Chapter Text
Tony's arms wrapped around me in the crowded airport. Soft flannel fabric that smelled like motor oil and something so deliciously spicy brushed against my nose. It goes straight to my head. A deep sigh escaped my lips and can feel my whole body sag and go a bit softer, like how my mom acts after that first drag of her cigarette after a long day. This warm feeling invaded every part of my senses, made me feel like I was moving through molasses. The people faded away into a blurry of colors as tears came to my eyes.
Warm hands cup my face. Thumbs brushed away the wetness on my cheeks. A smile as soft as I felt graced Tony’s features. His lips fell onto mine like it was the most natural thing in the world. The ball cap he wore today nudged against my glasses and I smiled into the kiss.
I was home.
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“I WANNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.”
First, I get my period for the first time since getting the implant and my uterus was literally trying to Alien-style burst from my body. I couldn’t even begin to handle that shit. Every part of my body just burned and ached, centered right at my crotch. No amount of hot baths and drugs was fixing that problem. I couldn’t move without wincing, let alone think about studying for finals.
That brings me to my second point, what kind of monster tells Calculus 101 students there would be no cheat sheet notecard for the final? I felt like I was barely managing as it was and then he just decided to drop that bomb on us two classes before the test. My brain couldn’t even comprehend the idea of studying for the other finals I have. I was spiraling into a mess of letters, numbers, and equations that made no fucking sense.
“Dying is forbidden,” Tony moved away from the stove to rub my shoulders.
I leaned back into the barstool and tried to make puppy dog eyes at him. Dying would be a great alternative to this nightmare.
“C’mon, I slaved over a stove for like an hour, let’s eat.”
I didn't want to eat. I felt bloated and disgusting, but I couldn't say no. Not just because it would be rude, but because well it was my daddy taking care of me. Tony had been extremely… diligent since I got back. There was always a hot dinner and nutritious breakfast waiting for me when I stayed over now. In the evening, we'd work together in the lab until we were done on a project or too sleep deprived to continue. Then Tony would drag me up to the penthouse, kissing me softly while stripping me down so we could shower together. He would scrub and wash away the paint and pollution of the day.
Then he'd shampoo my hair. His fingers lathered up that magic soap that smelled like heaven, massaging and scratching on my scalp. He was always gentle, never tugging at the knots, and never getting soap near my eyes. He slathered on the conditioner before setting my pudding soft limbs on the tiled bench. If the hair washing hadn't gotten me all floating and warm, watching my daddy scrub and wash away the day's stress certainly finished it off. There was almost never anything sexual about it, usually rushed while I slumped against the wall. His hands worked the soap around his thighs, his torso, the arc reactor. The blue glow reflected off the suds, making the moment even more magical. The intimacy of the action, the comfort he had with me, that made me feel special and loved. That felt like real magic.
The world would get all misty. A soft fog settled over my mind garden, merging colors and ideas for projects with equations, dates, and societally stereotypes. My everything just relaxed.
Tony then helped me put on a set of soft flannel PJ's, each pair some kind wintery design. I noticed a slight increase in different types of clothes for me in the closet, in colors I didn't normally wear. All of them were soft, comforting, and faintly smelled of Daddy™. I couldn't help but stare at them when my clothes were laid out for me.
The clothes were expertly mixed with things I normally wore to class. For example, tonight my daddy picked out something that was 50/50 us. A pair of thick fleece leggings and a structured, expertly designed oversized Wolf of Wall Street vibe button-down dress were matched together, and a new sexy panty set I would never have bought myself was paired with my soft, fuzzy boot socks. All in all, Tony would somehow know exactly what I need to feel good and pretty and worthy.
I knew, that he knew, that I kinda knew what he was doing. We had talked my subspace, that floaty place my mind tries to travel up to while Tony took me apart. We had talked about what I needed or wanted when I was there. He explained his domspace to me, his own headspace that he gets into sometimes where he feels primal, almost godlike as my daddy. We both discussed how good it felt in those places, even without the sex.
And we had talked about the sex part of our relationship a lot when I got back, but consent and trust were really what it was about. It ended with my reassuring Tony that I was very much the one of us deciding we'd be in this kinda relationship, but that he also had a choice. Eventually, it broke further down to me just smooshing his face between my hands and telling him I trusted him with my life. He was my daddy, and Daddy knew best.
"C'mon, let's get you to bed sleepy baby."
"Can I read my art history notes in bed?"
There was so much more to study, so many dates and topics I didn't know yet. I was trying to fight my fuzzy warm headspace. Only two more days of tests. All my papers were finished, projects and modules were wrapped up, and all that remained were my art history and calculus hell tests. I trusted myself enough with Art History assuming that annoying senior kept to himself. And honestly, I'd been so stressed about math nonsense I didn't even consider him a threat to my sanity anymore.
"No work in bed," Tony reminded me, arm around my shoulder. "Do you really need to study? It's like three in the morning already."
"Just one more hour, Daddy, please," I yawned.
"JARVIS, when did I last get a good night message for my girl?"
"Thursday night, Sir."
"And you were with me all weekend, so that means you haven't slept for at least 24 hours," he guided us to the bed. "And a good night's sleep will be good for your test."
He was right, sleep would do me some good. I knew that, but it didn't make me stop feeling guilty for not studying enough. I didn't know every word cover to cover yet, therefore it wasn't enough. And it wasn't just me who needed to sleep. Tony had to fly out to California tomorrow for some kind of end of year presentations. He needed to be rested and present for the long day of meetings and dealing with people. Tonight wasn't a night to fight the rules.
"Daddy," I yawned again, snuggling into the soft sheets, "do-do you mind if…"
An old habit, a coping mechanism from when I was younger, had surfaced again since being back home. Turns out if it was someone else's thumb in my mouth the horrible taste memories of vapo rub didn't creep up. Tony said it didn't bother him, after the first time he woke up with his finger in my mouth. Told me it made him feel good, knowing even in my sleep I sought him out for comfort. I still felt weird about not asking, checking in to make sure he was still okay. I was sure once finals were over, I'd get over it again.
Tony pulled my head onto his chest and gave me his hand. While I held on to it for just a moment, massaging the muscle and tendons, trying to give him any amount of comfort I could, he kissed the top of my head.
"C'mon pretty baby, time for sleep."