Chapter Text
Merlin awoke to a light knock at his door.
"Merlin I've made breakfast" it was Gaius, Merlin made a grunt of recognition, willing himself out of bed and into the cold of his room, redying himself for the day ahead.
"Morning Gaius" he greeted coming down the steps and into the main room. The old physician was sat at the table with two bowls of porridge set out in front of him, Giaus gave him a smile pushing a bowl towards merlin as he sat down.
"How did you sleep?" Gaius asked, he already knew the answer. Merlin hadn't slept properly since he'd killed Uther. despite Giaus's assurance that it wasn't his fault. every night was the same nightmare, Uther laying dead, and the look in Arthur's eyes, the hatred and betrayal. What was worse were Arthur's words playing in the back of his mind "it's pure evil.....I'll never lose sight of that again" he was talking about magic, specifically Merlins.
"Alright" Merlin lied shoving a spoon full of porridge into his mouth "better then last night" he added after the disapproving look Gaius had shot him. "I better go, the king can't wake up without my help" he stated before jumping to his feet and leaving before Gaius could pry anymore. 'King' that was something Merlin was glad he could call arthur.
He started to go about his usual duties picking up Arthur's breakfast and heading towards his chambers. Merlin stopped before Arthur's door, he never usually knocked but this week had been different. Every morning Merlin would knock and open the door to find Arthur grieving by the window, with a stern solemn face that reminded him all too much of Uther.
Merlin nocked and opened the door scanning the room for Arthur. he wasn't in bed or by the window so he looked around the rest of the chambers to find him sitting at his desk, head in his hands, and staring at a pile of papers. "Sire?" Merlin said placing Arthur's food down on a nearby table. Arthur looked up. it looked like he'd been crying, his eyes were slightly red, dark circles underneath them and his hair was all over the place. Merlin felt a piece of himself brake seeing him like this. "Arthur, how long have you been awake?"
"Since before the sun, I've organized a hunt in honor of our king" he paused. "late king" Athur corrected himself uncomfortably.
"Oh, shall I prepare your-"
"Stop that '' Arthur interrupted, Merlin looked at him confused. "stop being a useful servant..just be normal, this is a normal day, I want everything to be okay.... ok?
"Ok," Merlin smiled, trying to be reassuring.
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God's Merlin hated hunting, as he rode alongside Arthur he could tell that he was deep in thought. Merlin was just about to start complaining when A Crunch interrupted him and Arthur's hand flew up signaling everyone to stop. There was a second crunch.
"Who goes there? '' Arthur stated, as a person stumbled out of the underbrush, let out a sigh of relief, and fell to the forest floor.
Merlin and Arthur were the quickest to dismount rushing over to help them. as they got closer they could tell she was a young woman in a night dress caked in dirt and mud. She was still conscious just weak, exhortation taking over. "What's your name?" Arthur asked unclasping his cloak and draping it over her "what happened to you?"
"Dindrain" was all she could manage before passing out. By the time she regained consciousness they were already racing her towards Camelot on the front of percivals hoarse.
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Merlin was staring at the strange girl, laid out on Giaus's ble as he fussed over her, changing the bandages for the wounds on her feet she had no doubt gotten from running through the woods. It had been nearly four hours since they'd found her and she'd already started to recover, but Merlin couldn't shake this feeling of foreboding he'd had since they made it back to the city. it was sudden, washing over him like a wave of dread. Merlin had spent the last few hours trying to detect any kind of magic within this girl and couldn't find any, Dindrain was so completely plain, so why did he feel like this. She was the only new variable, surely this had something to do with her.
The door to the physicians chambers opened and Arthur walked into the room "How is she" he asked in a slightly hushed voice registering the sleeping girl.
"Recovering Sire, I have no doubt she'll be well soon" Gaius stated with a slight bow directed at the king.
Athur walked over to inspect the girl, his brows furrowed "How long has she been asleep?"
"she woke up and ate then went back to sleep Sire" Gaius responded.
"Did she say anything?" Arthur asked looking up to meet Giaus's eyes.
"She was kidnapped" Merlin said rising to stand near Arthur "she'd managed to escape through a tunnel"
"Did she say who took her?" Arthur questioned.
"No," giaus said "but she said he kept her and the others in a small keep"
Athur was silent for a second "How many others?" The two shrugged at Arthur, he knows what has to be done "Merlin ready the horses" Arthur said, still watching dindrain carefully.
"We don't even know where this place is, we should wait until she's well enough to tell us what happened" Merlin tried to reason, he already knew where this was going, only a lord would have the money to own a keep.
