Archive of Our Own

Yoongi

I fucking hate you all for this.

Tae

You’re so dramatic

We’ll be there in 5

If you don’t get in the car I’ll send Kookie in after you

Yoongi

I swear I’m going to kill all of you.

One day.

Tae

You’ve been saying that and I’m still waiting

Don’t get my hopes up like that

Yoongi

God I hate you.

Tae

Same

But we’re outside so come out hyung

Yoongi grumbled various ways he could kill his friends under his breath as he trudged through his apartment. He couldn’t believe that his friends had roped him into going to a karaoke bar. Yoongi didn’t enjoy big groups of people and he most certainly didn’t like trying to get drunk while listening to bad singers. He didn’t understand how his friends thought that going to a karaoke bar was going to be a good time.

Jungkook was showing off his bunny smile as he waved to Yoongi. The older male flipped him off and stumbled into the back seat. Taehyung turned around in the passenger seat and stated, “Jimin said he’s bringing a friend with him tonight so please be on your best behavior tonight, hyung.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“You’re already off to a great start!”

Jungkook and Taehyung laughed in the front while Yoongi crossed his arms. He silently brooded in the backseat the whole way to the bar, ignoring Jungkook and Taehyung’s constant giggling and flirting. He wanted to throw up when he saw Jungkook place his hand on top of Taehyung’s. He resisted the urge to tell them to get a room, knowing well enough that Taehyung would say some weird shit back.

As soon as the car was parked Yoongi jumped out and stormed off to the bar. The maknaes quickly scurried to their hyung as they entered the building. The place was crowded, but it seemed that Jimin had managed to secure a large, round booth near the stage. Yoongi shoved his way through the mess of drunken people, leaving Taehyung and Jungkook to apologize for his behavior behind him. Yoongi pushed Jimin out of the way to make room for himself.

“I see you’re in a good mood, as always.”

“Shut up, Jimin.”

“At least try to have some fun tonight, hyung!”

“I need alcohol.”

Yoongi looked around the booth, searching for a new face but he didn’t find one. He turned to look at Jimin as he asked, “I thought you said that you were bringing a new friend with you tonight? Where’s the new guy, yeah?”

“Oh, he’ll be here soon!”

The new guy did not get here soon. Yoongi had a few beers by the time Jimin claimed his friend showed up. Yoongi was buzzed, working on getting drunk. He was about to excuse himself from the table when a spotlight shined down on him. He froze and cursed under his breath when he realized what was going on. He turned to Jimin and glared at him while he pretended to innocently take a sip from his drink.

“Park Jimin, you son of a bitch!”

Surprisingly, that wasn’t Yoongi.

Yoongi looked across the bar to see that another male had a spotlight shining down on him, as well. Oh shit. That only meant one thing. A duet. Yoongi and this mystery man were going to have to perform a song together in front of all these drunk strangers. While it did bring him some comfort to know he wasn’t alone and that he would never see half of these people again, he didn’t want to do this. Min Yoongi doesn’t sing.

Yoongi staggered his way up the stairs, where he was greeted by his singing partner. The other male held out his hand as he introduced himself, “Hi, I’m Jung Hoseok, but Jimin calls me Hobi so you can, too. I wish we were meeting under different circumstances. What's your name?”

“Min Yoongi. Can you sing?”

“I think I’m decent.”

“I can’t sing but I can rap.”

“I’ll do the singing if you do the rapping.”

Yoongi took his hand and shook it, both of them smiling at each other. Yoongi could tell that Hoseok was a little tipsy. He definitely downed a couple shots before he came on stage. Yoongi didn’t really take the time to appreciate the beautiful man standing next to him. All he cared about was picking a song and getting this shit over with. His eyes widened as he found a potential song for them to perform together.

“How about this?”

“I’ll make glasses shatter with my high notes.”

The older male shook his head and laughed, he didn’t know if Hoseok meant that he could hit the high notes or if his voice terrible enough to shatter glass. Hoseok grabbed a microphone and walked towards the front of the stage. When Yoongi had the music playing he wandered towards Hoseok with a microphone in hand. He squinted his eyes as the light shined down on them, but Hoseok didn’t seem to mind it.

Hoseok took a deep breath as he brought the microphone to his mouth. His eyes were slightly closed as he belted out the chorus, “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind? If you only knew the bad things I like. Don’t think that I can explain it. What can I say? It’s complicated. Don’t matter what you say, don’t matter what you do, I only wanna do bad things to you. So good that you can’t explain it. What can I say? It’s complicated…”

A few glasses did shatter from Hoseok hitting the high notes, and that’s when people in the crowd starting to whistle at him. Yoongi was dumbfounded by the other male. Hoseok said he was decent, but he was fucking amazing. The way he hit those notes so effortlessly was absolutely stunning to Yoongi. Most people would've taken one look at Hoseok and thought that it was his looks that made him attractive, which wasn't wrong. But for Yoongi, it was his voice.

Yoongi blinked a few times to pull him out of his thoughts. He shook his head and started rapping, “Nothing’s that bad if it feels good. So, you come back like I knew you would. And we’re both wild, and the night’s young, and you’re my drug, breathe you in till my face numb!”

Hoseok was grinning as he saw Yoongi get lost in the rap, “Drop it down to that bass drum. I got what you dream about! Nails scratchin’ my back tatt! Eyes closed while you scream out! And you keep me in with those hips while my teeth sink in those lips! While your body’s giving me life and you suffocate in my kiss!”

Yoongi was surprised when he heard Hoseok rapping with him at some points in the bridge, “Then you said I want you forever, even when we’re not together. Scars on my body so I can take you wherever. Like, I want you forever, even when we’re not together. Scars on my body, I can look at you whenever.”

They had to admit, they sounded good together. The two of them were smiling at each other while the crowd was cheering for them. Yoongi hated to admit it, but he was having fun. He would’ve been miserable if it was just him on stage, but Hoseok made it more bearable. Hoseok made it worthwhile somehow.

It was a complete change of pace when Hoseok sang the chorus again, “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind? If you only knew the bad things I like. Don’t think that I can explain it. What can I say? It’s complicated. Don’t matter what you say, don’t matter what you do, I only wanna do bad things to you. So good that you can’t explain it. What can I say? It’s complicated…”

Yoongi’s friends could tell that he was feeling comfortable on stage when he started making hand motions as he rapped, “I can’t explain it, I love the pain. And I love the way your breath numbs me like novacaine! And we are always high. Keep it strange. Okay, yeah, I’m insane, but you’re the same!”

Yoongi and Hoseok felt butterflies when they sang that last part together. Yoongi loved hearing Hoseok singing in the background as he continued, “Let me paint the picture, couch by the kitchen, nothin’ but your heels on losin’ our religion! You’re my pretty little vixen and I’m that voice inside your head that keeps telling you to listen to all the bad things I say!”

Hoseok brought the microphone away from his lips so he could laugh, and shit, that was a beautiful sound. Yoongi smiled as he looked at Hoseok, “And you said I want you forever, even when we’re not together. Scars on my body so I can take you wherever. Like, I want you forever, even when we’re not together. Scars on my body, I can look at you whenever.”

Yoongi’s friends were wolf whistling at the duo as Hoseok slowly approached Yoongi like a predator closing in on its prey, “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind? If you only knew the bad things I like. Don’t think that I can explain it. What can I say? It’s complicated. Don’t matter what you say, don’t matter what you do, I only wanna do bad things to you. So good that you can’t explain it. What can I say? It’s complicated…”

They were close now, and Yoongi didn’t mind it. Hoseok draped an arm around Yoongi’s neck while his other hand held firmly onto the microphone. Yoongi felt that it was only fair that he was touching Hoseok, as well. He smirked as he snaked his free arm around Hoseok’s waist, bringing him close enough that their bodies were pressed against each other. This new position earned shouts from the crowd telling them to fuck, and Yoongi didn’t think that was a bad idea.

Hoseok had a seductive smile on his face as he sang to Yoongi, “The way we love is so unique… and when we touch, I’m shivering. And no one has to get it, just you and me. Cause we’re just living between the sheets!”

The audience was on their feet cheering for them as they sang together, “I want you forever, even when we’re not together. Scars on my body so I can take you wherever. Like, I want you forever, even when we’re not together. Scars on my body, I can look at you whenever.”

The crowd was long forgotten at this point. Yoongi and Hoseok were looking at each other like the rest of the world had disappeared and only left the two of them in its wake. There was a connection between the two males, everyone could tell. Yoongi’s friends could already tell that he wasn’t going to need Taehyung and Jungkook to bring him home tonight.

The sexual tension was present as Hoseok grinded on the other male, “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind? If you only knew the bad things I like. Don’t think that I can explain it. What can I say? It’s complicated. Don’t matter what you say, don’t matter what you do, I only wanna do bad things to you. So good that you can’t explain it. What can I say? It’s complicated…”

“My place or yours?”

“Mine’s down the street. Come on, Yoongi.”

They didn’t stay for the applause, nor did they stay when drunk people asked them to sign their foreheads. Hoseok held Yoongi’s hand and dragged him through the sea of people. Hoseok pulled the other male through the streets so fast Yoongi was wondering if his arm was going to dislocate. Yoongi crashed into Hoseok’s back as he fumbled with the keys to the building. Hoseok could feel Yoongi’s hands roaming up his chest from behind, causing him to gasp at the feeling.

