Chapter Text
“THAT IS IT!”
Shulk shouted, his British accent sounding quite angrier than the incidents that occurred back on Bionis. He slammed his bedroom door shut and locked it. Then, he kicked his boots off and landed face down on his rustic modern style bed, white pillow clutched tightly. His pissed off nature resulted into the Hom breaking down and crying softly to himself, an emotion he rarely showed to anyone. It was simple just to lock himself up in his bedroom whenever he felt that way. Shulk turned on his white iPhone 5S and played “Calling All Angels” by Train at the loudest volume. At first Shulk could not adjust to owning the device but within a day he knew what to do thanks to his devoted interest in technology. The Music application helped him through everything rather than calling a therapist. Besides, he loved Train and other famous hits from the early 2000s. He even listened to Madonna, of all artists.
After the song ended, a light knock was heard from the white bedroom door.
“Oi, Shulk? Are you in here?” A familiar voice chirped out. Shulk, wiping his tears away, sat up on his white bed, trying to straighten his gray duvet.
“Reyn?” Shulk gasped, clenching to his white pillow. “Is that you?”
“Of course it is.” Reyn replied. “Can I come in?”
“Uhh…yes. Hold on!” Shulk shouted. He hopped off of his bed and walked into the bathroom. There, he witnessed Yoshi as always, watching NintendoCapriSun videos and drinking, what else, CapriSun while sitting on the toilet, y’know IN THE BATHROOM. Shulk had to share his facilities with Yoshi considering that the dinosaur's room was right next door. However it was always troubling to get Yoshi off of the commode, especially if Shulk needed the loo. But that was not the case right now. Shulk went to the sink, turned on the faucet, and splashed water on his face along with applying an expensive moisturizer mask. It was to hide away his tired skin that resulted from crying. He then rinsed the mask off, turned off the faucet, and quickly patted his face with a soft yellow towel.
“Let me guess, you heard your famous meme.” Yoshi barked, still watching the YouTube video.
“Again.” Shulk remarked.
“It’s fine Shulk.” Yoshi sympathetically stated, sipping his CapriSun.
“Thanks Yoshi. How’s the Goth fight going?”
“Them goths have been hard but were getting there. I took away their supply of CapriSuns this morning.”
Shulk rolled his eyes, grinning at the weird dinosaur’s response. What was it that made those emos hate him anyway? After all, it was just a teenage phase.
Shulk walked out of the bathroom and shut the door. He unlocked the bedroom door and opened it up to see Reyn and Riki.
“You guys!” Shulk said happily.
“Shulk, we heard you crying.” Reyn sternly replied, arms crossed. Riki imitated him as well, with a cute frown.
Shulk sighed and admitted the truth, though was surprised by how the two figured it out.
“I’ve been crying…I just…cannot handle being a meme anymore.” Shulk sighed out, welcoming the two into his room. They sat down on the large red bean bags in the middle of the bedroom, in front of the black plasma television, which showed various music videos.
Shulk clenched his fists, growling. Finally he had to admit his rage.
"I KNOW I AM NOT THE ONLY MEME TO BE EMBARRASSED IN THIS HOUSE. I MUST UNITE THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN MADE FUN OF TOO!" Shulk demanded, screaming to both Reyn and Riki, in which the two swore their eardrums exploded. Reyn understood his anger, revealing his frown.
"I am with you on uniting all of the memes. IT’S ALWAYS REYN TIME!" Reyn shouted out to, pointing to his watch that had a image of Gaur Plain.
“RIKI MAD TOO! Satan Pit kicked Riki down the stairs. RIKI IS ANGRY! RIKI IS PISSED!” Riki growled, tossing the remote control to the other side of the room. The remote control landed on Shulk's bed, flat down, changing the channel. The channel was showing an interview from Psy, who is famously known for his number one hit on Youtube: Gangnam Style. The three heard him speak his perfect English and turned to see the TV.
"So, what do you suggest to existing memes today? You are certainly one of the biggest memes in history! Surely you have much to say considering your fame?" The interviewer asked to the K-pop star, who sipped his whiskey.
