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Shadowhunters thought they were all so slick but the downworld always knew when there was trouble in the air. It was a palpable feeling that would shift through them all, a silent warning drifting through the city with the promise of trouble.
Catarina had been one of the few that wasn’t in New York that decade. Theoretically, she’d have been spared but when Magnus called with the rumors, she portaled in the very next night. The two hadn’t taken any of it very seriously. They’d lounged on Magnus’ balcony sharing drinks and stories, every once and while stopping to listen to the quiet city around them.
New York was never quiet but tonight, their voices seemed to be the only ones echoing through the streets. Even the mundanes seemed to have enough mind to go inside and close their doors.
“It’s never good,” Magnus murmured at last. “They never know enough to shut up but tonight-” Magnus cut himself off but Catarina didn’t need him to explain what he meant any further. She remembered nights of rebellion, of parties in the boroughs of New York and of the entire downworld itching for a fight.
It was never a good sign when the rumors were so horrifying that it was enough to leave even the wildest of dark streets empty.
“We should go to bed,” Catarina responded finally. “I imagine we’ll have a long day tomorrow.”
Magnus nodded in agreement but neither of them moved. Instead, they sat in silence for a while longer. They stayed out there long enough that Catarina’s already blue fingers turned numb but still, neither of them moved to go inside until the morning light was peaking across the hazy skyline.
Catarina knew they’d both been waiting for someone to call down the street to a friend, to hear the chatter of conversation as people passed, to hear even a single footstep go down the sidewalk but there was nothing. That night, they might as well have been the only two left in New York.
They woke late in the morning the next day. Despite it all, it was nice. Catarina had been working so much the past few years. To wake up here with a friend and have nothing to worry of besides coffee and summoning breakfast was nice. But they did have something to worry about and they both knew it.
A few hours passed before Raphael phoned Magnus. Everyone at the hotel was antsy.
“Just stay inside tonight,” Magnus offered. “And call me, if there’s trouble.”
What else could he say?
Tessa called around six. When Catarina answered, Tessa’s voice was as bright and vibrant as it was every time they spoke but after a few moments, her voice dipped low. “I heard something,” Tessa started but Catarina was already opening her mouth to assure her everything was okay before she could finish.
“Do you want me to come?” Tessa asked.
For just a moment, Catarina longed for it. She imagined saying yes and watching a portal open before her. It had been so long since she’d last seen Tessa. She remembered a night on a yacht in the Caribbean bay. She remembered Tessa’s lipstick smeared across her face.
“No,” Catarina answered. “We’re fine. I’m sure nothing will happen anyway. It’s just rumors.”
Tessa let her go only after she promised she’d call if anything happened. Catarina was thankful she didn’t push harder and didn't insist on showing up anyway. If she had, Catarina might have given in. She might have swept Tessa away somewhere safe and left Magnus here to deal with his people on his own. Her heart would have hurt and she’d have felt like a traitor but she’d have done it, only for Tessa.
Instead, she hung up and turned with a bitter smile when Magnus asked how Tessa was.
“Good,” Catarina answered.
What else could she say?
It was nearly nine when word got to the them for the first time. Shadowhunters were lining up outside of the New York Institute. There were more than had ever lived in that big building, all of them new. There wasn’t a single face that any of them recognized.
That was the first thing Magnus heard that truly made him frown. Catarina knew he was wondering about Alexander. She knew he was hoping Alec had been sent back to Idris and not met some worse fate when he was found to be sympathetic to their cause.
It must be so hard to date a nephilim, Catarina thought. Then, she thought of Tessa across the ocean safe and for a moment, she was thankful.
The second they heard, Catarina could tell Magnus wanted to leap into action but there wasn’t anything left to do. All the children had already been taken out of the city. Anyone who wanted a portal to somewhere else had been given one. Anyone who was left here had chosen to stay and see what would happen.
Now, they would see.
