Chapter Text
"Come on, don't be a baby!" Luke calls from the other side of the fence.
I just watched him climb effortlessly over the top, now illegally on the other side. I debate with myself for a long while about whether I should follow, the sign warning a fine or jail time for being caught on the other side of the fence appears to mock me. Just as I'm about to tell Luke that I'm going to leave, he calls out once again.
"Michael, you'd come over if you really loved me!" He shouts, a sharp tone present in his voice. And fuck, he really has me wrapped around his finger. Of course I love him, but is this too far?
If Ash found out about what we're doing he'd kill me; he'd probably kill Luke first and then me, but I digress. I let out a sigh before climbing the fence. I drop down on the other side, my shoes crunching down on the gravel, there's no turning back now, it's officially against the law to be here.
"Knew you loved me," Luke sounds happy, well as happy as he tends to get. He offers a smug smile before turning around. His shoes grate against the ground as he spins around rather theatrically, and I raise an eyebrow.
"Where are we going?" I ask, not knowing what Luke’s plan is. He seems to freeze for a second and the air suddenly feels cold.
"You'll see. Now follow me and stay out of sight," He doesn't turn to me when he talks, instead letting the harsh wind carry his voice to me. And then he starts walking, not looking as though he's trying to stay out of sight. I jog a little to catch up to him, walking beside his slightly taller frame as we both don't say a word.
We walk for a long time, never once seeing another person or speaking another word to each other. My heart is racing faster and faster the further we walk, but Luke finally stops walking and I let out a shuddered breath.
"We're here," He deadpans, and I thought he'd be more excited to get to wherever we are. There doesn't seem to be anything special here, just more gravel along with the same train line we followed the whole way down here.
Luke side steps a few times until he's standing on the tracks, and this makes my heart sink a little. He stretches his arms out to his sides, closing his eyes as he tilts his head up to relish in the breeze and the blistering hot sun. He looks like he just conquered Mt Everest, rather than what he's really done. Stood on a bloody train track.
"Luke what the hell are you doing?" I ask, trying to keep my voice playful enough so he doesn't get annoyed at me. I watch as he inhales deeply, taking in the scent of the summer air, thick and somewhat flowery. He lowers his arms and turns to look at me, opening his eyes, letting his beautiful blue irises burn holes in me.
"I'm living while we all still can," He says, and he's serious, his voice unwavering. I raise an eyebrow at his statement, not exactly sure of what he's getting at, but whatever it is it's probably not too important, he tends to speak complete and utter nonsense.
"Get off of the train tracks stupid," I roll my eyes at him, but this seems to set something off in Luke. He swallows deeply and looks almost
scared
for a second, which is so
un-Luke,
before he lays down on the track.
"Lu stop being stupid, get off of the track," I speak, a little more urgently this time as I notice my pounding heart at Luke’s recklessness.
"You're disturbing the serenity," Luke sing-songs out, closing his eyes to hide from the harsh rays of sun. His arrogance makes my blood boil, and so I keep arguing with him.
"Your dismembered body after you get run over by a train will disturb the serenity more, get up," I try to sound like I have some kind of authority over Luke, but he just opens one eye, lifting his head and squinting through the sun at me before laying his head back down.
"Well let's save the serenity disturbing until that happens," His velvety voice says. Sometimes I think that Luke is losing his accent, sounding less Australian by the day. I worry about Luke, his slipping personality that used to be so lively and friendly, now dull and lifeless. I only catch glimpses of the old Luke when he's around others, and I always cling desperately to the hope that he'll come back. He's not even the same as he always was around me.
"You know that this isn't funny Luke, you're being reckless," I keep trying to convince him to get off of the track, but he doesn't seem to want to listen.
"I'm finding it quite amusing really," He laughs out, and his laugh is ever perfect. He bites his lip ring after laughing, and I momentarily forget that he's still laying on the train tracks.