"My suggestion..." Psy glamoured. "for every meme today is to live with your unnecessary action that caused your fame...and with other meme stars, unite together. Every meme has brought laughs and it is proven to bring them together too. We are the voice of the internet and possibly, the whole world.”
Shulk then grinned, blushing because of what the K-pop star said regarding his status. Sure he may be stuck living the meme life that Fiora and the others warned him, but he still had a chance today. All he had to was simple: unite the memes in the Manor. Perhaps, even the whole internet, which was pretty much the whole world.
"With other meme stars, unite together.” echoed into Shulk's mind multiple times before the TV was turned off by Reyn, who was now sitting on Shulk's bed.
“Reyn, that Korean might be on to something! We have to do it! We have to unite the memes! We have to: for the world!” Shulk yelled, grabbing the Monado and pointing it to the ceiling.
“MEME THE WORLD! MEME THE WORLD! MEME THE WORLD!” Riki screeched, jumping all over Shulk’s room before hitting himself on the night-table near Shulk’s bed. Riki did get hurt but having the energy of a four year old
“Yeah! Let’s show those hob-knockers how we run this house!” Reyn agreed. Shulk put the Monado down and looked back at Reyn, startled by what he said.
“Reyn, have you been reading Urban-Dictionary again?” Shulk asked.
“Yes, and the next thing to do first is clean the eating room.”
“You mean the dining room Reyn?”
“Yeah, but remember about the other cliques?”
“What is it?”
“They hate us cause they anus! Get it?”
Shulk rolled his eyes as he went over to his bedroom door.
“Come on, you two, we have got some planning to do!” Shulk said.
The three exited out of the bedroom door. Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Yoshi was overhearing their immediate plant. The green dinosaur made an evil grin.
“Yes. We have another clique. Time to go fuck shit up again!” Yoshi proudly said, flushing the toilet.
After a short time, Shulk and his friends were inside of the ancient dining room, a previous hubbub of talking fighters and food everywhere. However, the formation of the Hot Topic Krew put such family dinners on hold due to their ruthless behavior and awful manners. It was determined the maid did not even bother to clean the place up, with dust starting to form on the decor surrounding the room. Dirt even made its way thanks to gap of the open glass doors. But the three guys were planning to clean up the room anyway and make it their official meeting room. Shulk and Reyn entered the room, talking about how to summon and formally make them a member of their new squad. Riki hopped right behind them, humming “ME!ME!ME!” by Teddyloid.
“You are going to fart on the new members, Reyn?” Shulk said, frowning.
"Farts are lethal yet anyone can handle them. Just watch."
Reyn got close to Riki and lets out a huge fart.
"EWWWW!" Riki screeched. "Reyn Nasty!!" Riki spun around, trying to get rid of the nasty odor. Reyn, being kind and not wanting the Nopon to quit, hushed him down with what was determined as the best explanation ever to the Nopon, at least to Shulk’s perspective.
"But Riki, you get to be part of the brigade!"
"Really?" Riki asked, stopping his spin, glancing at the muscular, tanned red head.
"Yes. Why it's part of the initiation to get in!" Reyn explained,
"Yay!! Riki part of brigade!!!!" Riki cheered, hopping up and down. Shulk then ushered Reyn to the side with the look of concern. The explanation was handy to the clueless Nopon but what about the incoming ones? They were not fools.
"Reyn, are you sure about your gassy initiation? Don't you think the incoming members would be mad?" Shulk asked.
"Well, I honestly hate farts. I just wanted to do that to Riki for quite a while. I ain’t like the Goddess.” Reyn admitted, making Shulk frown once again.
“In fact, I'm going to burp in the jar instead. When we gather the members to oath, we will open it and call it our "Stench of Modern Memes." Reyn explained, picking up Link's glass bottle.
"That could work. But let us not mention ‘burps’ or ‘farts’ anytime we speak whatsoever. At least to Riki.” Shulk admitted.
“Alright then. Now let's clean up the dining room and await for our members!” Reyn said, picking up a mop.