They waited and waited. Around nine thirty, Raphael called again. He told Magnus of the shadowhunters marching through the streets. He told Magnus of the leaflets they carried, which were being pinned across the city.
“A change in the accords,” Raphael murmured.
“What changed?” Magnus asked.
“Nothing good,” Raphael responded.
And it wasn’t. It never seemed to be good news for them when something changed.
“How can they ban us from our own city?” Magnus asked. He paced across the room like he might find the answers he was looking for if he just kept walking in circles, searching.
“They’ve done worse before,” Catarina said quietly.
It was true and yet, it wasn’t. They had done worse, far worse but that had been centuries ago. It might as well be another life. For them to do this now, after all of their masquerading of how horrible the circle was, of how much they were trying to do things better - It felt impossible and yet, Catarina wasn’t surprised. She knew Magnus wasn’t surprised either. He’d lived long enough to know of all the hurt the nephilim could do.
That didn’t mean he was any less angry. Magnus spun with one of the leaflets held tight in his hand. Catarina could see it burning around the edges. She could smell the twinge of fire in the air. She didn’t notice at first but when she looked close, she could see tears burning in Magnus’ golden eyes.
Her heart ached at the sight of it. He’d always cared far too much. He didn’t have to be surprised to be just as angry as he was the first time a shadowhunter spat at him. Catarina wished she could sum even an ounce of that anger now. Of course, she cared. In the morning, when they had refused to flee following the order, people would be slaughtered but Catarina wasn’t angry.
The only thing she could feel was sorrow. It was always so pointless. She’d seen so much violence in her life and still, she couldn’t think of a single instance when it had meant anything.
“Go to Tessa,” Magnus told her finally. “It was wrong of me to call you. I shouldn’t have. I just -” Magnus' voice broke. “I just didn’t think -”
Catarina reached out for his arm. She squeezed gently as his elbow. She knew what he was trying to say. He just hadn’t thought they’d actually do it. He hadn’t thought any of it would really happen. It was too horrible to imagine.
“I can’t,” Catarina murmured. “I already told her everything was fine. You’d have me go and make a liar of myself?” She smiled when Magnus’ watery eyes turned up towards her but Magnus’ lips stayed pressed in a firm line.
“Ragnor would hate me if he knew I’d called you.”
Catarina pulled Magnus’ head until he laid against her neck. “No, he wouldn’t,” Catarina promised and she knew without a doubt that it was true.
She almost didn’t ask him. After all, she knew the answer before she tried. She knew exactly what Magnus would say. He’d tell her that he needed to stay with his people. He’d tell her that there was no way he was fleeing from his own city.
“Let’s both go,” Catarina tried anyway. “Tessa’s in England. It’s nearly morning there. We can go and have tea.”
Magnus seemed to think for a second before he turned to her, offering a crooked sad smile. “I can’t,” he murmured.
“Why?” Catarina asked, even though she suspected she already knew.
“Alexander,” Magnus responded simply.
That hadn’t been the answer she’d been expecting but once he said it, it all made sense. He’d always had a heart far too giving for his own good. Even now, with shadowhunters taking post across the city ready to slaughter them when the sun finally came up, he was worried about his darling angel.
“You should go though,” Magnus tried again. “I’ll be fine.”
Catarina only shook her head. Magnus was stupid and for nothing more than love but Catarina still couldn’t leave him here. Ragnor would hate her, if she did.
Tessa called her again around four in the morning. Catarina was sure that news had started to spread. Magnus had already called the other high warlocks. He’d made sure everyone knew they’d have passage to leave in a second, if they wanted to. Some did and no one looked down on them but most of them stayed.
After all, they’d been offered a portal once before and declined. If they were still here, this was their home and Catarina doubted they would go for anything.
New York wasn’t Catarina’s home though. She didn’t like the city, if she was being honest. It was too loud and too dirty. It never lived up to any of the films and when Catarina spent time away, she’d always come back to find herself disappointed but New York meant something to the downworld.