I so desperately want to punch the smile off of Luke's lips, but I'm too busy pacing, trying to think of something to say to get Luke to move, letting my shoes crunch down on the gravel once again. I doubt that anything I say will make Luke budge, his stubbornness being one of his worst traits.
"Just get up Luke, this is dumb, even for you," I say, and my heart is really racing now. He doesn't move, his eyes still staying closed, and I can practically hear him thinking.
"Fine, help me up," He says unamused. I let out a sigh, because thank god . I step closer to Luke before letting my hand down to him. He grabs my hand, but before I can pull him up, he quickly pulls my arm, sending me falling down and on top of him, on the track.
"What was that for? Lu let me go!" I shout when I realize how tight his grip is on me.
He lets me go but I don't move immediately. Our faces are so close and in another life I'd just want to close the gap between them. I roll off of Luke and on to the ground next to the tracks, and Luke still doesn't budge.
“A train should be coming soon Mike, how about we disturb this peacefulness?” Luke's tone is sad, nothing like his earlier amused voice and it completely changes the mood of the conversation.
“Luke, get off of the fucking track,” My tone is rightfully pissed off now as I practically beg Luke to move. He laughs sadly as he doesn’t move, he’s fucking insane.
“Usually I can handle your recklessness Luke, but this is a whole other level, just stand up and come with me and we can talk about this!” I shout, even though there is no reason to be raising my voice.
“Disturbing the peace Michael,” He speaks softly, and I watch as he once again takes in the scent of the air, placing his arms out to his sides as he lays like a starfish across the rails. Luke looks peaceful as he lays on the track, nothing like how he should be behaving knowing that there is a train somewhere in the distance.
My heart stops for a second when I see it. All the way down the line on the edge of my line of sight is the train that Luke knew is coming. I can barely see the train, but it’s so, so real, and I start to silently panic.
“The 10:45 train Michael, we have three minutes,” He says with some level of excitement buried in the sadness. What exactly is he planning on doing? Does he want to die?
I stay held up on that thought for a while as I look down at the blonde; does he want to die? Is Luke reckless because he secretly wants each careless act to kill him? I look back up toward the horizon where the train is considerably closer.
“Luke, this isn’t funny anymore, get off,” I say desperately, leaning down to grab his hand and attempt to drag him off of the track. If he won’t move himself, I guess I’ll have to move him. He pulls his hand out of my grasp rather aggressively, and he finally opens his piercing blue eyes.
“ Jesus Christ Michael, can’t you see that I don’t want to move?” His voice is furious, and I take a step back from him. I both love Luke and am terrified of him at the same time. His personality changes too rapidly to keep up with, one minute he’ll be happily laughing with me, and then the next he’ll be screaming directly at me, not talking to me again for days on end. Sometimes he’s just too much to handle.
“Luke, don't do this with me right now okay? I don’t care what you want, come with me and we can just talk, please, ” He continues to stare daggers into me as I try to reason with him, and I’m not entirely sure he’s even listening to a word I’m saying.
“Go away,” He replies simply, closing his eyes once again before resting his head back on the ground. The train is getting closer now, and so I decide that I have to do something.
It's a dumb move, but I push Luke off of the tracks, and he looks furious. He's quick to get to his feet, aggressively pushing me at the shoulders and almost knocking me over in the meantime.
"Luke calm down!" I practically scream at him, trying to place a somewhat comforting hand on his shoulder, in utter disbelief that any of this is actually happening. Luke's eyes are full of anger, his pupils oddly dilated as he stares at me.
And before I can even process what's happening, it's too late. Luke swings his arm through the air, letting his fist connect with the side of my nose with a crack, sending blood pouring down my face. It takes a second for the pain to kick in, but when it finally does it leaves me feeling dizzy.
"What the fuck Luke!?" I speak, holding my nose as the sharp pain leaves tears pooling in my eyes. The smell of blood in the air combined with the strangely familiar scent of rusty tracks in the vicinity is overwhelming. A flash of guilt sparks up in Luke's eyes, but the light is quick to burn out.
