Chapter Text
The Star Destroyer Executor, a thin starship with a long V-shaped body, sailed slowly through space. Inside the ship were many Imperial officers at work. Standing before the viewing windows was a LEGO man wearing black robes and a mask representing a skull. It was Darth Vader. As the Sith Lord moved about the ship, his attention focused on an Imperial officer, who was busy pressing buttons on a remote.
“What news have you learned of Luke Skywalker,” LEGO Darth Vader asked the officer. They were in the midst of making final preparations to sail to Coruscant. That is, if they could get out of this junk pile. Literally, there was a junk pile in space that spanned out around the asteroid belt.
“We’re detecting the rebels now. They should be in Hoth at approximately…” the Imperial officer, dressed in a grey uniform and admiral cap, was cut off by a holocall. He asked Vader, “Aren’t you going to get that?”
“Yes, admiral,” Vader said, waving his hand in front of the admiral’s face. What seemed like choking the admiral, Vader instead threw him up against the wall. To his dismay, the admiral darted off. He answered the holocall from his private chamber, which showed a blown up moving picture of Emperor Palpatine, wearing a black hood over his LEGO head. “What is thy bidding, my master?”
“Have you uncovered the location of the Rebel base?” the Emperor asked.
“Yes, and I have new plans for another Death Star,” Vader answered.
“A second Death Star?” the Emperor asked, chiding away, “Who’d want a second Death Star? It’s the same ship.” He cut off Vader, before his apprentice had the chance to speak, “Never mind that now. Guess who called this morning. Guess guess guess!”
“Um… Senator Yawn of the Bureaucratosis sector,” Vader asked, guessing absentmindedly.
“No. His name is Lord Voldemort. And he’s not very happy with us, when you failed to defeat Frodo Baggins and that wretched clone who turned against us,” the Emperor said, furious.
“Um… is it Jek?” Vader asked, confused.
“No. It’s Fodo Braggart. That clone needs to be taught a lesson. And now that Voldemort will join our crew, you can expect there will be more work to be done for you, Lord Vader.” The Emperor said, ecstatic, “Oh! I’ve got another call. See you in a bit, Lord Vader.” The holocall ended, the hologram vanishing in the faded lights.
“Oh,” Vader said to himself. He was not happy with this operation. How many times did he have to find and, hopefully, beat Frodo Baggins and his twin clone Fodo Braggart? The whole mess didn’t feel right.
Well, at least he had his schematics planned for a new base. So what if it was a second Death Star? This plan would work for sure this time. If only he knew how his master felt about it. Either way, Vader was excited about building the new Death Star. And that was the end of it, the end of their conversation and for stopping the Rebel fleet, for good this time. Yes, it was a good plan. A great plan… oh! How was he to find Frodo Baggins again? The little hobbit could be anywhere, or have gotten himself into trouble that he didn’t foresee…
No. The Death Star plans came first. And that was the end of that discussion. Case closed. Vamous! Caphice! Oh, he would come up with a new list of phrases to use against his crew and the apprentices that worked for him and Emperor Palpatine.
Nothing would stop him now.
-.-.-
Meanwhile…
LEGO Frodo Baggins checked his curly hairpiece one more time. It fitted just right, as did his party clothes. Good. He was ready to meet Tauriel, the flaming red haired elf archer. Oh, he did find her on Tatooine. That incident he remembered well:
Frodo had just landed his Starfighter inside the nearest docking bay. Just as he leapt out, he had to brush off his breeches more than once. There sure was sand flying around everywhere. But his gaze was elsewhere, for LEGO Tauriel leaned against the door frame, shaking her head.
“Frodo, when a quest is over, we’ve gone our separate ways.” She smiled at him a moment later. “But I’m glad you came.”
“Yes, we’ve done that. But uh… I’ve come to ask you something. This may sound awkward. I had hoped to do this right…” He looked up at her again, his smile sheepish. “Tauriel, is it possible for a hobbit to court an elf?”
“It’s unheard of, but then a Took did fall in love with a fairy.” She sighed. “My heart was set on Kili, but he’s gone now.”