He nearly kicked the door down when it opened. He grabbed Yoongi’s hand and yanked him down the hall to his room. He quickly opened the door and gasped when Yoongi barged in and shoved him against the door when it closed. Hoseok was about to say something but as soon as he opened his mouth Yoongi’s tongue was invading. Hoseok closed his eyes and moaned in the kiss, submitting himself to Yoongi completely. Yoongi pulled away so he could trail kisses up and down his neck, sucking and creating hickies all over.

“Y-Yoongi-“

“I’m gonna make you scream my name.”

Hoseok moaned at how low Yoongi’s voice sounded. He gasped when he felt Yoongi pick him up, forcing him to wrap his legs around the other male’s middle. Their lips crashed together, and their tongues battled for dominance. Hoseok detached himself from the kiss so he could whisper for Yoongi to take him to the bedroom. Yoongi smirked, he didn’t have to tell him twice.

Yoongi followed the younger male’s directions and threw him down on the bed. Yoongi was eager, Hoseok would give him that. Their kiss was hot and feverish, only breaking apart so they could remove each other’s clothes. Hoseok could taste the alcohol on Yoongi’s tongue but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He could tell that Yoongi wanted this so he wasn’t going to deny him of his body.

“Y-Yoon… I need you, now.”

“Those words sound beautiful coming from your lips.”

Yoongi woke up to the sound of birds chirping a happy little song, and he hated it. He slowly opened his eyes, furrowing his brow when he realized he was holding something. He looked down and saw that he was spooning Hoseok. His eyes widened when he realized he had a one-night stand and spent the night with him. Yoongi normally wasn’t fond of one-night stands and staying the night, but he slipped up this time. He was about to remove himself from Hoseok when he felt the other male stirring awake. Hoseok turned around in his arms and smiled.

“Good morning, Yoongi.”

“Uh, good morning… Hoseok, was it?”

Hoseok tried not to let his smile falter when he realized Yoongi barely remembered his name. His eyes flashed a look of hurt for a brief moment, but he collected himself. Hoseok sat up in bed and nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment. He couldn’t help but think that Yoongi wouldn’t want anything more with him than sex. He had to make this worth it. He had to make himself worth it to Yoongi to want to see him again.

“How are you feeling, Yoongi?”

“My head hurts like a bitch.”

“Hold on, I’ll get something to help with that.”

Yoongi rolled onto his back and groaned at the pounding sensation in his head. He didn’t think he drank that much, but then again he hadn’t drank in a while. He felt himself dozing off, and that was dangerous. He felt around on the bed for his phone, finding it underneath his pillow. He looked at the time and sighed. He had work in a few hours and here he was hungover in his one-night stand’s apartment.

Yoongi sniffed, something smelt good. He sat up in bed just in time to see Hoseok beaming at him with a tray of breakfast in his hands. His eyes widened when he noticed that Hoseok even placed some Advil on the tray so he could chase the headache away. He wasn’t expecting someone he slept with to be this good to him, but he accepted the food and medicine without hesitation.

He was about to thank Hoseok, but the other male seemed to have somewhere to be later, too. Yoongi shrugged, deciding to focus on the food given to him. Hoseok walked into the on-suite bathroom and hopped in the shower.

Yoongi nearly jumped when he heard Hoseok’s voice echoing from the bathroom, “So, what are your plans for today, Yoongi? You look like you’ve got somewhere to be later.”

“Uh, yeah, I have work in a few hours.”

“What do you do?”

“I’m a music producer.”

“No way! That’s so cool!”

Yoongi nodded and shoveled a bite of a pancake into his mouth, eyes rolling back into his head at how delicious it tasted. He snapped back to reality when he heard Hoseok ask, “So, what’s in store for you today at the studio? I take it you’re good at what you do so you must have lots of people asking to work with you.”

Hoseok was running his fingers through his soapy hair, praying that Yoongi didn’t think he was being annoying. He just wanted to try to get to know Yoongi so he would realize this wasn’t just a one-night stand to him. He was hoping something more would come out of this. He thought they had a genuine connection, but it all depended on Yoongi to take this further.

The older male tossed the pills into his mouth and he took a sip of water to get them down. He moved the tray off his lap so he could put his clothes on from last night. As he got dressed, he answered, “Uh, well, I guess I’m recording with some new kid on the scene. Odds are it’s just some dumbass who has a YouTube cover with millions of hits thinking he can be a star.”

“You sound like a hardass.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh at that comment. He sat back down on the bed to finish up the food he left behind. He had a mouth full of pancake in his mouth as he countered, “I just know talent when I can see it. I bet you as soon as I see that kid, I’m going to want to throw myself in front of a train.”

“Is that Yoongi or the hangover talking?”

“Honestly, probably both.”

Hoseok laughed as he turned off the shower. He stepped out and grabbed a towel, drying himself off. He grabbed a robe from behind the door and tossed it on. He shook his head, smiling at how his damp hair clung to his skin. He stepped out of the bathroom and gave a heart shaped smile at how he caught Yoongi shoving a whole pancake into his mouth like an animal. Yoongi looked back at Hoseok then down at the mess of a pancake in his mouth and then back to Hoseok.

“Don’t judge me. These are better than iHOP’s.”

“You flatter me, Yoongi.”

He walked over to his walk-in closet and laughed when he heard Yoongi choke on the pancake for a second. Hoseok was humming to himself as he got dressed for the day. It was an important day for him, not that Yoongi had asked. Hoseok furrowed his brow. Wow, that was super rude of Yoongi not to ask him about what he’s doing today.

He stepped out of the closet, blushing when he saw Yoongi drop his fork on the plate when he saw him. Yoongi’s eyes widened when he saw the way those light blue skinny jeans hugged Hoseok’s legs. He was wearing a white t-shirt that was tucked into his jeans while an unbuttoned flannel was flowing over. Yoongi thought he looked good last night at the bar, but shit, Hoseok was fucking beautiful. Yoongi slowly swallowed the pancake he was chewing.

“Uh, can I have your number, Hoseok?”

“Is that your way of saying you’d like to see me again?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t not like to see you again.”

“Ah, I see. You want me to make you more pancakes.”

“You caught me.”

Yoongi smiled as he held his hands up as if to say he was caught. Hoseok walked over and sat on the bed, making grabby hands for Yoongi’s phone. The older male blinked a few times until he got the message. He quickly gave his phone to the other male and watched intently as he put his contact in the phone. Yoongi had a small smile on his face when Hoseok returned the phone to him.

Hobi <3

Hoseok giggled when he saw Yoongi shaking his head with a smile. Hoseok gathered up Yoongi’s tray and walked down the hall with the older male trailing close behind. Hoseok walked over to the sink and gasped in surprise when he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist from behind.

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Uh, nothing, why?”

“Can I come over after work?”

“I… I’d really like that, Yoongi.”

The younger male was glad that they weren’t facing each other because he didn’t want Yoongi to see his face flushed red from blushing so much. He shuddered when he felt Yoongi kissing along his neck, going over some of the hickies he had created last night. Hoseok couldn’t believe that Yoongi wanted to see him again. Hoseok bit his lip, Yoongi wanted to come back to him.

He felt Yoongi kiss his neck one last time before he pulled away completely. Hoseok sighed at the loss of contact, which caused Yoongi to chuckle. Yoongi smiled as he walked away, “I’ll text you when I’m out of work, Hobi! Don’t strain yourself today, yeah, beautiful?”

Yoongi turned around before he exited and gave a gummy smile when he saw Hoseok staring at him like a blushing mess while looking at him like a deer in the headlights. Yoongi didn’t understand it, but he liked seeing Hoseok like that. He also liked how ‘beautiful’ felt slipping off his tongue. It seemed like the perfect pet name to call Hoseok, especially because it was the truth.

“See you later, Hobi!”

“In a while crocodile!”

He could hear Yoongi laughing as he left the room. Hoseok didn’t know what compelled him to say “in a while crocodile” but if it made Yoongi laugh then he was happy he said it. Hoseok shifted his attention on cleaning the plate and cup he used to prepare Yoongi’s breakfast. He was scrubbing the plate so much that he didn’t even realize it was clean. He wasn’t thinking about the dishes anymore. All he could think about was the platinum haired male with cat-like eyes and a beautiful gummy smile.

All he could think about was Yoongi.

When Yoongi made it to the recording studio a few hours later he had a cup of coffee in hand and a pair of headphones in his ears. He strolled into the studio and was greeted by his best friend, Namjoon. Yoongi took his seat next to him and placed his coffee safely away from the control panel so he wouldn’t accidentally spill it. Namjoon was clumsy as hell so he kept his cup as far away from him as possible. He pulled out his headphones as he turned to his friend.

“When’s the new kid coming in, hyung?”

“Should be coming in about ten minutes.”

“Have you listened to his stuff?”

“Not at all.”

“You were supposed to do that yesterday.”

Yoongi cocked an eyebrow at Namjoon. There was a dangerous edge to his voice as he returned, “Yeah, well, my dumbass friends forced me to go out to a damn karaoke bar so tell me, Joon, when the hell was I supposed to listen to this kid’s music? Did you even listen to his music?”

Namjoon watched as Yoongi reached for his coffee and hissed when the hot liquid burned his tongue. The younger male shrugged and answered, “Yeah, I’ve heard the songs he sent in. They’re pretty good, really good, actually. You know, I heard he dances when he sings.”

