Chapter Text
La Guardia Airport – 6:05am, Thursday
Olivia Benson sat in the departure’s terminal of La Guardia airport. It was still dark outside as the sun had not yet risen that morning and Noah was sleeping with his head in his mother’s lap. Olivia anxiously scanned the area around them, checking passersby and awaiting the arrival of her friend. She had drug Noah out of bed around 4:30 that morning, quickly dressed him in jeans and a sweatshirt before throwing a variety of clothes into a small carry-on suitcase, along with his iPad and headphones. As Noah dozed on the couch, she double checked that she had his passport and a letter printed on NYPD stationary that explained the situation. Well…kind of.
***
Benson Apartment – 7:00pm, the night before
Olivia waited until she was certain that Noah was focused on his homework in his room before making the phone call.
“Hey Liv.” He answered lightly and Olivia could picture the small smile on his face.
“Rafael.”
There was a pause of silence. Olivia took a shuttering breath in as she tried to compose herself.
“Liv, what’s wrong?”
Olivia took another breath.
“Rob Miller came after me and Noah.” She finally managed to get out quietly.
“What?” Rafael exclaimed as it sounded like he dropped whatever he was holding in his other hand.
“The Feds dropped the charges. Miller is out of prison.” Olivia continued hesitantly as she tried with all her might to not start panicking.
“Wait, wait, wait, just…just hold on a minute. What do you mean he came after you and Noah?” Rafael asked. She could hear more rustling on his end of the line.
Olivia exhaled angrily as she remembered. She could work with anger. Anger was better than the pure terror she felt earlier.
“We’re in the middle of investigating a murder and Miller is involved. A couple hours ago, I got pulled over by a State Trooper. Noah was in the car. The Trooper let us go, but he made it clear that Miller’s reach is extensive.”
“Jesus, Liv. Are you guys okay?” Rafael’s concern was heard clearly over the phone.
“We’re fine, but Rafa, he tracked us down in a restaurant a few days ago, after he was released. He introduced himself to Noah…” more rustling and banging could be heard on Rafael’s end of the line, “…and we were in public! Now he’s stalking us and Nikki and…” There was a loud crash and Rafael swore.
“What the hell are you doing?” Olivia finally asked loudly as she checked to make sure she wasn’t disturbing Noah.
“Sorry, I was trying to get my stuff together and I knocked over the damn coat rack.” Rafael explained.
“Why?” She questioned irritably.
“It’s not like I meant to knock it over, Liv.” He protested.
“No, no! Why are you packing up your stuff? Its only…” Olivia trailed off as she checked the time and subtracted an hour for the time zone change, “…its only like 6 there.” Olivia asked. Rafael never left the office until at least 8:00pm, even now with his new elections job.
“I don’t…ugh…Liv I don’t have time. I have to run home and get a bag, no…there’s no time for a bag. I just have to get to the airport then when I get there, I’ll figure it out.” Rafael rambled as he continued to haphazardly throw his laptop, chargers, notepads, and other things into his briefcase.
“What...? Are you coming here?” Olivia stuttered as she tried to figure out what she was hearing on the other end of the line.
“Obviously! You just said Miller came after you and Noah, what do expect me to do?” He asked indignantly.
Olivia shook her head as she brought a hand to her temple and scrunched her eyes together, the conversation was getting more heated by the second.
“What exactly are you going to do when you get here, threaten to SUE him?”
There was abrupt silence then Rafael’s fumbling reply.
“Well…I can…I uhhh, I don’t know. It doesn’t matter! I’ll figure it out when I get there.”
Rafael was slamming drawers closed at this point, doing a poor job of concealing his frustration and anxiety of the situation.
“Rafael, just stop, please just stop. You can’t just leave.”
“Why the hell not?”
“It’s the middle of the week!”
“Yeah. And a narcistic, controlling, and well-connected psychopath is threatening you and Noah. I’m getting on the next flight to New York and…I don’t know, I’ll do something."
“You have a job, Rafael! There, in Iowa!” Olivia protested, even though she wasn’t sure why.
“Screw the job, Liv! You and Noah are more important.”
They breathed together in silence, both realizing the irony of the situation. The last time he left his job, he left them behind. Physically, at least. He still called and texted, made sure to Facetime with Noah. But he still left. Suddenly realizing he may be overstepping, Rafael tried to back track.
“Liv, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed anything. I didn’t mean to just insert myself into this. I just…I just feel like I need to do something. But you’re right, I have no idea what I would be able to do. I’m sorry.”
Olivia could hear his desk chair scrape against the floor as he sat back down.
