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In the city of Lake Erie, Ohio, the new statues that had stood for over a week at the entrance to the largest mall in the area weren't anything too strange to most, especially not in a world of superpowers and hyper-technology. Thousands upon thousands had walked past each day, going into the large shopping centre. And as admired as they'd been by some of those passing, they were already just some decoration for the majority of passers by.
They were two nude feminine forms, but in fitting with a wider trend in modern publicly displayed artwork, did not meet the 'classical' features of sculpture. Rather than being made as slender waifs with voluptuous breasts, these nudes both had bodyforms that fit the average shapes rather than the supermodel style of statuesque.
One appeared a young female figure around twenty or so, short haired and a lean figure that could be called boyish. The statue's chest was not one blessed with a large bust, two a-cup breasts sculpted into stone and lying apart from each other, looking like simply smooth protrusions out of the chest that cast no shadows other than the small ones from the pebbles of their nipples. It had somewhat unkempt short hair, one small tuft sticking up from the top. Flat-stomached and with a hint of heading towards abs if the statue were to work out a little more in future, their hips were not wide and the statue's behind was also relatively slender, but their pubic area was finely detailed, a mass of stone strands depicting a natural bushy appearance over feminine genitalia that could just be made out, hidden by the sculpted pubes and the clash with the surrounding alabaster marble.
It also had one feature not in marble, a purple bracelet on the right wrist that seemed to glow. Blank eyes stared from above a toothy smile, a grin of confidence. The statue stood, the glowing-wrist over a stone fist resting on their hip, body slightly cocked to the side to pose. The other hand was hanging to the side, long fingers drooping loosely like intricate stalactites, or marble icicles.
The other was a thicker-built woman about the same age range. Taller than her companion, her form seemed stockier and also more outwardly feminine rather than the more androgynous figure the other statue presented. The breasts of this statue were larger, about a c-cup, and more obvious as a result. The shadow of cleavage and underboob was present on the stone below and the nipples were small rocky nubs tipping the sculpted mammaries. The statue's stomach was not pudgy but had evidence of a little excess fat either on the way in or way out depending on near future exercise and eating habits.
It too had a mass of fine white hairs across the pubic region, and a slightly more prominent depiction of her genitals below it, the labial folds easier to spot and a faint peek of clitoral hood also present. Her behind and hips were more curved, and her legs, though not slender, clearly leaned more towards simply a thicker muscular build than being fat. Her bushy hair was done up into a bun, somewhat neater than her companion. Her eyes were blank globes looking out from below a pair of spectacles, not in marble, but seemingly like the real thing, glass lenses and all. Her smile seemed more nervous, not exposing teeth but with mouth slightly open, and her pose was a little more awkward, one hand across her body as if about to try and hide her breasts, and the other moving as if to try cover her crotch, like she was caught nude and about to cover up.
The statues had appeared one morning, and to some slight confusion, as they had not been announced or unveiled, yet, there they were, atop pedestals about two feet high and behind a short fence-band that would rise up a holographic barrier should anyone try to cross it and get too close. At night, small spotlights shone on them emitting from the same barrier, bringing a little light to the front of the mall, an area long criticised for the gloom after closing time. And yet, a check revealed that they had been applied for, and confirmed. Design notes, computer generated previews, signatures, and approvals from mall management and city planning committees. And yet few recalled actually being at the meetings or getting the e-mails. Even fewer knew who the credited sculptor, 'Kingfish', was, or precisely what 'patented trade secret method of sculpting' meant.
Since their appearance, though, a few trends had begun. First, the more casual ones online from the many photos taken of the installations. Cruder ones...
"Damn, she thicc!" One popular media post depicting the more curved statue had been captioned. The woman taking the selfie smiled in front of the statue, and a second post from the same user was also slightly crude.
"Dat butt do. #wishitwasassoftasitlooked"
...More supportive comments....
