallowed the urge to throttle him. He was some minor noble, if the fine fabric of his clothing was any indication, but when Thali looked at him all he saw was a waste of their already precious resources.
Instead of knocking some sense into him physically, Thali reminded him that he could either share the new barracks, or continue sleeping in the snow. The man had grumbled but eventually relented.
Haven hardly had enough room to house their own, let alone every random stranger that showed up wide-eyed and mystified.
Each one was more devout than the last, and Thali was beginning to lose his patience. They crowded the Chantry at all hours, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled Herald of Andraste. He wasn't a fan of the reverence in their stares, and it made his skin itch to no end.
At least they were finally starting to gain some influence, he supposed. Josephine swore that proper funding would soon follow, but he wasn't holding his breath.
By the time the afternoon started to creep to a close, Thali found himself with a rare moment of calm. He set the rest of his papers aside for the day. They could wait until tomorrow morning.
Instead he slipped out of the crowded village and onto the training yard. Leaning back against the rough lumber of the wall, he let out an exhausted sigh and just watched.
His eyes followed the movements of the soldiers as they ran through practiced drills. Training wasn't his job today, and he really did try not to pay attention to the mistakes in form and positioning. He was not succeeding.
"You see it too, right?" Bull's deep voice pulled him out of his musings. Thali looked up to greet him with a nod.
He always appreciated the Qunari's company, even if there was a shrewdness to him that could be uncomfortable at times.
"See what, the way Briggs keeps antagonizing the elves, or the way Everret can't keep his broadsword up for longer than thirty seconds?" Thali asked.
"Yeah, you see it," the Qunari said dryly. "They're getting better, I'll give em' that. Cullen's putting his Templar training to good use."
"Did he tell you he was a Templar?" Thali turned to him with a curious expression. At Bull's pointedly raised brow he smiled and shook his head. "Of course not. Let me guess, shield angle tipped you off?"
"Ha!" the booming laugh would have startled Thali if he wasn't used to it by now. "Damn right. Might not be a Templar shield, but it's definitely a Templar holding it. Qunari learn the same thing when we train to fight Tevinter mages. Your Templar's doing good work."
Thali tried not to scoff at 'your Templar'.
On the other side of the field the Commander in question was pacing around the rows of soldiers. Cullen's arms were crossed stiffly behind his back as his eyes flitted between them. He barked an order Thali couldn't hear, making one of the recruits jump, then straighten his stance with a grimace.
"He's rather good at it, isn't he?" Thali asked under his breath.
"What, you surprised?"
"No, I suppose not. Just impressed by what he's managed to accomplish, considering we've so little to work with," he said.
Bull nodded, scratching his chin idly.
"It takes time to build a group into a team. But he's got their loyalty. Now he just needs them to build a decent shield wall and they'll be good to go."
"I'd settle for keeping their shields upright at the moment, but it's something to work towards," Thali chuckled.
They stood beside each other in silence, taking in the field of recruits. Bull was right, they were improving rapidly by the day.
Cullen really had managed something no one could have expected. In less than two months the man had built their growing army into a force to be reckoned with. They had a ways to go yet, but the difference now, compared to the first battles under the Breach, was impressive.
Thali knew from bitter experience just how much pressure Cullen must be under.
"You know, biggest problem for the Inquisition right now isn't on the front line. It's at the top," Bull said sharply. "You've got no leader, no Inquisitor."
Thali sighed, folding his arms across his chest.
"Don't I know it. It takes them three times as long as it should to get anything done. An extra hurdle for every advisor," he mumbled.
Bull hummed in agreement.
"You know who it's gotta be, right?"
Thali scowled.
"I mean, she's already leading in everything but name," Bull continued, meeting Thali's eyes with a serious expression.
"I'm well aware," he replied softly.
His mind turned to Isera. She must be halfway through the Hinterlands by now, on her way to the Storm Coast where a ship would meet her.
He remembered his first trip to Val Royaux. He silently hoped she would be spared some of the horrors he had witnessed, if only for this first visit.
"I just wish it were different. She didn't ask for this, doesn't deserve it. It isn't fair that she has to shoulder it," Thali continued.
"Huh. Here I thought we were fighting a gaping hole in the sky. Didn't know things had to be fair," Bull said. "You like her. That's obvious to anyone with eyes. Hell, you gave her your damn horse. You're telling me you wouldn't follow her into battle?"
