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Miranda can remember every time she hugged Cody. It wasn’t super frequent. He was a teenager when she met him, and she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable or force herself into his life. She wanted to respect his space. Mira might have always thought of Cody as so young, but he really wasn’t. She respected that.
Now, though, three times she broke her own "distance" rule stood out.
The first was at Milo’s funeral. The absolutely minuscule chance of the accident in the first place — that Milo was ripped away so soon and fast — shook her to her core. So much life and laughter and chaos was just… gone from the house.
When Cody had a moment alone, Miranda hugged him. She had only done so a couple of times before then, though she hesitated and decided not to dozens and dozens of times before that.
The hug itself was quick, but she grabbed on to him tightly.
Miranda held him just for a moment like she was afraid he’d be ripped away, too.
—
The second was her wedding with Dom.
If you asked Miranda when she was younger what the greatest day of her life was, she would have said her graduation. But the wedding blew it out of the water.
As she kissed Dom, she felt like the luckiest person in the whole world. Her heart felt like it would burst out of her chest just at the sheer joy she was experiencing. Cody was the best man (Of course. Who else would it be?), and he had his hands full.
But at the reception, she pulled him aside as the party lulled and hugged him. It was gentle, though her hands were still trembling from the earlier nerves of botching her vows.
“Thank you,” Mira said quietly. “For letting me be part of this family.”
She leaned back and gently placed her hand on his cheek, smiling at him. God, he’s grown so much. With that, Mira took a step back and went to go find her husband.
—
Miranda was known for two things in high school (and, by extension, as an undergraduate): overthinking everything — trying to avoid risks as they arise — and hanging back.
Dom was the first real risk that she ever took. Dating him was the first real step away from the Plan her parents created and the one she later adopted. Miranda wouldn’t have changed that for the world, but right now she finally was feeling the consequences of her choice.
When Dom was finally in the hospital, the diagnosis...wasn’t promising. He knew. They all did. Dom was crying and apologizing to them for leaving them. There was nothing Miranda wanted to do more than brush his hair back with her hand, dry his tears, take his hand, check his vitals. Tell him that it’s okay, that they just want him to be finally comfortable, that she loves they love him so, so much.
She was in the room with Cody. Cody was holding Dom’s hand now, the one not as full of wires. He was reassuring his father.
Miranda would hang back. As much as she knew he was the love of her life and Dom loved her right back (God, she’d kill to see him give his goofy smile right then), Cody was the light of his life. Cody was his son. His pride and joy and purpose, all rolled into one.
She stayed in the back, watching. Fidgeting with her wedding ring. Miranda wanted nothing more than to go up and take his other hand, but she wasn’t going to take this from Cody.
And she wasn’t going to risk him losing any time with his father.
When it came time for the funeral, Miranda refused to be touched by anybody. No reassuring grabbing of the shoulder. No kisses on the cheek. No gentle squeeze of acknowledgment by the knee. She sat and had her arms wrapped around herself tightly. Her sister sat beside her, having made the trek for the visitation.
Mira’s eyes were swollen from crying, and she was more tired than she’d ever been.
She watched out of the corner of her eye Cody politely talking to guests. His answers were pretty short. (He was never quite as open or chatty after Milo…)
When he excused himself and left the room, she got up and snuck after him. No one stopped her.
When the two were alone, Miranda grabbed him and held him close. She thought she was out of tears until her arms were around him, and she broke down sobbing.
For Dom, of course. But for Cody, too.
He was so young. No matter the fact he was now grown, he would always be so, so young to her. The boy that was so early in his teenage years when they first met, excitedly telling her about his video project with his best friend.
No one should have to deal with as much loss as he did. Miranda tightened her grip on him. Much less someone with so much life left in front of him.
She apologized over and over to him as she held him tight. For everything. For Dom. For Jake and Dan. For Milo.And, some part of her knew, from Dom.
He didn’t say much but gently reciprocated the hug.