I watch as Luke pushes past me, ignoring the fact that he just punched me in the face entirely, he stands on the tracks once again, facing the hurtling train. I can hear the loud horn of the train as it barrels ever closer to Luke and he closes his eyes, tilting his head back to the sky.
The train horn gets louder and louder as it gets closer to Luke and my own voice has to battle with it to get to Luke.
"Luke get off of the track!" I practically scream out to him, but he doesn't move.
"You'll fucking die,
move!
" I yell, my voice desperate when I realize that the train is now too close. The blonde doesn't even react to my words, his eyes still closed and head tilted back as he stands in the path of the train. In the path of death.
I have to do something, and my body moves before my brain can even catch up. I run at Luke, pushing him at his shoulders to get him on the ground, but more importantly, off of the railway. The sound of the horn is deafening as the train screeches past where Luke was previously standing.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I breathlessly ask Luke when I turn back to him. He looks full of fury as his gaze follows the end of the train before his electric blue eyes lock on my eyes.
"You ruined it you fucking idiot!" Luke yells at me, standing up and walking closer to me looking beyond enraged, pressing his finger accusingly at my chest. I flinch back from Luke, scared that he might punch me again if I'm not quick enough to move out of the way, but no blow seems to come.
Luke looks full of regret. A sudden and drastic change to his previous fury, the regret on his face momentarily breaks my heart.
"Fuck, Michael I'm so sorry I- I don't know what happened I-" Luke sounds breathless. As he's on the verge of hyperventilating, I take a step closer to his shaky frame before cautiously enveloping him in a hug.
We stay here for a while, my arms protectively wrapped around the slightly taller boy's figure as he buries his head in the crook of my shoulder. It's not long before we leave the railway, quickly making our way into the forested area of land that sits a hundred or so meters from the tracks.
Neither Luke nor I speak to each other, the silence between us doing enough talking. The tall and usually intimidating boy now looks small and scared as he walks behind me, knowing that he was the cause of the dried blood on my face.
This time I lead the way, making sure we get out of this 'illegal zone' of land before we get caught. Luke trails just behind me, his feet, wrapped in black converse, drag along the ground as he walks.
Considering what just happened, the weather today is one of the most perfect days we've had in a long time. The sun shines through gaps in the trees as we walk, and the breeze is just enough to keep the sun from making me sweat.
I've always thought of Luke as philosophical, even though he's a right ass of a human being, he has a fucking intelligent mind. Even the way he speaks, you can tell that he knows what he's talking about. But at the moment he just seems lost. He's so un-him, and it wrecks me. I always want Luke to act a little more normal, but now I know it definitely doesn't suit him at all.
"Luke I mean this in the nicest way possible because I love you and care about you, but why are you such a reckless person?" I ask him, turning my head back as we both continue to walk. Luke looks as though he's desperately trying to hold himself together, once again looking scarily intimidating as he seems on the edge of falling apart.
"None of your business," His voice is soft yet sharp at the same time, and so I decide to drop the subject for the time being.
We eventually reach a fence, and I make sure that Luke climbs over first before I follow him. I land heavily on the concrete, slightly lightheaded from the earlier blood-loss. Luke stands a few feet from me, his arms crossed as he watches me looking somewhat frustrated that I need to steady myself.
We walk beside each other, a meter or two between us as we stay deathly silent. I'm concentrating too intently on the sound of our shoes heavily treading on the footpath to notice that Luke had actually started talking, but when I finally tune in to what he's babbling on about I have no idea what he's saying.
"Have you ever thought about how much time we spend
getting places?
" Is where I pick up on what Luke is saying, and I'm sure that even if I had heard from the beginning I wouldn't have a clue what he is on about.
"We spend so long walking through hallways just to spend minimal time in a certain room before leaving and walking down the hallway again! It's fucking unnecessary!" Luke says a little too loudly, and a mother with her children gives him a glare as we walk past them.