“He sounds like a dumbass.”

“I have a feeling you’re going to like him.”

There was a strange look in Namjoon’s eyes, and Yoongi didn’t like it. It was like Namjoon knew something that he didn’t. Yoongi narrowed his eyes at his friend, “What do you know, Joon? What are you plotting? I swear to God, it is too early for your bullshit so cut it out.”

Namjoon couldn’t help but laugh at his skeptical hyung. He smiled, humming to his friend, “I don’t know anything, hyung. I just have a feeling that you’re going to like this guy. If you listened to his music then you’d know what’s up.”

“Fine, I’ll listen to his shit.”

Yoongi groaned and looked around for the kid’s music that he sent in. He grabbed one of the CD’s, squinting as he tried to read the kid’s stage name. J-hope. Yoongi scoffed, that name sounded fucking stupid. He was about to put the CD in to listen to the music when there was a knock at the door. Yoongi put the CD back in his case and looked at his friend, silently telling him to open the door. Namjoon sighed as he got up and moved to let their new client in. Yoongi lifted his head in time to see the new client. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

“H-Hobi? You’re J-hope?”

“You’re Suga? And he’s Rap Monster?”

“Wh-what… I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Well, you didn’t ask.”

Yoongi recoiled, a little hurt by Hoseok’s words. Yet, the more he thought about it the more he realized those words were true. Hoseok had asked him about what he was doing today but it didn’t even cross his mind to see what the other male was doing. Yoongi had it in his head that Hoseok was just a one-night stand so he didn’t bother to try to get to know him when he woke up.

He was about to apologize when Hoseok walked over to him and held out his hand. Hoseok was beaming at him as he introduced himself, “Hi, I’m J-hope, but you can call me Hoseok. I’m a dumbass who has a YouTube cover with millions of hits and I think I can be a star. It’s a pleasure to be working with you on my debut album, Suga.”

There was a playful tone in Hoseok’s voice as he used Yoongi’s own words against him. Yoongi shook his head and took the other male’s hand, “Hey, I’m Suga, but you can call me Yoongi. I’m a well-known music producer and I scraped my knee when I was crawling out of hell so you’ll have to forgive me if I’m an asshole.”

“How charming.”

“I can’t wait to hear what you can do.”

“Didn’t you listen to my music I sent in?”

“Uh…”

Namjoon’s loud laugh started to echo throughout the room. Hoseok couldn’t help but join in when Namjoon pointed at Yoongi and started chanting, “You just exposed yourself, you dumbass! Exposed! You are exposed! Exposed, exposed, exposed!”

Yoongi turned around to slap that smile right off of Namjoon’s face but he felt Hoseok squeeze his hand. Hoseok squeezed his hand again as he smiled, “That’s okay, Yoongi, you must have been too busy all week to listen to it. I can give you a live performance of the songs I sent in, if that works?”

“You’d do that?”

“That’s what I’m here for, right?”

He couldn’t counter Hoseok’s question because he turned around and entered the sound booth. He was smiling as he placed the headphones on his head, securing them over his ears. When Namjoon was done snickering, he joined Yoongi at the control panel and started working to play the music Hoseok had sent in. Yoongi kept muttering curses at Namjoon under his breath, but the younger male paid him no mind. He just continued to smile as he worked.

Yoongi was surprised when he heard the music playing. It was the kind of music you’d hear from an experienced DJ, but as far as Yoongi knew Hoseok wasn’t a DJ. If the music carried on sounding this professional then Yoongi didn’t really know what he could do to help Hoseok, besides making using some autotune on his vocals, if necessary. He was a little drunk when he heard Hoseok sing the other night. He could’ve been imagining that he sounded good because of the alcohol.

It took a few seconds for Hoseok to finally jump in. Yoongi’s eyes widened when he heard him sing, “Don't lie, I know you been thinking it and two times you let it slip from your lips. You got too much pride to make any promises. Thinking that we got time and you want to keep it in.”

Yoongi had never heard a voice so effortlessly beautiful before. He was captivated by Hoseok as he sang the bridge, “I want you out in the pouring rain. I want you down on your knees praying to God that I feel the same. I’m right here, baby, so please…”

Yoongi felt like his heart was beating out of his chest when he heard Hoseok say “baby.” The way it just flowed out sounded like heaven. As Yoongi listened, he realized that Hoseok didn’t need one bit of autotune. Shit, autotune needed him. This was one of the first times Yoongi was left speechless by a client. He had finally found someone who honestly didn’t need his help.

Namjoon seemed to be just as shaken as Yoongi as they heard him sing the chorus, “Hold me up, tie me down ‘cause I never wanna leave your side! Swear to never let you down, and it’s been eating me alive! You can take me home, you can never let me go! Hold me up, hold me up, and tie me, tie me down, down! And tie me, tie me down, down! And tie me, tie me down, down!”

As Hoseok was echoing the words, that’s when Yoongi saw it. That’s when he saw Hoseok dancing. He was moving like he was born to dance, like this just came to him naturally. He was doing some body rolls as he was singing, and he looked so sinful while doing it. Yoongi wasn’t even paying attention to what he was singing at this point. All he could think about was Hoseok’s body and how he had been blessed to touch it last night. Namjoon coughed and nudged his friend to bring him back.

“Uh, Hobi, can you… can you not?”

“Huh? I’m sorry, was that bad? I can sing it again!”

“No, no… can you not… dance.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize I was dancing! I’ll stop!”

Hoseok did not stop. Hoseok continued to dance as he sang the song over and over. Namjoon wasn’t kidding when he said that Hoseok liked to dance when he sang. Yoongi could tell that he was fighting a losing battle when he had asked Hoseok not to dance. Hoseok’s body just moved to the music on its own accord and Yoongi supposed he was just going to have to get used to it. It was clear that Hoseok wasn’t going to stop dancing any time soon.

The younger male eventually finished the song, while dancing. He hopped out of the sound booth and sat on Namjoon’s lap, which triggered Yoongi. He sent a glare to Namjoon, who held his hands up in a “don’t shoot” fashion. Hoseok was oblivious to what they were doing, and he was oblivious to the jealousy he had provoked in Yoongi. He just wanted somewhere to sit and Namjoon looked more open to him sitting on his lap. Yoongi would unknowingly make himself look more closed off so it just seemed like he didn’t want to be bothered.

Yoongi finally acknowledged Hoseok, locking eyes with him as he asked skeptically, “Who helped you make that music? And those lyrics? Who are you working with? That kind of music and those lyrics can only come from someone whose been in this industry for a while.”

“It’s just me.”

“You did all that?”

“Is it that hard to believe?”

From anyone else, those words would’ve come out as passive aggressive, but this was Hoseok. When he said those words he sounded small and insecure, and it made Yoongi’s heart ache. Namjoon’s eyes narrowed at Yoongi, as if he was telling him to fix this. Hoseok had wide eyes and his bottom lip was quivering. Shit, Yoongi didn’t mean to upset him.

Yoongi looked around frantically before he launched his hands out to grab Hoseok’s. He squeezed the hands as he reassured him, “Oh, no! Hobi, I didn’t mean it like that! I meant it like… like I’m impressed! Normally, people come in here expecting us to do all the work, but you came in here trying to make our lives easier! You’re so good, Seok, so good.”

“Seok?”

“Uh, I mean-“

“No… I like it.”

There it was. There was that heart shaped smile that Yoongi adored. Yoongi smiled as he asked, “Okay, Seok it is then. Tell me, Seok, what’s your style? What do you like to sing about? What is it about you that makes you J-hope, huh? I wanna know all about you and your style.”

Hoseok couldn’t help but beam at Yoongi for his interest in him. Hoseok squeezed Yoongi’s hands as he smiled, “I’m really emotional, if you couldn’t tell. I write what I feel so the music depends on that. I guess I’m a bit more pop but I’m down to do anything! I’m a hopeless romantic so I actually wrote that song after I watched The Notebook. I wrote that song like I was in that movie. If I haven’t experienced it then I’ll try to put myself in other people’s shoes to empathize with them. It might sound silly but that’s what works for me.”

Namjoon and Yoongi couldn’t help but smile. Hoseok was so pure and genuine, which was rare in this industry. He wore his heart on his sleeve and put himself into the lyrics and music. He wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable and show the world how he was feeling. Yoongi was so used to people singing and rapping about lovers, drugs, and sex that he didn’t realize just how refreshing it was to hear someone sing from the heart about something that actually mattered to the artist. Hoseok wasn’t making music for the money, Yoongi could tell. He made music for himself and was selfless enough to share it with the world, just in case they were feeling the same way and needed to know someone felt the same way as them.

“No, that’s not silly at all.”

After hours of working on making the song better, Hoseok was cleared to head home for the night. Yoongi said that he would be out soon so Hoseok figured he would wait outside for the other male. His hand was shaking as he reached for the pack of cigarettes in his jeans pocket. He closed his eyes, sighing when he pulled the pack out. He slipped a cigarette out and pushed the box back into his pocket.

His hands were shaking as he lifted a lighter up and lit the cigarette. He told himself that he was going to stop this. He knew he was slowly killing himself by doing this, but his nerves were all over the place. He was working with Suga and Rap Monster on his album and they liked his first song. He felt like he was under some pressure knowing he would have to continue to impress them. They were two of the best music producers in the industry. As much as he was excited to work with them, he was also intimidated.