"Of course I would," Thali said, a little too quickly. He cleared his throat when Bull raised a brow at him silently.
"It isn't that. It's just- Everyone needs her, and she won't even think to refuse. She'll let herself be shaped, and molded, and honed like a blade to meet the Inquisitions needs. And when it's all over and everyone else gets to go home, she'll be left in the dust, wondering what comes next. I know how this goes, Bull."
He shut his eyes and tried to shake away the image of Isera riding into battle at the head of a charging cavalry. Who would she be when all of this ended, he wondered.
He was so lost in his thoughts he almost didn't hear Bull mutter, "Yeah. I'll bet you do, Freckles."
The Iron Bull's clever mind was one of Thali's favorite qualities about the man. Until, of course, it inevitably turned to focus on him.
He knew he wasn't a good enough liar to hold up under Bull's scrutiny for long, and was simply grateful the Qunari hadn't yet asked him to explain the many discrepancies in his story.
His conversations with Bull usually ended like the one today had; with Thali leaving as soon as he started to feel a little too seen.
The thought of his own complicated web of deceit reminded him that he was late to a meeting with a far more skilled liar. How he had come to find himself surrounded by so many of those, he had no idea. He could have sworn his life had been simple, once.
The dungeons of Haven's Chantry were damp, but warmer than he expected. Usually he and the spymaster met in more innocuous locations, somewhere they could have simply stumbled upon each other. Today, however, the dead drop beneath the loose stone in front of Thali's tent held a message directing him down this dark stone stairwell.
"Have you sat still at all today?" Lelliana asked, emerging from a shadowy corner at his approach. "Besides to converse with your Ben Hassrath friend, that is?"
"Hello to you too," Thali said with a nod. "I'll remind you, I didn't hire him. I simply vouched for his company's effectiveness. You don't travel around Orlais without learning of that. And if I recall, you agreed with me."
"Yes yes, I'm only teasing," she waved a lazy hand in his direction and smirked. "Has he guessed your secret yet, I wonder?"
Thali scoffed and leaned one shoulder against the wall, content to keep his back to the door knowing Lelliana would be watching it closely.
"If he has, he hasn't said anything about it," he said.
"There would be no need for the concern if you didn't insist upon maintaining the deception," Lelliana said, face impassive even as she raised a judgemental brow.
"You know exactly why I have to. You think the Chantry hates you now? Wait until they find out the Butcher of Dairsmuid is one of your Lieutenants," he spat the title like a curse.
"That is not your only title, Thali," she emphasized the name no other soul in Haven knew him by. It always felt strange to hear, after so long living simply as Lee.
"If you think that would make any difference, you don't know the Chantry as well as I thought you did. Not to mention the position it would put you in with the Order Cullen is so desperate to recruit," Thali said, pulling his hand down his face. The headache was getting worse. "What did you wish to discuss so badly that it couldn't wait?"
Lellina's expression softened only slightly, watching the way he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"How are you?" she asked, and the lilt in her voice was so familiar in that moment, Thali almost wanted to cry.
Instead, he barked out a sharp laugh and said, "Same as yesterday. Same as last week. Same as the month before. This must be the slowest, dullest death I've ever heard of."
"How unusual," Lelliana's shrewd expression returned as she looked him up and down. "All the reports I have gathered suggest your condition should be rapidly worsening. And you've truly experienced no progression of symptoms?"
"They're as bad as they always are. Which is to say, I feel like shit. But I can manage it," Thali shrugged and looked away from her calculating stare.
The spymaster said nothing, holding a hand to her chin. The both of them apparently deep in thought as the moments passed.
After all these years, Thali still found comfort in her presence.
She had changed so much, and he supposed he had as well. But to Thali she still felt like a lighthouse in a storm. Someone to whom he could share every detail of himself, with no fear of the consequence, or what it might cost him. To the few she gave her loyalty, Lelliana was unbreakable. He hoped he might earn his place among that group again.
When he had first arrived at Haven, just before the Conclave exploded and threw all of his plans to the wind, Thali hadn't known what to expect. After the years encumbered both of them with duties and responsibilities, the letters they exchanged had eventually died out. Their last contact had been more than six years ago.
Somewhere at the bottom of his chest in Vigil's Keep her letters sat bundled with all of Thali's other cherished correspondences. On the bad nights, when his title sounded hollow and command left him empty and isolated, Thali would open that chest and dig them out. As though no time had passed at all, he would reread them until the sun rose, hearing the words in their voices.
