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Audrey looked at Siegfried as he handed her a generous tumbler of whiskey. “The good stuff Mr Farnon, you spoil me.” She said with a rueful half smile.
“You deserve it my dear. I'm not sure what's happened today and I don't expect you to tell me but I have a feeling that you need a little spoiling.” Siegfried said carefully as he took his armchair next to hers, his own glass in hand.
Audrey sighed heavily. She had felt out of sorts all day, ever since the letter arrived. It had played on her mind all day, she knew it word for word but she hadn't figured what it all meant.
“What gave it away?”
“The countless smells coming from the kitchen. I think you've pickled enough eggs to last Helen this pregnancy and the next.” He chuckled. Siegfried had been in and out of surgery all day and each time he passed the kitchen a new smell assaulted his senses as did the distinctive sound of Audrey wielding her knife.
“I'll give the shortbread away then.” Audrey turned to smile at him, grateful for his presence.
“Oh I never said your distractions wouldn't be appreciated, but when you need a distraction you throw yourself into your craft Mrs Hall. So.” Siegfried simply raised his whiskey glass to show that his justification for the ‘good stuff’ had been made.
Audrey took a moment to just look at him. He knew her so well, sometimes she forgot just how much. He was her best friend yet they were still employer and employee, something that the letter had pointed out. Since she decided to stay, Audrey felt a shift in her relationship with Siegfried, she felt like they had opened up their hearts a bit more. Shared their deep rooted honesty of how this was their home, their family. Audrey felt like she could tell him anything and be listened to, heard and receive the right response. He always seemed to know what she needed. Yet they were still Mr Farnon and Mrs Hall.
With another ship of ‘the good stuff’ Audrey rested her head back and opened her heart again. “I received a letter from Gerald today.” Audrey pulled the single sheet of paper from her cardigan pocket and held it up.
“He finally replied then.” Audrey sensed the slight annoyance in his voice and she couldn’t hold it against him. It had been over 4 months since Gerald had left for the lakes and just under 4 months since Audrey wrote to him. She had written a month after that asking after his sister's health and then a card at Christmas but received no response to any of them. Siegfried knew she held some unfounded guilt for the way things ended, but no matter what Siegfried or Helen said Audrey felt like she had failed someone else, another name to her list.
“Hmmm, yes.”
“What does he say? You don't have to tell me but it seems to be weighing on you. I'd like to ease your burden if possible.”
“He got married.” Audrey chuckled.
Siegfried coughed on his ill-timed sip “What?!”
Audrey reached to pat his back but was quickly waved away, “He's married? When? How? To whom?”
“Yes married. Just after Christmas by all accounts. The ‘how’ seems to be they met at work, he said the bank is bigger and busy and they met when he started. The who, her name is Ethel, and is by all accounts the love of his life.”
Siegfried took a moment to watch as Audrey read the letter, he tried desperately to understand the emotions that washed over her face.
“How do you feel?”
“Glad for the ‘good stuff’.” Audrey responded as she took a large sip, hissing slightly as it burnt going down.
Siegfried hesitated before his next question.“Do you regret your decision?” It was a question that kept him up at night. He feared one day he would come downstairs to Audrey leaving again.
“No! God no, Mr Farnon I'm glad I stayed. This is my home, my family is here and I think that's why I'm out of sorts. I nearly left. I nearly married a man who I didn't love with my whole heart. I nearly lost my family for a man who couldn't bother to reply to my letter. I feel quite foolish to be honest.” Audrey sighed.
“Please don't, you are the least foolish person I know Mrs Hall.” Siegfried reached out to grasp her hand that rested on the arm of her chair. Squeezing it affectionately, Siegfried caught her eye.“He wasn't kind not to write to you sooner. You didn't do anything wrong, you didn't deserve that. You deserve to be treasured.”
“That's not all he wrote.” Audrey smiled and passed the letter over. “Last section.”
I hope that Mr Farnon lives up to everything you deserve Audrey. I hope he is more than your employer by now, you are far more to each other than some employment agreement. I expected news of your wedding before mine if I'm honest. Mrs Audrey Farnon has a nice ring to it. You were always the lady of Skeldale, I just never wanted to admit it. I wish you well Audrey, above all I wish you true and honest love.
Siegfried read the words then looked at Audrey who was staring into her now empty glass then back at the letter.
“You…really…”
“I've felt out of sorts all day because everything fell into place when I read this letter. I don't feel guilty anymore, I'm happy for Gerald. Happy he has found someone who can love him. Everyone deserves to be loved, don't you agree Siegfried?” Audrey spoke carefully as she said his Christian name. She said it so rarely that it felt like a gift to say it.
“Yes Audrey, I agree.” Audrey's heart stuttered as her own name fell from his lips. It was said with such love that she was sure she could warm the coldest place on earth with the warmth it caused in her heart and soul.
Audrey chuckled with relief, “This really is the ‘good stuff’.” Siegfried stood and held out his hand requesting her to join him. Once standing Siegfried brushed the back of hand across Audrey’s blushing cheeks, “It is nothing compared to the goodness in you my dear. The good stuff is only good because you are in my life, with you everything is the good stuff.” Audrey leant into Siegfried's hand, capturing it and holding it to her cheek. Siegfried ran his thumb gently over her soft, delicate cheek just brushing the edge of her lips.
“Is it true? What Gerald wrote? Do you…could you?” Siegfried's eyes flooded with hope, love, vulnerability.
“I didn't know how much I love you until I read Gerald's letter and realised that was what I wanted. To be more than employer and employee, more than friends, I want to be your wife. I want to be yours and for you to be mine.” Audrey couldn't stop the silent tears of joy from escaping, being touched by him in such an adoring way made everything feel real. Siegfried gently brushed the tears away and took a step closer.
“I want that too, more than anything. I love you Audrey.” Siegfried smiled, his own tears glistening his eyes. “You're my everything. My home. My family. My love. I would be honoured to be your husband but I want to do it properly.” Audrey looked at him quizzically.
“I want to get down on one knee, with a ring, ask for your hand in marriage in a way that will take your breath away. I’m old fashioned like that.” he chuckled. “And I will. I will but right now I would very much like to kiss you and call you mine from now and forever more.”
“Please”
They stepped closer and two bodies, minds, souls and hearts became one in that moment as lips touched for the very first time. The taste of ‘the good stuff’ lingering in their lips and tongues but the true good stuff laid ahead of them.