“Don’t be. I can handle him coming after me, but… I can’t have Noah in danger.” Olivia admitted.
Rafael ran a hand through his hair as he contemplated the situation. He knew Miller was bad news, had even told Olivia that when she let him know about her suspicions several months ago. But that was before Miller had been arrested. Before he had a clear target in his mind: Olivia. There was no telling what Miller would do. As much as it pained him to admit it, there wasn’t a single thing Rafael could do to help. Olivia and the squad could take care of themselves, and he would likely just be another person in the way.
“Can Lucy take Noah to her parents in Jersey again?” Rafael asked, remembering the case with Ron Duca and the fake, turned legit, sex trafficking ring all those years before.
Olivia shook her heard even though Rafael couldn’t see it.
“No. Miller is ruthless, and I don’t want to drag her or her family into this.”
Rafael let out a deep sigh as he tried to think of other options.
“Rafael, I’m scared, and I don’t know what to do.” Olivia whispered into the phone. Never had she missed him so much since his departure than right now. If he was here with her, they could figure something out. If he were by her side like he used to be, they could conquer anything. But he wasn’t. And she wasn’t going to let him just drop his job and potentially risk the wrath of Rob Miller just so she could have the comfort of her friend. Even if just hours ago she would have given anything to have him back with them.
It wasn’t fair.
“Bring him here.” Rafael said softly, thoughtfully.
“What?”
“Bring Noah here.” He said with more confidence. “He will be out of harm’s way. It’s doubtful that Miller has reach all the way out here in Iowa. Hardly anyone in New York knows I’m out here, and Miller has no reason to suspect that I of all people would have him.”
“I don’t know…I trust you, but I can’t discreetly take a day and fly out there and it’s not like I can just send Noah alone on the plane.” Olivia objected as she thought through his offer.
“Then I’ll come to you.”
“No, we’ve already been through this…”
“No, Liv, I can meet you in New York and fly back with Noah. Then when its safe I can fly with him back to New York for you.” Rafael said, sure that his plan would work.
“Rafael, I… you can’t just watch Noah - ”
“Why not?” He interrupted her.
“Well for one you have a job - ”
“Already told you, not important.” Rafael fired back.
“And we don’t know how long this is going to be before its safe - ”
“How long until you make an arrest?” Rafael asked quickly before she could continue her train of thought. Olivia released a frustrated sigh.
“The squad is currently looking for enough evidence and we’re hoping to have a warrant in the next day or two, before Miller can escalate.”
“Two days? Did you tell Stone about the intimidation? He might be able to convince a Judge to sign something a little faster if the suspect is threatening witnesses and a police Lieutenant.”
“He knows about Nikki, but I haven’t told him about tonight yet. I just wanted to get us home as soon as I could after.”
“Make sure you tell him first thing in the morning then.” Rafael muttered as his mind continued to race. “Ya know, it would be fairly believable to say that there was some family emergency that Noah had to leave town for.” He continued cautiously.
Olivia laughed out of exasperation as she considered his offer once more. It really would make her feel better if Noah was out of the city for a while, at least until they could arraign Miller. There were only a few people that she would trust with her own life, and even fewer that she would trust with her son’s.
Rafael was definitely on the short list for both.
“Are you really offering to do this?” She asked him warily.
“I really am. But Liv, it’s up to you and whatever you are comfortable with. If you want me in New York, I’m there. If you want me and Noah here, we’re here.” He took a breath, “If you want me to just stay out of it then I’ll be here for you to talk to. I will do whatever it is you need me to do.”
Olivia was so tired of thinking and worrying. Worrying about Nikki and her daughter. Thinking about the case. Worrying about Miller’s disregard for others. Thinking about what more she could be doing.
Worrying about Noah.
Rafael, her greatest friend, was offering his help. He was giving her an opportunity to make sure the one person she loved above all else could be safe. How could she say no?
“Okay.” For the first time since Miller was in the same restaurant as her and Noah, she felt like she could breathe again. “When can you meet us at the airport tomorrow?”
“There’s a flight from Des Moines that should arrive just after 6:00 am in La Guardia.” Rafael supplied quickly. “Then the next flight back to Iowa is at 7:30am.”
Olivia’s face broke out into a smile as she could feel some of the tension leaving her body.
“You already looked up a flight?” She asked unnecessarily.
“I look up that flight probably once a week.” Rafael confessed.
Olivia’s heart skipped a beat.
“Yeah?” she asked, and Rafael let out a small laugh.
“No, it’s more like two to three times a week. You never know when the opportunity to fly to New York may hit, it’s good to be prepared.” Olivia smiled at the revelation.