She wasn’t sure how long they stood there. It could have been for only a few seconds or for an hour. No one interrupted, which she was grateful for.
—
Miranda never thought she’d be much longer without Dom. She and Cody stayed somewhat close.
She’d call him on his birthday and send him a gift, or occasionally make sure to stop by on holidays. It felt weirdly formal now. Distant.
One day they happened to bump into each other outside a coffee shop. They ended up deciding to catch up and talked until the place closed for the day, ranging from new life events to painful old ones.
But when she got the call that Cody was sick, she was there in a heartbeat. He had a new life now: a new family, new friends. But she was there again, hovering in the back.
At one point, a person Miranda didn’t immediately recognize hovered back with her. They asked Mira for her name. When Miranda responded, they nodded solemnly.
After a few moments of the two standing in the back quietly, the person went to grab the others near Cody, explaining something in hushed tones.
Then, the person stepped back and announced that the group will go get a meal, and the room was cleared out.
Miranda blinked in surprise. It all happened so fast that she wasn’t exactly sure what to do.
She looked up and made eye contact with Cody.
“Hi, Dr. Kearney,” he said with a slight, tired smile.
Miranda laughed softly.
“You...know you don’t have to call me that anymore.”
“I know.”
There was a beat of silence before Miranda hesitantly began moving toward the bed. It felt like she was walking through molasses as she finally got near him. Miranda looked over her shoulder again to make sure she wasn’t interrupting anybody else. Once satisfied, she slunk in the seat next to him, scooting it closer to him.
"Your friends seem nice," Miranda offered awkwardly.
He hummed in agreement before letting the room fall to quiet again. After a bit, he spoke back up.
“I guess you’re right,” Cody said.
“Oh?”
“There isn’t such a thing as ghosts.” His smile didn’t waver but she could tell by the look in his eyes that it wasn’t as light as he made it seem. “We would’ve heard from one by now, right?”
Miranda blinked in surprise before reaching her arm out. She hesitated before taking Cody’s hand.
“Maybe, maybe not.” She forced a smile. “I know one thing though. Your dad’s too stubborn not to see you again.”
“They told you it’s bad?”
“It’s not often I get a call from you from the hospital. Dom on the other hand…” Miranda let out a humorless chuckle.
Cody smiled back but the room fell quiet. She squeezed his hand.
“I…” She swallowed down the lump in her throat. She looked up at the IVs plugged in his arm, the steady beep of machinery. She swallowed again, this time choking back tears. “You’re going to be okay.”
Cody’s smile fell a bit, but he still largely kept it up.
“I...don’t know about that. You will be though.”
Miranda blinked in surprise before squeezing his hand tighter. Refusing to cry, she instead kissed the back of his hand.
“Ghosts might not be real,” her voice broke. “But I know whatever comes next, your dad will fight hell or high water to see you. He loved you so, so much.”
Cody gave a wet laugh and wiped a few stray tears that suddenly emerged.
“...Yeah, I know.”
—
Miranda is getting too used to funerals. Setting this one up, the funeral director greeted her by name.
She sits quietly in the front row. She isn’t as closed off as she was with Dom’s funeral, but she can’t find the energy to go talk to any of the other guests. She is the last of an era, after all.
One hand rests on her walking cane while the other fidgets with her wedding ring. Lost in her thoughts and mental pleas to wherever Dom is now to find his son, she doesn’t notice when someone sits down next to her.
“-‘am?”
Miranda blinks in surprise before turning around. They smile gently at her and give a shy wave.
“I was just wondering how you knew Mr. Bridges.”
Miranda just blinks again at the question. She is quiet for so long that they seem to believe she didn’t hear.
However, as she is wont to do, she is just deep in thought. He wasn’t her son. At least not in the same sense of the word. He was Dom’s son. She never had the chance to ask him what she was to him, but...
“He’s…” Miranda clears her throat. “I guess I was Cody’s mom.”