"Body positive statues ftw! Ain't gotta be an actual statue to be statuesque now, fam!"
...Slightly rude ones...
"They cute but damn, statue need a sammich, get some marble on dem rocks!"
...Ones causing flame wars...
"She ain't fat, assh*le, she's muscular! Sorry a lump of rock isn't some fake anorexic big titty bimbo like your timeline is full of. Maybe meet a real woman outside your basement?"
...And ones that one statue especially would have been slightly pleased to read.
"NGL, I think they're an enby statue. They might be AFAB and might not look like 'the ideal real woman' but they pull it off nice for some marble."
And then the artistic ones. The local art scenes members noted the two statues must have been quite a labour of work to be sculpted so detailed in what seemed to be marble. Smooth alabaster forms didn't betray a single slip of a chisel, certain features were of immense detail. The pubic hair as well as regular hair, obviously, but close inspection of zoomed in shots showed other things. Lines and small curves, folds in skin from posture. A small nick like a cut or scar here and there. The hands had precise and fine detail of the folds of the palm. Even the nipples had the slight raised bump of areola on close inspection, with folds and a few small glands of montgomery present.
The general art consensus was praise, with the fine detail leading to a technical discussion. Were these perhaps made from some kind of additive manufacturing? Had nanites been used to carve the stone into these shapes and achieve the detail? Or, as someone had darkly suggested, maybe they had been real people petrified by some superpower. This was seen as unlikely, for why would there be a paper trail? Why would no one recognise the 'missing' two? Unless someone had mildly altered reality around the statues, it seemed impossible.
Still, some questioned the choice of nudes in such a prominent place, and some small debate about objectification of the female form was held. But the artistic debate generally agreed they suited it.
Other commentators were less pleased, such as the woman who stood before them on the second day, arguing with a mall manager. She fit the classical stereotype of the 'Karen', from a power suit that didn't even go with her, to bleached highlights, and The Haircut. The unfortunate manager sighed, rubbed a hand through her long blonde hair, and kept listening.
"And yet we were given no chance to object to these OBSCENE things! Why, that one there is pretty much just a boy with no ding-a-ling and that one... is just hideous!" The Karen ranted.
"Nonetheless, they were approved for installation, and they WERE filed for public opinions. Further complaints should be in writing to the mall administration and to the city council, madam, but for now, I'm afraid I cannot help you further here. Though, if you would like to come to my office I can supply you forms to submit for your issue," the manager said, dying inside at the fact she had to make the offer.
"Very well! I shall! But at least cover them with a cloth or something, give them togas like those Romanian statues!"
The Manager entertained a daydream of the Karen going to see 'romanian statues' since it would put her thousands of miles away, but realised the good people of Romania and Eastern Europe had done nothing to deserve this either.
But today, the statues were being filmed, and the managers could do little to stop them. The area they stood in was designated as public space for filming and first amendment activities under local free speech ordinances, even if the mall itself had more restrictions on such things as fully private space. A bible waving man and his assistant were enacting their right to complain in the name of God, Decency, Values, Apple Pie or Whatever got him clicks and donations.
"And they remain silent on precisely how these abominable things got here! Attempted publicity without some lavish ceremony, make people think it's a mystery? Or something darker? Maybe the devil himself put these statues here? We are only asking questions, of course..."
Three entities had the answers to them. But as one was responsible and gloating at his success, he was unwilling to answer.
And the two statues, fully aware of the ranting man before them, of the thousands of stares and dozens of photos, could not answer either, as much as they desired to. Though the glowing wristband on the more confident one seemed to shine a little brighter for a moment as the ranting continued.
***
Without their input, we must go back to when they were 'installed' for those answers... in the dead of night, a quarter month past. The moonless sky veiled the front of the closed mall in blackness, the streetlights distant barely piercing the inky veil.
In the blackness, a figure knelt looking bored. A snake like shape seemed to circle her, but on close inspection, it was in fact... a fish. Specifically, a mackerel. He was King Mackerel, a reality warper from another dimension, and self-proclaimed nemesis of one of the city's superheroes.