“Thank you, Rafael, for doing this.”
“Of course, I will always be there for you and Noah.” Rafael told her assuredly, hoping that she believed him.
“I know, Rafa. It means a lot to me.”
They both sat in silence, contemplating what was about to happen.
“See you in the morning?” Olivia asked as a way of confirmation that they were doing this.
“I’ll see you just after 6:00.” Rafael said confidently.
“See you then.”
***
La Guardia Airport – 6:13am
Olivia checked the arrivals on her phone once more. The plane had landed just a few minutes ago, but she was impatiently waiting for Rafael to make his way through baggage claim and to loop back around to departures. She had held off buying Noah a ticket until Rafael got there to ensure they had adjoining seats on the trip back to Iowa.
This is crazy. Olivia thought as she looked down at her son.
Her heart clenched with anxiety as she considered how this would be the longest, she had ever been away from him. Even if they arrested Miller in the next day or two, there is no telling how long the trial would last. It could be a week or two before she could feel safe hugging her son again.
No, once the arrest was made, Noah could come home, right? It would be safe?
Olivia knew that it would be a risk. Clearly, Miller had connections in various levels of law enforcement and the criminal justice system.
As she was about to check her phone for the umpteenth time since their arrival, she saw Rafael out of the corner or her eye. She lifted up an arm to draw his attention and wave him over towards them. Once he spotted them, Olivia gently nudged Noah back awake.
“Noah, it’s time to get up baby.” She said quietly as she pushed his curls back.
Noah groaned a little as he opened his eyes, squinting as he tried to take in his surroundings.
“Do we get to see the surprise now?” He asked sleepily. Sitting up, Noah tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes.
Olivia hadn’t told Noah what they were doing when she woke him up that morning, not wanting to get his hopes up in case something happened with their plan, and not wanting his plethora of questions she knew he was going to have if he found out they were going to see Rafael that morning. And if she were honest with herself, Olivia didn’t think she was ready to tell him about a trip to Iowa with an unknown return date. Luckily, Noah was easy going and accepted her vague explanation of some kind of surprise at the airport. Olivia wasn’t even sure he noticed the small suitcase she had dragged with them.
“We sure do, look over there.” Olivia pointed in Rafael’s direction. Dressed in a blazer, button down shirt, and dark jeans instead of one of his usual three-piece suits, it took Noah a moment to recognize his uncle. But once he did, he was up and running.
Rafael saw Noah coming towards him and gently knelt on one knee to be at the boy’s level when he received the sprinting hug, laughing when Noah’s small frame collided with his own.
“Noah, how’s it going buddy?”
“Uncle Rafa, are you my surprise?” Noah asked against Rafael’s chest. Rafael looked up as Olivia approached, hoping for a sign as to what she had told Noah.
“Kind of.” Rafael said as they drew back, Noah’s hands still gripping the sides of Rafael’s jacket.
Olivia drew up beside them with Noah’s suitcase.
“Noah, you’re going to go spend some time with Uncle Rafa in Iowa. Have a bit of a boy’s only trip, how does that sound?” Olivia asked him.
“Really?” Noah exclaimed, smiling brightly at his uncle.
Rafael smiled at the young boy, deeply touched by his enthusiasm.
“Does that sound like something you’d want to do?” Rafael asked him.
“Yeah! Uncle Rafa, we are going to have so much fun, aren’t we?” Now that Noah was quite literally jumping with joy, Rafael stood up to greet Olivia.
She was standing next to him, her knuckles white as she gripped Noah’s suitcase. Rafael reached out and lightly drew her into a hug. Olivia released one hand from Noah’s bag to return the hug, wrapping her arm around his back and she drew him close.
“It’s good to see you, Rafa.” She whispered into the side of Rafael’s neck.
“You too, Liv. Wish it was under better circumstances.” He told her quietly, so Noah didn’t hear.
Olivia sniffled before drawing away just enough to look at him. This was the first time they had seen each other in person in a few months, and it was right before he was going to leave her again. She could see his own anxiety in his eyes, but he was clearly masking most of it, for her or for Noah she wasn't sure. Not prepared to have a break down in the middle of the airport, Olivia simply reached up to run a hand briefly across his new beard.
“I still can’t believe you have a beard.” She quipped at him. Rafael smiled at her, but she also knew he saw through the redirect. Taking her lead away from the emotional, Rafael looked back at Noah.
“Well, what do you say Papito, are you ready to go on an adventure?”
“I’m so ready!” Noah turned to grab his bag from his mother, clearly ready to go.
