Chapter Text
You and Joel were sitting in his four-seat sofa, about 18 inches apart. This distance was considered social space and you had never dared to close it, fearing that you would make him uncomfortable.
It was different when you went for a jog together. Those slow runs gave you an adrenaline rush and released tension in your muscles. Joel also looked more relaxed during your running sessions. He would stroke your back or your arm as both of you traded jokes o made a pause to catch your breath.
Coming over to his place and sitting in his sofa felt different, even though you always left before the sun set. Joel lived alone on the outskirts of the town, near the woods. His house was big; you liked it. Dark wood furniture, stone fireplaces and large windows. It was often silent. Joel had a TV, but he’d admitted that he only turned it on when you watched movies together.
Today he had rented a sci-fi movie at the video store. You weren’t very familiar with sci-fi movies or books, but Joel had said that he thought you’d like this one. The summary sounded good. It was a feel-good space adventure, and the main characters were a man and his adoptive child.
“Wait, I got you something,” you said before he opened the case. You bent over to pull a wrapped package out of your bag. You had butterflies in your stomach when you looked back at Joel. It was the first time you bought something for him. “I hope you like it.”
“A gift?” His eyes lit up.
The sleeves of his sweater were rolled up to his elbows. He was tall and broad, with dark brown eyes and streaks of silver hair in his head and stubble. He was handsome.
He leaned in and took the package from your hands. His thumbs brushed against your fingers, and you stopped breathing for a moment. It was the first time he touched your hands. You averted your gaze, feeling like you were entering a new territory.
His hands were big and dexterous, used to lifting heavy weights and doing meticulous crafts. He worked as a carpenter with his brother Tommy.
Last year, they built you a headboard and a bookshelf. That was how you had met them. You came from a big city. You had chosen this place because of its slow living lifestyle and close-knit community. You still didn’t feel part of the community, but you knew those things took time. The dwellers of this time were wary of strangers, and Joel wasn’t an exception.
On his last birthday you weren’t well-acquainted with him. You had learned it was his birthday by chance, as you ran into him at the grocery store. It had been shortly after he and Tommy built you the headboard and bookshelf. You had wished him a happy birthday, and he had murmured a thank you and given you a polite nod.
It had been only four months since you had first gone for a jog together, and two months since he had first invited you over to his place.
“Will you give me a clue?” Joel’s voice pulled you from your thoughts.
You glanced at him. He was still holding the wrapped package in his hands, and now there was a flicker of excitement in his eyes.
You didn’t want him to expect something huge. He would be disappointed.
“It’s just something practical. I got the idea the last time I visited your workshop.”
He flashed you a grin. “My workshop, uhmm? So it’s something related to my job. Is this the keys to a new trunk?”
“Sure,” you laughed. “Keep dreaming.”
You couldn’t even afford to buy a used motorbike.
His lips twitched. “Shame.”
Your eyes fell upon the nearest window as he unwrapped the gift. You wanted to give him some privacy, in case he didn’t like the gift and tried to mask his disappointment.
Winter was around the corner. You could see the moisture condensed in the glass windows. The maples and oaks had already lost their leaves. Recently in your morning walks you had seen the tree branches and shrubs covered in frost.
There was something magical in cozying up with a cup of hot chocolate or tea and watching a period drama o reading a novel. You also loved wearing cozy sweaters and sheep fur boots.
His voice interrupted your thoughts again:
“A wood chisel set.”
You risked a glance at him. Joel was looking down at the box. You couldn’t see his gaze, but you could see his right hand running along the different carving tools.
“It’s just a modest chisel box,” you said.
He turned his head and looked at you. Raw emotions sparked in his eyes. You had never seen that expression on his face.
He moved closer to you. His right knee brushed against your leg, and your heart skipped a beat. He didn’t move. The social space had vanished. This was personal space.
His voice sounded a little raspy. “It’s perfect.”
You swallowed, not knowing where to look. Your gift wasn’t anything special, but it had moved him.
You looked down at the box in his hands and swallowed again. “I’m… I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it.” He set it down on the end table with care.
You took a deep breath. Okay, now things would go back to normal. You would watch the movie together, each one on either side of the sofa, and he would take you home afterwards. It was not like you didn’t want things to change, but you were afraid of ruining your friendship.
Joel pulled the movie out of the case, oblivious to your thoughts. The hem of his sweater flipped up as he put it on the DVD and pressed the play button, revealing his back. You averted your gaze; you didn’t want him to catch you staring.
“Alright, the movie is about to start,” he said. His knee touched your leg again when he placed the case on the end table.
You could feel the warmth of his body through the clothes. You didn’t dare to move. You heart was hammering in your chest, and you felt a tingling sensation in your belly. You wanted to cuddle up to him. It would easy, you would just have to lean a little closer to him.
You didn’t dare to do so.
You waited for him to say something to make you laugh and then return to his side of the sofa.
Instead, he put his aright arm around the back of the sofa and looked at you, his expression soft. His eyes were the colour of coffee beans. You had never stared into his eyes for so long. There was something comforting, something peaceful in them.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his tone gentle.
You nodded, not trusting your own voice when he was this close.
You heard the opening intro of the movie. You didn’t know if you were glad that the movie was about to start or if you were disappointed.
Joel flashed you a charming smile. “Don’t fall asleep.”
You gave him a light tap on the shoulder, rolling your eyes, and he laughed.
His laughter was one of your favourite sounds in the world.