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Lucy found herself being raised into the air on a metal platform surrounded by bars. It was a crude attempt at a cage. A cheering crowd surrounded her and hot, bright lights illuminated her, making her feel awfully small. They had just – finally! – arrived in New Vegas only to be plunged into a new horror via a cleverly hidden trap door.
She looked around and found Cooper on a similar metal platform, cowboy hat still on his head, shotgun sticking up just past his shoulder. Two other people stood on the far side – a female ghoul and a male human. The ghoul was slightly curled in on herself and the male looked confused.
A klaxon sounded and confetti rained down from the ceiling causing Lucy to jump. “WELCOME!”, an announcer yelled, “TO THE
“GAME!”
“SHOW!”
“GAUNTLET!”
The crowd went wild. Another platform lowered and a well dressed man in a purple suit descended into view. He held a microphone in one hand and calmly wave at the crowd with the other.
“I’m your host, Tommy, and today, we have a brand new batch of contestants! Let them introduce themselves!” he pointed to the closest person, the female ghoul. “What’s your name, sweetie?”
“Julie,” she coughed out. “My name is Julie.”
Oh yeah she is definitely going feral, Lucy thought. Lucy tried to wave at Cooper but he didn’t seem to see her. He looked down at the ground below the metal platform like a cat debating on whether it could land a jump.
The human male did a half wave. “My name is Mark and I don’t want to be here.”
“Well, too bad because you’re now a contestant on the:
“GAME!”
“SHOW!”
“GAUNTLET!”
Lucy covered her ears as the crowd started up again. She yelled, “Cooper!”
Cooper looked over at her, “Lucy!”
The announcer ran with it. “Lucy! Glad to have ya! And you little,” the announcer looked her up and down, “Vaulty?”
Lucy looked at Cooper. He looked pissed. She threw her hands in the air and yelled, “Cooper!”
“Cooper! What a lovely name for a girl,” Tommy said with a wink.
Cooper made a gesture towards the announce that Lucy didn’t recognize but figured it was probably obscene.
The announcer ignored him. “Alright, you cappies, here are the rules: answer five of the ten questions correctly and you get to go free with a handful of caps. Don’t answer the questions and you end up in ROUND TWO. Survive round two and you get our special cap bonus!”
“As a reminder,” the crowd got real quiet and he paused for dramatic effect. “No one has ever won round two.”
“ARE YOU READY?”
“No,” Mark said quietly.
“Julie!”
The announcer started down the line. Julie tried to focus but the harder she tried to harder she lost her mind. It ended with her slamming her head into the cage.
Mark didn’t do too bad but his heart clearly wasn’t into it. He got 4 out of 10 right.
“Alright, Lucy,” Tommy said with a wink to the Ghoul. “You’re up! First question: what is the condition that causes high blood pressure in pregnant women?”
The crowd snickered.
“Preeclampsia.”
Now it was the announcer’s turn to snicker. “Alright, good guess! Question two: what company had to pay for surgery after one of their products disfigured an employee?”
“Abraxodyne Chemical,” the Ghoul answered almost as fast as the announcer ended.
The crowd went wild. Bottle caps were thrown into the air. Lucy picked confetti out of her hair. The announcer looked mortified, and maybe a little scared. He had underestimated the Ghoul. And it seemed clear to Lucy that he was intentionally asking questions he didn’t expect the contestant’s to know the answer to.
“Alright,” he said through gritted teeth. He cleared his throat. “What is the name for a device used by a gasoline internal combustion engines to control and mix air and fuel entering the engine?”
The Ghoul looked almost bored. He absently tugged at the fingers of his gloves. “Carburetor.”
Lucy hid her face behind her hands and giggled. How was he doing this?
The announcer’s platform got a little closer to the Ghoul’s. Now it was a good old fashioned standoff. Tommy flipped through his book of questions.
“What plant makes tapioca?” he spit out.
“Cassava,” the Ghoul replied, letting the word roll off his tongue, and similarly rolling his eyes.
The announcer glared. He flipped through his book some more. “What year was REPCONN Aerospace founded?”
Ohh, smart question, Lucy thought. But this guys doesn’t know he lived through it.
The Ghoul flicked his hat upwards with his trigger finger, eyes gleaming. “2054.”
The crowd absolutely lost their shit and Lucy had to shove her fingers back into her ears. Luckily she did as the klaxons started up again along with a buzzer and some smooth jazz.
The man slammed the book closed. He took a deep breath, glanced at Lucy, and then plastered his face with a fake smile.
“Well, it looks like we have a WINNER!” Confetti fell from the ceiling again. He snarled, “And there can only be one winner.”
Cooper’s platform started moving upwards while Lucy's, Mark’s, and Julie’s started descending.
Cooper looked down at Lucy, then scaled the cage and dropped down into her platform. The platform rattled under his weight so hard her teeth hurt.
“Well, hello again, Darlin’,” he said, tipping his hat at her. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Preeclampsia?” she asked.
“My wife had it,” he replied with a shrug of a shoulder.
The klaxons sounded again. “Alright, it looks like our winner is taking fate into his own hands.”
The lift reached the bottom and the cage doors opened. “Now it’s time for ROOOOOOOUND TWO!”
From down here, Lucy could barely make out the audience above her. The ground was littered in caps, confetti, and glitter making it slightly slippery beneath her shoes.
“A fight to the death! May I introduce our crowd favorite fighter: Victoria the Deathclaw!”
At the far edge of the room a curtain was pulled back to reveal another cage holding back a very large, very overweight, and very mad Deathclaw.
“Oh, fudge,” Lucy said, thinking back to her last encounter with one of these beasts. She’s pretty sure part of her knife was still in its neck.
“Do’ she got a yellow bow on her horn?” Cooper asked, tilting his head to the side.
Lucy looked closer. “Oh my god. She does.”
“Victoria is our undefeated champ! She has survived over 200 rounds of
“GAME!”
“SHOW!”
“GAUNTLET!” The crowd was now screaming it along with him adding to the cacophony of noise.
“And has eaten over 800 contestants!”
“How did they get a bow on her?” she asked.
“I ‘ave no godly idea.”
“Contestants, are you ready?!”
“Had to’ve tranq-ed ‘er.”
The beast roared and threw herself against the bars of the cage.
Mark tried to climb back into the lift he had come out of.
Lucy and the Ghoul drew their guns in unison.
“Okie-dokie.”