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An Omega’s First Fucking

Summary:

Kyle Broflovski is an omega, who’s always longed for the touch of his greatest enemy, Eric Cartman. Even though it’s beyond his wildest dreams, one day….!

Notes:

THIS IS A JOKE

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

One day, Kyle was standing in a flowery field, his green and pink maid dress billowing in the wind. A cool breeze washed over him, making his tail stand up and his crimson fur ruffle. 

Suddenly, Eric Cartman appeared, adjusting the apron on his maid dress. Unlike Kyle’s, Eric’s maid dress was red with blue hearts and yellow bows.
In this world Alphas got bows on their dresses, and Kyle, as much as he tried to bury his feelings, was filled to the brim with jealousy. 

“Lost in the sauce, schnookums?” Cartman said seductively, moving toward the omega with lust in his eyes. 
Kyle blushed a furious shade of green and orange when his enemy approached, his eyes quickly turning neon rainbow. 
“Awww, look how easily I’ve gotten to you, omega slut.” Eric said, his eyes turning bubblegum pink and his pupils morphing into heart shapes as he pulled Kyle close to him. 

“A-ah~!” Kyle let a moan slip from his mouth. He was too stunned to stifle it. “Sorry, Cartman-senpai~!” 
“You just keep getting cuter and cuter…” Eric said. “Wanna see if your Kyle Broflussy can take my fat Ericock?” 

Kyle gulped loudly and nodded aggressively, his fluffy ears twitching.

“Alrighty-roo then, Kyel-chan~” Eric said, lifting up Kyle’s dress and shoving his girth in the omega’s tight Kyle Broflussy. 
“A-ah~!” Kyle moaned, his voice going high pitched. “God, Cartman-senpai~! You’re s-so big, uwu~~~~!!🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🖤🩶🤍🤎💔❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹❣️💕💞💓💖💖💗💝💘”

Neon rainbow cum quickly shot into Kyle, making him moan even more as Eric pulled out. 
“Noooooooo!1!1!1!11!!!!” Kyle whined. “I miss your sexy, juicy alpha Ericock so fucking badly~~…!” 

“Wanna take it in your sexy mouth, Kyel-chan?” Eric said, whipping his cock out again. 

“Yes~!!🧡🧡🧡💚💚💚!1!” Kyle moaned, eagerly dropping to his knees and beginning to eagerly suck the alpha’s Ericock (it was hard as a fucking rock). 

As good as the sexy, juicy Ericock tasted to Kyle, as Eric pushed his fat dick further into the omega’s mouth-

CRACK. 

 

The omega began to taste something new in his mouth, something that wasn’t just Ericock and cum (that had previously tasted like whipped cream and glitter, before being absolutely soiled by this new taste). 

Eric pulled his fat dong out of Kyle’s mouth, and his eyes widened in surprise when he didn’t receive a whimper from his lover. In fact, all he could see was Kyle covering the lower half of his face, and something neon pink dripping to the floor- OH MY GOD. 

“HOLY SHIT, KYEL!” Eric dropped to the floor, pulling Kyle’s hand away from his face  and gasping at the sight before him. 

 

The redhead’s jaw was morbidly slack, his mouth hanging open as red blood poured from Kyle’s mouth like a waterfall and a gut-wrenching scream escaped his lips. 

A crimson pool was quickly forming on Kyle’s dress, and Cartman didn’t know what to do except splutter. 
“H-Holy fuck, Kyel- I’m so sorry, I-“ tears the size of cranberries began to fall from the fatass’s brown eyes as he tried to collect some of the blood in his hands. Not like it’d help lessen the stain’s effect or anything, but Cartman really didn’t know what to do.

The sun had set by now, and everyone who’d previously been simply strolling through the forest had gone home. No emergency services had the capability of reaching the two, as they were in a very remote area with no service—not like either of them had a phone anyway. 

“I’m so sorry, I never even asked you if you wanted to do any of that in the first place…you were probably just putting on an act…” Cartman weeped as Kyle nodded vigorously, then wincing horribly and crying out at the shake of his head. 

It was like his jaw was just hanging around in there, like it would’ve dropped to the ground if there wasn’t any skin holding it back. 

“I’m so sorry Kyel…” 

Notes:

Somehow this is the most hits I’ve ever gotten on a fic 💀