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For all the things Debbie Ocean excelled at, plotting escape routes was not at the top of the list. That’s why big jobs required crews. She wasn’t supposed to have to do it on her own. Only problem was, for the job at hand, she’d been explicitly forbidden from bringing a crew.
Said job was a shopping trip. Her brother’s new fiancée wanted to bond.
Nothing against Tess; she was even-keeled and purposeful and a master of subtlety, all of which Debbie greatly appreciated. She’d fit into the family dynamic just fine, and they’d probably even get along, eventually. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was that Debbie had other ways she wanted to spend her Saturday.
She had a failsafe, of course—she wasn’t completely unprepared. All she had to do was wait for the out.
“I want you to know I don’t have a problem with your lifestyle,” said Tess discreetly as they browsed through Ted Baker’s newest collection.
“Uh, yeah, I’d hope not,” said Debbie. “Kind of figured you and Danny wouldn’t have gotten this far if you did.”
“It’s nice that you two are so close.”
Debbie opened her mouth to respond to the non-sequitur, but then a familiar face caught her eye: her out.
“Deb!” Lou said, rushing over and cutting her eyes to Tess. “We gotta go. The apartment—” She trailed off distractedly as she got a look at Tess’s face. “—is…on…fire.”
“The apartment is on fire?” Debbie repeated sharply, in disbelief. Of all the stupid fake excuses…
“Er, nevermind. False alarm,” Lou said absently, still looking at Tess, who met her gaze with an arched eyebrow.
Tess stuck out her hand. “You must be Lou,” she said.
“Guilty as charged,” Lou replied puckishly.
“Lou!”
Her attention snapped to Debbie, and Lou twisted her lips apologetically, shoving her hands into the back pockets of her dark green, leather pants. Debbie appraised her outfit. Sometimes, she wasn’t sure if she loved Lou’s fashion sense or if the woman shouldn’t be allowed to dress herself. That day’s blazer was a loud, gold and purple print that looked distinctly like Reuben’s influence.
“Danny did say it’s impossible to keep you two apart,” said Tess, seemingly making the same appraisal as Debbie. “You might as well join us.”
“Well, I am already here,” Lou said, brightly, contrition already forgotten.
“You are,” Debbie agreed dryly. Then, she smirked. “Maybe you’ll try on a dress for me.”
“Not on your life, darlin’.”
Tess chuckled, and, in short order, both she and Debbie had dressing rooms prepared for them. Debbie fully intended to drag Lou in with her, if only to give her grief for failing miserably at the thing they were supposed to be best at, but Tess gave them an odd look, and Lou squirmed away from her.
Maybe it was because she knew she’d have to pay for anything she wanted, but Debbie wasn’t feeling particularly enthusiastic about any of her selections. Meanwhile, Tess stepped out to show them an elegant black dress, and Debbie felt a twinge of annoyance at Lou’s approving reaction, though she could agree that Tess looked stunning. They all faced the mirrors together: Tess centered, Debbie and Lou shoulder to shoulder on her right.
“I thought, maybe, for dinner with your parents?” Tess said, looking back and forth between the other women and her own reflection. “Is it too much?”
Debbie shrugged. “Depends where you’re going. They’re big on looking presentable, though.”
“I want to make a good impression.”
“Lou wore a leather jumpsuit the first time she came for dinner. You’d have to try pretty hard to phase them at this point.”
“I was, like, ten,” Lou said defensively.
“Exactly. Leather. Jumpsuit.”
The three-way-mirror showed off all angles of Lou’s playful scowl. “Your parents love me,” she said, dropping her chin on Debbie’s shoulder.
“Yeah,” Debbie agreed, and she turned to look directly at Lou, rather than her reflection. Their noses were almost touching. “Even more than me, probably.”
Lou laughed and straightened up. “Not possible. Get the dress,” she said to Tess. “It’s a safe bet.”
Debbie gasped jokingly as Tess slipped into the dressing room to change. “Did I just hear Lou Miller advocate for safe fashion choices? Are you feeling alright?”
“Not all of us look tall, dark, and devastating in a cocktail dress, Ocean. I know what suits me.”
