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“Hopefully they’ll make whatever it is quick and we can make the second hand. I hear Helo’s been infusing some of Tyrol’s brew with some spices from that last planet and I plan to take it off his hands tonight.”
Kara nudged Lee with her elbow hard enough to send his shoulder crashing into the wall. He glared at her as he regained his balance and took a few quick steps to catch up with her.
“Is that all you ever think about, Thrace? Drinking and playing cards?”
Kara deftly avoided his attempt to put his own elbow in her side, quickening her pace instead. “And frakking,” she said with a smirk. “I spend a lot of time thinking about frakking.”
Lee rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to respond but stopped short when angry, familiar voices echoed down the corridor. He motioned for Kara to join him in slithering up against the wall and then chanced a careful glance around the corner.
The sight in front of him sent a chill through his body. His father, back ramrod straight with rage, had the president backed up against a wall. He was inches from her face, yelling, and while he couldn’t make out every word he could see Roslin flinch at every other inflection. He craned his neck to shoot Kara a worried look.
She smiled at him, her expression betraying not a hint of concern. “I hear they’ve been going at it like that all day. Gaeta said he chewed her out so good in CIC earlier even Tigh was blushing.”
Lee frowned and glanced back toward the powerful pair just in time to see his father grab for Roslin’s arm. She jerked it away and stalked off in the direction of the Admiral’s quarters, her heels clicking angrily against the deck. His father stood still for a moment, shook his head, and plodded heavily after her.
“Damn it,” Lee sighed, “and here I thought they were getting along so well. I guess we should hurry and break it up. Dad looked pretty pissed.”
Kara raised an eyebrow like she was about to protest but kept her mouth shut when he pulled her in the direction the leaders had headed. He didn’t believe his father would actually raise a hand to Laura Roslin but, he rationalized, screaming at her all night couldn’t be great for her once again fragile health.
In the few minutes it took to reach the hatch, he’d worked himself up into a full blown fit of worry. Several alarming scenarios came to mind, one involving the poor, cancer ridden president sitting helplessly, silent in her distress, while his father berated her to the point of collapse. Vaguely, he conjured up the possibility of his dad finally giving himself a full blown coronary.
He nodded at the marine guards and rapped on the door.
After a minute passed with no response, he reached for the handle. Kara stopped him by putting her palm on his wrist.
“Lee, I really don’t think we should go in there right now, orders or not.” She shuffled her feet and looked down at the ground. “I think there’s a pretty good chance they’re, um, working it out the old fashioned way.”
“What the hell does that even mean, Kara?”
She smirked at him. “Well, Lee, sometimes after mommy and daddy have a fight, they…” She made a crude gesture with her hands and giggled at his shocked expression.
It took him a few moments to find his voice again. When he did, it was a low, angry hiss. “Captain, I could write you up for even suggesting that. They’re our superior officers and they are absolutely not,” he flapped his hands, “doing that.”
Kara rolled her eyes. “Gods, Lee, what are you, twelve? Daddy has sex, you know. And you know make up fraks are the best.” She wriggled her hips at him suggestively.
Lee huffed and reached for the handle again. It just wasn’t possible. Not with the president’s illness. Not at their age. Certainly not in their positions. Not. Possible.
He was thinking about how to punish his sex obsessed pilot for even making him think about his father doing that that when he swung open the door and barged inside.
All thoughts, horrible and more horrible, flew out of his head at the scene before him.
He’d seen friends impaled, their guts spilling out of their bodies. Flesh melting off familiar faces.
Not one of those gruesome images compared to the sight of his delicate president on her knees in front of his half naked father, his engorged cock thrusting frantically into her mouth.
Lee’s stomach lurched when his ears registered the unmistakable soundtrack of slurps, groans, and balls slapping flesh. He might have stood there forever, blinking in horror, had Kara not bodily moved him backward, taking care to noiselessly shut the hatch.
Her maniacal laughter brought him back to reality and suddenly his breath was coming in short, sharp gasps.
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” he muttered as he fumbled for the wall and collapsed back against it. Kara joined him, her body still shaking with mirth.
“Frak, I never wanted to see that,” Kara managed through another fit of giggles, “but the look on your face, Lee!”
He shook his head, trying to clear the image of his father’s bowed legs and just how much of his, ew, ew, ew, had been in Laura Roslin’s mouth.
“Well, look at it this way, Lee,” Kara said soothingly, “at least we know who won.”
Lee gasped aloud.
“Dear Gods, you think he makes her blo…” He blanched. “Do that when she loses an argument?”
At that final horrible thought, Lee’s dinner really did start to make a reappearance. He dashed off to the closest head, Kara’s knowing laughter echoing behind him.
*********
On the other side of the hatch, the elder Adama was also leaning back against a cool metal wall, struggling to catch his breath. He smiled down at the president as she primly wiped the last remnants of his release from her lips.
“Gods, Laura,” he panted, “You do have a way of ending an argument. I’d have admitted I was wrong hours ago if you’d just done that in CIC.”
She smirked and accepted his hand to help her up. She kissed him deeply, pulling away only when breath required.
“Yes, well, what did you want me to say? ‘The Old Man is just being a cranky bastard because he’s hornier than a Leonese rabbit?’ We wouldn’t want to scar the children, Bill.”
She raised an eyebrow, as if a thought had just occurred to her.
“Speaking of, I wonder what the hell is taking Lee and Kara so long?”