"We know what direction she came from, I will not stand by while people are suffering on my land" Arthur said, thanking Gaius as he left the room. "Ready the horses Merlin" he said more firmly this time.
Who could it be, Merlin thought to himself as he saddled Arthur's horse. He knew of all the local lords or at least most of them. Many came to Camelot often for council meetings or celebrations, and while most of them were rude and arrogant, he couldn't think of one that would so openly kidnap a girl. If it's not a lord then who would it be and why her? She's not got magic and yes she's pretty but she's barely fifteen and speaks like a peasant girl there's nothing particularly special about her. His thoughts were interrupted by Arthur, Leon, Gawain, Percival, and Elyan entering the courtyard.
"Are you ready to go?" He said, Merlin nodded "good", Arthur swung himself up onto his horse with grace and watched trying not to laugh as Merlin did his usual awkward shuffle onto the other one. Despite how many years he's been riding with Arthur, Merlin still seems to feel out of place on a horse. Once Merlin had settled Arthur took off out the gate with Merlin and his knights on his tail.
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"Sire!" We've picked up a trail, sir leon shouted from where he was standing, by a tree.
"Brilliant" Athur grinned, it was a smile he reserved only for his knights when they'd achieved something but it made Merlin glad, it was the first time Arthur had smiled in a week. "We should set up camp for now and head out in the morning," Arthur said, surveying the area for a good place to set up. "Over there, Merlin collect some firewood," he said, pointing to a small clearing off the side of the road.
Merlin nodded, dismounting his horse and tying it up close to there soon to be camp-site, then wandered off into the bushes to find firewood, Which would not have been hard had Arthur not joined him half way through.
"MERLIN!?" Arthur called catching up to him. "Why are you taking so long we- ugh Merlin you useless twat all that woods green" he said grabbing a handful of the twigs Merlin was carrying and waving it in his face. Merlin already knew that it just didn't matter much when you could dry them out easily with magic.
"TWAT!? Now that's not very kingly of you sire" Merlin exclaimed pretending to be hurt "I would recommend a more personable approach when talking to a friend" Merlin added with a lopsided smile.
Arthur scoffed letting out a laugh "and what would you know about being personable Merlin" he smiled this was a different smile this one was softer, one Arthur reserved for Merlin.
He loved it.
"Quite a bit actually. Why do you think all your knights love me?" He responded and Arthur laughed letting the matter drop.
Picking up a stick from the ground,"Now see this Merlin? This is a usable piece of firewood" Arthur said haughtily giving Merlin the stick. "I hope you can tell the difference or we'll be spending the night in the cold" he finished, resigning to join Merlin on the hunt for drywood.
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By Morning the party was up and leaving, following the trail leon found the night before. The rest didn't quell Merlin's anxiety from the day before. He was hyper aware of their surroundings, watching out for anything that might hurt arthur.
"Merlin!" Arthur called out.
"Yes, sire" Merlin responded, riding up alongside him.
"Somethings bothering you, what is it?" Arthur asked. it didn't sound like a question, but there was genuine worry in his eyes.
Merlin contemplated his answer "I've had this strange feeling since we arrived in Camelot with dindrain"
Athur let out a relieved laugh "oh, I thought it was something serious. Good thing it's just another one of your feelings'' he did a little wave of his hands for dramatic flare.
Merlin frowned; he'd never get used to Arthur acting like this.
Seeing merlins frown Arthur tried again. "Oh come on, how often are those little feelings right" he was trying and failing to reassure Merlin.
Too often, Merlin thought. "Yeah" he said giving a half-hearted laugh "guess your right"
"Of course I am" Arthur stated " now if you could stop staring at me, like you have been for the last hour, That would be great. it's rather disconcerting" he said jovially
"Ha right" Merlin laughed, letting his horse slow, riding back into place behind arthur.
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The sun was about to set by the time the keep was in view. It wasn't massive but it was long, spanning across the width of a river that rushed through the roughly built structure. Wooden walls encompassed the keep fending off enemy's. It looked like someone had built it on top of a pre-existing bridge.
"Right.......so what's the plan?" Merlin said, looking around at the group, now standing under some trees and looking out at the keep.
"I should seek an audience with whatever 'Lord' decided to build this" Arthur said looking disapprovingly at the awkward structure.
"If I continue following the girl's trail It'll lead me to wherever she escaped from," Gawain said.
"Good" Arthur said, "Merlin you go with him" Merlin started to protest, "he'll need help" Arthur ended the matter and Merlin conceded begrudgingly.