“You do look very good in a suit.”
Preening, Lou tugged at the lapels of her wild blazer.
“Maybe solid colors, once in a while,” Debbie amended. Then, she stepped up close to Lou and hissed, “The apartment is on fire? Really?”
“I was caught off guard. You didn’t tell me she looked like a goddamn movie star.”
“What did you expect? She’s marrying Danny. And what does that have to do—”
The door clicked open, and Debbie shut up.
Tess emerged, dress over her arm, and looped her free hand around Lou’s elbow, initiating the exodus from the dressing room. “I need in-law advice,” she said, pulling Lou along. “Rusty was no help.”
“Uh, sure.” Lou blinked and stumbled to keep up. “I guess I could give you pointers. I’ve been an unofficial Ocean for ages.”
“You know, it’s ridiculous that they gate-keep families. You should be allowed to make it official. There’s no good reason…” she trailed off, eyes catching on something. “Debbie, put it back.”
Debbie frowned but did reluctantly, subtly slip the lipstick out of her pocket and back where she’d found it. “You know what I need?” she said, perking up.
Following Debbie’s gaze, Lou rolled her eyes. “Need is a strong word.”
Before them lay the vast, lacy landscape of women’s intimates.
“Um, sure, but what about…” Tess looked at Lou. “Do you want to…?” She gestured off toward the nearest other department. It was men’s shoes.
Lou scoffed. “I know I’m not…” She cocked her head and waved her hand vaguely up and down herself, as if that summed up what, exactly, she was not. “But I do wear this shit, too. I can handle it. Anyway, if anyone’s qualified to tell Deb what’ll look good on her, it’s me.”
“Oh! Of course. I didn’t know if you like it to be a…surprise.”
“I could care less what she wears.”
“Gee, thanks,” Debbie said sarcastically.
“Only because you look good in everything, babe,” Lou shot back.
“That’s…” Tess glanced between them, uncertainly. “…sweet, I guess.”
And so Debbie proceeded to plow through the racks. She didn’t torture Lou by trying anything on, but she did use her as a personal clothing rack. Lou, however, was even less phased than usually. That was probably because she was focused on regaling Tess with Ocean family tidbits, arms piled high with unmentionables.
Eventually, Debbie got bored, selected a few items, and paid.
“Oh, look at the time,” she said. “Lou gets impossible when she’s hungry, so we should—”
“We’ll have lunch, then,” said Tess.
Lou looked her up and down skeptically. “You’re going to eat in a food court?”
“No, there’s a bistro this way,” Tess said, pointing deeper into the store and then turning to walk in that direction without waiting for a consensus.
“There’s a restaurant in a department store?” Lou whispered to Debbie.
“Lucky us,” Debbie hissed back. “You are a terrible bail out. I’m calling Tammy next time.”
“Well, you usually do the talking, hot stuff. I’m the strong, silent type.”
By the time they caught up with Tess, she was already at the host stand, in the middle of an exchange with the college-aged boy behind the podium.
“…if you and your friends will follow me,” he said, tucking three menus under his arm.
“That’s pretty presumptive of you,” Tess said, oddly offended. “To assume we’re all friends.”
The maître d’ blinked, taken aback, and glanced at Debbie and Lou for guidance. Lou ignored him, and Debbie just twitched her eyebrows and frowned, equally unsure. “Er…right. If you and your mortal enemies would follow me, then,” he said, laughing awkwardly.
As per usual, Debbie and Lou ordered separately but shared their meals without having to ask. Tess raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Whatever Danny had told her about them must have sufficiently conveyed the depth of their friendship.
Eventually, Tess looked at Debbie and asked, “How long have you been dating?”
“Uh, what?” Debbie frowned, perplexed. “In general? Like, since middle school?”
“Wow, that’s a long time.”
“I guess?”
“Have you always known? About your, uh, preferences? That’s good. It’s good to know what you want and not have to struggle with figuring it out. One of the other curators at the museum is…like you, and I admire how direct he is.”
“Tess, let me stop you right there,” Debbie said, glancing at Lou for some sort of support. “I know engaged people get all gung-ho about matchmaking, but, if you’re going to try and set me up with someone, don’t.”
