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He was locked up in his house again.
He didn't respond to much anymore, either.
Gaap used to be a busybody full of energy, but losing the person who was most important in his life had destroyed him. He didn't know what to do with himself anymore, after the long and agonizing days that just keep passing by. He hated the feeling of waking up in physical and emotional pain in a puddle of his own tears.
Maybe it was waking up in general.
Maybe it was because he used to spending all of his time with him.
But now he was gone. Forever. And it hurt him more than he could've prepared himself for. Who prepares themselves for their boyfriend dying at their own pathetic hands anyway?
He bashed himself mentally for all of it happening in the first place. He shouldn't have been so greedy, going about life the way he did. Gaap knew that he wanted 100 allies as a first year, part of him still did. A tiny fraction of his soul holding hope for his miserable self, telling him he could fulfill his ambition. Even if he was hideous and a terrible, terrible demon, that voice always tried to tell him the opposite.
He couldn't bear the loneliness that his true form gave him, and made it his ambition to break the stereotypes his origins had cursed him with.
But he was too greedy.
Once he had tried to befriend the demons in the Misfit Class, he should've known that was all he could've needed. Agares was all that he could've needed.
To think he was so, so—selfish, to have let something like this happen made his heart ache and chest tighten. Gaap felt heavy with each ticking second he was awake. Somehow, out of the blue, something Agares had told him before he died rang in his head.
"Even if you try to stay away, it won't make any difference," Agares encouraged Gaap, "So let those nosy people butt in."
He'd forgotten what that voice sounded like with time. That sleepy, apathetic, lazyass, blindingly beautiful one-of-a-kind demon was the inner voice that kept telling him Gaap he was enough. That demon who'd changed his life, his voice was the one that told him he was doing his best. He felt like he wasn't most of the time, but decided to revel in the feeling selfishly for a minute.
It had only been a few days, maybe weeks since it happened. He couldn't bear the thought, nor realization, of not being able to hear him ever again. To never see him ever again. The guilt encapsulated him like a fish in a net, being hauled upwards to where certain death awaited, though still struggled for his life relentlessly.
It didn't matter in the end. Not if he wasn't there with him, nothing mattered.
If nothing mattered, then neither did he.
But something did matter. The most important thing he could do with his miserable life, and his last gift to Agares. An apology to him, to them, and to their relationship that would forever be engrained in his mind. Gaap thought, trying not to break down and sink back into his shell.
The last thing he could do right.
Moving on.