“Oh,” Frodo shuffled his feet in anxiousness. He gestured towards his ship. “I think I’ll head back to the Shire now. Thank you, Tauriel.”
“But we could date, if you’d like,” Tauriel said. That stopped Frodo in his tracks. He hadn’t expected this response from the elven archer. He smiled at her.
“Of course we could do that,” Frodo said.
“Good. When do you want to meet?” She asked him.
“How about in the Green Dragon,” he added as an afterthought, “tonight.”
“I’ll meet you there, Frodo,” Tauriel said, zooming off with a smoky cloud trailing behind her.
Frodo chuckled. All right. He had plans to see Tauriel at the Green Dragon. How was he to approach this matter? He would have to give this some thought…
That was four hours ago. Now, Frodo made sure he was prepared to go to the Green Dragon inn in the village of Bywater. Making sure Bag End was in one piece, Frodo stepped outside his home, closing the front green, round door behind him. It was a beautiful day in the Shire, with a beautiful sunset to bring Frodo to the tavern.
Hobbit children rushed past him. They were heading back to their homes for dinner and supper. Frodo chuckled at the sight of them. Yes, he did miss home. But now, gathering his courage, he opened the inn’s green doo and stepped inside.
Inside the dining area of the Green Dragon were various hobbits. The only person who stood out the most was Tauriel. However, Frodo couldn’t help noticing a few hobbit fangirls staring googly eyed at him. He gulped, unsure how to approach the fangirls.
“Frodo, you made it!” Tauriel said in delight. Frodo grinned in embarrassment, as Tauriel hugged him. The moment he was released, Frodo blushed.
“Let’s have a seat,” Frodo said, sitting down on a LEGO chair. As Tauriel joined him, while a waitress received their orders, Frodo returned his attention to the elven archer, “Tauriel. Um… I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
“You’re wondering if I’m dating someone? Frodo, we’re on a date,” she said.
“Yes.” Frodo wondered if Legolas noticed, or Fodo. No. He wouldn’t let that get to him. Taking Tauriel’s pale clawed hand in his own, Frodo told her, “I like you, Tauriel.”
“I like you, too,” Tauriel said, blushing. Frodo looked up and down at the red hearts floating above his and Tauriel’s heads. It was obvious they were in…
“Legolas of the Woodland Realm,” said the booming voice of LEGO The Lord of the Rings Narrator. Frodo looked around in confusion, only to see Legolas, with his blonde hair and green elf archer’s clothes, carrying a LEGO boom box across his shoulder. The Narrator continued to speak through the boom box’s speakers, “He’s saved thousands of lives. Legolas of the Woodland Realm. He’s a friend to all dwarves, hobbits, men and wizards. Legolas of the Woodland Realm, he’s the fastest Silvan elf archer to shoot three arrows with one Lothlórien bow. Legolas of the Woodland Realm…”
“OKAY!” Frodo groaned, loudly. “Legolas, can you turn that off?”
“Why, friend hobbit?” Legolas said, moving a large lock of blonde hair off his shoulder. Frodo shook his head. Typical elves to spoil the perfect moment for him. Legolas smiled widely with pearly white teeth. “This is my moment to shine.”
Tauriel shook her head.
“Typical,” Frodo said, answering Tauriel’s thought. He spoke to the blonde haired Wood-elf, “Legolas… um. Where’s your fangirls?”
“What fans? I am free of all fangirls,” Legolas said, posing again.
Tauriel covered her face with her clawed hands. Frodo pointed to the screaming fangirls surrounding the tables and booths.
“Um… do you mean those fangirls?” Frodo asked, timid.
“Oh. Got to go!” Legolas said, charging out of the Green Dragon. The fangirls followed him, screaming and giggling. From the window, Frodo witnessed Legolas ride off on his white elven steed, the fangirls charging after him. Frodo looked at Tauriel, wondering what she had to say on the matter.
“Will he be all right?” Frodo asked her, confused.
“Yes. He’ll return. He’s been chasing me ever since the Battle at Erebor,” Tauriel said, sipping her drink in her LEGO blue mug.
Frodo grunted. Well, at least nothing bad would happen to them on this day. He hoped as much would happen.