Chapter Text
She gripped her forearm, small amounts of blood staining her fingernails and palm.
She refused to look at the man in the driver's seat next to her, her gaze lay on the window seeing the buildings, cars and people almost of view.
Her breath was slow and rusty, forcing the tears not to come.
The low rumbling of the car engine rang in her ears.
Hatoba's reflection in the window occasionally kept glancing at her. She noticed the shape of his eyebrows, curled in a way that suggests concern or worry.
She bit her lip, Hatoba obviously wants to talk to her about what happened earlier but… she doesn’t. She doesn’t feel ready to discuss this with him.
She just wants to stew in her thoughts as she watches the world whizz by in this car.
In silence.
The glass reflected his pursed lips, his wandering gaze, his fingers tapping on the steering wheel. He finally opens his mouth.
“You know Shinko…” Here it comes, the lecture. She was ready for him to start yapping but she - instead; heard him hold his words and breathe in. “Ya know what? Forget it.”
Hatoba grumbled as he kept his attention solely on the road. The ride was smooth, barely a bump. It was something she found calm and reassuring. The best thing about being in the car was the way the world just goes by you… well actually it’s the inverse.
You’re the one moving forward as the world just stays still - you’re just seeing another facet to it the more you travel. The smoother you go the more Shinko simply enjoyed it.
She lived for the day she can get her driver’s license.
She would book it in her car and go to who-even-knows-where?
She imagined speeding down a highway at 400MPH, letting go of the steering wheel and letting the car drift off for a bit until it inevitably slams into one of those railing things.
That would be quite the rush.
Those thoughts brought a smile to her face but the quickly faded as the memories intrusively came back.
she pursed her lips and lowered her head gently.
She forced her tears to stay inside of her eyelids as her mind began reciting the events of the day in her head.
They were teasing her - of course she wanted to do something.
She was just the lonely girl, the weird girl, the creepy girl.
So why not scare them a little?
She didn’t expect to take it that far…
It was supposed to be a punch.
One punch.
She didn’t even remember the way she did it even… all she could see was the blood splattering on the walls, she could hear the screams echo in her ears.
They still are.
They feel like distorted whispers, mocking her giving in to something…
She looked into the bathroom mirror, the first thing that caught her attention was the wicked grin on her face and the blood on her cheek.
Her first thought was how good she looked with a bit of blood on her… then the world finally came to when she saw her eyes.
They weren’t hers.
Whose eyes were they?
That was when she realised what it was she did… she wasn’t herself in that moment.
But was she really?
Did she enjoy this? This whole thing?
Was this what they wanted? What those people in the shelter wanted? Was that the plan all along?
Who was she?
“Shinko?” She snaps back to reality.
Still in the damn car, the world is no longer in motion outside the window - they stopped. Looking out the front windshield she can clearly see Hatoba’s house, It’s quite typical for the 24th Ward.
She slowly switches her gaze back at the man in the driver’s seat. Hatoba’s expression was that of concern.
“Say something, Shinko.” He said calmly.
Shinko slumps her head to the opposite side of the car, resting her forehead on the cold window.
“C’mon don’t be like that…”
She ignored him, her arms folded. She bit the inside of her cheek, it wasn’t punctured enough to seep blood on her tongue unfortunately.
“You were crying for a while.” She glances at her reflection in the mirror, he was right.
Her eyes had a light pink tint to them, her cheek was flushed, the noticeable markings of tears stained her face. She didn’t even notice the feeling of the tears until seeing them in the window.
“Look, it’s okay. Shinko.” Hatoba tries his best to sound as empathetic as possible. “You don’t have to tell me what happened.”
Shinko still gave him the silent treatment.
“I told them I knew someone from the HCU - that you’re uncle Tetsu put me in charge, I mean with me being your guardian and all… it’s quickly swept under the rug.” He chuckled awkwardly, in that old man way. In the ‘i know what i’m doing but i don’t know if it can make you happy’ sort of way’.
“Oh yeah, I have to tell Tetsu all about it. I dunno if he’d flip or not but it’s worth doing. Hope he gives me a freebie. I mean he owes me anyway.” The click of the seatlbelt was satisfying as he took it off.
“You coming, Shinko?”
She turned to him.
“Let’s say I make some Miso? The recipe that you really like? That sound good?” She stares at him for a moment, gazing into her eyes.
She lowered her gaze and her shaky arms took off the seatbelt, it awkwardly slumped back to its rightful place.
She then looks back at Hatoba and grabbed him with her arms.
“Woah there!”
She sunk her face onto his shoulder - the tears flowing back.
Hatoba calmly wraps his arms around her, his cheek brustling against her hair.
He kissed her forehead.
He rocked her back and forth for a while now.
“Are you okay now Shinko?”
She paused, staring back at him. “...yeah.”
He smiled, stroking her head.
“There we go! Didn’t say anything all day. Was getting worried you’d be like that forever.”
“As is…” She scoffed.
“Hah.” The door on his side opened. “C’mon lets get you inside.”
Shinko opened the door on her side stepping out. “You still owe me that miso, okay?”
“Yeah… I do.” He chuckled. “Anyway, need to help get you out of this mess scott free. I still want you going back to school soon. Might have to change schools if necessary.”
“Oh come on, Can I like… not go at all.”
Hatoba shook his head, bringing out his house keys. “You can stop going once you graduate highschool. I won’t bug you about college after the fact, that okay with you?”
“I still have to finish highschool?” She groaned.
“Yeah, what do you think? Finish Highschool then do whatever the fuck you want. You’re still fifteen.”
Grumbling she followed him inside.
That miso better be worth all of this.