Olivia looked from her excited son to her best friend.
“Rafa, I hope you have some big plans. You’re really selling this whole Iowa thing.” Olivia whispered to him. Rafael was still smiling as he replied, “I keep telling you, I’ll figure it out when we get there.”
Olivia rested her head against his shoulder for a moment longer, trying to commit this moment, Rafael’s presence, and Noah’s jubilation, to memory.
“How about you Liv, are you ready?”
Olivia shook her head against him.
“No, but I guess I don’t really have a choice.” She muttered darkly.
Rafael drew his eyebrows together as he looked down at her. Olivia looked exhausted. Between the case and worrying about Noah, she clearly was running on only a few hours asleep. Rafael reached into his pocket and withdrew his phone, entering his passcode quickly and opened a random game.
“Hey, Noah, why don’t you go sit there for a moment and see if you can beat my high score while I talk to your mom about all the fun we’re going to have.” Rafael handed his phone over and pointed to the chairs Olivia and Noah had previously been sitting in. Noah looked from the phone back up to Rafael and his mother. He evidently knew they were trying to get rid of him for a moment, but he didn’t really care because his Uncle always had the best games. With Noah suitably distracted for the moment, Rafael turned to fully face his friend.
“Liv, this needs to be your choice. Noah is your son, and you are in control of what happens here. If you want him to stay, he stays, if you want me to watch him in Iowa, we go to Iowa.” Rafael told her sincerely. “There is no pressure here Liv, it’s completely up to you.”
Olivia took a deep breath as she looked at him.
“Iowa is the best decision, for now. It feels like it may break my heart, but Noah isn’t safe in New York until Miller has been dealt with.” As convincing as Olivia sounded, Rafael could still see her fear and anxiety. It was understandable and he felt it too.
“I’ll take care of him, I promise.” He vowed solemnly.
“I know.” Olivia told him as she wiped away a single tear. Rafael looked at her and his heart filled with grief on her behalf. Not knowing how else to ease her fears, he combed back some of her hair that had fallen into her face, letting his hand rest there for a second. Het gently stroked her cheek with his thumb as he cupped the side of her face.
“You’re going to get through this. And as soon as it’s over, we will be on the first flight back home.”
Home
Olivia nodded her head and looked up at the ceiling to try to clear her eyes as Rafael dropped his hand from her face. After giving her a moment to compose herself, Rafael asked her again.
“Ready, Liv?”
She nodded and put on a smile so she wouldn’t alarm Noah. Rafael grabbed her hand as they walked over to collect him and head to the ticketing desk. Rafael purchased two tickets on the next flight departing for Iowa. Oliva begrudgingly let Rafael pay for the ticket, accepting his glare and whispered reasonings.
“Credit card records are not very stealthy, Liv. You should know that.”
“Fine, but I will pay you back.”
Rafael leveled a stare at her as the airline employee printed their boarding passes.
“You will do no such thing. Let me do my part so you can focus on yours.”
Olivia decided the issue could be tabled for a later time and let him have the win. For now.
Olivia walked with Rafael and Noah through the security line, the adults still hand in hand. Noah was taking everything in around him, having not been in an airport in his living memory. He was also asking Rafael what they were going to do in Iowa, asking about county fairs and rodeos, the things on TV he had seen and assumed were the only things to do outside of the city.
“Noah we’re going to Iowa, not the wild west.” Rafael commented jokingly. Noah stopped suddenly and looked at his uncle with confusion.
“Are they not the same thing?” He asked and Olivia had to turn her head back into Rafael’s shoulder to stifle a laugh.
Rafael laughed at his young friend.
“No, buddy, they are not. We’ll find some fun things to do, I promise, you just have to be patient.”
Noah rolled his eyes, something that Olivia would normally never let him get away with, but he learned it from Rafael, so it seemed only justified to let the attitude slide. As they approached the front of the line for security, Rafael felt Olivia’s grip tighten ever so slightly. He gave her hand a strong squeeze before releasing it.
“Noah, time to give you mom a hug goodbye.”
Olivia bent down to wrap her arms around her son, committing the feeling to memory.
“Bye, Mom, I love you.” Noah said as he hugged her. Noah was eager to get through security to go on his adventure with his Uncle but was patiently putting up with his mother’s fussing.
“I love you too, Noah. Be good, listen to your Uncle Rafa. I’ll call you when I can, I promise.”
“Okay Mom, I will.” Suddenly noticing that no one told him how long this adventure was going to be, Noah voiced his only concern. “When are you picking me up, Mom?”