There's an odd passion in Luke's eyes and voice, and once Luke is dead set on an idea, he won't let it go. This is one of those things. He'll spend a week or so hung up on the idea before he completely drops it and forgets about it, as if it fully consumes him until it can't consume anymore and it moves on.
We finally reach Ash's house after a long while of walking, and I knock rhythmically on the door, habit. Luke looks unamused being here although this is the first time, his arms crossed and eyes bored as he stands with me waiting for Ash to open the door. The door soon opens, a momentarily joyful looking Ashton Irwin greeting me before he sees the dried blood on my face, and more importantly, Luke .
"Shit, Mikey what happened, why is
he
here? The amount of concern in Ashton's voice is immeasurable, but when it comes to mentioning the blonde his tone shifts to becoming more displeased.
"Get off of my property," Ashton's voice is sharp as he aims the words at Luke, and the blonde just laughs a little.
"No Ash, just hold on, can we please come in? Yes Luke too," I speak quickly before an argument can break out between the two polar opposite boys. The smug look still sits on Luke's lips and he knows exactly what he's doing. He's too good at being frustrating.
"Luke don't you dare touch anything, or so help me god ," Ashton tells Luke as he points a finger in his direction. Luke and Ashton's eyes are shooting daggers in each other's direction before Ashton gives in and orders us to follow him inside. Ashton takes us in the direction of the kitchen to get the blood cleaned off of my face. Luke hangs back a little, leaning against the doorway as Ash rubs the crimson liquid from my face with a face cloth.
"You have to tell me what happened, I don't think it's broken but fuck," Ashton says, his hazel eyes connecting with mine for a moment before breaking away to give Luke a dirty look. I don't think Ash and Luke will ever get along, they're too different that it'd probably be impossible for them to have a civil conversation without arguing.
"Don't flip out Ash, but Luke punched me," I keep my voice quite flat as I tell Ashton, but I don't think that I could change Ashton's reaction to those words in any way, regardless of how I admitted them.
"Get the fuck out of my house!" Ashton raises his voice at Luke before I can even begin to explain. Luke just smiles at Ashton's words, and he's getting exactly what he wants.
"I don't think I will," He says, crossing one of his legs over the other whilst still leaning on the door frame, making himself at home. Ashton storms over to Luke, anger burning in his speckled eyes as he speaks through gritted teeth.
"Hemmings you better get the hell out of this house or I will call the police, you're a terrible person," His words seem to sting me a little, I can't begin to imagine how Luke feels behind his 'tough guy façade'.
"Guys calm down just- Ashton I need to talk to you," I say, trying to break up the fight before it can even begin. But Luke is getting too much enjoyment out of this situation, so it's no surprise when he continues stirring up Ashton.
"Yeah go run along to Michael, you two are such pansies J esus, get a life," Luke laughs out, but I know that he doesn't mean anything he's saying. But Ashton takes all of Luke's words to heart, and I can see the hurt in his eyes.
"For fucks sake Luke, get out of my house!" Ashton quickly spins back around to Luke before screaming the words in his face, his voice breaking a little as he yells. Luke's never intimidated by anyone, no matter who it is or what they're saying, Luke never waivers. But I see the way he slightly flinches at Ashton's words.
"Luke goddammit, shut the hell up for two seconds! Ash calm down, I need to talk to you," I yell loud enough to catch them both by surprise, motioning toward the doorway. Ashton glares at Luke before turning to follow me out of the room.
When we exit the room I follow Ash until we reach his bedroom, and he closes the door behind us. He runs a hand through his wavy hair before turning back to me.
"Why do you associate yourself with him Mikey? He's an asshole," Ashton says, and he sounds almost out of breath as he speaks to me. I think about his question for a second before I talk.