"You know, I think they might be really ticked off, King Mackerel," the kneeling young woman said. She was Izzy Baldwin, currently hostage of the interdimensional being.
She was a young woman with a brown skin tone somewhat close to almond, of a stocky build, and wore glasses. Her black hair was done up in a bun, and she presently wore pink pyjama bottoms and a matching top, with her hands bound by a strange unbreakable golden cord.
"As they should be! They're neglecting her duties as my nemesis, you know! And you, the best friend sidekick thing, you should be encouraging them to work more with their hated foes instead of this whole flippant approach," King Mackerel said.
"Well... I mean, I do, but... at two AM?"
The arrival of a figure carrying a glowing mallet shone some light into proceedings and ended the short conversation. They were Evelyn Li, the second, current, and still slightly reluctant bearer of the artefact known as Orion's Mallet, and also known as Starhammer.
Though they were usually just called Evey. They had somewhat unkempt blue-black hair, pale skin, a somewhat lean figure, and currently wore a pair of jeans and a grey hoodie, plus sneakers, having rushed out to the call to Izzy's aid.
"Okay, let her go, go away, and I can get some sleep for the morning. When I have things to do. Things more important than some stupid attention-seeking fish kidnapping my bestie!" They said.
"So glad you could make it, Starhammer! I have indeed captured your 'bestie' and if you do not do as I say..."
Evey sighed, and swung at their aspiring nemesis, who dodged with an irate whine.
"Hey, stop that, I'm trying to explain my scheme! You don't see people getting attacked during transformation sequences!"
"...That happens all the time, you moron! But okay, here's a deal, you want to screw around, reschedule! I'm serious, I have important things on tomorrow, and so does Izzy! Just... give us some peace and we can do this later."
"What can be more important than your nemesis?!" Mackerel protested.
"Almost anything?"
"Well, we do have college exams soon, and Evey's got a test... They kinda need to focus on it, I mean, even I'm encouraging them to stick with study rather than hammer things," Izzy added.
Mackerel looked at them in actual surprise.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, we can't just put our lives on pause, Mackerel."
The fish brightened up.
"Funny you say that. See, my scheme... was along those lines!"
Evey raised an eyebrow.
"What, a groundhog day loop? You restart today over and over and I get to study more? You freeze time for everything and have some big dumb battle with me?"
The fish from another universe chuckled.
"I might try those some other time but no... It was this."
Mackerel faded away and for a second, Evey thought they were in luck. And then Izzy stood up suddenly, hands untied... and raised into the air.
"Whoa, what the..."
Below her, the paving stones shifted into a pedestal, a simple square slab of concrete matching the sidewalk slabs, but shifting into a more alabaster mottled with some lighter greys. She tried to jump down, but screamed as she saw what was happening in the glow from Evey's mallet.
Her brown feet were turning pure white, and then the same mottled pattern as the pedestal she stood on. They were fused to it, and the change spread up her body.
"Evey! Help me!" Izzy begged, as her legs changed more, and her pyjama pants began fading to nothing, exposing white-grey marble rather than almond.
"I... What do I do?!" Evey panicked, not sure how to solve this problem with their powers.
A mallet was a terrible solution to someone turned to stone, after all.
"I... I don't know either!"
Izzy was almost hyperventilating as the stone reached her hips, exposing her lower body fully.
"...I don't want to be a statue! Especially not naked... Evey, please... J-just smash me!"
"What?! No way, that's not an option!"
"I can't... I can't be like this..."
"M-maybe it's like going to sleep, and... I can just kick fish-face's butt to have him turn you back! I-I mean, he wanted a fight, right? I'll just play along! Don't worry!"
"Actually, I've changed my mind..." Mackerel's voice said, and suddenly, Evey found themselves moved a few metres.