Time passed and the whole dining room was shining. The scent of lemon filled the air.
“Smells fruity.” Riki remarked.
“It may attract that lady from Family Guy but I have one more thing.” Reyn said, picking up the box that he brought from upstairs. He opened the cardboard box to reveal colorful boxes inside, with the word Girl Scout Cookies.
"Reyn, where did you get all of these Girl Scout Cookies?" Shulk asked, shocked by what was in the box. Shulk reached out for a box of Tagalongs AKA Peanut Butter Patties and opened the package, taking out a cookie to eat.
"Stole them from Jigglypuff. We need members to come over." Reyn said, opening a box of Thin Mints.
"Alright." Shulk said, then taking a small bite out of the Tagalong cookie.
“Let’s see who shows up.” Reyn said, putting the box of Thin Mints right in front of the glass door in the dining room. He locked the doors to let the memes come near the door. According to basic research that Shulk conducted (Really it was the Hom looking on to the member’s MySpace and Facebook accounts), Thin Mints are revealed to be the main lure for meme celebrities.
Captain Falcon was darting the long hallway in search of Snake once again, who stole his cardboard box from his closet.
“I was planning on donating Snake. Be a man and give me my box!” Captain Falcon shouted.
Suddenly the scent of mint filled the air. Captain Falcon, loving the scent of mint, ignored his previous search and darted all over the hallway, trying to figure out where the deliciousness of mint was coming from.
“I’M COMING MINTY MINT!” Captain Falcon shouted, dashing through the halls. He finally spotted where the mint scent was, in the dining room. Captain Falcon bounced to the door and saw the famous green colored box. He licked the door in anticipation of the mint flavored cookies.
Coming out of the great room was Marth, Ike, and Chrom who were finished watching their favorite television show, Adventure Time because of the weird cast of characters and their love for Princess Bubblegum. Immediately, the three navy blue haired men smelled the mint nearby. They all sighed in delight, loving the smell of mint. Chrom was aware of where the scent was coming from and pointed to the glass door.
“Over there! I smell them!” Chrom yelled, allowing the two men to run in front of him before he joined them at the glass door. Marth and Ike smushed their faces on the glass door, anticipating the mint cookie. Chrom even kissed the door!
Finally, Little Mac and Donkey Kong came from the other side of the hallway, chatting about their boxing practice and what to do for a knockout.
“Okay Mac, if you want to beat the shit out of Von Kaiser, I suggest throwing a coconut cream pie…”
“Deja Vu, D.K..” Little Mac mentioned. Donkey Kong groaned in response, noting himself to not mention his cartoon series ever again. Before Little Mac could tell D.K. his knockout plan, the boxer caught a whiff of mint, which wasn’t far away at all. D.K. also scented it, figuring it was toothpaste. However he did whiff one scent that would be super familiar to Little Mac…
“I smell chocolate and mint!” Little Mac said, stopping in the middle of the hallway.
“Well yeah, it does. I figured it was tooth-“
“Doc actually hates mint but I love it. And with chocolate too…” Little Mac continued, interrupting D.K., who easily knew what the boxer was planning to do.
“We’re going to find Thin Mints?” The gorilla questioned, with a sleek smile.
“WE’RE GETTING SOME THIN MINTS!!” Little Mac screamed, putting his right fist into the air. “Let’s go!” Little Mac then hopped onto the back of Donkey Kong, who decided to run like the animal he actually was, with the gorilla sounds to accompany it. They made it to the glass doors of the dining room, also eyeing the other guys who were all ooing and aahing at the glass door. Riki, watching the door by hiding behind a plant, noticed all of them and called out to Shulk.
“Shulk! Shulk! Members come to Riki!” The Nopon shrieked, hopping up and down.
“Alright, time for them to come in.” Reyn said, going to the glass door and picking up the box of cookies which made the guys stare at Reyn and his beautiful body. He strutted with the box of cookies.
“Oi, want to join us?” Reyn asked to the crowd, who all nodded their heads.
