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Cody, the newly elected Vod'alor of Kamino stared at the "gift" his most unique vod, Omega, had helped prepare for his Ridd'alor and felt his soul nearly depart his body. He should never have mentioned in the presence of Nala Se's former lab assistant that Obi-wan had a pair of padawan in the future that ceased to exist because Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala were "removed from circulation".
"So what do you think?"
"Do you think he'll like it?"
"Do you think he'll be surprised?"
The Bad Bad Batch looked so hopeful. Boba who'd been hanging out with them radiated smug triumph.
Little karker.
Omega and her batch started to droop when Cody and the Clone Commanders didn't appear as overjoyed at the Vod's newest additions.
Cody forced himself to smile and choked out, "I'm sure he'll be very very surprised, vod'ika. But really you should have asked first."
Kriff!
Obi-wan Kenobi was going to lose his shit. The Jedi High Council was going to lose its collective shit...well, probably not Yoda. The wee green cackling troll would probably be utterly thrilled thrilled to have more grand-padawans.
Cody tried not to hyperventilate while his vision grayed and went spotty.
Omega was saying, "I knew it was entirely possible because of the success the Kaminoans had with Starkiller line of clones-"
Alpha 17 interrupted, "Who is that? I don't know that designation."
Boba told them, "Kaminoans collected genetic material from the Jedi during the war so they could make an army of upgraded clones. Clones that were Force Sensitive."
Omega helpfully added, "We think Darth Sidious was inspired by the successes of Dr Antos Wyrick during the Mandalorian Neo Crusade."
Cody and the other Clone Commanders and Alphas blue screened.
'Dank farrik! She was talking about Doctor Kriffing Demogol!'
"What the kriff! How the kark did we miss that!?"
"During the war the Senate required all Jedi to be treated at the Kaliida Shoals Medical Center which was overseen by Kamino...what the kark did you think they were doing?"
Okay, in hindsight, that seemed pretty embarrassingly obvious....but didn't explain why Boba Fett, of all people, had egged on their sister to clone Anakin Darth-Kriffing-Traitor Skywalker's kids!
~~~~
Lars Homestead, Great Chott salt flat, Jundland Wastes, near Anchorhead on Tatooine:
Beru and Owen held the babies that Jedi Master Nico Diath and Jedi Master A'Sharad Hett had brought into the pourcrete home of the Lars Family. Cliegg Lars stared nervously at the Tuskan man and shuffled through the basket of belongings and credit chips that came with them.
"What did you say their names were again?"
Outside Padawan Tae Diath and some members of the Hett Clan were milling around waiting for their people to complete his business.
"Luuke and Leeia"
Royal Palace of Alderaan, Bail Organa's office, Capitol City of Aldera:
Bail Prestor Organa leaned over the hover pram and stared at the giggly baby boy named Luuuke while Queen Breha rocked the solemn baby girl named Leiaaa in her arms.
He looked up at Senator Binks, "So...the names...are they non-negotiable?"
Green Jedi Enclave, Corellian Branch Temple, Ahch-To, Unknown Regions:
The Lanai crèchemaster stared into the bassinette and then up to the large Wookie and the human child sitting on his shoulders.
"Er, the twins certainly are blessed in vigor and health but their names....surely that is much less of a blessing. Are you sure that's what the parents named them?"
Chewbacca, son of Attichitcuk, shuffled his feet and looked sheepish and yodeled softly in Shyriiwook, "Er, yes? Is there something wrong?"
"Father, those names are silly", interjected Chewie's youngest child, also in Shyriiwook, the youngling Guun Han Solo (descended from the legendary Jedi Knight Guun Han Saresh a fact which is utterly unimportant since he inherited none of his ancestors talents).
"Now son...we've discussed Cultural Relativism before", gently scolded the Wookie.
"Yes, father, I know!" sighed his newly adopted son. The sweet child had been abducted from the original Corellian Temple by pirates while on an Exploracorp Initiate outing. Fortunately the boy, like the Wookie, had been liberated by the Kaminoan Mercenary Corp.