"Ash, Luke tried to kill himself today," I speak quietly, still really trying to process what I'm saying. The words sound like some kind of twisted lie, but I'm still kind of hung up on the fact that they're true. Ashton's brows furrow at what I say, and he tilts his head slightly.
"A-and he punched me, because I tried to stop him?" I tell Ash, but the statement comes out sounding more like a question.
Ashton seems almost frozen at my words, and I can practically hear the gears in his brain turning, trying to process this information. He takes in a shaky breath before talking.
"Where were you? What did he try to do?" Ashton speaks almost in a whisper, but I can still hear the anger deep in his voice. I can tell that Ashton doesn't really care about Luke's wellbeing at all, he's far more worried about the punch to the face that I got. But he pretends to care, because he knows how much I love Luke.
"Uhm, it's kind of a crazy long story, but we were on the train tracks and he wanted to get hit I guess?" I tell him, and the whole situation sounds made up. Ashton's breath hitches at my words, and I can only hope that he somewhat cares about the blonde.
"I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't listen, as per usual, and I don't know what happened, he just lost control and punched me," I try to make the whole thing sound better than it really was, hoping that if I make it out like Luke isn't all too bad, then maybe he and Ash could get along.
"Mikey, I know how much you care about Luke, but he's a terrible human being. If you keep hanging around him you could get seriously hurt, and I care too much about you to let that happen." Ashton's arm rests on my shoulder in some attempt at comfort as he talks, but the words he's saying are all but reassuring.
"He's not as terrible as you make him out to be Ash, he thinks far too much and has no outlet. This whole 'tough and emotionless' façade that he has going on isn't him ," I say, but Ashton looks skeptical.
"He's broken Ash, he needs someone to talk to and help him-" I try to explain, but I'm cut off by the sound of something smashing on the other side of the house.
Ash is quick to get up and open the door, rushing toward the noise, and I follow equally as fast. When we reach where the noise came from my heart shatters. Luke is standing over a shattered vase with his hands behind his head, and he looks almost distant. Ashton is quick to start yelling at him, but I hold him back, telling him to calm down and just stop for a second.
"Luke talk to me, what's going on, why'd you break the vase?" I ask, trying to keep my voice calm as I speak, scared that if I say anything wrong he might get even more frustrated. Luke startles at my words, as though he didn't even hear us entering or Ashton yelling at him, and he steps backwards, tripping over his own feet a little as he stretches his arms out as if to keep us away from him.
"No, no, no, no, fuck I'm sorry just, stay away from me please I'm so sorry," Luke rambles out the string of useless words and this new emotion in his voice leaves me almost teary. I think it also strikes a chord with Ashton, as he can finally see just how serious this all is.
“Lu calm down just- don’t apologize, what’s wrong?” I take a step closer noticing the terror in eyes as he desperately tries to keep distance in between us. I whip my head back around when I feel Ashton's hand tightly around my wrist. There's an anger in his eyes as he looks at me, pleading for me to not try to help Luke, but I pull my hand out of his grasp, taking another step closer to the blonde.
“No, st-stay away from me!” Luke is frantic as he stutters out his words, tears brimming in his own eyes. I have no idea what’s going on, this is so unlike Luke that it leaves me almost stunned. Seeing absolute terror in the eyes of someone who is always un-phased by everything leaves a sinking feeling in my stomach.
“Hey, just breathe you’re alright, we’re not leaving you alone,” I step over the shattered vase cautiously, trying to get closer to the boy to somehow calm him down. Luke's breathing is erratic, quick attempts at getting air into his lungs as he continues to back away from me, mumbling nonsense as he tries to stay grounded.
Luke keeps stumbling backward until he no longer can, his back pressing up against the wall as he keeps his arms outstretched so I can’t get any closer. Ashton is desperately calling my name, trying to get me to stop attempting to help Luke, this desire in his voice that tells me that he believes Luke is getting what he deserves.
