John Crocker: Consider your SISTER.

Your name is John Crocker, you're thirteen years old, and you think your older sister might be dead.

You've brought up this theory to a few friends already. Your friend DAVE just said that you need to lay off the ecto-kool, and then you got into an argument about the correct spelling of Ecto Cooler. It was pretty fun, but not the most productive.

Your friend JADE said that it was possible your older sister was dead, and suggested seeing if you could stitch up her body. You made a gross-out face in the chat, and then said that you don't think she has one anymore. She then suggested building a robot to house her spirit in, but the thought of using one of your GREAT-GRANDMA'S DRONES for that purpose really freaked you out.

Your older sister isn't very associated with the color red, in your head.

Your friend ROSE had a helpful suggestion, for her definition of helpfulness. She suggested performing an exorcism in your sister's room, to lay her spirit to rest. While you're glad for the advice (it seemed to you like Rose did genuinely believe you when you said your sister is dead), you don't want to exorcize your sister.

You just want her back.

It was at that point that Rose's older sister had walked into her room, stolen her computer, and suggested you spear her with a 2x3dent to "make S)(OR-E she's dead."

You don't like MEENAH's suggestions very much at all.

You asked your DAD what he thought about the situation. He took off his hat and stroked his clean beard and then told you that he was pretty sure that ghosts weren't real, and so everything was okay.

You choose to not believe him. You want ghosts to be real.

Because if they're not real, then your sister really is --

You don't let yourself finish the thought.

Your dad seems to sense that something about his words upset you. And you ask, again, if your older sister is dead.

Your dad smiles at you. He says ARADIA is much tougher than she looks, champ. One MOSTLY FATAL MAILBOX EXPLOSION won't be enough to take her out -- she's got the Egbert constitution in her.

You ask what Egbert means, and your dad sheepishly scratches his head and changes the topic. Besides, he says. He thinks your sister is just depressed about life in general.

You look up at your dad.

Depressed?

Your dad says he thinks it's possible. Teenage girls tend to get depressed.

You think back to your sister.

You think back to how she barely talked to you, in the days after the explosion.

You think about how she had to deal with all of the weight of the Crocker company for so long, which is all under question given the brain injuries she (might) have gotten.

You think about what it must have been like to feel it all evaporate in heat and flame.

You think about
how you stood outside, where your mailbox once was

and looked into her room

and saw her floating.

And you nod at your dad.

You think you understand, now.

Your dad smiles at you, and kisses you on the head. He tells you to not worry about your sister too much today.

It's your birthday, after all. And your friends sent you gifts.

And there's a new video game you'd been meaning to try out.

---

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY, DELUXE DANCESTOR WORMHOLE NIGHTMARE EDITION.

CCG: OKAY.
CCG: HOLY FUCKING CHRISTFUCKING GLUBBALLS.
CCG: NOBODY SAY A FUCKING WORD.

PAST terminallyCapricious [PTC] 420 HOURS AGO responded to memo.

PTC: WhAt In ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg ShIt ArE wE mEaNt To Be NoT tAlKiNg AbOuT? :oO
CCG: JUST
CCG: A

CCG has set this memo to NO DOUBLES mode. Only one iteration of each user is permitted to write to this memo.

CCG has set this memo to IT'S JUST A REGULAR FUCKING CHATROOM, DIPSHITS mode. Only iterations of each user contemporaneous to CCG can join this memo. Users who have already joined (PTC) will not be kicked.

CCG: THERE.
CCG: FUCKING CHRIST.

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] changed their chumhandle to carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: OKAY.
CG: THIS IS AN IMPORTANT FUCKING ANNOUNCEMENT SO DON'T FUCKING WRITE BULLSHIT VANDALISM IN HERE.
CG: THE JIST IS.
CG: AS I'M SURE YOU'RE *ALL* TOO FUCKING AWARE.
CG: AFTER WE DEFEATED THE BLACK KING, ANOTHER SESSION FUCKING EXPLODED FROM WITHIN THE ORBS ON HIS SCEPTER.
CG: FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE WE EXPLODED FROM WITHIN *THEIR* SCEPTER.
CG: IT DOESN'T MATTER. TURNS OUT THOSE EXTRA GRUBS I FOUND? BACK IN THE VEIL? YEAH, THEY'RE THOSE GUYS. PLAYED SBURB. SCRATCHED THEIR SESSION TO MAKE US.

glamAureola [GA] responded to memo.