After the breach appeared, all it took was one look at Lelliana for him to be throttled back to missing her desperately. Even if she only returned his gaze with an icy suspicion, at first.
"Lelli," he started softly, listening to her scoff at the old nickname. "You knew me as soon as you saw me. How?"
"Please. You look exactly the same," she said with a roll of her eyes.
"If that were true we wouldn't need to have this conversation in a dank dungeon," Thali said with a tired smile. "Then- he still hasn't said anything to you?"
Lelliana's smiled in the predatory way that had always made Thali nervous.
"Ah, that's what you mean. No our dear Commander has been quite satisfied with the fabricated past I've crafted for you. Former soldier of the Blight, mercenary of no renown, and traveling sell-sword. That is enough for him," she said.
Thali frowned, unconvinced.
"He is not a complicated man, Thali," she added dryly.
"I don't know about that," he replied, gazing into the flames of the brazier that flickered above them. "Sometimes he looks at me and I'm certain he's figured it out. Then he just moves on. Passes on reports, or orders, and never says a word about it."
"I don't think that look means what you think it does, my friend," Lelliana said, the smallest giggle bubbling out from under her typically cold exterior.
"He's not dense Lelli. The longer I spend around him, the more certain I am that he'll figure it out," Thali said. "I almost wish he would. We were friends once, or I thought we were anyway. It feels wrong to speak to him every day and keep this from him."
"In this instance, he is as dense as stone. Cullen would not guess your identity if you donned a dress and told him yourself," Thali grimaced at the thought, scoffing at Lelliana's crooked smirk.
"Your secret is safe for now," she said. He tried to be comforted by that.
"In the meantime, however, I had another question," she continued, her features instantly sobering as she crossed her arms behind her back.
Thali tilted his head at her, content to return to business. Anything was preferable to the way his stomach did acrobatics at the thought of explaining himself to Cullen.
"The mages in Redliff have closed the city gates. They are not allowing passage in or out, by anyone. My agents within have been forced to withdraw, or risk being cut off from the Inquisition," she said. Her tone was formal and sharp, and Thali's mind whirled with curiosity.
"Why would Fiona isolate? Last I heard, Isera had cleaned up the worst of the fighting in the area. There are less threats to the mages now than ever, what could have changed?" he asked.
In the short time he had spent with the rebels, Thali had known Fiona to be a calm, calculating woman, not prone to rash decisions. She must know that isolating Redcliff would be seen as aggressive. Neither the crown nor the surrounding countryside would look on it favorably. While he didn't know her personally, he thought it out of character for her to disregard the risks of a choice like this.
"My agents have been unable to determine the cause. However, they have reported that a rift has appeared just outside the city gate. It is apparently surrounded by strange and unfamiliar magic," Lelliana said. She narrowed her eyes at him, and Thali wondered what insight he could possibly provide her with.
"You've shared all of this with Cullen and Josephine, I assume," Thali guessed.
"Of course."
"Why bring it to me then? I've told you everything I can of the rebels. I was only there for a few weeks myself, before I left for the Conclave," He said.
His mind reeled with potential explanations, but he didn't share them. None of them made any sense, and he didn't have enough information to work with.
"Even so, among the mages, yours would be a familiar face, would it not? I imagine they would not turn away one of their own," she countered, and Thali suddenly realized what that calculating look on her face had meant.
"Oh Maker's balls Lelliana, you can't be serious," Thali groaned.
"I am. The Herald is still a week from reaching Val Royaux, and will not return for nearly three. It would be wise to gather as much information on the rebel mages as possible in the interim," Lelliana said.
She looked at him like a blacksmith assessing a sword, wondering if he could serve the purpose she required.
Unfortunately, he knew that he could.
"No one here knows I'm a mage. What excuse will you give them?" he asked.
"That you have family in Redcliff, someone to petition for entry into the town. Of all of our soldiers with such connections, you have the experience to warrant embarking on such a precarious mission," Lelliana's stony facade cracked for an instant and she added with a smirk, "the Commander will agree, he speaks very highly of your capabilities."
Thali scoffed and chose to ignore the comment.
"How could I doubt, of course you've already thought of everything," he said, resigned to his fate.
Lelliana was nothing if not thorough, and once she made a decision there was little point in arguing with her.