Concordia, Outer Rim Territories, Mandalore system:
The Armorer of The Tribe peered down into the armored cradle that had been delivered with the Foundling twins.
"They may be blessed by the Ka'ra. One day they might make fine Armorers or Beroya. Since sufficient funds were donated to us for foundlings, we can accept them into our covert....what are they called?"
Din Djarin stood between his adoptive Buir and his birth Buir'e, who had come from Aq Vetina to negotiate with The Children of the Watch for security contract .
Din's Mando buir shrugged and said, "We were told it was Luuuuuke and Leiiiiia by the eyayah'adate who asked us to deliver them to you."
"Do you mean Luke and Leia?" asked young Paz while he tickled the bottom of baby Leiiiiia's foot.
"We asked that as well and were told they were definitely not Luke and Leia", replied Din's father.
The Mando that had been adopted by the Din family on the trip over spoke up, "A name change is not that unusual when a foundling finds a new home."
Din's mother looked a bit relieved, "That's probably for the best."
Singing Mountain Range, Singing Mountain Clan Village, Dathomir, Northern Continent:
Augwynne Djo, warmaster of the Singing Mountain Clan peered down at the infant girl in her arms. The child would make a fine companion for her granddaughters.
Jedi Master Ky Narec held the boy child up her inspection. 'Hmm, a cute little thing.'
"Fine. An alliance with the Jedi Order and the Vod'yaim sealed with the future marriage of these two children into our Clan."
"We agree only if you forgo the tradition of killing your mate."
The warmaster snorted and said, "Fine. He can retire to our Nightbrother village as a Hunt Father."
Knight Asajj Ventress looked a bit uncomfortable. Arranging a political marriage for babies seemed absurd. She didn't look forward to the next nineteen years playing nanny on Dathomir to a couple of babies but she was glad she and Master Narec weren't abandoning the poor helpless things to the Nightsisters to raise alone.
Tosh, herd-mother of the sentient Rancor Mountain Tribe signed, "What are their names?"
"Luuuuuu-"
"No", snapped Madam Djo as she glared at them. "Do not finish that if you want to leave here with your limbs intact!"
~~~~
Boba Fett, Daimyo of Liberated Tatooine, flopped across his newly re-acquired throne of his newly re-acquired palace.
Many of the dechipped Vod'e had chosen to fight in the Galactic Republic's civil war...again. They would be paid handsomely for it too this go-around.
A solid third, unknown to the greater Galaxy, were raising tubies and cadets and building a new home world for the clones and Jedi Order outside Republic Space.
Others, like those who'd turned traitor (Slick) or deserted (Cut Lawquane) decided to join Boba on Tatooine.
Their older brothers would periodically rotate through babysitting duty making sure that Boba Fett and the Solus'Vod were behaving themselves.
The death of Jabba the Hutt this go-around wasn't as entertaining like his previous death at the hands of a bikini-clad Princess Leia.
'Blasters', he sighed to himself. 'Were so much more efficient!'
Clones and bounty hunters milled around while the B'omarr monks scuttled around their feet.
Boba sighed again and slurrped his pallie fruit smoothie, 'Efficient but messier and smellier than autoerotic asphyxiation.'
Ah well, nothing was perfect.
Jabba's corpse had been tipped into Boba's old friend the Sarlacc pit along with a few other nuisances like the Pyke Syndicate by the newly reformed Fett Gotra.
It had been rather a surprise finding out that Jabba's palace (now Boba's palace) used to be a B'omarr Order Monastery....and Jabba had left the monks locked up in the wine cellar which used to be the crypt.
Fennac Shand had accidentally sprung them from durance vile when they were clearing the palace of Jabba's loyalists.
The B'omarr species was listed as extinct in the Jedi archives. Killed off millennia ago by the Nal Hutta empire during their expansion phase.
And to a certain degree that was true. B'omarr monks removed their brains from their bodies and placed them in nutrient jars so as not to be distracted by worldly pleasures. Abbots roamed serenely around in on four spidery legs while the lower ranked monks scuttled along in six-legged spider droids. Their youngest postulants zipped about like a centipede.