There were pockets of downworlders all across the world but in New York, they’d made a home. That was something Catarina could admire. They had their own clubs here, their own bars, their own stores and their own streets which were hidden away just for them. They had systems in place for downworld children who needed help and for fledglings and young werewolves needing guidance. In no other place in the world was the downworld as settled as it was here. Magic flowed in the bones of the city so strongly that Catarina thought the city might break if it ever stopped.
The downworld didn't have a capital the way the shadowhunters did but if they had to choose one, Catarina knew that it would be in New York. If any one place was worth fighting for, it was here.
Catarina thought of what Tessa might be doing now. She imagined her brewing tea in the morning. She imagined her wearing that pale blue nightgown she was so fond of. It always slipped off her shoulder and somehow, Catarina would always find herself pressing a kiss to the soft skin she’d find there.
When Catarina didn’t answer, she received a text. It was one of many that came after but she only read the first one before she moved to show Magnus.
‘They’ve closed the city of magic. That’s what Elinor says. Tell me it's not true.’
Magnus lifted his hand. A spark brewed in his palm before it died out into nothing.
They were magicless and they were trapped. Still, Catarina couldn’t find herself to be surprised. They’d always been so horrible. All the talk of reformation and people like Magnus always fell for it. For all his hard edges, he’d never wanted anything more terribly than he wanted peace for their people. He’d have given his own life, if he could get it for them.
Catarina had given up on peace long ago. Her eyes were to stained with blood and gore to ever dream of a world as peaceful as the one Magnus had always thought was right around the corner.
‘Portal to me,’ Tessa wrote. ‘You have to. You have to find a way out. You promised me.’
Catarina sent back one text, ‘I’m sorry. I lied. I love you.’
She turned off her phone and she tried not to imagine Tessa crying.
It was about an hour later when they finally came. Her and Magnus sat near the door with the windows open, waiting for the first sound of violence. For a long time, there was nothing but the thundering sound of footsteps and then finally, a knock on the door.
The sound had Magnus smiling. It felt so incongruous. How polite they were to knock, knowing they had them trapped here. They could have fled but if they’d wanted to, they’d have done so long before this. Now, Magnus rose to his feet and made his way towards the door. He opened it wide and peered outside.
Catarina couldn’t see but she knew what he was looking at. She knew they’d have sent nothing less than a full platoon to Magnus Bane’s door.
“What a surprise,” Magnus cooed.
A voice spoke back. “You’ve been ordered to leave the city.”
Catarina could tell the poor shadowhunter was shaken. To see a downworlder not quivering at the sight of them, it must have been terrifying.
Magnus raised his hand in response. The flame of magic died out before it was hardly visible. “And yet, I seem to find myself suddenly without transportation.”
At that, the shadowhunter seemed flustered. “You had more than enough time to evacuate the city,” the poor sap spit out finally.
“Ah, well I was too busy packing!” Magnus spun in a wide circle as if to show off all of his things. “How could you expect me to leave the home I’ve lived in for decades in one night?”
The shadowhunter stammered. He seemed to realize that Magnus was making fun of him but he didn’t seem to know how to handle it. Apparently, the script they’d been given didn’t account for Magnus’ charm.
“The order was clear,” the man said at last. “You had more than enough time to leave and now, you’re in violation of the accords-”
Magnus raised an eyebrow. “The accords that were amended overnight?”
The shadowhunter carried on as if Magnus hadn’t spoken, “You can turn yourself over to the authority of the Clave to face punishment or corrective action will be taken now.”
“Corrective action,” Magnus echoed.
In response, Catarina could hear the sound of countless swords being slid out of their holsters.
She stood up at last and Magnus’ eyes darted over to her before shooting back to the shadowhunters outside. Perhaps, he’d intended to hide the fact that she was there but that was stupid. They’d see her as soon as they stepped around Magnus’ body inside. They’d see her no matter what. Catarina was sure that the building was surrounded. There was no way they’d risk this first encounter going wrong. They’d come here first for a reason. As soon as the High Warlock was taken care of, it would send a message to everyone else that was left.
