Chapter Text
Viserra Targaryen had always felt estranged from the rest of her family, it was as if she was standing on the sideline as her family lived their lives. Her brothers and Sisters strived at court in happy marriages or were doted upon by her parents and each other, while she was forgotten.
And so she went on about her life having the burden of being a princess on her back, like a constant reminder screaming in her ears, one that at times also presented itself in the form of her mother, in the rare moments Queen Alysanne remembered viserra existed at least.
And although the young princess always strived to be perfect, she had found few people actually cared, most of them acknowledge her for her beauty everything else didn’t matter.
Even her septa Lyra said so „You are the most beautiful out of all your mothers daughters, you shall marry well and your lord husband can brag about you to all the other Lords“ She had told her a few years ago on Viserra’s eight name day, it was the day her brother Baelon had crowned her the Queen of Love and Beauty for the very first time at a Tournament he had only won for her or so he said at the time.
She had been crowned the queen of love and beauty many times before and after that day but the memory of Baelon placing the beautiful flower crown on her head, still lingered in her mind at all times.
But Baelon’s attention wasn’t as much on her as she would like, so ever since that fateful she has been trying to recreate that feeling he had given her that day, the one that made her feel loved and cared for, it was the only time she had ever felt that way but as much as she tried to recreate it, it wouldn’t come back.
„Well then go on“ the princess said calmly while looking at the lording infront of her.
A foolish boy who actually believed, she‘d give him her maidenhead when he climbed the tower of the hand and wave to her from the top.
The boy gave her one last unsure look before starting to climb up the massive tower and seat of septon Barth, a kind man who had often calmed her parents anger when she had done something she wasn’t supposed too.
A light wind breeze causes the dry autumn leave to fall from the trees and the princess tightened the shawl around her neck, winter will be here soon, something she dreads like many others who live in the stinking city of kingslanding, she was not made for cold.
She looked up once more, spying the foolish boy, who has not made it far yet and was obviously struggling to continue climbing the tower her oldest brother lived in.
Just moments before the young lording had bousted about how good of a climber he is and how impressed she would be.
Viserra of course knew she wouldn’t be, she never was, no matter if they claimed trees or buildings for her, she found it amusing yes but not impressive.
She had grown up watching her brothers compete in tourneys and go into battle alongside her father, she spend her entire childhood listening to the stories about how her father and brother had succeeded in battle times and times again.
Those things were impressive she thought, she always did so.
But the boys that prawn around her wouldn’t know anything about that.
„They smell of summertime and greengras, not one of them has ever done anything of importance, do not let them fool you into doing something stupid.“ her older brother Baelon had told her once and she wouldn’t.
She saw what happened to her sister, Saera, her beloved sister who always comforted her in her time of need, who made her laugh during the boring lessons every princess must endure, the one who was once the king’s favorite and now lived in a mother house, with a shaved head and a father that won‘t even utter her name.
Viserra would never openly admit it, for she was to proud but it scared her how easily you could fall when your on top of the world.
„Have you already lost interest in him?“ she suddenly hears a familiar voice behind her.
She turns on her heels and gives the woman her best curtsy.
„Your grace“ is all she can say before her Mother yells to the little boy to come down and disappear, she doesn’t scold him, she never scolded the boys Viserra played of against one another.
„I have seen how foolish boys can be all my life but I have never seen a girl who encouraged it as much as you do, dear daughter.“
The good Queen had once told her in a tone that sounded so disappointed, the princess was sure she would go to bed without supper that day.
She didn’t.
Her Mother didn’t have the heart to punish her in a way that was harsher than a scolding.
Something she was thankful for, only in secret of course.
Another harsh wind blows through the gardens, rederacting the princesses attention back to her Mother.
Her royal mother looks down on her with a disapproving look that the young girl already knows well.
Her Mothers expression softenes though, it always does.
Viserra often wondered if her mother loved her, she hoped she did but she was never quite sure. There were moments were her mother looked at her with a certain indifference that the princess was sure her mother had no feelings for her at all, a theory that got supported by the fact that until a few moons ago the queen never seeked viserra out, she didn’t start a conversation with her at dinner, she didn’t check on her during her lessons despite doing it for Gael and viserra was not sure if her mother had ever uttered the words „I love you“ to her.
Viserra had tried to be as close to the queen as her siblings. She tried being smart like Maegaelle, brave like Alyssa and shy and timid like Gael and Daella but her mother hadn’t cared so viserra stoped caring as well.
That was until a few moons ago when the Queen suddenly interrupted one of her lessons with septa Lyra, ever since that day the two of them talked regularly, although there estrangement became obvious when her mother had asked her what her favorite color was, viserra still enjoyed it, especially the gifts the queen gave to her, beautiful silks, expensive perfumes..
There was still a part of her that was suspicious of the attention but she would never decline a gift even one that was perhaps given out of guilt. Having her mothers attention felt similarly to the feeling Baelon had given her, but not the same.
„Your septa informed me you were missing from your lessons again“ the Queen spoke finally.
„perhaps if the lessons would be more interesting, I wouldn’t have to flee them.“ she snarked back in response.
They had this conversation before and it always lead to the same outcome
„your ten and one already, you will flower soon, the lessons might be boring and tiresome but they are important and you must start taking them seriously.“
Gods she has heard that to often now.