"Naturally," she said with a dip of her head. The corners of her mouths pulled upwards in the smallest of smirks.
"Well, thank you for the warning, if nothing else. I suppose there are a thousand things I need to see to before my duties can be passed on to someone. When do I leave?" Thali sighed, not looking forward to the logistical hurricane that reassigning all of his tasks was going to cause.
"Three days, at most. You won't hear from me again until you're summoned to the war room for the assignment," she replied.
Thali pushed himself off the wall and started down the corridor, stopping for an instant when Lelliana called back to him.
"Do try to look surprised when you find out," she teased, and Thali could hear the grin in her voice. He let out a tired chuckle, before pulling open the door to the dungeon and starting back up the stairs. He knew she would stay for a few moments longer, staggering their exits, but Thali needed to refocus his mind on the tasks ahead.
He was still conflicted, but the calculations he had already begun to shuffle through were comforting. Three days would not be long enough to take care of everything he wanted to, but he thought he could manage the transition well enough.
Thali wondered if Cullen would let him steal a few of the recruits with farming experience. It would certainly be helpful for their experimental garden to have daily attention from skilled hands.
In addition to their supply concerns, he and Rylen were in the middle of developing an updated training regimen for the more experienced soldiers. He supposed the Captain didn't need his direct input anymore, but Thali would still be disappointed to miss the implementation of the new program.
With every stride their soldiers made, Thali felt a nostalgic and familiar swell of pride. They were as much his men as the Wardens ever were. It was a feeling he had not expected to develop, but it wasn't unwelcome.
The voice that interrupted his whirlwind of thoughts, however, was very unwelcome.
"Lieutenant!"
Thali kicked himself for not skirting around the edge of the courtyard.
"Quartermaster," Thali said through gritted teeth, "What can I do for you?"
"I've been lenient with you Lieutenant, but you're not above procedure!" she said, angry with him for something yet again. He sighed, doing his best to keep his jaw from clenching.
He wasn't given the chance to respond. Instead Threnn rambled on, and Thali wondered how long it would take for her to exhaust herself this time.
"Your requistion forms are completely out of order, and if I hear one more report about you just taking supply crates out of inventory without checking them out I'll-"
"You'll what, Quartermaster?" Thali nearly jumped at the voice sounding from behind him.
He whipped his head around to see Cullen, arms crossed and brows furrowed. His cuirass gleamed in the setting sun, and he gave Thali a small nod before returning his attention to Threnn. To her credit, she didn't shrink from his glare nearly as much as Thali thought she would have.
"Commander! I was just reminding the Lieutenant that we have processes for a reason, and that-"
"I can assure you, Quartermaster, that the Lieutenant is well aware of our processes. If you are referring to the ore and material he requisitioned this morning, the forms were submitted to me for approval," Cullen produced a scroll from his belt and handed them over with a stiff arm.
Threnn looked shocked, rug pulled out from under her, but the Commander wasn't finished yet.
"Should you have any problems with my men in the future, I would advise you to come to me first. Since proper procedure is so important to you," he leveled her with a hard stare, and Thali felt a rush of blood flood his face.
Threnn gaped at him, then at Thali, opening and closing her mouth as if she couldn't decide who she wanted to argue with first. She thought better of it and said nothing, before nodding curtly and turning on her heels in retreat.
Thali took a breath, trying very hard to cool his cheeks. Where was a cold wind when he needed one? He couldn't care less about the public scene they had inadvertently created, but he was unused to needing someone else to come to his defense.
When Cullen turned to him, they both spoke at the same time.
"Apologies Commander-"
"Does she often-"
Cullen cleared his throat, nodding for Thali to continue.
"I should have retrieved the forms from you earlier and delivered them myself. I'm sorry you needed to be involved, Ser," Thali said.
He found it was best to fall back on titles and propriety whenever Cullen unmoored him. Which happened more often than he liked to admit.
Cullen shook his head, uncrossing his arms and resting his hands casually on the pommel of his sword. Thali glanced around, frustrated at himself for how flustered that simple posture always made him.
"I can't fault you for forgetting. Captain Rylen informed me you've settled our housing crisis, at least for the moment. For that alone, I would happily deliver a dozen forgotten forms," he said, the corners of his lips turning upwards.
Thali swallowed harshly, wishing his complexion was more forgiving of a blush. Even after years of well-needed sunlight, his pale cheeks still emphasized every embarrassment that flitted across them.