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They'd been searching for an entrance for a few minutes. The trail had died down under the bridge and they were unable to find it again. Merlin was investigating the bridge's stones to see if there was some kind of enchantment counseling an entrance, but he was interrupted by Gawain. who previously had been walking in circles, had now fallen through a trapdoor.
"...found it, '' Gawain said after a second of Merlin wondering if he was dead. Merlin looked down the hole and sure enough there was a tunnel attached to a small room with a ladder up that Gawain was now flopped at the bottom of.
"You alright," Merlin called, making his way down the ladder.
"Yeah" gawain grunted sitting himself up "I've had worse falls, we better get moving"
They walked down the tunnel, lined with unlit torches. Merlin grabbed two, pulled out his flint and steel and lit them, continuing down the tunnel with Gawain.
It didn't take long before the tunnel widened out into a dark room. The light from their torches illuminated a large pit in the center of the floor and Gawain put out a hand stopping Merlin from falling into it; he had been distracted by a foul smell. They looked down into the pit.
"Bloody hell" gawian said the pit's use became obvious.
"It's a mass grave" Merlin said looking at the bodies piled up. They looked at eachother grimly, silently agreeing to move on through the tunnels.
After a small time, the tunnel opened up again. This time the room had been made into a rudimentary jail, at least twenty people crammed behind the metal bars.
"Hello" Merlin said, pushing himself up against the bars "we're here to help" there was no response the people just looked up. They seemed exhausted, he could tell that most of them were dehydrated And a few had broken limbs.
"Where here with the king" Gawain said "you'll be safe soon, we'll be back" Merlin looked at them, he wanted to free them all now but Gawain was right, they couldn't not now, the people were too injured. They wouldn't make it past the pit.
Continuing through the opening on the other side of the room they found a door. Cautiously Gawain opened the door, just enough to allow someone to peek through. Gawain made some hand gestures, signaling that there were two guards. Merlin pulled out his dagger and nodded at Gawain.
Gawain pushed the door open and lunged at one of the unsuspecting guards, light flooding the small corridor they had been in. Merlin jumped at the other sentry and punched him in the face knocking him out. Gawain and Merlin shared a look of surprise. "Ha, that was easy, '' Merlin said, laughing with gawain and rubbing his sore knuckles.
They looked around the sunlight, slightly stinging their eyes. The doorway jutted out of a man-made mound of dirt, right next to the wooden walls. They were outside, behind the walls but outside. Gawain looked around "up there" he was pointing at the main keep.
Now that they could see it properly, they could tell that the keep covered the bridge entirely. Walls built up around where the base of it had been and Gawain was pointing to an awkward side door next to where the outer wall connected to the main building.
Gawain and merlin successfully made it to the door without being seen and sneaking through a tight hallway, after tight hallway, until they found them. Arthur, Leon, Elyan and Lord Aristor of Amorave. Merlin new him vaguely; he was the son of one of the members at court but he'd only seen him once or twice and he seemed as sane as nobles can be. But they were fighting surrounded by guards. Obviously whatever conversation Arthur had planned to have had gone sour.
Gawain rushed in cutting down two guards giving their group an advantage. Merlin did the same rushing to Arthur's side as always. Arthur was in combat with aristor, he was no match for Arthur and he knew it, calling in one of his guards to take his place and running off to hide. Arthur and his knights cut down one after another soldier, Merlin using his magic to heat swords and armor whenever there was an opening.
More men, mercenaries and guards alike started feeding into the hall outnumbering them forcing them backwards out of the main hall and into the courtyard. Tearing their way towards the gates, they got cornered, soldiers all around them there was nothing they could do but fight. So they did. his friends being cut down, unconscious, all around him until it was just him and Arthur. Someone threw themselves at him, slashing their sword wildly and kicking him down. The man was about to strike a killing blow just as Arthur swooped in, blocking the attack, cutting the man down and moving on to the next.
Outnumbered, Merlin looked around trying to find an opening, a moment he could use his magic without Arthur seeing, but there was none.
He'll die if I don't, Merlin thought as he looked around. Arthur was on his knees trying to stand but being knocked back down over and over again by a soldier who finally decided to aim a deadly hit. It was like time slowed, it took forever as the man swung his sword down towards the center of Arthur's head. Merlin had no choice. Arthur was going to find out.
He surged forward "Wáce ierlic" Merlin yelled flinging the man backwards crashing hard into the stone floor, and doing the same to the rest stunning them. He stepped in front of Arthur protecting him in case any one of them got back up. but none did.
"Merlin?" a small voice said behind him.