“Fuck off Michael, leave me alone, let me leave,” Luke is still intimidating whilst he’s breaking down, maybe even more so now than usual, his unpredictability keeping me on edge. Luke retracts his arms, tugging at his hair as he slides down the wall to the floor. I try to place a hand on Luke's shoulder to somehow calm him down, but it doesn’t go well.
“No, don’t - don’t touch me!” Luke’s voice trembles as he flinches away from my touch. His eyes are wild, breathing fast and shallow as his whole body trembles.
“I’m not going to hurt you Luke,” I speak gently, trying desperately to get him to believe me. And I half expect him to flinch away in his panicked state when I hold his shaking hand, but he doesn’t move - instead he seems to relax a little.
“It’s okay,” I smile, pulling Luke into a hug that he doesn’t resist.
“It’s okay, I’m here,” I breathe out into his hair as he rests his face on the crook of my neck.
It's odd to see this different side of Luke, not at all like the usual heartless asshole that he usually is, instead a broken and panicky teen who just doesn’t know what to do. I sit with Luke for a while until his breathing is somewhat normal, then we both stand up, Luke looking down to hide from Ashton's eyes.
“Ash, I’m going to walk Luke home, I'll call you,” I speak quietly, the air incredibly thick between my two friends. Ashton nods and there’s a small amount of sympathy on his face as he looks between Luke and I. I go to place my hand on Luke's shoulder to guide him out but he shakes my hand off before deliberately stepping through the smashed vase, stomping past Ashton, purposefully bumping his shoulder into Ash’s as he passes, making his way out of the front door.
Ashton rolls his eyes at the blonde, and I apologize on his behalf before hurrying to catch up with him. Luke walks with purpose, he always has. Long strides that make you look at him and think; that guy has somewhere more important to be. His long legs carry him across the pavement quicker than they should, and I have to jog at first to keep up with him.
“Luke slow down just- We can forget that anything that just happened actually happened, or you can tell me what the hell is going on with you!” I speak a little louder than I probably should have, but it gets my point across nicely.
“Can’t you just leave me alone already? Haven’t I caused enough issues for you?” Luke speaks with little emotion in his voice, not slowing down at all or even looking at me when he talks. All I can do is keep up with him, at least make sure that he gets home safe and just try to get him to speak to me.
“Luke I’m not giving up on you, I just want to help, but you need to talk to me first,” I press on, even though I’m sure there's no use in trying to pry the information from Luke, I doubt he’ll let up. He sighs, long and painfully drawn out and he makes me want to just grab him at the shoulders and shake some sense into him.
“You can’t keep it all inside you know? Bottling it up won't do you any good,” I try to convince him, and I mistakenly think that he considers my words for a second.
“Stop talking to me Michael, oh my god, I’m fine, stop worrying about me!” Luke stops walking, grabbing me at the shoulders as he screams the words directly in my face. His words seem to stop my breathing, and his raging eyes fill me with terror.
“Luke calm down, you’re scaring me,” my voice is quiet in contrast to his, and I can feel tears brimming in my eyes. Luke's demeanor doesn’t even falter at my words, burning anger the only emotion that I can see in his eyes.
"Then leave me alone!" He screams, and I think even he notices how unnecessarily loud he spoke the words. His hands let go of my shoulders and he turns to walk away. A young woman is watching everything that's going on behind the window of her house and even she seems shaken by Luke's aggression.
I'm frozen for quite some time, Luke's blue eyes and loud voice the only thing inhabiting my mind. But I eventually build up the courage to follow him, I can't just leave him alone like this.
I jog down the street to catch up with him, and when the heavy treading of my shoes on the pavement is finally close enough for him to hear, he turns around.
He harshly rolls his eyes, sighing loudly when he sees me, and he turns back around, continuing to walk and ignore me. This time I don't talk, I don't press for him to tell me what's going on, because he won't tell me. The only thing I can do is just make sure he gets home alright and hope that I see him at school tomorrow where I can talk to him in a place that he won't lash out.