He had been good about laying off the cigarettes, but that was before he found out he was working with Namjoon and Yoongi. Now, he needed an outlet for all the stress that was piling up inside. He needed to release all these emotions. He needed something to numb all the pain, and his cigarettes could do that for him. He hesitantly brought the cigarette to his lips.

“I didn’t peg you to be a smoker.”

Hoseok jumped, dropping his cigarette in the process. He held a hand over his heart as he turned around, trying to catch his breath as he stared back at Yoongi. The older male couldn’t help but laugh at how easy it was to scare Hoseok. He shook his head as he approached the younger male.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Sorry about your cigarette, too.”

“It’s better this way.”

Hoseok looked down at the cigarette like it was a fallen soldier. He tried to give a small smile as he continued, “I’ve been trying to quit smoking for a while now. It’s a bad habit, I know. I started smoking to relieve the stress in my life, but I found music after. I’ve been so preoccupied with music that I guess I’ve been forgetting… forgetting to smoke.”

Yoongi looked like he wanted to say something but Hoseok shook his head with a smile. His smile was bright as he said, “You probably didn’t want to hear that, sorry. If you haven’t noticed, I tend to ramble so feel free to stop me at any time. It’s late, you wanna head back to my place?”

He couldn’t even protest. Hoseok had grabbed his hand and started to drag him down the street. There was something different about Hoseok, but Yoongi sort of liked it. Hoseok was someone who had a dark side. Yoongi didn’t trust somebody who didn’t have a dark side. Hoseok might be a ray of sunshine on the outside, but it was in the moments he thought he was all alone that Yoongi caught glimpses of the shell of who Hoseok used to be. The Hoseok he caught outside attempting to smoke a cigarette didn’t look like the Hoseok he saw in the studio. The Hoseok in the studio radiated with confidence and there was a dash of humility and insecurity to him that just made him all the more beautiful. But then there was the Hoseok who smoked to numb the pain and ease the stress. These were two very different Hoseok’s, but Yoongi wanted to know both of them.

He allowed Hoseok to guide him back to his apartment, but Yoongi didn’t lean much about the young singer that night. He told himself that he was going to take his time with Hoseok, but once they started kissing all the rational thoughts in his mind seemed to flee. Kissing Hoseok was like sweet poison. It was a sinful temptation. Kissing Hoseok felt good but he knew he couldn’t stop.

He knew he was addicted.

Yoongi woke up in the middle of the night. He groaned as he rolled over, expecting to wrap his arms around Hoseok but the other side of the bed was empty. He poked his head out from under the covers and looked to the bathroom. The light wasn’t on so Hoseok must be somewhere else. Yoongi debated going back to sleep, but he decided against it. He sighed as he pushed himself out of the bed to find the other male.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and yawned as he made his way down the hall. He squinted when he thought he saw a faint light coming from the kitchen. He quietly walked over and smiled when he saw Hoseok standing in front of the open fridge. He looked like he was deep in thought, as if he was wondering if he should eat a whole ass meal or if a simple snack would suffice.

A mischievous smile etched itself on Yoongi’s face as he crept over to Hoseok. Yoongi shouted as he grabbed Hoseok from behind, causing the younger male to scream in terror. He was about to fall to the floor but Yoongi pulled him close to his chest. Hoseok’s chest was heaving up and down as Yoongi threw his head back and laughed at the reaction he forced out of him. Hoseok slapped at the hands wrapped around his middle.

“You’re an asshole!”

“You’re just too easy to scare!”

“You need Jesus!”

Yoongi spun Hoseok around, giving a gummy smile when he saw that Hoseok was trying to pout. Yoongi couldn’t help but lean in and kiss his face until the pout was gone and Hoseok was a giggling mess in his arms. Yoongi loved that sound more than he thought he would. Hoseok was laughing as he stumbled back, taking Yoongi with him. They fell into the counter, causing Hoseok’s elbow to nudge the radio that was behind them. Their eyes widened when they heard music playing.

Hoseok’s eyes were wide when he saw Yoongi bend down and offer his hand to him. A light pink blush dusted across Hoseok’s face when he heard Yoongi ask softly, “Would do you me the honor of having this dance with me, Seok?”

He didn’t hesitate to grab Yoongi’s hand, causing the older male to look up and smile. Hoseok had a bright smile plastered on his face as he returned shyly, “The pleasure is all mine, Yoongi. I didn’t think you were one for dancing.”

Hoseok gasped in surprise when he felt Yoongi place his hand on his hip. Hoseok’s blush deepened as he moved his free hand to place it on top of Yoongi’s shoulder. Slowly, the two of them swayed back and forth to the song that was playing. As the music started to progress, their movements sped up to keep pace with it.

I'll never settle down,

That’s what I always thought...

Hoseok couldn’t help but think that this was out of character for Yoongi. He hadn’t known the older male for too long, but he knew enough. He knew that Yoongi was someone who could come across as cold on the outside, but he was secretly soft on the inside. Yoongi seemed like the kind of person who spent a long time building countless walls to keep people out. Yoongi didn’t seem like the kind of person to ask someone to dance.

Hoseok couldn’t help but laugh as Yoongi started to twirl him around. As Hoseok was spinning, he could catch glimpses of Yoongi. It warmed Hoseok’s heart to see blurry images of Yoongi’s gummy smile. It warmed his heart to know that Yoongi was enjoying himself. Hoseok was biting his lip when Yoongi dipped him low, laughing as he pressed a kiss to his exposed neck. Hoseok couldn’t help but think this song was made for Yoongi. For a guy who had a heart of ice that could melt for the right person.

Yoongi pulled the other male back up and brought him in so their faces were mere inches apart. Nothing was more endearing than the wonderstruck look Hoseok was giving him. Yoongi never thought this would be him. He never thought that he would return to a one-night stand. He never thought that a one-night stand could make him act like a hopeless romantic. He never thought that a one-night stand would turn into him slow dancing in the kitchen in the middle of the night with the only source of light being from the open refrigerator. This was the kind of stuff couples did in the movies. This was the kind of stuff Yoongi never thought he’d be doing, but he liked it.

Or maybe he liked Hoseok.

They continued to smile at each other as they waltzed around the kitchen like they were in a ballroom. Yoongi twirled Hoseok around in circles, drinking in the beautiful sound of his laughter. He felt like a sponge with the way he wanted to soak this moment up and never forget it. He wanted to remember every little detail about this dance. He wanted to remember how Hoseok’s heart shaped smile never left his face. He wanted to remember how the younger male’s laugh sounded at three in the morning when he didn’t have to try to act happy for everyone else. He wanted to remember the feel of Hoseok’s smaller hand in his own, slowly warming more than his cold hand. He wanted to remember the look in those chocolate orbs, the look of falling in love.

Hoseok savored this moment. He held onto this moment and made sure he kept it close to his heart. He cherished the way Yoongi looked at him like he was someone precious to him. He melted under the gaze of those usually distant brown eyes. Those brown eyes shined in the dim lit kitchen. Those eyes gave Hoseok a feeling of giddiness and hope. That gummy smile tugged at his heart strings like Yoongi’s hand on a guitar. Hoseok knew that this was new to Yoongi. He knew that being vulnerable like this was nothing he was used to, and Hoseok felt grateful to be the person Yoongi showed this soft side to. Hoseok was sure that he could fall in love with Yoongi. He smiled and shook his head.

He was already falling.

Suddenly, all the love songs Hoseok wrote were about Yoongi. Hoseok found it hard to write one song that wasn’t about Yoongi. He thought he was oblivious, but it turns out Yoongi was pretty oblivious, too. He had been writing love songs about Yoongi for weeks now, but the older male didn’t have a clue. He kept telling Hoseok he wished he knew how he got the inspiration to write those songs, and he had to resist the urge to kiss him and tell them he was the inspiration.

Yoongi and Namjoon didn’t have to do much work to the song’s Hoseok presented to them. The most they really had to do was have Hoseok back his own vocals on the chorus. Yoongi and Namjoon liked the music he had created so they really didn’t have to make many improvements in that aspect. Hoseok’s voice sounded like honey so they didn’t need to try to use autotune to make him sound better. Namjoon was starting to think that Hoseok didn’t need them, but Yoongi thought otherwise.

Hoseok was in the sound booth with his headphones on when Yoongi turned on his speaker. He spoke into the microphone so Hoseok could hear him, “I like the direction the album’s going in so far, but I feel like something’s missing. There’s something your album doesn’t have that nearly every pop album has, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

“I’m not sure what you mean, hyung.”

“Your album is missing something, Seok.”

Hoseok looked puzzled. He really liked his album. It was full of songs that made you want to smile and dance. The album screamed Hoseok, but Yoongi still thought it needed something more. It needed something different. While it was all well and good to have songs that made you want to dance, it wasn’t enough. That’s when a lightbulb went off above Yoongi’s head. He knew just what Hoseok’s album needed.

He looked at Namjoon and smiled, silently letting him know he had an idea. Hoseok shifted his attention to Hoseok, “I know what you’re missing! You need something different on your album. You need something raw, something that shows you in a different light. You know, like a slow song or a song with a deeper meaning. Something that’s not about being happy or falling in love with a stranger.”

“You… want me to be sad?”

“Think of it as being raw and uncensored.”

“Raw and uncensored, huh?”

“Something real and relatable.”

