Work Text:
“You’ve got something on your mind that isn’t business or gossip,” Jin Guangyao said, at the end of their regularly-scheduled dinner. He narrowed his eyes at Nie Huaisang and asked, “What do you want?”
Nie Huaisang laughed, behind his fan. That was always the question, wasn’t it? Everyone knew that he was useless at managing the Qinghe Nie, and were certain enough in that belief that they didn’t even notice how well-managed his sect was. It wasn’t just Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen’s influence, either; he solved plenty of little things that weren’t worth bothering his fellow sect leaders about, quietly and efficiently and through the use of excellently-trained staff.
But tonight—as Jin Guangyao had noticed—none of that was relevant.
“San-ge,” Nie Huaisang said, because the way Jin Guangyao twitched at being called that never failed to delight him. Nobody else had ever called him that, and nobody else ever would. “When do I ever know what I want?”
Jin Guangyao’s mouth twisted. “You’re very certain about your birds.”
“Oh, those.” Nie Huaisang sighed and leaned forward across the table, letting his gaze flutter and fall to the remains of their meal. “It’s nothing like that.”
The moment of quiet as Jin Guangyao determined how he wanted to approach Nie Huaisang’s obvious stance of please ask me a question buzzed through Nie Huiasang’s gut. He loved this game, he really did, and it was never sweeter than with the only other person he knew who played it.
It helped, Nie Huaisang thought, that Jin Guangyao didn’t think to look for signs that Nie Huaisang was playing this particular game of politics. Otherwise things would be complicated, and that would be no fun at all.
“A-Sang,” Jin Guangyao said, his voice very gentle, “I will not judge you for your questions and thoughts. I hope you know that.”
So that’s how we’re playing it, Nie Huaisang thought, and allowed himself to look up through his eyelashes for the briefest of moments. “It’s personal,” he admitted, glancing around at the ubiquitous servants. “If you wouldn’t mind—?”
Jin Guangyao waved a hand, and the servants bowed and retreated. Then Jin Guangyao leaned forward, eyebrows raised in question.
Nie Huaisang took a deep breath, swallowed nervously, and let the words come out in a rush: “Sometimes— Sometimes I think about what you and Da-ge and Xichen-ge had together and I feel bad that I can’t take his place in that.”
This time, Jin Guangyao’s silence pulled taut as a guqin’s plucked string. Nie Huaisang wasn’t supposed to be aware of the details of the sworn brothers’ physical relationship. Their reputations were supposed to have kept the rumors of their sexual encounters and proclivities to back-room whispers among their most trusted disciples.
And yet, Nie Huaisang thought, very few people expected Huaisang to be one of Da-ge’s trusted disciples. Laughter trembled in his chest in a way he knew looked like nerves to the outside, and he used that to shake his head and withdraw quickly, stammering out, “I shouldn’t— I’m sorry, San-ge, I shouldn’t wonder, it’s wrong of me to think of you like— like that.”
Jin Guangyao reached forward, even as he drew back, and caught Nie Huaisang’s wrist before he could raise the fan to hide the flush spreading across his face. “Didn’t I say I wouldn’t judge?” He met Nie Huaisang’s eyes with a smile that didn’t quite seem warm enough to match his words. “A-Sang, in what way do you want to take your brother’s place?”
Nie Huaisang bit his lip, and this time he wasn’t even playing games when he blushed and mumbled, “I know you fucked.”
“Ah,” Jin Guangyao said softly, and his fingers tightened on Nie Huaisang’s wrist. “Do you want that, A-Sang?”
It had been a fifty-fifty chance, whether or not Jin Guangyao would express interest, and Nie Huaisang hadn’t really planned what he would do if they got this far. So he went with deceptive honesty, and said, “I’ve thought about it a lot.”
“You aren’t as… formidable as your brother.”
Nie Huaisang bit his lip, bracing himself, and then very deliberately raised his gaze to meet Jin Guangyao’s as he said, “You have no way of knowing if that’s true, where it counts.”
He was rewarded for his brazenness by the way Jin Guangyao’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed and his lips spread open ever so slightly. Faintly, Jin Guangyao said, “Do you?”
Nie Huaisang ducked his head, blush spreading further across his face and down onto his neck. “I— Don’t all young men— It’s not— We never did anything!”
The Qinghe Nie weren’t body-shy; Jin Guangyao would know that, from his time in the army. He had to have seen brothers-in-arms taking care of themselves (and sometimes each other) side-by-side. That Nie Huaisang was aware of his brother’s anatomy from his incurable desire to snoop rather than something more mutual was immaterial to the image he wanted to conjure up for Jin Guangyao.
And he had Jin Guangyao now: Curiosity wouldn’t allow him to let this opportunity pass by, even though it wasn’t proper.
If this worked, then Nie Huaisang could get inside Jin Guangyao’s walls and worm his way into intimacy. Once that happened, there would be so many more avenues of investigation and revenge opened up to him.
“If you would like, I can make a judgement.” Jin Guangyao’s voice cracked a little. “Will your plans be disrupted if you stay the night?”
“Oh! I—” Nie Huaisang shook his head rapidly. “I hadn’t expected— But no, no, things will be fine, everyone knows I’m useless, they all run things without me. I just— San-ge, I’d never thought to imagine—”
He had, in fact, imagined. Many times. Most of it had been violent, not like what he expected Jin Guangyao to think of for the naive persona Nie Huaisang displayed to the world.
“If you would prefer to have some time to consider it further, of course, we can make other plans.” Jin Guangyao placed his hands neatly on his lap. “But I always leave the evening free for you, Huaisang; should you wish, I have the time.”
Usually Nie Huaisang took advantage of Jin Guangyao’s schedules to babble about trade agreements and conflict within the territory Qinghe Nie oversaw. This idea was much more enjoyable. “No, no, it’s fine.” He smiled, not needing to fake the thrill running down his spine. “I would be happy to receive your guidance, San-ge.”
“Then come with me,” Jin Guangyao said, rising to his feet.
Nie Huaisang, satisfaction coiling warm in his gut, did.