GA: I must co+mmend yo+u o+n yo+ur ecto+bio+lo+gical pro+wess, Grey Kankri.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned glamAureola [GA] from responding to memo.

CG: AND THEY'RE ALSO TOTAL FUCKING ASSHOLES, BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW FOR TROLLS.

timaeusTestified [TT] responded to memo.

TT: Hey, man.
TT: Some of us are mer-trolls.
TT: But like. Minus the mer-part.
TT: Just some fuckin' ears.
CG: I HATE YOU.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned timaeusTestified [TT] from responding to memo.

tipsyGlubstalgic [TG] responded to memo.

TG: U GLUBBIN KILLED DIRKIE
CG: AND WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I LISTEN TO THE FORMER MOIRAIL OF ERIDAN FUCKING AMPORA ON THIS TOPIC.

caligulasAquarium [CA] responded to memo.

CA: hey leavve her alone
CA: just because she fuckin dumped me for that no-good rustblood doesnt mean i cant respect her fuckin taste
CA: treat a coddamn fuschia wwith more respect karkat
CG: I HATE ALL OF YOU.
CG: I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH THAT I CAN'T EVEN BE FUCKED TO BAN YOU.
CG: FUCK.
CG: OKAY.
CG: I'M GOING TO KEEP TALKING.
GC: 1S TH1S TH3 P4RT WH3R3 YOU M3NT1ON TH3 HUM4NS >:O
CG: WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU JOIN THIS FUCKING MEMO????????
GC: S3T MY PROF1L3 TO S1L3NT >:]
CG: THAT'S A FEATURE? WHAT THE FUCK.
GC: 1F YOU G3T TO 4SK SOLLUX FOR 4LL SORTS OF R3STR1CT1ONS ON M3MOS TH3N 1 G3T TO H4V3 SN34KY MOD3 ON MY PROF1L3!!!!!!!
CG: I AM SO FUCKING DISTURBED RIGHT NOW.
CG: HOW MUCH OF MY OLDER SHIT HAVE YOU BEEN SIFTING THROUGH WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE?
GC: >:]

carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned gallowsCalibrator [GC] from memo.

gamersCalling [GC] responded to memo.

GC: h3y, uncool!!!! sh3's 4 sup3r cool r4d 4s fuck g4m3grl, why'd you b4n h3r?
CG: YOU COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned gamersCalling [GC] from memo.

CG: BUT YES.
CG: HUMANS.
CG: GOD MY FUCKING THINKPAN FEELS LIKE IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE
TG: i wish we had a life player :(
CG: I WISH THAT.
CG: EVERY FUCKING DAY.
CG: ALL THE FUCKING TIME. EVERY FUCKING DAY.
CG: GROANNNNNNNNN.

gutsyGulchgirl [GG] responded to memo.

GG: What, are my )(andmade cookies not enough for you?
CG: WE'RE NOT DOING THIS NOW, JANE.
CG: I'M CHOOSING TO NOT BLOCK YOU.
CG: BECAUSE WE ARE *FRIENDS.*
CG: UGH.
CG: I'M DONE. FUTURE ME TAKE OVER.

twinArmageddons [TA] responded to memo.

TA: you blocked future you from joiiniing thii2 2hiitty fuckiing niightmare.
CG: I DON'T FUCKING CARE ANYMORE.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned themself from the memo.

TG: welp
TG: uhm
GG: :B
GG: Mwwwwwah!
TG: ehehhehehe
TG: hiiiii janeie
TA: get a FUCKIING room.

golgothasTerror [GT] responded to memo.

GT: A room for what?
PTC: wHo MoThErFuCkIn KnOwS, wItH tHe K-mAn. hOnK :oD
TA: yeah that2 about enough of thii2.

twinArmageddons [TA] invoked admin privileges and closed the memo.