To stand beside the almost fully stone Izzy, who was weeping in terror even as her stone body was shifting to a new forced pose, petrified below the elbow as a hand reached just not far enough to cover her exposed crotch...
"W-wait! I was... I'll do what you were wanting, just let Izzy go!" Evey tried to reason, but found themselves raising up, and their body not responding.
"Too late. This idea seems way better... But I'll be nice... That test of yours, no problem! Your college has no statues in their classes after all..."
Evey watched as one last tear fell from Izzy's now shifted and mostly stone face, before their friend was a statue, naked apart from her somehow retained glasses, and altered into an embarrassed expression rather than the terror and fear she had shown moments before.
And they looked down to see their sneakers gone, knees and lower thighs stone, jeans vanishing away...
"How can I be your nemesis as a statue, Mackerel?!" Evey protested.
"Oh, I'm not telling. Izzy might have ideas but she's a little too screamy in her head right now. It ain't like going to sleep at all! Whoopsie... But hey, a minute or two, you'll have lots of time to think all to yourself. You've got a route out on your own if you can only figure out how a hammer can help something like this that clearly isn't a nail. But for now, what's that you said earlier? Ah, yeah. I have more important things to do. Like alter quite a lot of things, erase some memories."
He laughed.
"So yeah. Have fun, you'll be a smash hit !" He said and laughed once more.
The fish vanished again, and Evey was left petrifying from the chest up. They turned to their petrified bestie.
"Izzy... I'll get us out of this, stay strong. And I'm sorry, this wouldn't have happened if I had jus-"
They were cut off as their mouth petrified, shifting into a smile, and their neck forced them to face forwards. They finished petrifying... and were left alone. Fully aware, as the mallet in their hand turned into just a bracelet on a stone wrist.
They could see the city through their stone eyes. Hear the quiet hum of the night. Feel the gentle breeze wash over their cooling stone form. Smell... ugh, the nearby trash can that was upwind and needed emptied like three days ago!
And they knew Izzy felt all that too. And she would be terrified, because this... this was one of Izzy's worst fears come true.
And it was Evey's fault...
***
But back to the present. Evey stands as motionless as they have for days now. They hear the ranting man wrap up, hear him and his assistant congratulate themselves on a good take.
Evey would roll their eyes if they could. They recognise him as a guy who latched onto any controversy and rants about it. He might believe some of what he says but there's no conviction behind it and plenty of hypocrisy wrapped around it. But here they are, eyes still locked one way. They feel warm in the mid-morning sun but also have many other woes.
Their ability to still smell, for instance, really sucks given how the wind seems to blow. Like right now, when it's wafting the scent of some street stall or something and it's not Buck Burger, but... they're worried they might start turning into a fountain drooling at the smell of fries. But their mouth remains bone dry behind the grin in stone.
And then there's Izzy. Evey wishes they could just say something, reach over and hold her hand to reassure her, hey, I'm here, we're going to be okay.... But they're honestly worrying now maybe... maybe they won't be.
They also wonder... why nude? Was Mackerel trying to embarrass them? Izzy would be too scared to really be worried about that and Evey didn't really care. Now, if it had been some mortifying outfit maybe it could have worked, like some superhero getup or some stupid thing to try make them look sexy.
...They hoped Izzy was handling it. They hoped their friend was as strong as they knew she could be.
***
For her part, Izzy was... not exactly fine but a lot calmer than the first day or two.
She'd barely been able to concentrate, like having a panic attack, unable to breathe, but... she was a statue. She couldn't breathe, couldn't try to close her eyes and count to ten or sit down to let her heartbeat slow down because she had no heartbeat any more and...
And then the sun rose and she became a little more aware at some stage, noticing all the people around, walking past. Feeling the breeze on her naked... naked?! ... stone body. Hearing some comments, but mostly just hubbub of the crowds passing. Smelling some kind of fast food stand nearby...