Hoseok’s face was blank but his mind was racing. The more he thought about Yoongi’s words the more he realized he was right. The other songs he had created were too safe. They were sure to be hits, but maybe he needed a song that wasn’t meant to be a hit. Maybe he needed a song that was meant to hit home. Maybe he needed a song to let everyone know that their little ray of sunshine was a little fucked up on the inside, that he wasn't perfect. Hoseok knew what he was about to do was dangerous, but he needed to take a risk.

He asked for Yoongi to play the music for a track he labeled “Trying My Best.” Yoongi furrowed his brow, he had never seen this CD before. He showed it to Namjoon, who shrugged in return. Yoongi could’ve sworn he never saw this CD before, but then again his studio had so many of Hoseok’s CD’s scattered around the room that it could’ve easily gotten lost. Yoongi found it odd that when he played the track there wasn’t Hoseok’s voice accompanying the music. It was like it was a blank slate.

“I’ll give you raw and uncensored.”

Yoongi didn’t know what to say back when he saw Hoseok’s smile fade. This wasn’t the happy-go-lucky Hoseok he had come to know. This Hoseok didn’t have eyes that lit up when he entered a room. This Hoseok didn’t radiate with positive energy. This Hoseok didn’t dance when the music started to play. This Hoseok wasn’t like the one Yoongi knew.

Hoseok took a deep breath. It was obvious that this song was very personal for him, “I know you think I got it all figured out ‘cause I walk around like my head’s in the clouds, but I’m just a boy with his heart pouring out of his head.”

He wasn’t looking at Namjoon or Yoongi while he was singing. It was almost like he couldn’t make eye contact with anything other than his shoes, “I wish that you could see the pain that I’ve seen, all of the times I spent being not me and… I hope you know that it’s not always happy in my head.”

This song was like nothing Hoseok had presented to them before. This song was raw and exposed, but it was also honest. This was a song that made Yoongi do a double take on all his interactions with Hoseok. He was always smiling, always wearing his heart on his sleeve. Yoongi frowned, it seemed even someone has happy as Hoseok was susceptible to sadness. Even someone who had a lot in common with the sun had some similarities with the moon.

Hoseok’s eyes focused on anything other than the other two males looking back at him. He sighed as he sang softly, “’Cause I don’t know the perfect road to go down, but I know…”

Finally, Hoseok slowly lifted his head. He had a sad smile on his face as he looked to Yoongi, “I’m trying my best. I’m trying my best to be okay. I’m trying my best but every day it’s so hard. And I’m holding my breath, I’m holding my breath till I can say all of the words I want to say from my heart.”

“I… I'm sorry, I need a minute.”

Hoseok shook his head as he took the headphones off and scurried out of the room. Yoongi stood up to chase after him, but Namjoon held onto his wrist. He frowned as he returned, “He’s not like us, hyung. You pushed him to perform that song and he might not have been ready to share that aspect of his life. He can't just disconnect himself from his music like we can. He can’t sing that song and not feel it.”

Yoongi sighed, shaking his head when he felt Namjoon release him. The older male had to make this right. He walked out the door, despite Namjoon’s protests. He was surprised when he saw Hoseok sitting on the floor down the hall with his back resting against the wall. He was wiping tears away when he felt like someone was watching him. He looked up and that’s when he saw Yoongi standing in front of him with a hand out stretched to help him up. Hoseok shook his head, sniffling and wiping the tears away with the back of his sleeve.

“I can sing that song. I know I can.”

“I don’t… I don’t want you to sing that song.”

“But, you wanted something raw and-“

“I’m sorry.”

Hoseok’s eyes were wide as he gaze up at Yoongi. The older male crouched down so they were at eye level as he continued, “I’m sorry I pushed you to do something outside your comfort zone. I was so caught up in making your album be like something I’d do that I forgot that you’re not me.”

“But you know what sells and-“

“That won’t sell because it’s not you.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but smile at Hoseok’s confused expression. Yoongi had a gummy smile as he chuckled, “You’re all about dancing and good vibes. You have created some of the best pop songs that I have ever heard. I know you won’t need a sad song like that to make yourself known. You’re one of the best singer/songwriters that I’ve ever worked with so don’t be so hard on yourself.”

The younger male couldn’t help but blush as Yoongi praised him. He bit his lip before he returned, “When I write sad songs, I write them for me. It’s how I heal. I might not be ready to let the world hear that song, but I’ve got another one that might work for both of us.”

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to.”

Hoseok had his heart shaped smile on his face as he pushed himself to his feet. He grabbed Yoongi’s hand and dragged him back into the studio. Hoseok pushed CD’s out of the way until he finally found the one he was looking for. Namjoon was about to ask what was going on but Yoongi shrugged. It seemed that they were both in for a surprise with this new song.

The singer cheered as he heard the music playing. He rushed into the sound booth and tossed his headphones back on. Hoseok was swaying to the beat with a smile on his face that rivaled the sun. His eyes lit up like a little kid on Christmas. All the tension that once clouded him in the sound booth was gone. Yoongi smiled, this was the Hoseok he knew.

Hoseok was finally back to feeling the music. His eyes were slightly closed but there was a smile on his face as he sang, “Cheers, here’s to nothing. Hope the tears were for something. Can we drink, drink to nothing? Can we toast to the pain?”

Now, Yoongi understood what Hoseok meant that this would be a song for both of them. This song had the good vibes feel that embodied Hoseok while the lyrics were what Yoongi was looking for. Yoongi hated to admit it, but Hoseok was a genius. Yoongi was known for his genius creativity but Hoseok was something else. Hoseok was something special.

Namjoon sat up straight and then leaned in with a smile on his face. This song was so different, “Let’s toast to the pain! Walking through West L.A., Vivienne Westwood chain! Swinging like my mood! Sit around and watch cartoons! In the crib sipping tea, bad bitches on zoom!”

Hoseok was back to dancing while he was singing, and Yoongi didn’t think he could look more beautiful, “I don’t care that I’m alone, I just wanna die happy! Make a couple M’s, invest it back and make it last me! I wanna see my friends and I don’t wanna be depressed! Let’s toast to the pain and let’s toast to the stress!”

These lyrics contradicted the vibe the music was giving off. The lyrics spoke of someone who clearly had it rough, but they were ready to forget it all with a toast. Yoongi couldn’t help but wonder if that was Hoseok eluding to him being a little too fond of drinking. Hoseok was someone who was trying to quit smoking so Yoongi wondered if there was something else he was trying to quit, as well.

Namjoon couldn’t help but clap to the music. Hoseok saw him and joined in as he sang, “Like, cheers, here’s to nothing! Hope the tears were for something! Can we drink, drink to nothing? Can we toast to the pain? Yeah, cheers, here’s to nothing! Can we drink, drink to something? Here’s to years of feeling nothing! Can we toast to the pain? Let’s toast to the pain!”

Hoseok was dancing around in the booth, humming a tune. Namjoon couldn’t help but dance along with the other male. Yoongi couldn’t help but think that this song was much better than the last one. This song let Hoseok be vulnerable, but at his own discretion. He wasn’t pressured into revealing himself like in the other song. This song wasn’t as revealing, but it still let people know that he wasn’t perfect, that he had his bad days. Yet, he was hopeful.

Yoongi thought that Hoseok’s stage name was stupid as fuck when he first heard it. Yet, the more time he spent with Hoseok the more he thought he was starting to understand it. The more he surrounded himself with Hoseok’s company, the more he realized that his stage name was perfect for him. Hoseok embodied hope. Everything about who he was, was hopeful. His smiles spread light but his songs and his entire being gave more. Yoongi smiled, Hoseok was going to give people hope with his album.

And they needed it.

“Yoon, it's time to wake up!”

Yoongi hissed when Hoseok opened the blinds, revealing the bright sunlight. Hoseok grinned as he jumped on top of Yoongi. He wiggled his fingers around like he was going to tickle him and that’s when Yoongi grabbed his wrists. He glared at Hoseok, silently telling him that he would destroy him if he dared to tickle him. Hoseok snickered as Yoongi playfully tossed him to the side so he could get up.

Hoseok bit his lip as he watched Yoongi walk over to the dresser to pull out some of his clothes. A few months had passed and Yoongi sleeping over every night had become something like a routine. Yoongi and Hoseok would record together during the day and then they would spend their nights together between the sheets. Yoongi’s presence had become such a regular thing that he started putting some of his clothes in Hoseok’s dresser.

“Hey, Yoon?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you mean what you said last night?”

Yoongi froze, not remembering anything that happened last night because he had gotten drunk. He remembers he and Hoseok went to a bar last night. Hoseok said he would drive so that Yoongi would be able to drink without any worries. Hoseok had said that he looked like he needed a drink more so he would take one for the team. Yoongi was fairly certain that they had slept together, they always do. Yet, he couldn’t remember for the life of him what he said. It must have been important if Hoseok was asking him if he meant it.

Yoongi furrowed his brow, trying to force himself to remember what he said. Did he say something about officially moving in? Did he ask Hoseok to be his boyfriend? Or could this be something about how his album was almost finished? Yoongi was starting to give himself a headache with all these questions swimming around in his head.

Hoseok must have noticed him struggling so he hopped out of bed and grabbed him some medicine and a cup of water. Yoongi smiled at the brunette and gratefully accepted the water and pills. After he took them, he tilted his head in confusion, still trying to recall what he could’ve said to make Hoseok look so shy and nervous. Hoseok smiled, but Yoongi noted that it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“You know what? Forget I said anything.”