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Too exhausted to stand and fight, he looked up at his attacker. He was greeting death as the sword swung down towards his head, Someone spoke something behind him and the man was flung backwards.
Merlin walked forward, eyes glowing. good God Arthur thought, terrified as Merlin raised his hand again, throwing two more attackers backwards and into a wall, then another and another until all twelve of their assailants were out cold on the dusty stone floor. Arthur's mind raced.
Merlin no he wouldn't, he doesn't, he's not a-
"M-Merlin?" Arthur said timidly, almost a whisper. He was starting to stand, reaching for his sword.
Does he need to protect himself?
"Arthur i-" Merlin started, Arthur's mind was racing, nothing Merlin could say would make this better. Arthur's heart was in his throat, this couldn't be.
"What the hell was that?" Arthur said, trying to remain calm, eyes darting around the courtyard to all the soldiers laying prone. Would Merlin do that to me? His Sword now firmly in his grasp. There was something in Merlin's eyes Arthur had seen before.
No, he wouldn't.
Merlin gasped he didn't know what to say. Arthur could see the tears in his eyes forcing his own down Arthur said,
"It was magic. wasn't it?!" he didn't need a response.
"Arthur please," Merlin cried.
He grimaced at Merlin, the tears falling down his face "you're a sorcerer!" He said. He could feel his heart breaking.
The other knights were starting to wake up.
"Your sorcerer, and I trusted you! And you- and you lied?" it was almost a question he was still refusing to believe it but reality was crashing over him.
Magic is evil, it has to be.
"Yes" Merlin's admission left his mouth dry. "But it's for you Arthur i only use it for you"
No, no, no. How could he believe that?
As he'd looked into merlins glowing eyes there was something so familiar about them.
NO?
Arthur stormed over pointing his sword at Merlin's throat. "And how am I meant to trust you?" He cried trying not to shake. Gawain and Elyan were on their feet now. But he didn't care; he'd realized where he'd seen those eyes before.
Dragoon.
"Arthur you know me" Merlin pleaded
"It was you wasn't it" he shot back his pain echoing around the courtyard, He could see that he had hurt Merlin but he wouldn't let him self care,
Merlin killed Uther.
Merlin tried to step forward. Arthur sobbed his grip tightening on his blade.
"You killed him" Merlin didn't respond, he just gave a pained expression. Please no. Arthur held back his emotions forcing them into words, "why?"
"I didn't mean to" Merlin wheezed, Arthur looked at him incredulously "Please Arthur I was trying to save him"
"No"
"Arthur please" he begged
"Stop it" Arthur said this was all too much, he couldn't think.
"Arthur"
"I don't know who you are" he said the hatred and betrayal plain on his face now.
"Yes you do Arthur, you always have" Merlin was broken and sobbing. A second passed...
"Go Merlin, before I do something I'll regret" Merlin stood there stunned, refusing. "GO!" Arthur yelled
And he did.
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He wanted to stay to fight more to tell him he loved him. But the look in Arthur's eyes said all he needed to know. That feeling came back and he knew what it was now, it was the pendulum of fate swinging, altering his destiny. bringing that girl back to Camelot, coming here was the end. Everything he'd worked for was gone Arthur didn't need him, didn't want him. He wasn't any more than Emrys the fool, who tempted fate.
He was running, he didn't know when he'd started but he had. He ran as fast as his feet would possibly take him. He wanted to, no needed to scream, so he did.
"O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!"
He didn't know why he was summoning kilgharrah but it felt right.
The tree line finally broke into a clearing and Merlin fell to his knees heart breaking, he desperately wanted someone to put him back together to tell him that nothing had changed.
But he could feel it in the fabric of the universe, magic had formed him a new path and he didn't want to be on it...
"I'm sorry young warlock" kilgharrah had arrived, Merlin hadn't noticed in his grief "there is nothing that I can do."
"You know?" Merlin yelled "why, why is this happening, why didn't you warn me, wh-" he tried to continue but he was overcome by his emotions.
"I did not tell you, because I did not know" the dragon responded "if I had, you would have too"
"Is there nothing you can do?" Merlin sobbed. "I can't lose him"
"You have not lost him young warlock, your paths still lay together" the dragon riddled "you must fight, fight to stay, fight for magic" he said staring pointedly at Merlin.
The words hit him. There was still hope, hope he was scared to grasp hold of. "Can you take me home? To Ealdor." The dragon looked at him pitying him but extended a wing down for Merlin to climb onto. "Thank you '' Merlin said as he was lifted onto the dragons back.