...And then it rained a little later that day. The raindrops had felt strange, falling on her and making her wet but not soaking her hair, just gliding off. And some ran down her face, into her mouth and she realised she could taste the water.
...Oh god, what if birds land on her? What if they... eugh, no...
But as the first day ended, as terrified as she still was, she told herself one thing.
' Evey will figure this out somehow. They'll get it eventually... '
Day Two... and she felt a little calmer. Three, four... it wasn't good and she was by now wondering if she ever slept, and was feeling a bit more bored than scared now. She still wanted to blush at every phone and camera pointed, every person posing in front of her for some selfie.
Until some familiar faces neared. One bored looking guy in his twenties, two older people walking with him. His parents, in fact, because it was Evey's family.
Her heart soared... well, okay, it was still somewhere in a mass of stone that was her chest but figuratively. Surely they'd look up and...
"Those must be the new statues they installed. Weird they never had a ceremony, you'd think the mall would want publicity," Elizabeth Li, Evey's mother, said.
"That was their stunt, install them, let people talk about them. Nothing that special otherwise," Steven Li, Evey's brother, commented.
"It's just what the sculptor wanted really. Now, if I'd been the artist, I'd have tried to go for what I'd call a real statuesque stunner.... Like you, darling," Frank, the father, flirted to the giggles of his wife and eye-rolling dismay of their son.
And then they walked past, and Izzy realised they didn't even react.
A statue identical to Evey, and they didn't react.
The terror was coming back to replace boredom.
' They didn't recognise them. Didn't even mention them. Didn't even act like they were missing or out of contact.... Has reality been changed? Are we just statues to the rest of the world?! '
And it was a terror confirmed a couple days later, when she saw her own family near. She wanted to cry out, rush over, just do something to get them to see her, beg them to help... but they just stopped. Just looked at her and Evey, like they were just admiring some artwork.
And she felt drained as every word landed. As Madeleine and Ted Baldwin stood there, with Abigail beside them, talking like they didn't even see a resemblance.
"Don't see what's so controversial about it myself," Madeleine said.
"Just the usual narrow minded thinking," Ted shrugged, and the three kept going.
Except... Abigail paused, looking right at her. Flesh eyes behind glasses seemed locked on stone ones, though the angle meant Izzy couldn't really look right back. She was mostly stuck staring forward, but her sister was far back enough... Maybe she...
"...Why do you look so familiar?" Abigail muttered, and then was called to hurry up.
She shook her head, ran past, and had no idea that she was walking away from a breaking heart and mentally sobbing mess.
Izzy was out of it, numb in her mind, catatonic, until the next day, when two more awful things happened. One, the news crew.
They stood pretty far away, and she didn't hear it perfectly, but apparently, the artwork was controversial. The news reporter filmed their piece, talking about the way the statues were approved. About how there had been no complaints during the process, which seemed legitimate. Though Izzy and Evey probably were two complaints at the very least but Mackerel had clearly not taken them on board.
And then the camera crew filmed closeups, different angles, getting shot after shot for the report. One of their drone-cameras flew right up to her face, she could see herself reflected in the lens...
...She'd be a naked statue on television. On the evening news. Sure, the photos were on social media by now and that meant... Oh no, now she thought about it that was so much worse. Hundreds of thousands of people in Ohio would see the news report but the whole world was seeing the internet stuff.
And then came whammy two. Evan McCoy. Her boyfriend. Walking up to her statue form. Her naked statue form.
And looking like he'd seen a ghost staring at her. For a moment she had hope... and then it was dashed.
"...That's a beautiful statue," He muttered, and then shook his head.
She had mixed feelings. Mortification he found her beautiful, sadness he too seemed to forget her...
"Ugh, you're talking to yourself and perving over artwork..."
He looked over at Evey.
"...That one kinda looks like a jerk though for some reason," He said and moved on.
...Izzy added a little indignation at how even with some kind of memory block or wipe or whatever Evan still wasn't getting along with Evey!