He wanted to kick the man in front of him, at the very least to stop him from offering anymore praise that Thali was ill-equipped to process.
Cullen had other ideas, however, and continued.
"For all your other talents, you're the only soldier in this army with a modicum of diplomacy. If the only complaints I receive about you are from our Quartermaster, I consider that a success," he said.
Thali couldn't help the surprised laugh that escaped him.
"No one ever accused me of being diplomatic before, certainly not Threnn," he said with a shake of his head.
Cullen furrowed his brow and Thali cringed, regretting bringing Threnn up again. He let out a tired breath, wishing he weren't so exhausted, or that his head wasn't still pounding. Talking to Cullen was much easier early in the day.
They began to move out of center of the courtyard, skirting to the side of the Chantry. The bustle of the village meant their argument was quickly forgotten, but Thali still appreciated that both of them were more comfortable out of the open.
"There does seem to be some tension between the two of you. How often does this sort of outburst occur?" Cullen asked, less inclined to forget the interaction than the rest of Haven.
"It's nothing I can't handle. We had a small disagreement, when I first signed on. I don't think she's let it go, and frankly neither have I," Thali said.
"Ah, I didn't mean to imply- that is, I'm certain you're capable of handling yourself- handling it yourself I mean-" Cullen's eyes were wide and he reached up to rub the back of his neck sheepishly.
Thali had to bite his cheek to keep from smiling. The stuttering Templar from his youth still made an appearance every now and then. It never failed to tug at something long-forgotten in his chest.
"My intention is only to insure you are not being treated unfairly," Cullen finished soundly. Thali charitably attributed the blush in his cheeks to the cold, hoping Cullen would do the same for him.
Thali offered a shrug, trying to remain casual against the roaring tides between his ears. Maker- if his damn head would just stop pounding, maybe he could think clearly.
"She's equitable enough. Takes care of her people, and she does her job well. I have no real complaints. Suppose I just should have kept my mouth shut when we met," Thali said, the facsimile of a smile creeping onto his face. "What was that about me being diplomatic?"
Cullen hummed, acknowledging his words, but the frown didn't leave his face.
"And she isn't- has never-" Cullen paused, searching for the words. "Some of Lelliana's elvhen agents have had comments about the way she speaks to them. If she's behaved similarly to you, I would know of it. The Inquisition should be above such behavior," he said.
"If only it were that simple," Thali said, huffing as he crossed his arms.
He looked out over the crowded courtyard, rather than meet Cullen's eyes. The man was painfully earnest at times, and it never failed to throw Thali off balance.
The truth was, Threnn was a bit of a dick when it came to elves. But it wouldn't change the situation for Cullen to reprimand her for it, and they couldn't exactly replace her on a whim.
It wasn't the first time someone had a problem with him based solely on the shape of his ears, and it wouldn't be the last. At the moment he didn't have the energy, or the sanity, to press for Threnn to be corrected. Cullen meant well, but he wasn't the one that would have to deal with the aftermath; at best Threnn and others with similar opinions would be colder to him, at worst they would find someone else to take their frustrations out on. Likely be another elf with even less power than he had.
Suddenly he found himself missing the Wardens. They were rough around the edges, and no one gave a shit about propriety or correctness. But for whatever reason, petty hatred had a hard time flourishing when every one of them was equally tainted. What was it Alistair had said? The Blight really did have a way of bringing people together.
Thali realized with a start that he had gotten lost in his thoughts again. Cullen was staring at him, waiting for him to continue.
He gave Cullen an apologetic look, trying to let him know that he was fully aware he had spaced out, before answering his question.
"Threnn has some rather enthusiastic beliefs about former Teyrn Mac Tyr. I couldn't help myself, I made a rather colorful comparison of his tactical decisions to the instincts of a wounded nug and. Well. I don't think she's ever forgotten it."
A breathy chuckle escaped Cullens throat before he could stop it. He tried to cover it up with a cough, and Thali couldn't help but smile.
"How very Ferelden of you," Cullen said, dryly.
Thali hoped he could just wave the rest of the conversation away with another joke, and be on his way, but Cullen spoke again before he had the chance.
"You served during the Blight. I would imagine you have... opinions on certain events," he said.
"So does she. Guess she was Loghain's Quartermaster, once upon a time. Or maybe an apprentice, she couldn't have been much older than me then," Thali replied.
