Chapter Text
Tutor had been furtively watching the door for at least ten minutes when he finally spotted Fighter enter the university canteen, looking like an eager puppy trying to locate Tutor’s table. Tutor blinked self-consciously as he felt a smile creeping onto his face at the sight of his beautiful boyfriend. Yes “boyfriend”, he had finally accepted that word.
Tutor had been slightly sad as they parted last night, a weird feeling of their bubble disappearing again, just like saying goodbye after their first beach trip. However, this time, after the ten days of turmoil and heart-breaking misery for them both, he felt secure. He knew this was it. No more dancing around each other pretending to be lovers. No more making stupid “honourable” decisions on his own. They were going all in, fighting for this together. If they could deal with homophobic fathers, they could deal with anything. Tutor knew Fighter would be by his side forever, as he had promised
However, this did not mean Tutor knew how to do this, how to be “normal” together with people watching. How he should interact or talk to Fighter in a packed canteen. When they had briefly discussed it, they hadn’t really decided who they should tell just yet. The important one, Hwa, already knew and Tutor would be eternally grateful for her understanding (and even her slightly smutty jokes). And obviously Zon and Saifah had engineered Fighter’s arrival at the beach house. Hell, he was pretty sure they would have heard the reunion, the walls were thin. Tutor smirked when he remembered the noises he had heard coming from their room on the second night.
When they came back to Bangkok last time they’d only been together a few of days before Fighter’s dad had barged into the café and destroyed everything. In that brief period Tutor had needed to squeeze in some missed teaching sessions so they hadn’t had chance to meet up on campus, just hung out once at Fighter’s house to study (and ok to make out). Tutor hadn’t really had the opportunity to worry about what the other students would say, if anyone would notice, before everything came crashing down.
This time they had come to the conclusion they just would “go with the flow” when they got back to university. They would try to settle back into normal life for a few days before they started telling other people. However, going with the flow was easier said than done - Tutor realised every muscle in his body had tensed as soon as Fighter had entered the canteen. He had no idea how to behave around his senior now they were back in the real world, now hundreds of people could see them. He was fine when they spent time alone or with their close friends, but being on campus was different. Tutor didn’t want to keep it a secret but he didn’t quite feel ready to announce it to the whole wide world.
Even though Fighter’s dad seemed to have come round, Tutor knew many people still held similar views. A senior and sophomore in a gay relationship would be whispered about, it would be the best gossip for months. Tutor had worked hard to keep his family’s financial situation concealed, he hated people knowing his business or pitying him. And what about the high school students he taught? What would their parents say? Would he lose business? This wasn’t some Y novel where everyone shipped gay couples, some people were going to have a problem with this.
From the other side of the canteen Fighter caught his eye and started to snake his way between the benches through the busy lunchtime crowd. His phi was wearing the standard navy workshop shirt, hand resting in one pocket as always. Fighter was the only person Tutor knew who used the pocket like that – the hand on his hip producing a confident swagger that Tutor now knew was just a front. It was weird to see Fighter in the sombre engineering top after days of Hawaiian shirts and nakedness. He looked strangely formal.
Fighter beamed at him as he climbed his legs over the bench opposite to sit down. Self-consciously Tutor looked down at his iced tea, beginning to fiddle with the label on the bottle.
“Hi Tor. Sorry I’m late,” Fighter rushed out. He looked happy to see Tutor but a little awkward. “I had to talk to the lecturer about my project plan.”
Fighter started shifting in his seat as if he didn’t know how to position his shoulders or what to do with his legs. He placed his hand on the table, started to reach out to touch Tutor’s hand but seemed to realise the table was too wide so he returned it to his lap and just gazed at Tutor.
“P’Fight,” Tutor responded quietly and smiled, looking up from his drink to meet his boyfriend’s eye nervously. Tutor felt like the entire room was looking at them and he tried to ignore the warmth he could feel creeping over his cheeks. Fighter was so close but they weren’t touching each other - compared to the relaxed intimacy of the previous few days it felt odd and a bit sad. Tutor’s memory flashed back to Fighter’s arm draped around him as they drank wine on the beach, to sobbing apologies in the early hours of the morning, to Fighter lying beneath him, moaning loudly as Tutor fucked him for the first time. Tutor was suddenly ashamed that he was struggling to look at his boyfriend. Fighter clearly noticed his discomfort and shot him a quizzical look.
“You ok Tor?” he asked. The look of confusion quickly changed to panic when Tutor averted his gaze again and did not respond. Tutor was furious with himself for feeling so uncomfortable. After the last ten days, all the tears, the misery and the pain Tutor had put him through, he should be reaching across the table and proudly kissing his boyfriend’s face. He knew he was deeply in love with Fighter and the man deserved to be showered with adoration. But at this moment Tutor felt like an awkward 12 year old, worried people would find out about his crush and laugh at him.
Under the bench, Tutor tentatively reached his hand out and stretched towards Fighter’s knee, gently placing his fingertips on the gap in his ripped jeans. As their skin made contact, Fighter’s eyes widened and he smiled a genuine, calm smile of relief as they held each other’s gaze. Tutor felt himself finally breathe out, some tension leave his body as his lightly stroked the exposed skin.
It would be ok, with Fighter gazing at him like that, he knew it would be alright. They could work out this new normal together.