It would show them that no help was coming after all and that resistance was futile. Catarina could almost respect it, if she wasn’t so disgusted.
She almost tried to tell Magnus to turn himself in. Then, she imagined moving fast and hitting him across the head, so he passed out. She’d let the shadowhunters take him and then, she’d turn herself in as well. They sit in a cell and if they were lucky, the Clave would decide to expel them from New York and let that be it.
But Catarina knew that was nothing but a fantasy. The Clave would never let them go, even if they turned themselves in now. They were too powerful for that. The only thing they’d get from the Clave was a rigged trial and an execution date.
Instead, Catarina grabbed a fire poker from the wall. She’d placed it there a few hours ago, pretending to forget it even though her and Magnus both knew better.
Magnus backed up to give her room and when Catarina moved around the corner, the scene exploded into chaos. Catarina wasted no time. She dove forward, stabbing the first shadowhunter in the chest with the makeshift weapon. His sword dropped from his hands but Catarina grabbed it before it could clatter to the ground. The adamas burned her bare hand and when Magnus finally snatched the weapon away, she was bleeding.
She ignored it and pulled the fire poker away as she watched the eyes of the shadowhunters in front of her light in a crimson red. Catarina didn’t need to look to see the source of the light. Most people forgot that the princes of hell were part angel. Catarina knew that their holy weapon was a light with power in Magnus’ hands.
Maybe, that alone would be enough of a shock to give them an upper hand. Either way, Catarina knew that neither of them were going down without a fight. She dove forward. In a matter of minutes, she had a gash across her shoulder but she’d taken down two shadowhunters.
In the end, that would be something. It was no less meaningless than every other body she’d seen thrown across the floor before but Catarina was still thankful for it. In the end, the casualties wouldn’t be one sided. When the story of tonight was told, there would be at least two of them for the countless downworlders who would die at their hands.
Magnus managed a little better than she but with an angelic weapon in his hand, Catarina would have been offended if she wasn’t slightly overdone. Still, with a poor makeshift weapon like the one she was holding, she thought she did pretty damn well. Afterwards, her and Magnus might have sprawled on his lavish couch and talked about how absurd it was, of how the odds had been stacked against them so high and yet somehow, they’d managed their way out.
‘Stupid shadowhunters,’ she imagined Magnus saying, ‘I only wish some of them were left alive to talk about how they’d been outmatched by two warlocks without an ounce of magic.’
But that too was a fantasy and a moment later, when Catarina’s makeshift weapon fell to the ground, she knew that there was no way her and Magnus were stepping out of this alive. They’d known each other for centuries and they’d gotten into more trouble than Catarina cared to admit. At first, it had just been her and Magnus but then, Magnus had introduced her to Ragnor. After Ragnor, they’d met Tessa and then, Ragnor had left them. Now, it was only three.
They were running on borrowed time and they knew it. Without Ragnor, their little group was off kilter. With one of them gone, none of it made sense. It was only a matter of time before they found themselves in something they couldn’t get out of.
Catarina heard the sound of a blade clattering behind her. She didn’t even have to look to know that it was Magnus, dropping the weapon he’d stolen. For a moment, the entire fight seemed to go still. It would have been the perfect moment for some last dash at freedom but there was no play left for them.
They’d stayed and deep down, they knew they’d die for it. Now, they would prove their dedication. Despite it all, Catarina only had one regret. She thought of a fair skinned warlock with light brown hair and the most beautiful freckles across her face.
They would be leaving Tessa alone. She would be the only one left of the four of them and in a few centuries to come, she might be the only person who would remember them for who they were. Their names might be mentioned in a few books but Tessa would be the only one who knew the truth of them - who knew how much Ragnor loved those stupid romance novels, who knew how hopelessly Magnus loved the wrong people and who knew the true source of Catarina’s affection.
