Work Text:
“Hey, he got us the other day,” Agent Kelly whispered. “And I’m smaller. This’ll be a piece of cake.” She moved the table underneath the air vent in their office, climbed on top of it and prised the cover off. “I overheard him talking with Agent Romanov, and he uses the air ducts to get around.” She wriggled up into the duct - it was more cramped than she was expecting, but she could just about wriggle along. “Pass us up the gun, Delancey. I don’t think you’ll fit up here. Just keep a watch.”
Her partner in crime picked up the large, brightly coloured toy sniper rifle and passed it up to her. He shook his head in disbelief. They had been in the corridor when Agent Barton had just received his latest NERF toy. The large toy came with a barrel attachment and was battery powered. The purple robin hood had peppered the corridor with foam darts from the ceiling for a good few minutes before he had run out of ammunition and retreated. The pair of them had also been in the rec room and overheard Barton and Romanov discussing the prank. When Kelly had heard him say he used the air ducts to get around, she had immediately begun planning.
Kelly took hold of the NERF gun and pushed it in front of her as she made her way along the duct. It was a bit tricky getting around the first corner, but she made it, and kept crawling. She knew that Agents Barton and Romanov were sparring in a nearby gym room, and that was where she was heading.
What she didn’t count on, however, was that the duct became smaller as it crossed the roof of the gym. She made it in and to the vent cover, but found that she couldn’t get the angle to drop the cover out, or point the NERF rifle through the grille. Her plan foiled, she tried to back along the duct, but found that when she reached the squeeze point, she couldn’t get back out.
“Delancey, come in,” she hissed into her comm unit, trying to keep her voice as quiet as possible. “I appear to be stuck, over.”
Delancey heard the message come through, quiet though it was, and couldn’t help but laugh. He had, after all, warned her about the ducts being too small. “How far did you get? Over.”
“I made it to the gym, but I a) can’t get the vent out at the other end, and b) can’t get the angle with the NERF gun. Over.”
Agent Romanov’s ear twitched as she heard someone talking nearby. “Clint, I think there’s someone in here with us,” she said. She looked around the room. The sound had appeared to come from somewhere near the ceiling.
“Can’t be,” Agent Barton replied. He used the momentary distraction to put her in an arm lock.
She threw him onto his back in retaliation, and then walked over to the corner of the room she thought the sound was coming from.
“Are they still in there?” Delancey asked. “I’m not going anywhere near a sparring Black Widow and Hawkeye. I’ve had get-my-ass-kicked sessions with them before. Over.”
“Yes, they’re still in here, but I can’t hear them sparring any more. You should be… .AH!” Kelly screamed as someone hit the base of the air duct.
Delancey ripped his comm unit out as she screamed. That girl had a good set of lungs on her.
“Who are you? What are you doing in there?” Agent Romanov snapped after Agent Kelly’s screaming had subsided.
“A-Agent Kelly, ma’am,” the younger girl finally managed to stutter as her fright from being discovered wore off.
“Kelly? Small girl? Curly brown hair?” Agent Barton asked.
“Yes, sir,” Kelly replied.
Barton laughed. “Do you have a NERF gun up there with you?”
Kelly paused before replying. “Yes.”
Barton’s laughter intensified. Agent Romanov looked at him. “What’s so funny?”
Barton got his laughter under control and held up a hand to Agent Romanov, asking her to wait for his reply. “Agent Kelly, were you in the corridor the other day when I was testing out my latest NERF gun?”
“Yes.”
“And were you in the rec room when I was discussing the merits of using the air ducts as a way to get around?”
“Yes.”
Barton grinned. “You obviously missed the part of the conversation where I said they didn’t work.” Agent Romanov began to smile as well.
“Didn’t work?”
“Yeah, you see, you can go in one direction fine, but usually when you try to get back the other way, you get stuck. That’s why I just use the crawlspace in the roof.”
“Oh.”
“Nice try, though, kid.” He wave to Natasha to get her to walk away from the duct. “We’ve got to get back to training now.”
Kelly heard them start to walk away. “Um. Agent Barton, Agent Romanov, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, could you help me out of here?”
Barton looked over at Natasha and grinned. “Should I?” he mouthed.
She rolled her eyes and nodded. The last thing they needed was a junior agent stuck in the air ducts for an hour or more while they finished training. He climbed onto a pommel horse to reach the duct and pulled the vent out. He took the NERF rifle off her and dropped it to the gym’s floor before she could fire, and then offered her a hand to pull her through the duct.
When they were both on the floor of the gym, Barton handed her back the rifle. “Use the crawlspace next time, kid.”
“I will.” She turned to walk off, knowing a dismissal when she heard it. When she reached the door of the gym, though, she turned around. She had her gun, he was off guard… “Agent Barton,” she said, to get his attention. “Thank-you.” She quickly lifted her NERF gun and pulled the trigger twice. Two darts arced through the air, both landing and sticking to Barton’s suit. She grinned and ran.
Barton pulled the two darts off his suit and looked over at the chortling Agent Romanov. “Oh, this is _on_,” he said.