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She awoke, blinking her eyes to recognise where she was at, groaning as she saw the sunlight paving its way through the curtains of her flat at 9:30 am. She’d never been much of a morning person to be precise, but something was different, she was lying on her couch, breathing in and out, relaxed in ease and in the warmth of somebody’s arms wrapped around her. And obviously, she wasn’t alone.
Elizabeth realized something had occurred—the night before.
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It was the first time she’d seen Robert in over the span of six months, perhaps since whatever business venture he had going on in the Netherlands. Sure, they’d texted once in a while, small talks of asking how one was doing, but this time? It felt as if there was a shift in the ambiance…Having him step foot in her flat again after a period of time, and being in her presence. Elizabeth had caught Robert’s eye focused on her as he stood to leave his coat by the hanger near her door, seeing her in a black dress that was sheer with patterns of flowers sewed at the back, and never had she looked more beautiful to him at that very moment. Hunger slowly began to grow in the base of his stomach like wildfire. “What?” Elizabeth smirked, her mind seemed to be on the same page as his. “You–you look good. Beautiful, really I mean wow.” Robert replied, grinning with his head turning up and down. The atmosphere was quite hazy, what must have felt like snapshots of him turning the radio on as he’d take her hand and sway her into a dance, the way the lamp dims her room at midnight when they’d snuggle into slumber, the depth of his eyes being the first thing she’d see once she’d woken up, was all she remembered when her mind flashed with how it once was with him.
“Seeing something you like?” She teased him, walking over to the counter to pour wine on each of their glasses, Robert’s eyes drop from her eyes to her mouth, as he takes the drink from her and leans by the wall near her kitchen. He wishes she could easily sway into his arms again, though Elizabeth made a promise to herself that’d go and ask him where they stand. The question had been in the back of her own mind ever since she found out he’d be visiting her again. “I’m seeing someone,” she remembers him telling her half a year ago, but it wasn’t like it mattered at this very moment. Was he still fucking her? Her mind blipped for a few seconds, not that they were definitely exclusive anyways, she shouldn’t be jealous of the possibility.
But little did he know that the curtain of bliss was heavy enough to completely mask the window to reality, she knew they’d been here before, but somehow there was an urge, an urge that she couldn’t resist once more.
Fire was burning hot beneath her, moving closer to where he stood. The night was long, and the venom running through her veins was potent. The question died on her lips as she set aside her glass of wine, and took his own glass too as they were getting closer, melting into him. She couldn’t help but cling herself to his shoulders; like they were stars that held her entire universe together. “Robert…” Uttering his name as if it were a prayer, while he whispers Elizabeth’s name back, as he curves his lips onto hers.
The world was spinning, as if they were the center of the damn universe.
Robert leads her to the couch, his lips never leave hers and before they know it she’s lied down and he’s atop of her. She feels the press of his mouth on her neck, his lips brushing onto it ever so lightly, and it takes her breath away like the clouds passing through a breeze. His hand runs through her sides, its touch glistening like stars on her skin. Her eyes close with the thought of him consuming every part of her being, her body and soul being his, and his only. She runs her fingers through his hair, as if she was running lost in a maze but eventually never escaping the end. He pulls away for a little while, and his eyes meet hers. He holds his gaze onto hers, staring at those dark eyes blinking back at him high on might and adoration and lust, she feels so lost in him and the flow of his body she could inevitably combust. There is a longing to be something, she thinks, him to her, and she to his. The longing of a gaze, of a touch, of a kiss, that won’t be forgotten.
“I love you,” Robert murmurs, in an almost mournful tone, encrusted with broken promises and selfishness and the looming darkness of the future and an even deeper wish for reciprocation. “I always have, could it be the worst thing you’d ever heard repeatedly?”
Elizabeth blinks, once, twice, thrice, before a small smile forms and wheedles its way across her lips, as it stretches into a grin. “What makes you think that?” she asks, truth staining her lips, caressing his cheeks. “You know you are everything to me.” They both laugh, he presses a kiss onto her forehead, and arms locks their arms around each other.
They remain there for the rest of the night, and wine by their side. With drunken conversations and catching up with life, he’d accidentally splash the drink on her dress. Robert looked a bit distraught, but Elizabeth pressed her fingers to his lips, assuring him that everything about this time of theirs was nothing maddening. It reminded him of how it all used to be, and God did it feel great for them to be this way again.
As they both fell asleep a little later, his face remained in her dream— to Elizabeth this was either a blessing or a curse, depending on the state she was in with Robert. At times she couldn’t figure out which one it was. But one thing was for sure, it was naturally all encompassing, the manner of how he was always bouncing back to her life this way, like the patterns of stars they’d once tried to memorise being made in the sky.
His stars, their midnights, her prayer.