'Bib Fortuna must have turfed them out after Jabba's death', mused Boba. He wondered why. The monks were weird looking but harmless. 'Luke would have upgraded their little legs for them and pestered them about teaching his padawans history. Din's womp rat would have tried to eat them.'
"Peggat for your thoughts", asked Fordo.
"I was just thinking about lost loves."
"You? You have a lost love!?" Alpha 17 sniped his brother.
Boba glared at Alpha 17. "Of course I kriffing did! Why the kriff did you think I tried to clone Skywalker's kid?"
Other clones started drifting closer. This was some hot gossip. They couldn't wait to spread it amongst their vod.
"Wait, the same guy that threw you into the Sarlaac pit!"
"That wasn't him. That was Han Solo, his brother-in-law."
"You hooked up with a Jedi? Boba, what would the Prime say!", tutted Thorn.
"Skywalker's kid wasn't an official Jedi. Around here he was better known as the disaster magnet farm boy who blew up the Death Star twice. General Organa was known as the Hutt-slayer. General Kenobi was a crazy hermit sand wizard."
Alpha 17 choked on his spotchka. "Sand wizard?"
"Crazy hermit?" wheezed Thire.
"Crazy. Hermit. Sand wizard", confirmed their vod. "He was a local legend."
"So that's why you wanted Skywalker's spawn? He was your boyfriend?"
"A gentleman never kisses and tells. He was a bosom companion. One of several."
This got hoots of laughter and shouts of 'Oya, vod'ika! Romancing the gentlebeings!'
Boba glared at them. "What? You think I'm so di'kutla that I can't get someone? Am I one of Nulls?" Haran!
"Peace, vod'ika, it's just hard to picture you as a sauvé grown-up romancing the gentlebeings."
"Humph! I'll have you know I had plenty of offers!"
"So who was your other 'bosom companions'? Why didn't you try to clone them too?"
"They are alive and well and they are going to stay that way."
"Ah, you're pretty soft in your old age, Big Brother", ribbed Thorn.
"So the Nulls were unlucky in love?"
Boba snorts, "Ordo got married but the other Nulls weren't. Skirata's other clone sons had families but I wouldn't call them lucky. They all died. Some of them didn't even make it the Night of a Thousand Tears!"
Fordo was frowning, "You've been pretty down on Skirata's boys. You told Cody to keep them locked up with the rest of the Cuy'val Dar and banned them from stepping foot on Tatooine if they ever got out, why?"
Boba huffed and slouched back further into his throne. "That's classified and probably won't be declassified until we're all old and dead."
***
In a single night, the clones had overthrown both the Kaminoans and the trainers and Prime. The members of the Cuy'val Dar that had survived the night were locked up in detainment cells in Tipoca City.
Kal Skirata's clone sons, the Nulls, Jaing, Kom'rk, Mereel, Ordo, Prudii, were bundled into a cell along with him. They were soon joined by Alpha-Ø2 aka "Spar" and Alpha-3Ø aka "Sull", the RCs, Niner, Fi, Darman, and Atin, and Clone Trooper "Corr".
Boba Fett loitered outside Jango's cell watching him pace back and forth. Why was he, of all people, allowed to roam free? Shouldn't he be trying to liberate Jango, his father?
Jango began to rant that Boba wasn't the real Boba. The clones were trying to trick him. His real son would never turn on him like this!
"Buir, I love you but you need help. I'm not going to help you commit genocide or help the Sith conquer the galaxy."
Jango looked wild-eyed, "You aren't my son. My son would never do this."
Boba sighed and summoned over one of the medics who darted Jango with a sedative.
Jango was still rambling about Changelings as he slid to the floor.
The Jedi, Kenobi, who spoke Mand'oa with a Sundari accent, patted Boba on the back awkwardly and the clones guarding them began to lead him past the cells to the door.
The Cuy'val Dar began to shout at him:
"How can you go along with this, Boba?"
"How can you turn on your father?"
"Why are you turning traitor? Are you really your father's son?"
"How can you sell your father out to the Jedi?"
Boba stops and turns to them and said, "If you want to know how cozying up to the Sith ends, then I suggest you have a good long talk with Skirata's son."