“Well come on in.” Shulk told them, unlocking the glass doors, allowing for Reyn to run to gate switch. Once the men all came in and sat at the table, Reyn switched the gate switch to ON, locking the glass doors with bars. This was only used in the mansion in case someone broke into the mansion.
“Yo, what’s up with locking the glass doors?” Little Mac argued.
“We all lured you here with Thin Mints and for one reason only.” Shulk stated, slamming his hands on the dining room table.
“What is it for this time?” Chrom moaned, reaching for the cookie box. His hand was slapped by Riki, who was holding his stick weapon while being confined to a high chair.
Shulk cleared his throat and stated what he wanted for his fellow fighters.
“The power we have….as memes!” Shulk declared, holding the Monado like Link would do with his own Master Sword.
“I gathered each and everyone of you here…all because we have been ridiculed, embarrassed, and had shots fired all because we are deemed as memes. Of the internet. Of Tumblr. Of Fanfiction. Of Facebook. Almost every social media site there is.”
All of the guys nodded, agreeing with the Hom who spoke his dream.
“I heard from a very wealthy man who established the greatest meme of all told me about our status. Sure we will be living the meme life for the rest of our existence, but we want to be relevant. But not only that but have POWER!”
“YEAH!” The guys chanted.
“HAVE STRENGTH!”
“YEAH!”
“BE DOMINANT”
“YEAH!”
“AND…TO BE THE NUMBER ONE CLIQUE IN THIS MANOR.”
“YEAH!”
“NOW, ARE WE IN ON THIS OR WHAT?!”
“YEAH!” The guys chanted in unison, cheering for their leader Shulk. Reyn and Riki clapped in celebration of the success the meme leader had received.
“I’m sick of fans ridiculing me for not being in the game but I will get my chance! I’m in!” Chrom argued, standing up.
“Side-Bs are a simple accident. They died, admit it. But that’s how they ended up playing and blaming it on me. I’m with you!” Little Mac shouted, standing up.
“People think I’m from an anime. That isn’t even true! I’m in.” Marth said, standing up.
“I always fight for my friends. Simple as that.” Ike said, standing up.
Gosh, what a weird pattern. Reyn noted, as he stood up.
“No one will ever take ransom notes seriously thanks to me. But I’ve always been an easy joke. I think it’s time for all of us to stand and be united!” Donkey Kong admitted, standing up.
“Ever since I started fifteen years ago, fans have noted me as a meme without playing any game from my franchise. It’s now time for us to take a stand and rule the mansion!” Captain Falcon shouted.
All of the guys cheered once again. Shulk spoke up again.
“By the power invested in me from the whole entire internet, you are all now part of the MemeMemeMeme Brigade! In the name of united Memes!” Shulk declared, opening the jar filled with the air of Reyn’s burps, which had a sweet scent thanks to the Thin Mnts.
“AMEN!”
A little later on, all of the guys were quickly getting along with each other. And it was thanks to a few boxes of Girl Scout Cookies and Shulk’s ushering confidence to create the dominant clique of memes. Chatter was quite bizarre but everything was going great!
“Oh my gosh, Little Mac. Your top is cool! Where did you get it?” Marth, the posh prince asked, grinning.
“I got it at Forever 21!” Little Mac plainly said, then devouring two Samoas.
“I. LOVE. THAT. STORE!” Marth cheerfully yell. Both he and Little Mac squealed in delight.
“You know, if Mewtwo and Luigi weren’t emotionally upset all of the time, they would have been part of our crew.” Donkey Kong noted.
“I didn’t even know Luigi came back!” Chrom noted.
“Yeah, but he and Mewtwo are with the Hot Topic rejects.” Little Mac said.
“If only we can get them back, we can become more of a dominant clique.” Reyn suggested before stuffing his face with Trefoils and Trios.
“HOT TOPIC IS SATAN!” Riki shouted from the other end of the table, hearing Little Mac.
“Ugh, who taught religion to Riki?” Chrom, the atheist remarked in frustration.