He certainly didn't remember seeing her at Ostaghar, but then again he had only spent a few days in the war camp before the battle. Fraternizing with the other soldiers wasn't exactly high on his list of priorities at the time.
"Still. If her previous interactions are any sign, she is less than subtle with those views. I won't address it myself, but I would like Lelliana to have a conversation with her. At least, in the hope that it will cause no additional troubles for you," Cullen said.
"You're the Commander, Ser. I defer to your judgement. And happily. I'm content to ignore her if she does the same. Though, I hope you'll forgive if I make as few trips to her tent as possible," Thali said with a sigh. The look he gave Cullen was probably more exhausted than he wanted it to be.
"A difficult goal, considering you seem to handle most of our logistical concerns before I can even get eyes on them," Cullen joked.
"What can I say? I've always loved a good puzzle," the smile that crept onto Thali's face was an easy one. It really was a relief to be in an army, rather than leading one. So much simpler to support a Commander than command himself.
The horizon ahead of them was darkening swiftly, and the sun cast an orange glow across the village as it threatened to dip below the mountain range. Thali loved the sunsets. This was the only time of day that warmth made its way into the colors of Haven; every other moment was tainted with the green glow of the Breach. He forced himself to breath through the anxiety that always reared its head when he looked at the thing.
Yet another reason he was grateful he wasn't in charge; he had no idea how to deal with the Maker-forsaken hole in the damn sky. As he exhaled, he reminded himself that he didn't need to. That wasn't his job. Not this time around.
They stood together in a comfortable quiet, watching as the village began to ease to a halt. All around them people hurried to finish their business as the day came to a close. Thali let himself feel comforted by the familiar monotony of the scene before them.
For all the traveling he had done in the last four years, it felt better than he could have imagined to be still. To have both feet planted firmly in one place.
Not even the discordant song echoing constantly in the back of his mind could take that peace from him. Morbidly, he considered that this would be a very nice place to die. Void take the Deep Roads. He would spend his final days in Haven, if he had anything to say about it.
Thoughts of the Calling brought with them a bone-deep exhaustion, as always. But it had been a very busy day, and Thali was grateful that sleep might be a little easier to find because of that.
From the corner of his eye Thali noticed Cullen's left hand shaking softly as it gripped his sword pommel.
He made no mention of it. Instead he filed it away, determined to take a few more duties off of Cullen's plate tomorrow morning. He kept the tremor well-hidden, but Thali had spotted it weeks ago. It wasn't his place to ask, but it was certainly part of his job description to make the Commander's life a little easier.
That was his job wasn't it? Loghain had always known when Thali was over-expended, and while his solutions were less subtle than he would have preferred, they always helped. Thali may not have been Cullen's second-in-command, but no one else seemed to be stepping up to do ease his burdens. He told himself that was just what a good soldier did.
"Planning on sleeping much tonight?" Thali couldn't help but ask.
"Wh-what?" Cullen breathed, eyes wide.
Thali smiled at his startled expression, certain Cullen hadn't been expecting the question.
"There shouldn't be any remaining reports for you to handle. For now. I'd apologize for taking away your best excuse, but I think you get less rest than I do. And that's saying something," Thali shrugged.
It was true; Cullen was usually awake before he was, and he knew for a fact that the man retired later. He also knew that Cullen didn't have any trusty Warden stamina to rely on. How he managed it, Thali had no idea.
"I can't complain about you being too efficient," Cullen said dryly. "Though you do know with your mare gone, you don't need to wake before dawn to tend the stables anymore."
"Tough habit to break I'm afraid," Thali said, decidedly not mentioning that he hadn't slept past daybreak in a very long time. Ignoring his better judgement, he teased, "Besides, who else will keep you company in the cold?"
"In that case I can't imagine either of us will be getting much sleep," Cullen said, seeming not to realize the implications of those words.
Thali's face broke into a smile as he chuckled. He decided to spare the man having to connect the dots while Thali was still there.
"Thank you for checking in, Commander. I should see to the last of my duties. I believe I'm on the training roster for tomorrow morning," he said, avoiding eye contact with a solute and a short bow. He was certain he would start laughing if he had to meet Cullen's confused gaze.
He left Cullen standing along the side of the Chantry, and when he looked back he saw that his eyes had widened in realization and a deep blush had risen to his cheeks.
The grin on Thali's face grew wider. Some things, he supposed, never changed.