But as the time passed on, and the sight of her family, her boyfriend, became something that had been days before, the despair andfear piled on. They'd all forgotten her, everyone close to her. Only three people knew she wasn't a statue, and she was one of them. The other was a fish from another dimension.
And as she thought more and more about it... she couldn't be sure Evey remembered. What if they found a way to turn themselves back but Mackerel had changed their memories? What if they just walked away, forgetting there was ever an Izzy? Forgetting their fellow statue had been their friend once?
The idea terrified her. And it fit exactly into the kind of thing Mackerel might do, just to some day taunt Evey over how he'd made them forget. Maybe then she'd be turned back by Evey's efforts, but who could tell when Mackerel could do that?
Izzy's imagination ran through the nightmare despite her best efforts. Standing outside this mall for decades, driven crazy by isolation, or if there was some recession, the mall closed, and they relocated her... auctioned her off to some collector, putting her in some museum or worse, locking her in a room and Evey only remembering her decades later and unable to ever find her again. A statue forever, watching generations pass by as everyone she ever knew had been dead for decades, centuries... Sold and traded around as art, not a person....
Or the whole place could just be flattened. The bulldozers moving in and no one caring enough to preserve the artwork out front, just smashed down, crushed, ground to dust.
She wanted to cry - but it wasn't even raining just now so not even that could substitute.
***
More time passed, and Evey would have been tearing their hair out if not for, well, yeah.
They had nothing. They couldn't think of any fix. They didn't seem to get the mallet to react at all. At night sometimes it seemed to glow a little brighter but it didn't respond, or change.
The controversy had grown. Rant Guy and a few others started the usual sinful debauchery nonsense. A small protest tried to form but soon moved on due to apathy from shoppers and security guards slowly starting to outnumber them.
The worst part of the past few days for Evey was when some drunk guy had been dared by friends to 'go kiss the cute shorter one' and tried to get past the small barrier. He was halted, and warned to leave by guards a moment later, but as the barrier had rose to block his efforts, he dropped the last of his booze bottle, smashing against their feet. They stood with the awful stink of cheap beer wafting up most of the night, sticky stale ick coating their toes...
(And then it rained and they felt a little cleaner again...)
And now it was night, on day... something. They'd lost track and count. The night was still, and not a soul was around bar two statues.
Until some figures emerged from the gloom, about five in total. Evey saw the haircut and pretty much smelled the hypocrisy. Ranter and Karen had teamed up, and ironically, them and their faceless goons had sledgehammers.
Izzy told herself the barrier would protect her as the shadows neared.
"One little abuse of powers, and boom... no barrier... no lights," Rant Guy said, and to the horror of the two statues, it was true.
"And no cameras?" Karen added.
"Nope. All blank and looping. What a mystery, eh?"
Karen sneered, the moonlight glinting off whitened teeth.
"Only mystery is why people would ever let this trashy pair stay standing no matter how valid all our complaints were!"
She hefted her hammer, complaining at the weight.
Evey was horrified to realise...
...Izzy wanted to scream and run, as the woman was raising the hammer...
Evey heard a crack of metal on stone, something shattering, and frantically tried to get the damn Orion's Mallet to actually respond how they wanted it for one of the rare occasions it did! But it didn't.
The hammer struck home again, and Evey wanted to scream in rage and leap down as their friend was being attacked... destroyed ... but they were powerless. Useless .
Izzy screamed as it hit... but felt nothing. She also felt like bits came off but there was no pain. Just an odd feeling of...
...No, no no no!
Karen swung as others joined in. Cracks and damage were all over Izzy's lower form, Karen aiming now for her breasts and causing spiderweb cracks to form with a blow. A nipple had fallen away and Karen swung again, the cracking breast crumbling even more, and cracks starting in the torso.
Rant Guy swung at her hand, fingers snapping off and crumbling away with a metal-on-stone thud, before the damaged limb fell, stone-on-stone, as it too became just rocks and gravel smashing off the pavement below.