Those words weren’t said with any malice, instead they sounded hurt. Hoseok was shit at hiding his emotions. He could smile all he wanted but those big brown eyes always revealed his true emotions. Yoongi could tell that this wasn’t something that Hoseok wanted to forget, but he was willing to do that for him. Yoongi was about to oppose but Hoseok removed himself.

“It wasn’t that important.”

“Seok-“

“You want pancakes for breakfast?”

There he was. There was the Hoseok that wanted to take care of others more than he wanted to take care of himself. There were tears in his eyes as he asked Yoongi what he wanted for breakfast, but he couldn’t comment on it because Hoseok had turned to walk to the kitchen. Yoongi didn’t understand why his heart was aching in his chest. Yoongi couldn’t help but feel like he had fucked up somehow.

After he got dressed, he wandered into the kitchen to see Hoseok pulling everything out to make breakfast. Yoongi gave a hopeful smile as he said, “Actually, Seok, I’m meeting Jimin for coffee soon, so I’ll just get something there. Don’t stress yourself, yah? How about I bring you a muffin when we go into the studio?”

“No, it’s okay, hyung.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll just pick something up.”

Hoseok couldn’t even look at him, but he still wore that pain filled smile on his face. Yoongi wanted to press him on the matter. He wanted to know what was wrong, but instead he nodded and left the apartment. Yoongi was spending so much time with Hoseok that their friends were beginning to wonder if they had moved in together. Hoseok would blush when he was asked that question, but Yoongi remained quiet.

“So, you and Hoseok are getting serious, right?”

“What are you trying to say, Jimin?”

Jimin had asked Yoongi to meet with him at their favorite bookstore. Yoongi liked it because it was peaceful. Jimin liked it because there was a Starbucks in it. The duo sat together at a table, both of them sipping on their beverages and burning their tongues from time to time. Yoongi was hesitant to get coffee with Jimin, but he knew the other male wouldn’t take no for an answer.

He groaned when he realized Jimin was here to get tea on his complicated relationship with Hoseok. The blonde had a mischievous look in his eyes as he asked, “All I’m trying to say is that you two are spending an awful lot of time together. You know, I wasn’t trying to set you two up that night at the karaoke bar. I didn’t think that Hoseok would take you home that night, but aren’t you glad that happened?”

“I guess.”

“Wow, don’t sound so happy about it, hyung!”

Yoongi rolled his eyes at his friend’s sarcasm. In all honesty, Yoongi didn’t want to talk about this, but Jimin did, “Look, you’re my friend and Hobi hyung is my friend. I just don’t want either of you getting hurt. I know you don’t want to talk about this, but you need to. You know he’s a really nice guy, don’t you, hyung?”

“You don’t think I know that?”

Jimin shrugged as he sipped his coffee. Yoongi put his cup down as he went on, “Seok has got to be the most selfless person I have ever met. He’d rather take care of me than take care of himself. He goes out of his way for me, like making me breakfast and making sure he gives me medicine for my hangover. I swear, he knows me like the back of his hand, and I don’t know how he does it.”

Jimin gave him a look, as if questioning if he was stupid. Jimin shook his head, “You’re really dumb, hyung. Do you ever think that Hoseok just pays attention to you? Hyung, he knows you so well because he’s always watching you, trying to figure you out. Also, you talk a lot when you’re drunk so odds are you’ve told him things about you that you don’t remember saying when you wake up in the morning.”

Jimin kept talking but Yoongi was barely listening. He was so caught up with thinking about Hoseok’s attention to detail that he didn’t hear anything Jimin was saying. He didn’t notice Jimin until he saw his friend waving a hand in front of his face. Jimin rolled his eyes, realizing that Yoongi was in his own little world now.

“Did you hear me, hyung?”

“No, what did you say?”

“I said, what even are you two anyways?”

“What do you mean?”

The blonde couldn’t believe Yoongi was this dense. He sighed before asking, “What is your relationship? What are you two? Are you friends with benefits or are you two already dating and you didn’t tell the rest of us? Like, seriously, what are you two, hyung? It’s been months.”

Yoongi didn’t know how to answer that question, at least not right away. This was something he would have to think about. Jimin was right, it had been months and Hoseok was still keeping him warm at night. Yet, Yoongi didn’t want to say that they were dating because neither of them had brought it up before. It was like they were content with just sleeping together every night.

The older male shrugged, thinking nothing of it as he answered, “He was only supposed to be a one-night stand, if I’m being honest. I never wanted to spend the night with him but when I woke up in the morning, I knew I fucked up. I was never supposed to wake up next to him because I didn’t want anything more with him than a quick fuck, you know? He didn’t strike me as the kind of person you settle down with. He’s more like the kind of guy you keep around because he’s good in bed, but I haven’t cut it off, yet.”

Yoongi looked at his friend, noticing how the color seemed to drain from his face. Jimin’s eyes looked like he was looking at something behind Yoongi, as if he wasn’t looking at him the entire time he was talking. Jimin dropped his coffee on the ground and that’s when Yoongi got up and turned around to grab napkins. Yoongi froze in his tracks when he finally saw what Jimin was staring at.

It was Hoseok.

Hoseok’s bottom lip was quivering and there were tears glistening in his eyes. Yoongi didn’t even want to ask how much of that Hoseok heard because he knew the younger male heard everything. Yoongi could tell by the little brown bag Hoseok was holding that there were two muffins in there, one for each of them. Yoongi’s heart seemed to break knowing that Hoseok was thinking of him while he was calling the younger male nothing but a good fuck.

“Seok-“

“Don’t. Don’t call me that.”

“Please, I can explain-“

“There’s nothing left to say.”

Hoseok shook his head, feeling the tears making their journeys down his face. His shoulders were shaking as his voice cracked, “You’ve already said it all. You don’t need to explain anything else to me. It’s crystal clear now. I was never meant to be anything more than a one-night stand. I was never meant to be anything more to you than someone to keep you warm at night.”

Yoongi reached for Hoseok’s hand, and the sound of a slap echoed through the shop. Jimin’s eyes widened when he saw Hoseok slap Yoongi in the face, causing him to take a step back in shock. Hoseok shook his head and pushed past Yoongi, placing the small brown bag on his table before walking out. Yoongi and Jimin were quick to chase after him, although Yoongi was much faster.

“Hoseok, wait!”

Hoseok whipped around, startling Yoongi and making him stop a foot away from him. Hoseok barked at him, “Just stop, Yoongi! Don’t act like you give a fuck about me! I don’t want to play this game with you anymore! You act like you care about me but all I’ve ever been to you is a warm body that takes care of you in the morning! You’ve never liked me!”

“That’s not true!”

“Then why’d you say it?!”

Yoongi opened his mouth, but then closed it. Hoseok shook his head as he said harshly, “You can pick up your stuff during the recording session today. I don’t want to work with you on the album anymore. It’ll just be me and Namjoon, so don’t even bother coming to the session. Just get your shit and go. If I see you in my apartment when I get back, I won’t hesitate to call the police because I don’t fucking know you anymore.”

Hoseok stepped away when Yoongi tried to reach out for him. Hoseok tried to wipe the tears away, but they just kept coming. Hoseok’s laugh sounded bitter, “Maybe I never even knew you to begin with. I should’ve known those words you said to me were nothing more than a lie.”

Those words pierced into Yoongi’s heart like a knife. He felt like he couldn’t move, so he watched Hoseok turn around and walk out of his life. Yoongi felt hot tears pricking at his eyes as he saw Jimin move to stand in front of him. Jimin looked furious, and Yoongi knew he had every right to be mad at him. Jimin had every right to slap him just like Hoseok had. Yoongi knew that he deserved it.

“What did you say to him?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Did you tell him you loved him?!”

Jimin was shouting at him at this point. Jimin was screaming every curse word he knew, and attracting an audience while doing so. But, all Yoongi could think about were those words, did you tell him you loved him. Yoongi remembered the words Hoseok had said to him earlier this morning and that’s when he started crying. Last night, he must have drunkenly told Hoseok that he loved him and now sober Yoongi had called him nothing more than a good fuck.

Jimin stopped yelling at his hyung when it finally registered in his mind that Yoongi was crying. For as long as Jimin knew Yoongi, he never cried. Yoongi sank to his knees and covered his face with his hands. Jimin was dazed but he joined his hyung on the ground. He was rubbing soothing circles on Yoongi’s back, whispering the same words of “it’ll be okay” like a mantra.

But even Jimin didn’t believe the words he spoke.

Jimin was kind enough to help him to Hoseok’s apartment. Yoongi was a mess the entire time he gathered his belongings in a box, as if he had been fired from a job. Yoongi never thought there would be a day where he would have to remove his clothes from Hoseok’s apartment. He had gotten so used to spending the night with Hoseok that he wasn’t sure if he would be able to sleep without him. Hoseok had become like melatonin to him, and now that he knew he wouldn’t have it anymore he knew he would be welcoming back the sleepless nights.

Yoongi nearly broke down when he walked by the kitchen. His eyes had fallen upon the fridge. His eyes watered at the memories of that night. It was like he could see it all happening before his very eyes, like two ghosts in the night. He was spinning Hoseok around the kitchen under the dim spotlight coming from the refrigerator. He was dancing with Hoseok like they were a married couple that night, and he loved every second of it. He shook his head. He would never have another moment like that with Hoseok now.