She would never have to consider if Catarina had loved anyone else. For as long as they’d known each other, it had only been Tessa. The years they went without seeing each other couldn’t erase how much Catarina loved her and even in death, Catarina knew that if any part of her were to go on, it would be the part that loved a girl more than anything else.
For just a moment, Catarina understood Magnus’ inexplicable desire to stay. What if Alexander was still in New York? What if he needed help? What if he came to Magnus and Magnus wasn’t here? Magnus stayed for more than a boy but Catarina knew that Alexander had been a large part of his decision. This was their home together. This was where they’d met and where they’d fallen in love. How could Magnus leave it all behind?
And if their roles had been reversed? If Catarina had fallen for a version of Tessa that grew up in the clutches of the nephilim, wielding a blade that burned her skin, would Catarina have stayed for her?
Of course, she would have. She’d have no other choice. She decided to stay to die for a lot less just now and she’d have stayed to die for so much more, if she was given the opportunity. It would have been an honor to die for Tessa but perhaps, it was an honor to die knowing she’d loved her at all.
For all the years she’d lived, she’d never understood what Tessa saw in her. She only knew that Tessa saw something that she held just as tender as Catarina saw when she looked at her in return.
Catarina didn’t close her eyes. When the blade was raised, she lifted a hand as if to catch it. She knew that when it came down, it would slice through her hand like it was butter and it would burn all the way through. She wondered if she’d feel it. She’d come so close to death on countless battle fields but she’d always lived long enough to know the pain of it. Now, she wondered if she’d die before a single nerve could tell her that something was wrong.
Catarina’s eyes stayed wide open and when the flames exploded behind her, it burned at the delicate skin there. Catarina’s whole side lit in a cascade of pain that burned so sweet. She could barely hear the shadowhunters shriek over the noise ringing in her ears - the familiar sound of too much magic, straining into existence where it didn't belong.
When she turned, the only thing she could see was Tessa standing in a blaze of magic. It was cracking through the air, explosive and out of control - the sign of magic barely contained and barely functioning as it slipped through whatever crack Tessa had managed to find in the nephilim’s tricks.
In the next second, she was grabbing them. The three of them fell backwards into a portal that burned the way a portal never had before. When they landed on the ground, undoubtedly somewhere far from the chaos of New York, they landed in a pile of blood, sweat and tears.
Somehow, Catarina found her way to her feet and when Tessa stood before her and clutched her arms, staring in horror and fury at the blood across her pale blue skin, Catarina dove forward and crushed her lips into Tessa’s own. She tasted blood that burned with angelic grace and magic. Catarina didn’t pull away until they were both gasping for air. It was only when she did that she noticed Tessa was trembling, either from exertion or anger or more realistically, a mix of the two.
Wordlessly, Catarina wrapped Tessa in her arms and pulled her close.
“You lied,” Tessa gasped. Catarina could feel the tears falling and hitting her neck where Tessa stood clutching at her ruined shirt. “Don’t you ever lie to me again,” Tessa managed.
Catarina let out a sharp laugh. “I won’t,” she promised but she knew deep her in heart that wasn’t true.
She’d lie to Tessa a million times over if it just might keep her safe and with everything that was to come, she imagined there might be a lot of opportunities in which she might want to keep Tessa safe. She also knew that there was no reason to say that aloud now. She’d lie now and she’d let them both feel comforted by it, so that in the future she just might be lucky enough to feel Tessa’s fury when she lied again.
At the very least, it would mean they’d both survived. She hoped more than anything that she’d be able to say that they’d all survived, even if she knew in her heart that there was no way Magnus would do anything less than burn himself alive to get his city back.
The worst part was that she knew she’d be right there with him again. She had to be. Ragnor would hate her if she did anything less but Catarina pushed thoughts of all of that away. She closed her eyes, she breathed in the scent of her love on fire and she tried to ignore the smell of blood in the air.