“Oh hey, Little Mac. Didn’t you use to hang out with Roy?” Ike mentioned, ignoring Chrom’s demanding question.
“Uh yeah. But we sort of fought a week back. Had to with him not getting what he wanted.” Little Mac said, rolling his eyes.
“Well, he was always a brat that’s for sure.” Ike told the boxer.
“Please Shulk, do not let Roy in our super squad.” Little Mac begged to Shulk, who sipped his purple drank in a black grail with the word meme written in white, the font comic sans. Shulk even wore a black and red snapback.
“I won’t. He’s not even in the game. Besides, it’s almost time for the meeting to end. Is everyone ready to recite our daily oath?” Shulk asked, standing up from his throne of stacked Girl Scout Cookie boxes.
All of the men stood up from their chairs, ready to give out their cry.
Ready?!
We Are The MemeMemeMeme Brigade!
Shulk: the leader! My specialty is really feeling it!
Reyn! My specialty is Reyn Time!
Riki! Heropon specialty!
Little Mac! My specialty is a Side-B Punch!
Marth! My specialty is for everyone to look at me! Minna, miteite kure!
Ike! My specialty is fried chicken! And to fight for my friends!
Chrom! My specialty is getting my chance today!
Captain Falcon! My specialty is a FALCON PUNCH!
Donkey Kong! My specialty is EXPAND DONG!
“Together, we must unite all of the memes, to protect the world!” Shulk said, holding the Monado in similarity to Lion-O from the Thundercats.
“All of us together, in the power of the internet!” The nine members shouted. They victoriously posed like the Sailor Scouts from Sailor Moon.
Walking past the glass doors of the dining room was none other than Rosalina and Metaknight, who simply rolled their eyes from what they witnessed at first glance.
“Why is it me or is everyone forming some sort of clique here in the manor?” Rosalina questioned in her southern belle accent.
“Sounds a lot like it. Perhaps we should start our own.” Metaknight spoke in his Spanish accent.
“Why that sounds like fun!” Rosalina squealed, clapping her hands together.
The two walked off, chatting in delight on how they were to form what it expected to be the final clique in the Smash Manor. Competition was now getting brutal in this mad house.
Meanwhile, hiding behind the marble column in the large hallway was a red haired teenage boy, who stood up after witnessing the two other smashers leaving. He glanced again back at the glass doors of the dining room revealing the newly formed brigade in the mansion.
“Perhaps, I will have my chance….someday.” Roy said to himself, before walking to the other hallway.
It was finally evening. Almost every fighter was asleep, well except for the edgy Hot Topic Krew but we should not get into that much detail about them for now. As for Shulk himself, he laid on his bed wearing his famous boxers glancing at his iPhone 5S. In the Notes application on his phone, he was typing down simple important words describing his current pleasures and not so fantastic pleasures. It was quite better than writing in a journal, considering that can fall easily in the hands of an enemy. It was in a significant list that details his own experiences in the mansion. Very simple.
Shulk’s State of the Union
IN OUT
Forming a clique Staying away from the other cliques
Forever 21 Hot Topic
Burps Farts
All in all, it was time that the Hom got into the spotlight. With a little help from his friends, of course.
Well, this is the start of a new clique in the Smash Manor. Shulk finally gets to prove once and for all what memes were truly for: to dominate the entire world. Along with Reyn, who religiously reads Urban Dictionary, Riki, who is attached to cartoons and disowning the actions of Satan, Little Mac and his fetish with mint and chocolate flavors and scents, Marth, the posh and fabulous prince of the brigade, Ike, defender of friends and fried chicken, Chrom, his atheist ways and fetish of fish sticks, Captain Falcon, the man who is willing to punch a puppy, and Donkey Kong, the true leader of the D.K. Crew and his ransom note styled memes. All are united in the name of the memes.
Next chapter will include appearances by Dunban and Dickson, supposedly Shulk’s dads. And some babe name Fiora who Shulk confirms as his bae. There will a trip to the mall. Everyone is wearing pink. And a special encounter with the most famous clique of all.
Stay tuned my friends.