Jimin draped an arm around his hyung and steered him through the apartment that had come to feel like home. Yoongi’s heart was breaking as he thought of how this was the last time he would be in this apartment. He wanted to savor this moment. He wanted to remember how Hoseok’s fireplace mantle used to look so empty, but now it was flooded with pictures of his newfound friends. Yoongi wondered if Hoseok would remove the picture of them.

Jimin wanted to stop him from looking at the pictures, but he didn’t. He watched Yoongi walk over to the fireplace to look at the picture of the two of them. Yoongi bit his lip to try to force the tears away as he looked at how happy they were. Yoongi put Hoseok on his shoulders so he could reach an apple high up in a tree. Hoseok had his signature heart shaped smile on his face as he showed off his apple, while Yoongi was looking up at him with a gummy smile.

Yoongi turned around to look at the sofa in front of the TV. He remembered countless nights they spent watching movies together. He smiled as he remembered how he picked out a scary movie, but he had told Hoseok it wasn’t that bad. Hoseok was in his lap by the end of the night, but he refused to take his eyes off the screen because he was determined to show Yoongi he could watch it. Hoseok had endured a horror movie because he knew Yoongi liked those kinds of things. Yoongi didn’t realize just how much Hoseok had done for him, until he lost him.

Hoseok took care of him and supported him through everything, and Yoongi didn’t think he thanked him enough. Hoseok never asked for much. He had once told Yoongi that all he really needed was his company and that was more than enough. Yoongi hadn’t thought anything of that moment until now. Now, all Yoongi had with Hoseok were the memories they had created together.

“Come on, hyung. We should go.”

Jimin had to grab Yoongi and drag him out of the apartment. Jimin drove him back home, offering to stay with him but Yoongi turned him down. Jimin hung his head as he left his hyung alone in his apartment. He wished that Yoongi wouldn’t shut him out. He knew that Yoongi shouldn’t be alone right now but if he pushed too much he would push his hyung away completely.

Yoongi had almost forgotten what his apartment looked like. He would only enter for a couple minutes to grab clothes and anything else he needed. He laid down in his bed and sighed. It didn’t smell like Hoseok. His bed didn’t smell like honey and vanilla. His bed didn’t have an indent on the other side where Hoseok’s body would be. His bed didn’t feel like home anymore.

He laid there until his phone rang. He bolted to his phone. He was silently praying that it was Hoseok calling to talk to him, but it wasn’t him. Yoongi’s face dropped when he saw that it was Jungkook. He debated sending him to voicemail, but he decided to answer it in the end in case the maknae had an emergency.

“What is it, Jungkook?”

“It’s really over, isn’t it?”

Good old Jungkook getting straight to the point, as always. Yoongi sighed as he answered, “Yeah, it’s really over, Kook. Who told you? Jimin? That fucker could never keep his mouth shut about things that don’t concern him. What did he-“

“I heard it from Jin hyung.”

He furrowed his brow, confused how Jin found out. He was about to ask but Jungkook beat him to it, “Hobi hyung called Jin hyung and asked him to come over when he got out of his session. I heard that Hobi hyung fired you, too. I’m really sorry to hear about that.”

“Yeah, well, I really fucked up, huh?”

“Kinda seems like it.”

“But, Jin is with him?”

“Yeah, Jin hyung is taking care of him.”

He felt like he was able to breathe a little better when he knew that Hoseok was being taken care of. Yoongi shook his head. He should’ve been the one taking care of Hoseok. He should’ve been the one to hold him when he cried. He should have been the one to make him smile when he was done crying, but he wasn’t the one anymore.

“Why?”

“Huh?”

Yoongi was confused. He didn’t know what the younger male was asking of him, not until Jungkook snapped, “Why did you do it? Why did you say all those hurtful things about Hobi hyung? Why would you just call him a good fuck when he was so much more to you? Why did you lie, hyung?”

Jungkook didn’t get mad easily, so Yoongi knew he fucked up when the younger male was pressing him like that. Jungkook adored Hoseok, everyone could see that. If Hoseok was upset, so was Jungkook. That was just how he was. Jungkook was too damn empathetic for his own good. He knew Jungkook was crying on the other line at this point, and it made his heart ache. He was hurting everyone around him now.

The older male’s shoulders were shaking. He was struggling not to cry as he replied, “I… I don’t know. I don’t know, I guess I thought I could convince myself that he didn’t matter as much as he did. I thought if I spoke it into existence then it would be true.”

“Why do you push people away, hyung?”

“I haven’t pushed you away, have I?”

“Not yet.”

Those words did not comfort him. Yoongi felt silent tears rolling down his cheeks as he whispered, “I guess I push people away because in the back of my mind I have a feeling they’re going to leave. It makes it hurt less when I push them away first. It’s not as bad when I make them leave.”

“Does it hurt less, now?”

“No, Kook…”

Jungkook stayed on the line, both males crying to each other. Jungkook was crying because both of his hyungs were heartbroken. Yoongi was crying because he had been a fool. He had lost the one person who would’ve stuck by his side through everything. He was a mess because when he pushed Hoseok away, he shattered himself and Hoseok wouldn’t be there to put him back together again.

“It hurts like hell.”

To:  Hobi <3

Tuesday 1:27am

Please, let me explain everything

I promise I’ll be good if you stay with me

I never wanted to hurt you

Fuck, I miss you

Let me come home, please, Seok

Read 1:34am

To:  Hobi <3

Wednesday 11:39am

I know you’re with Joon working on music

I know you’re blowing his mind with your voice

God, your voice is so beautiful

You’re so beautiful

I wish I had told you that more

Please, tell me it’s not too late to fix us

Read 12:34pm

To:  Hobi <3

Thursday 5:15pm

I heard Tae’s with you for dinner

I’m glad you’re not alone

Please, let me talk to you

I know you’re reading these messages

You left your read receipts on…

You’re doing this on purpose

Okay, I know I deserve it

I don’t deserve you

Read 5:24pm

To:  Hobi <3

Friday 9:26am

Good morning beautiful

I know you normally wake up around this time

I don’t know why the hell you’re an early bird

I miss waking up next to you

These past few days without you have been hell

Have they been hell for you, too?

Read 9:32am

To:  Hobi <3

Saturday 11:11am

It’s your favorite time of the day

11:11 make a wish

I wish I could talk to you

To fix what I’ve done

To have you back in my arms

To hear your laugh

To see your little heart shaped smile

To be blessed by your presence

To have you

Please, God, please Seok talk to me

I’m dying here without you

Read 11:22am

Yoongi knew what he was about to do wasn’t going to work, but he had to try. He had to try to see Hoseok. He knew Hoseok was in the studio today with Namjoon. Yoongi lied to everyone and told him he was going to another studio to work with another client, but he was going to Hoseok. Right when Yoongi was going to open the door, Namjoon burst through the doors and blocked his path. Namjoon crossed his arms as he looked down at his music partner.

“Leave, hyung.”

“I need to talk to him, Joon!”

“You’ve said enough.”

Namjoon was about to turn around to go into the studio, but he was yanked back by Yoongi. Namjoon’s eyes widened as he finally took in Yoongi’s appearance. His shirt was half pulled out and half tucked into his skinny jeans. His hair was disheveled, and he had bags under his eyes from an apparent lack of sleep. It was safe to say that Yoongi looked like hell. It was safe to say that Yoongi was not handling the situation well.

Yoongi had fresh tears in his eyes as he grabbed Namjoon’s shoulders and pleaded, “Joon, you have to let me see him! I have been texting him the past five days and he just leaves me on read! Joon, I can’t fix this if he doesn’t let me talk to him! I need him to know that I never meant any of those words! I need to talk to him, please, Joon!”

“He hasn’t written anything but sad songs.”

Time stood still for Yoongi when he heard those words. Hoseok only wrote poppy songs where the beat made you want to dance. His lyrics might be sad from time to time, but the music was always upbeat. It didn’t sound right to hear that Hoseok was only writing sad songs now. That didn’t fit who he was.

Namjoon’s eyes narrowed at him as he hissed, “He’s been fucking smoking during breaks and he came to the studio drunk today! This isn’t like him and you’re the one who did this! He’s a fucking mess but if I keep him from you then one day, he’s going to get better because he’s going to move on!”

Yoongi’s hands fell from his friend’s body as those words sunk in. Hoseok was smoking and now he was getting drunk to try to numb the pain. Hoseok had been so good about cutting cigarettes out of his life. A tear fell down his face when he realized Hoseok was able to stop smoking because he wasn’t alone. Hoseok had Yoongi to keep him company and to distract him from smoking. Yoongi had become his newest, and thought to be, healthiest addiction.

Namjoon was going to kick his hyung out until the sound of Hoseok’s song started playing. Yoongi wanted to take a peek in the studio through the window and he was surprised when Namjoon allowed him that access. He poked his little head in the window with Namjoon watching from behind him. He knew that if he tried to walk in the room then Namjoon would simply pick him up and remove him from the building.

He didn’t like the sight in the sound booth. Hoseok was sitting on the ground in the booth with his headphones on. He was holding a bottle of alcohol in his hand. No doubt he had snuck that bottle by Namjoon and waited until he left to pull it out. Hoseok looked like hell, too. His hair was messy and Yoongi could’ve sworn he was wearing one of his shirts. It simultaneously warmed and broke his heart to see that.