“What? No. Why would I do that? You’re with Lou.”
Debbie’s mouth fell open.
Lou almost spit out her gin and tonic. “That’s new,” she said dryly.
“It’s okay,” Tess said. “I’m an ally.”
“Lou and I are not dating,” Debbie managed to say. “Why would you think that?”
“I bet it was the boys,” said Lou. “Ten this is Rusty’s idea of a joke.”
“No bet.”
Tess tilted her head in confusion. “Well, no one said it straight out, but it was implied.”
“Implied?” Debbie echoed, voice pitching up, a tiny bit hysterical.
“You know,” Tess said insistently, rolling the narrow neck of her glass between her fingers. “Like Danny said it would be nice for Lou to have a compatriot at Thanksgiving, or Rusty’s jokes about how you’re basically married?”
“Jesus. That’s not what Danny meant,” Lou said, “and Rus is a bonehead.”
In their line of work, Debbie and Lou had seen a lot of skeptical looks, but the one Tess was giving them was next level. “Are you sure?” she asked. “Because, today, you seemed…”
“We’re not gay,” Debbie said, at the exact same moment Lou said, “Debbie’s not gay.”
Confused, Debbie stared at Lou, who glanced at her before stiffly looking straight ahead at Tess and addressing her. “Debbie’s not gay,” she said again, evenly, refusing to make eye contact with Debbie.
All told, Debbie was not entirely surprised. She hadn’t been harboring suspicions or anything, but, now that Lou had said it—or implied it, at least—it all did make sense. Like someone had pointed out the alternate perspective in one of those ambiguous images, and, now she’d seen it, she couldn’t unsee it. The thing was, Debbie had thought she knew everything about Lou, and this was a damn big thing to not know.
The misunderstanding with Tess was all but forgotten.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Lou shrugged, carefully avoiding meeting Debbie’s gaze for more than a second at a time. “Never came up.”
“Never came—?! Lou, I’m your—well, you’re my best friend. And this is how you decided to…to come out to me? In a fucking mall? In front of a stranger? No offense, Tess.”
“None taken,” said Tess softly.
Again, Lou shrugged.
“I’m not—Jesus Christ, Lou Miller, would you fucking look at me for a second?”
And she did turn, silent.
“Why the hell did you think you couldn’t tell me?”
For all Lou’s talent at looking cool and careless, she couldn’t quite hide the sliver of pain in her eyes from the one person who knew her best. Debbie felt a twin pain lance through her, though she didn’t entirely understand why. She reached out to touch Lou and stopped short.
“I’m going to use the restroom,” Tess said quietly and slipped away from the table.
When the three women walked out of the mall, the sun was nearing the horizon. Debbie held up her hand to shade her eyes, until Lou offered up her sunglasses. Danny was idling at the curb, waiting for them, with Rusty lounging in the back seat.
“Shove in, Lance Bass,” Lou said, ducking into the car.
“Thought you weren’t supposed to bring your girlfriend today, Deb,” said Rusty, smirking.
“We’re not putting a label on it yet, thank you very much, Rusty,” said Debbie.
Danny, who’d up to then had eyes only for Tess, jerked around to look at his sister. Danny Ocean never looked surprised. This was new. “You’re serious?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“Well, shit,” said Rusty, letting out a low whistle. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
Danny turned his attention back to Tess and asked, “What did you do?”
“You got a problem with it, Ocean?” Lou growled.
“Problem?” Danny laughed, still eyeing Tess with wonder. “No, I don’t have a problem with it, Lou. Just wondering what happened in two hours with Tess to end your streak.”
“Streak?” echoed Debbie.
“You were going on fifteen years of obliviousness.”
“Bull,” Debbie said. “You did not see this coming when we were ten.”
“No,” Danny agreed, putting the car in gear, finally. “But, once I noticed it, I realized it had always been there.”
“Oh.” Sliding her hand into Lou’s and intertwining their fingers, Debbie shot Rusty a warning look before he could ruin the moment with a stupid quip. She met Danny’s eyes in the rearview mirror and then Lou’s beside her. “I know what you mean.”