Olivia swallowed then cleared her throat before answering.
“Uncle Rafa is going to bring you back when you guys are done, okay?”
“But when is that?”
Olivia gave Noah what she hoped was a reassuring smile.
“It’ll be soon, baby.”
Her answers seemed to have alleviated his fears as he eagerly tried to see how many people were in front of them.
Rafael gave Olivia’s hand a small tug, drawing her attention back to him. Not wanting to make the moment of separation any more difficult, he simply gave her hand one last squeeze of reassurance and a smile. Olivia gave his hand a squeeze back, then unexpectedly leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the side of his face.
“Thank you, Rafa. For everything.”
Rafael looked at her, slightly shocked by her actions, and said the only thing he could think of in the moment.
“You got this.” It was simple. To anyone else it would be almost dispassionate. But to them, that simple phrase held so many memories and so much emotion. It was a phrase they had exchanged countless times before. During cases and during trials, personal as well as professional.
It was exactly what she needed to hear.
Rafael and Noah were next in line with the TSA officer, so Olivia ducked below the security stanchion. Rafael presented his passport along with Noah’s and handed over the letter that Olivia had typed up late last night, explaining that Noah was traveling with his uncle to Iowa to visit a family member on hospice care. A final goodbye for a family member was a ruse that few people would question.
Olivia watched as Rafael helped Noah take off his shoes and took the iPad out of his suitcase and put it in a security bin. Rafael then grabbed his own laptop out of his carry on and placed it, and his own shoes, into their own bins. After making it through security, Olivia lost sight of them. As she turned around to begin to leave, her phone rang. Seeing Rafael’s name light up her home screen, she quickly turned back towards where she last saw them and answered the call.
“Rafael, is something wrong?” She asked him immediately.
“No, Liv, we’re fine. Turn to your right.”
Olivia did as instructed and saw them both against a wall of glass. Noah was in Rafael’s arms, hiked up as high as Rafael could hold him with only one arm to support his weight. Noah was waving wildly at her, a smile on his face.
“We wanted to say bye one more time.” Rafael explained cheerfully as he passed the phone to Noah.
“Bye, Mom! I love you! I’ll make sure that Uncle Rafa gets you something good on our trip!” Noah told her eagerly.
Oliva brought her other hand to her mouth, trying to stop herself from tearing up again.
“That’s very sweet, Noah. Tell Uncle Rafa that I want something really expensive.” She joked. She watched as Noah lowered the phone slightly and heard him relay the message through the speaker. She saw Rafael tilt his head back as he laughed. When he looked at her again, he simply gave her a thumbs up. Noah brought the phone down so that both he and Rafael could hear her as well.
“We love you, Mom!” Noah yelled into the phone.
“I love you guys too. Please be careful.” Olivia responded as she locked eyes with Rafael again. Rafael took the phone back and placed Noah on the ground.
“I’ll send lots of pictures. Take care of yourself, Liv. We’ll be back as soon as we can, I promise.” Rafael told her. Rafael disconnected the call, grabbed Noah’s hand, and turned to walk to their gate.
Olivia stood there, watching the empty spot they had been for a few moments longer before turning and heading back to her car. Once there, she allowed herself a few tears of anxiety before her phone dinged. She checked the notification and saw her first photo.
Noah was digging into an airport McDonalds breakfast, his face already covered in syrup and crumbs.
Rafael: I thought you taught this kid table manners, Benson, was the text that followed.
Olivia laughed loudly in the privacy of her car before responding.
Olivia: I did. I guess it’s time for you to help him brush up on his dinning habits. She responded
Olivia turned her car on and started heading back to the precinct. She mentally began cataloguing the things she had to do when she got to the office. She had to call Noah’s school, give them the same line about Noah traveling to Iowa for an ill family member. She had to call Stone and get him caught up on anything they found and tell him about Miller’s latest intimidation tactic. She had to –
Another ding from her phone. As desperately as she wanted to check the notification then and there, she waited until she was able to pull into a parking spot at the precinct. It was another photo of Noah eating breakfast. He was just as messy, but he had tucked a McDonald’s napkin into his shirt to catch some of the mess.
Rafael: Challenge accepted
Olivia beamed.
Noah will be safe with Rafael.
She had been repeating that mantra all morning, trying to convince herself that she was making the right decision.
Now, she repeated it to herself with confidence, reminding herself that her son was taken care of. He was with her best friend, far away from any danger.
Olivia stepped out of her car with renewed determination.
She was going to catch Rob Miller and send him to prison for the rest of his life.
Then, she was going to get her son back.