I follow him for about five minutes before I can see his house. It's a big house, larger than Ashton's and definitely larger than mine. It's that cliché yellow painted wood that you usually see in movies, a nice porch with flowers under the windows. His parents' car, a black - clearly expensive - something is parked in the driveway, and seeing as Luke is supposed to be home and he snuck out, they'll surely be furious.
I watch as Luke jogs up to his house leaving me on the footpath without any kind of farewell. He doesn't seem to hide his presence either, opening the door quickly before slamming it shut behind him. And as soon as the door is shut I feel like I can finally breathe.
I stand outside his house for a while, wishfully thinking that maybe he would come out and apologize to me or something. But it never happens, and so I begin my trek back to my own house.
It doesn't take long, a few minutes or so before I reach the familiar white house. My heart stops when I see my fathers car in the driveway. He shouldn't be home, I was supposed to be home alone today! The only thought running through my head.
I curse under my breath before I quickly run up to my own house, unlike Luke, opening and closing the bright red door deathly silent. But when I turn around after shutting the door my Dad is standing behind me looking rather annoyed and I flinch in shock.
"Michael where the hell have you been? What happened to your nose? If you were with that Hemmings kid again, if he did this-" He trails off what he's saying when he sees that I was obviously with Luke by the way I uncomfortably shift my weight from foot to foot under his words.
"Jesus Michael, he's a bad influence don't you understand? Did he hurt you?" my Dad's words turn from angry to concerned far too quickly that it practically gives me whiplash.
"I was with Luke and Ashton, they didn't do this," I lie, because I can't handle another person hating Luke, even though I'm more than certain that he already despises the golden haired boy.
"What happened then?" He asks, his previously concerned voice now sounding a little more annoyed. I can't think of a lie quick enough, I've never been a good liar, people can always tell if I'm not telling the truth. But Luke, he is the best liar I know, he's almost too good.
"Michael I don't want you talking to that boy ever again do you understand me? He's fucked in the head, he's just broken Michael, and I don't want you being influenced by his actions, and I especially don't want you to be in his line of fire when he loses it," He says, pointing a finger in my direction when he needs that extra emphasis.
"He's not as bad as you all make him out to be! Don't you remember what he used to be like Dad? He was the most perfect and well behaved kid, and now something has happened and everyone but me has left him," I raise my voice at my father and he looks shocked to see that I'm talking back.
"I want to help him Dad, I want the old Lu back and that's not going to happen if everyone keeps fucking abandoning him!" I go too far. I yell directly at him.
"Don't you dare raise your voice or talk back to me like that! Watch your attitude boy, that Hemmings kid is already wearing off on you," He speaks louder than I did and I cower back a little.
"Go to your room, you're grounded," He spits the words at me, and so I quickly hurry past him and up to my room.
I close my door behind me before I flop onto my bed, my nose now finally throbbing in pain. I grab my cell phone out of my pocket, remembering that I promised Ashton that I'd call him. I click the call icon next to his name on my contacts and wait for him to pick up.
"Mikey, don't you ever bring that jackass to my house again, when my Mum sees the broken vase she'll kill me!" Ashton whisper-yells the words through the phone and I have to run a hand down my face, flinching back forgetting about my throbbing nose.
"I didn't know what else to do Ash, Luke tried to kill himself for god's sake, and he's acting so un-him and I don't know how to help him," I speak breathlessly, trying desperately to get someone on my side.
"You mean he's actually acting human for once? It's about-fucking-time too! You can't help him, he's past it Michael," Ashton sighs out the latter half of what he was saying, and it tears at my heart.
We talk for a while, Ashton shifting the subject away from Luke and to music. It tends to be the thing we bond over most, and so it's a good distraction.
Trying to get to sleep sucked. My throbbing nose and whole face in general kept me awake for far longer than I wish it had, and when I finally managed to get some shut eye my alarm went off what felt like almost instantly. God I hate life.