Work Text:
“Deadpool man, Deadpool man.”
“Does whatever a Deadpool can.”
“Slashes thieves with his knives.”
“Cross his path and he’ll end your life.”
“Look out here comes the Deadpool man!”
“Wade!”
“What?”
“Don’t tarnish my theme song with your butchered, half-ass lyrics!”
“You don’t own it! Wade scoffed, taking an impossibly large bite out of a poor defenceless strawberry doughnut and somehow swallowing it without choking.
They had just finished another patrol together. It was their third one this week and more importantly another kill free night for Wade to add to his slowly growing list. The Merc was doing well, so well in fact that Peter bought tonight's after work food as a reward. A delicious bag of well earned hot dogs and sticky sweet doughnuts courtesy of the ever awake late night food vendors. God bless those magical people of food!
The two bags of food were gratefully received as food often was by the Merc. Wade made no secret that he had and would work for food every now and then which suited them both just fine because Peter was poor and Wade was a bottomless pit.
Now if he could only instil some table manners into the Merc.
He had already wrestled the bag out of Wades hands twice tonight so when the Merc had started humming happily to himself, paying more attention to the skyline then the bag, he took his chance grab what he could and settled down to munch in peace.
It was so rare to eat quietly around Wade. The man liked the chat, to an audience or just himself, It didn't really matter just as long as he could talk freely. A catchy tune or crippling depression were the only things that shut him up. Thankfully the latter was less common and if he was being perfectly honest Peter would say he preferred it when Wade was happy and talkative even if he did prattle on and on and on.
“Honestly, you hear one street performer killing a violin and deafening poor innocent bystanders and suddenly you turn in the Disney corporation!
“Next thing you know your gonna go all copyright image on the dudes who sell the Spiderman t-shirts in the park. Hell i bet you’d even set Matty on them. Lawyer their asses and sue them for every penny they've got. How could you Spidey! You use to be cool!
“Are you quite finished?” Peter asked between a mouthful of his own sweet pastry.
“Never!” Wade yelled, loud enough that a few curious heads appeared at the windows in the building opposite them. Two young children bounced excitedly and waved while an older “gentleman” open his widow to “polity” ask them to keep the noise down.
Peter waved to the children while hoping a man of that age doesn't use that sort of language in front of kids because that was not cool bro. Wade seemed oblivious to all the starting eyes and continued to prattle on heartily.
“This is so unfair Spidey boy. You get a theme song and what do i get? Nothing that’s what!”
Peter snorted. “What do you mean nothing? You’re the Merc with the mouth and the Regenerate degenerate. That’s two thing you have.”
“Yeah but those are titles, nicknames I earned thanks to my shining personality. They are not theme songs you silly spider. Beside have you never been on the internet? You have tone of names. The Amazing Spiderman, Spectacular Spiderman, Sensational Spiderman, Ultimate Spiderman-”
“Okay,okay I get the picture.” Peter held his hand up to make him stop because he seriously couldn't take any more adjectives and he was pretty sure people only ever called him the amazing Spiderman. Well, the people who actually like Spiderman that is. Take the elderly gentleman from earlier who clearly wasn't a fan and was still shouting at them from across the street.
Damn old people these days were determined.Of course he should know, what with his aunt May being one such old person (In the nicest possible way.)
“If you really want a theme song so bad then you need to come up with your own original verse. Don’t steal the hard working heroes tune.”
“Excuse me but what is unoriginal about the Deadpool Song!?”
“The Deadpool song? Yeah i don’t think so and there's nothing original about it.”
“But the song-”
“No Wade.”
“But Spidey!”
“No.”
“Fine!” Deadpool crossed his arms, finally coinciding defeat and sulking like a child. Peter smiled and helped himself to another pastry. Score one for Spiderman.
Silence settled between the two, even the old man had finally called it quits and pulled himself back inside his building to do whatever it is grumpy old men do at ten o'clock at night. Only the natural sound of the city could be heard, creating a reassuring white noise to relax with. Wade eventually uncrossed his arms, still looking a bit sullen and helped himself to another doughnut.
Of course silence couldn't last forever with Wade around and soon soft humming rose above the street noise, gentle and kind of pleasant to begin with.
And then it got louder.
“......”
“......”
“... na na na na”
“na na na na”
“Na Na Na Na”
“NA NA NA NA
“DEADPOOL!”
“Wade!”
“What?!”