One of the three goons was behind, aiming at Izzy's rear, cracking and smashing her posterior. Another at the front had demolished her pubic hair and was raining blows on her pelvis, her stone genitals now just a cracked gouge out of the statue. Another was slamming at her feet, her toes just dust now but somehow her legs still hadn't let her topple...
Until another swing into her stomach cracked her in half, torso falling back and the goon behind protesting the near hit to some apology. She landed heavily and a damaged arm with no hand came off at the shoulder on impact. She stared upwards for now, glasses still on somehow, as the five looked at the damaged torso still wobbling before them.
"Well, let's finish off the top then get those fat legs destroyed, shall we?" Karen sneered, and the five raised their weapons.
The hammers swung, stone cracked, stone split, and Izzy was dismantled violently, her head cracking off from a blow, broken in two parts.
... Izzy could see new things now from two eyes, so she was now very much terrified. Not only was she stone but even being shattered wasn't freedom from it? And her glasses smashed too, meant the vision was blurry. A near blind pile of rubble...
Her torso smashed to their satisfaction, they soon moved to her legs, and left an empty plinth with just rocks, dust, and a few parts that could be recognised. A finger, a toe, part of her nose, a stone eyeball and socket, some hair....
Evey was frantic, but as they heard more smashing and knew that they were almost done with Izzy... maybe it was a blessing. Maybe smashed Izzy's mind or soul or whatever was free instead of trapped forever?
A blow to their leg shattering the knee and making them topple snapping the other at the ankle soon dispelled that idea, and they screamed more for Izzy than themselves as the hammers began raining over their stone body. The fall had brought Izzy's rubble into view and they couldn't recognise anything in the pile of stones. The remnants of Izzy, where her mind was going to be trapped. Just rubble, just a vandalised statue. Worse than dead....
The five surrounded them, and Evey was soon being smashed and cracked by the rain of blows. They saw a sledgehammer head slam into their nose and realised their face was being smashed apart. They felt parts breaking off but there wasn't the pain, and there was still that sensation they were there. Their severed legs still on the pedestal.... The feeling as their pelvis was struck and both legs came away from it, and their pubic region was shattered....
And then the odd feeling as a blow to their eye seemed to render them blind in it, the eye presumably just shattered totally. And yet... there seemed to be a sensation like seeing a whole bunch of splintered blurry sights. A blow to the ear made them feel a little deaf for a second as the stone shuddered and vibrated from the impact for a few moments....
One hit their hand and they felt the fingers shatter but still be there, as far away as the rubble was spread. One hit the mallet's wristband form and it...
...it was glowing more?
"Huh, this won't break at all. Weird," Someone said, and Evey realised the mallet was maybe finally reacting.
Far too late, they bitterly thought.
Then they heard sirens, and the figures began to scatter. A guard must have called the cops at some point seeing something happen.
Evey had no idea what would happen now. They knew they were just rubble too, just like Izzy. Would the two be swept away and replaced some day with actual statues? Would someone try to fix them like some strange jigsaw puzzle?
They would have blinked if their eyelids weren't stone because their vision just shifted right back to being on the pedestal. Intact.
A cop car neared, lights flashing, as two officers emerged and shone lights on Evey and Izzy.
"Dispatch, seems they got spooked... Statues seem fine, no obvious damage I can see," A woman's voice said, as a male cop was calling to some other person.
More cars arrived and began sweeping the area, as the guard spoke to the first two cops in front of the statues.
"Coulda sworn they'd started hitting them... guess something did scare them off when I went to call you," the young guy in a security windbreaker said.
"Yeah, you did the right thing, messing with five nuts with hammers... not gonna end well," Male Cop told him.
Evey and Izzy though stood baffled, and unharmed. They had been smashed and as soon as their attackers fled, reformed.... But how?