"Boba, how can you abandon your buir!? He loves you!", Spar demanded.
"I'm not going to abandon him but I refuse to help him turn our brothers into Meat Droids! Or hand an empire over to the Sith!"
"Help? You can't actually think they'll help Jango?", Kal'buir asked incredulously.
"Why not? They helped my Aunt Arla. They believe in reformation and restitution, not retribution. They'll confine him and require him to attend therapy."
"You...you little backstabbing kriffer! I can't believe we shared Ko Sai's cure with you!" yelled Mereel Skirata.
"When we get out-"
"You won't be getting out. For your own good, I recommend you tell The Vod'e what they need to know and take whatever prison sentence they offer you. They won't immediately seek revenge since the Jedi are a moderating influence but that won't last long."
"I want to save Etain too but turning on Buir-", Darman Skirata started to say but Boba cut him off.
"You were with Imperial commando squad 40, weren't you?"
"What?"
"After Order 66 went down, you and Niner fought the Battle of Coruscant, didn't you?"
"Yes, but-"
"The other Skiratas fled the city for Kyrimorut but you two stayed."
Everyone else had fallen silent. The Cuy'val Dar were starting to look nervous and panicky.
"We couldn't leave-"
"We were just following orders-"
"They were trapped behind enemy lines, Bob'ika!", Kal Skirata tried to defend his sons.
"You weren't turned into a meat droids, none of Kal'buir's clone sons were. Alpha and the Nulls, you could claim were never chipped by the Longnecks but half of you are commandos and troopers. Everyone else in your batch is chipped....why weren't you chipped when Order 66 went down?"
The Skirata sons realized exactly what Boba Fett was implying. About them. About Kal Skirata. About what the other trainers Jango Fett hired knew.
Kenobi had affixed his mask of serene composure in place, a sure sign he probably needed to destroy a training salle shortly, and the Vod'e clones were radiating killing intent.
"Other than Rex'ika, nobody other than Palpatine and Dooku supposedly knew the long necks put chips in our Vod's heads. That didn't come out to the general public for years and years after Order 66 and the Rebellion was under way."
Kal Skirata looked like death warmed over. The rest of the Cuy'val Dar looked like their pants needed changing. The Dar'vod looked like they just realized how utterly fucked they and Kal'buir were.
"Well, good jorhaa'ir. See you later", and Boba sauntered out of Tipoca City's prison.
****
"What do you mean Jango was right about you being a Changeling?" Cody, Vod'alor the First, felt a splitting migraine coming on.
"I'm not the original Boba Fett. I'm just the last Boba."
"You're also the one who was Boba Fett the longest", added Alpha 17.
"Wait, you know about this?"
"He used to be a Boba."
"How many Bobas are there and why the kark are you pretending to be him?"
"I'm not pretending. I've been Boba Fett my entire life."
"Original Boba was a perfect copy of Jango. Jango has allergies that not treated properly can result in anaphylaxis. Original Boba died as an infant when Jango was off running errands for Darth Dooku and Nala Se just handed him another Alpha tubie when Jango returned and he was none the wiser."
"Okay, so why did they replace that one?"
"Accident. Boba version 2.0 didn't learn to walk so much as he learned to run. One of the Nulls was supposed to be babysitting while Jango was off doing whatever and Boba version 2.0 escaped. That's where you got the scar on your face."
"What!"
"Alpha 99 aged too rapidly. I'm not sure if the Kaminoans reconditioned Buir or Darth Sidious pulled some dar'jetti osik and made him blind to the rapid change."
"I was next" volunteered Alpha 17. "Not for long. I'm too willful. And too large. They replaced me with Spar, who thinks he has Jango's memories. They karked up his reconditioning. Spar had behavioral problems."
"Then came me. I only have one memory from before I was Boba. I used to have weird dreams about it. I wasn't reconditioned. I was a tubie when they dressed me in Boba's clothes and handed me off to Jango. I was Boba ever since that day."
"Wait, I need to hear more! I was Boba Fett? I was reconditioned?"
"You were a Boba. I'm Boba Fett now. The one and only."