Hoseok took a swig from his bottle before he started singing, “Figures, I gave you ride or die and you gave me games. Love figures… I know I’m crying ‘cause you just won’t change. Love figures… I gave it all and you gave me shit. Love figures… I wish I could do exactly what you did.”

It was obvious Hoseok was crying now. Yoongi could see the faint reflection of his tears on his honey toned skin. There was something so raw about Hoseok’s voice, as if he was finally letting his emotions out. Yoongi could hear the pain in his voice, and the lyrics made him feel like shit. He couldn’t believe he had done this to Hoseok.

The brunette in the sound booth took another drink. He pulled the bottle away as he belted out, “I wish I could hurt you back. Love, what would you do if you couldn’t get me back? You’re the one who’s gonna lose something so special, something so real. Tell me, boy, how in the fuck would you feel if you couldn’t get me back?!”

Yoongi and Namjoon winced when Hoseok chucked the bottle at the wall as he sang the last line. The glass bottle shattered against the wall, causing some of the liquid to drip from the wall and onto the floor. Yoongi had never seen that type of anger in Hoseok before. Sure, Hoseok had slapped him but this was different. This was pure unfiltered rage and Yoongi was the cause of it.

Hoseok covered his face with his hands. His shoulders were shaking as he sang, “That’s what I wish that I could do to you, hoo, hoo, hoo. You, hoo, hoo, hoo. To you, hoo ,hoo, hoo. You, hoo, hoo, hoo.”

Yoongi needed to fix this. He shifted his attention to Namjoon. He grabbed him by the front of his shirt as he stated firmly, “You’re going to help me get him back. You want your singer back? You need to help me. I know how I can make this right but I need your help. I need you to trust me and do this for me.”

“Yoongi hyung-“

“Do it for him.”

Namjoon wanted to shove him away and tell him that he had done enough. He wanted to protect Hoseok from Yoongi. He looked through the window at the sobbing mess of his friend in the sound booth. Hoseok was miserable and a tiny voice inside him was telling him that the only person who could fix him was Yoongi. Namjoon didn’t want to listen to that voice. He didn’t want to subject Hoseok to any potential harm. He didn’t want to do this. He should’ve said no.

But, he didn’t.

Joonie

Hey, Hobi hyung, you got a minute?

Hobi

Of course!!

What can I do for you Joonie?

Joonie

I’ve been working on a song for your album

I really think I’ve got something good

Could you come to the studio downstairs?

Our usual studio’s been booked

Hobi

I’ll be there in 10!! :)

Namjoon was sure he was going to hell for luring Hoseok into the downstairs studio. Namjoon thought he was going to go to heaven, but ever since he met Yoongi he was starting to think he was going to hell. He shook his head as he stood outside the door to the downstairs studio. Yoongi purposely picked this room because it was better suited for dance practices. Namjoon and Yoongi pulled some strings to make this moment perfect. If Yoongi didn’t get Hoseok back then Namjoon was going to personally shove him into shark infested waters wearing nothing but Lady Gaga's meat dress.

“Joonie!”

“Hobi hyung!”

“Are you ready to go to work?”

“Yeah, uh, you go in first, hyung!”

Hoseok smiled as he entered the room first. He looked around and that’s when his eyes locked with the same brown eyes he had fallen in love with. Hoseok turned around to leave the room, but Namjoon had shut the door. Hoseok was about to reach for the handle but he could hear Namjoon locking the door. Hoseok cursed under his breath. Yoongi planned this.

“What the hell do you want, Yoongi?”

“Just… just listen.”

Yoongi was sitting in front of a grand piano. Hoseok remembered Yoongi telling him stories of how he used to play for his family. They would gather around him and they would sing songs. Hoseok fought back the smile that threatened to creep onto his face when he remembered that night at the karaoke bar. Yoongi told him that he couldn’t sing, but it appeared he was finally going to sing him a song.

Yoongi’s slender fingers danced over the keys, creating such a beautiful symphony. Hoseok felt the stress being lifted from his shoulders as he listened to the sweet tune of the piano. He could tell that the music was having the same effect on Yoongi, who was allowing himself to lose himself in the music. Hoseok couldn’t help but look at Yoongi and wonder if this was how it was for him to watch him perform in the sound booth all the time. Hoseok couldn’t help but see Yoongi sitting at that piano and think that he belonged there.

Finally, the older male sang. His voice was not smooth like Hoseok’s. It was raspy and a little pitchy, but Hoseok loved it, “Lying isn't better than silence. Floating, but I feel like I’m dying. Still no matter where I go, at the end of every road, you were good to me. You were good to me, yeah…”

Hoseok felt tears sting at his eyes when he heard those words, you were good to me. The tears in his eyes were blurring the image of Yoongi as he sang, “I know it’s easier to run after everything I’ve done. You were good to me. You were good to me.”

The older male took a moment to play the piano, repeating the same words, “you were good to me.” It seemed that he really wanted to drive the point across that Hoseok had treated him better than anyone he had ever known. After everything Yoongi had done, he still appreciated everything Hoseok had done for him. He wanted to appreciate Hoseok.

The small brunette was slowly starting to walk towards the piano, each step softer than the last. Yoongi hardly noticed as he continued, “Leaving isn’t better than trying. Growing, but I’m just growing tired. Now, I’m worried for my soul and I’m still scared of growing old. You were good to me. You were good to me, yeah…”

He could see the time and effort Yoongi had put into this song. He felt tears pouring down his face as he realized Yoongi wrote it for him, “And I’m so used to letting go but I don’t wanna be alone. You were good to me. You were good to me, yeah…”

Yoongi looked up for a brief moment and saw that Hoseok was now sitting on top of the piano. He had his legs crossed and his hands in his lap as he stared at him through teary chocolate-colored eyes. There were tears dripping from his face and onto the piano, but neither of them found it in them to care.

They refused to break eye contact. Hoseok smiled through the tears as he heard Yoongi sing to him, “God only knows where our fears go. Hearts I’ve broke, now my tears flow. You’ll see that I’m sorry, ‘cause you were good to me. You were good to me.”

Hoseok attempted to wipe his tears away, but Yoongi shook his head at him. They both knew it was pointless, “And now I’m closing every door ‘cause I’m sick of wanting more. You were good to me. You were good to me, yeah…”

Hoseok thought that he could move on from Yoongi, he really did. He thought that if he could keep ignoring him then he could move on. It wasn’t until he saw Yoongi again that he realized he was only killing himself. When he saw Yoongi, he felt like he could finally breathe. He felt like he didn’t need to smoke or drink to feel again. He wished he could stay mad at Yoongi, but he knew he couldn’t.

It felt like both of their hearts were breaking when Yoongi finally let the tears fall from his eyes. He had a sad smile on his face as he sang, “Swear I’m different than before. I won’t hurt you anymore ‘cause you were good to me..."

“Seok-“

Yoongi couldn’t even finish his sentence because Hoseok had scrambled off the piano and tackled him to the ground. Yoongi ignored the slight feeling of pain in his back from taking the fall. It felt like nothing compared to how it felt to have Hoseok in his arms again. Hoseok was lying on top of him, one hand gripping his shoulder and the other tangled in his hair. He was sobbing in the crook of his neck but Yoongi wouldn’t have it any other way. He snaked his arms around Hoseok’s waist and held him as close to his body as he possibly could.

“God, I’ve missed you, Seok.”

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you-"

“I know, I know."

“You’re the worst, Min Yoongi.”

Yoongi smiled through the tears and planted a soft kiss to those brunette locks. He whispered into his hair, “I know, Seok, I know. I know I’ve hurt you and I need you to know I didn’t mean a word I said that day. I was selfish. I was just trying to protect myself by pushing you away. It took me losing you to see what I had. I had the world in my hands, and I didn’t even know it.”

The older male was kissing his head over and over, earning watery chuckles from Hoseok. Yoongi sounded desperate as he said, “God, I’m an idiot. I’m so fucking stupid. I’ll apologize to you for the rest of my life. I’m so fucking sorry, Hoseok, and I will do anything to call you mine. I would do anything to have the honor of calling you mine. Let me love you right this time.”

“Wh-what did you say?”

“I know I should’ve said it sooner.”

They had pulled apart to look into each other’s eyes. Yoongi didn’t stutter as he murmured, “I should’ve said it sober. I love you, Jung Hoseok. I love you for all that you are. I love the quirky little noises you make when you think no one’s listening. I love the way your smile looks like a heart. I love the way your laugh can fill a room. I love how you were good to me, and I’ll do my best to be good to you… to make you feel the way you make me feel.”

“I love you, you damn idiot.”

It felt like everything fell into place when they kissed. All the weight that was crushing their hearts had finally lifted. No longer would they feel like dead men walking. Tongues formed around each other like a dance only they knew. Hands roamed each other’s bodies like they were remapping their territory. Noises and sounds filled the room to create music only they could make together. They pulled away, their breathing heavy but in tune with each other. They leaned in and smiled when their foreheads touched.

“Let’s go home, Yoon.”

“Only if you’re making pancakes.”

They were laughing at each other as they teased each other. Hoseok claimed that Yoongi really just missed the pancakes, while the older male pretended to be hurt that his lover would say such a thing. His lover. Yoongi smiled as he wrapped an arm around Hoseok’s waist. Those two words had a nice ring to them. Hoseok and Yoongi looked at each other. It was an all-knowing look, one that only they would understand.

You were good to me…