The answer was pretty obvious the more they considered it.
' Mackerel... ' Evey growled in their head as they recalled some things he said all those nights ago.
He had said they were not a nail, so, how would a hammer solve that?
...When all you have is a hammer
everything looks like a nail
. Except in their case, the first problem was getting the hammer to
work.
***
Day came. Evey concentrated. The wristband glowed but in the sun few noted it brighter.
Noon came. Evening. Sunset. The mall closed.
And at midnight, the wristband changed and Orion's Mallet floated before the statue of Evey.
' Okay... This is crazy and gonna suck but... here goes. '
(Izzy was at first delighted to see the mallet floating, and then horrified as it floated away, picked up speed... and hit something fast and with a smash)
Evey didn't feel a thing but smashing themselves right in the stomach with the mallet had pretty much torn their body in half, and they regretted the plan for a moment as their face rushed to headbutt the ground with similar smashy results... and then saw the same pose as before, back intact.
Again, from behind, accidentally getting their head and for one baffled moment blind because they'd accidentally annihilated their eyes.
Again, taking themselves apart slowly and crudely.
Again, slamming down from above.
And then finally... wailing on their own stone body until they were smashing and reforming and smashing and...
"Gah!" Evey cried out as they hit themself mid-reform and somehow, somehow that turned them back.
They breathed selfishly for the first time in days, weeks, kneeling on their former prison that was shrinking away back into the ground. They gasped, and even naked felt warm and elated. And they leapt up, and looked at Izzy.
"Izzy! I did it!" They jumped up and hugged the cold stone for a moment, then shuddered.
"...This is gonna suck but, maybe with me back to normal it'll go faster," Evey apologised as they began to free their bestie.
(It only took two unnerving attempts smashing the statue, looking away, and letting it reform, before a sobbing Izzy was hugging them, and they were torn between soothing her and maybe getting out of here because well, naked, in the middle of a closed mall entrance and there were guards...)
(But they'd done it. They'd freed themselves and Izzy... and they'd beat Mackerel to a pulp next time they saw the fishy pest!)
***
Evey's was closer, and it seemed whatever reality mess Mackerel had made was fixed too, because the bedroom they managed to slip into was still theirs. Izzy looked awkward in Evey's too-small clothes but a check of a few things on their computer confirmed that somehow, they'd passed the tests they'd never sat. Izzy too. Mackerel had apparently been 'nice' after all. Apparently the two had been granted time off for... something. An email in their inbox reminded them they were to return to college on Friday.
It was as if only three entities ever knew the truth of the two statues, and the two decided maybe it was better to try and keep it that way at least for the moment. But for now the pair enjoyed being alive again.
***
A few weeks later, and trying not to glare at Evan (who was being a jerk again) for the sake of Izzy, as they neared the mall. They held Izzy's hand carefully on the other side from the one in Evan's grasp, their bestie needing to get something here. She'd hidden why she felt anxious going there but Evan hadn't asked and just accepted it, though he'd seemed kind of grumpy about it after it was clear Evey was coming too. They figured maybe Evan was wanting some alone time with his GF? Eh, if he'd outright asked rather than pouting they might have agreed, but they kinda wanted to make sure Izzy would be okay all things considered...
And then they spotted something out front and almost screamed, but managed to make it a strangled gasp of shock instead. Izzy's hand squeezed hers hard.
"What's up? Oh, those? Don't tell me you're prudish about a little art, Evey..." Evan taunted, and looked at the two statues.
"Hey, the goofy one kinda looks like you! And the other..."
Evan trailed off, seemed a little flustered, and then coughed.
"A-anyway, let's get going, right, Izzy, don't wanna be here long?"
"N-no...." She said, as they kept walking past statues that shouldn't have existed any more.
Unless a certain fishy little prick had created duplicates to mess with them.
"...I am gonna turn him into sushi ," Evey growl-whispered to Izzy, who for all her anxiety, giggled.