The princess looked up to her mother waiting for the storm of words to come her way, but it doesn’t.
Her Mother only looks at her with an expression, Viserra can‘t identify, before she sighed deeply and kneeled down to be at eye level with her daughter.
The young girl can’t help but feel startled, her mother has never kneeled in the dirt before, at least not infront of her.
She‘d only ever knew her Queenly Mother to carry herself with grace and always looking perfect,
In Viserra‘s mind her Mother was always perfect, she has a perfect face, perfect hair and perfect dresses.
She doesn’t now, her Mother’s dress got dirty and Viserra can’t help but to stare.
She feels a gentle hand guiding her face upwards, forcing her to look her mother directly into the eyes.
„I’ll tell you a secret sweet girl, when I was your age I found some of my lessons dull as well, you know, but I went to each and every one of them regardless because I knew that I would need them some day and I do, I even go as far as to say it’s why I’m now so secure in my position as Queen.“ her mother told her with the warm smile.
Viserra believed her but her mothers secret did not persuaded her to return to her lessons, they didn’t feel like they used to without saera.
The princess consideres telling her mother the real reason for her absence lately but she doesn’t, it wouldn’t do anything, her father was the one holding the power and he would never let saera come back. So she goes with another method. She knows it would be easier to just agree with the Queen immediately but Viserra loved to argue even when there is no need for it, something she’s often been scolded for.
„I‘ll never be a Queen.“ she said after some silence. The Queens smile becomes a little brighter after that.
„No you won’t but you‘ll one day be a lady, in charge of the household you‘ll lead alongside your husband.“ The Queen spoke softly while clipping a strand of lose hair behind her daughters ear.
Viserra can’t argue on that, marrying one of the lords of Westeros has always been her future, she had been trained for it ever since she was small, She can recall endless lessons about how to be a good wife and lady.
Marriage was a scary thought to viserra, it always was but ever since the passing of her sweet sister Daella it became even scary.
You marry, you get pregnant and you die. Was that all a woman can do in her life?
Her eyes found the ground unsure of what to say, which gained her one of her Mother’s hugs, a warm feeling Spread in her body, she loved her Mothers hugs more than she liked to admit. The first time she got one, a couple of weeks ago made her shed a tear, a secret one no one had seen but a tear nonetheless.
„there is no use in going now“ her mother whispered in her ear „how about you and I spent some time together“ The Queen proposed and the princess eagerly agreed.
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It was nearly time for supper when Viserra departed from her Mother to ready herself.
She had a pleasant day even though her mother scolded her for telling that boy to clime up the Tower of the hand and made her promise to not do it again, she did knowing she was lying through her teeth.
On her way to the dining hall, she stopped by her sister Alyssa‘s chamber that she shared with their brother Baelon.
In the gardens the Good Queen had plugged a Flower and shown it to her daughter, an ugly thing in Viserra‘s opinion but she didn’t voice her thought out loud.
„It’s Alyssa‘s favorite“ the Queen sighed with a sad expression upon her face.
Alyssa was currently recovering from a hard and difficult labor and the Queen had been very worried though she never said anything to her second youngest daughter, Viserra could sense it.
„You should bring it to her, I’m sure she’d be happy to see it, she couldn’t leave her room in the last few months“ her mother said while placing the flower in Viserra palm.
She wanted to ask her mother why she didn’t simply go herself but she didn’t something inside her told her not too.
She entered the room carefully after her gentle knock was answered with a simple yes and made quiet and slow steps towards her sisters bed, she hated being here the room smelled like something Viserra couldn’t place and the atmosphere was always sad no matter how much Alyssa japed and told everyone she was fine.
„sister“ was all she got as a greeting, Viserra wasn’t mad at it she knew her sister was exhausted still and even before she never enjoyed „dumb pleasantries“ as she called them.
The young princess held the flower high while going closer to her sisters bed.
„Mother found this, she said it is your favorite“
Alyssa let out an amused snort
„she send you to bring this.“ her older sister observed while looking at the flower that was now in her hand.
„She has been avoiding seeing me just like Vaegon avoides girls“ the older girl jokes than.
Viserra dose not know what to say so she holds her tounge, her and Alyssa have never been close, they were to different and Viserra always felt as though her sister didn’t like her very much.
„How are you?“ she asks instead hoping her sister would be serious about this, which she of course is not.
„Never been better, I think I’ll mount my lovely Baelon tonight in hopes of becoming pregnant again, a fourth son wouldn’t that be nice.“ Alyssa laughed.
Viserra couldn’t laugh she didn’t think her sister would ever be pregnant again, her skin was pale and her body weaker than it ever was, if the gods are good they let her older sister survive this winter but Viserra doubts it.
„I‘ll be fine, I was always the strongest, remember“ her sister had noticed her gloomy expression, she has never been this soft spoken before. Viserra finds she rather enjoys it, though she doesn’t belive her sister when she says she‘ll be fine.
They sit there for a moment before Baleon and their Father come through the door rather hastily.
The King smiled at the sight before him.
He hasn’t smiled a lot these past few moons.
„He faces many great challenges each day and is responsible for a lot of lives, that’s a kings burden“ Aemon had once offered her as an explanation.
„Your mother is waiting in the dining hall Viserra, go to her, we’ll join you shortly.“ the king spoke still smiling and she does as he commands, she may love to argue but she‘d never do it with him.