Chapter Text
Author's Note:
Welcome to another phone-fic - LOL.
This one will probably actually remain a one-shot.
Have a good one!
bobbiejelly
Pillow Talk Buzzkill
"Look, this might be a pillow talk buzzkill, but I have to confess the reason why I think the sex has gotten so bad between us," you say to Derek Christopher Shepherd, and as he calls you "Addison Forbes Montgomery," back.
Another MerAdd two-shot 'Headfuck Love Square' story told in the second person from Addison's perspective. Set around the first Thanksgiving. It's really Gay, of course. Rated M for language, and also for love. MerAdd. meddison. MerDer to MerAdd. Also GAY.
Chapter 1: The Story
"Derek, I think we should have sex tonight," you, Addison Montgomery say to your current husband, Derek Christopher Shepherd one day.
This is after you're trying to reconcile with him after you cheated on him with his best friend Mark Sloan, and you walked into Seattle Grace hospital to find he had a new blonde intern mistress, Meredith Grey, who thought all along she was his girlfriend.
So he broke it off with her, to try with you at some point.
And you haven't slept together since you left New York for Seattle, but you think it's time to rip the band-aid off.
After all, it IS about Thanksgiving...
You're on a ferry boat now. Because Derek Christopher has a thing for ferry boats, and whines when you call them 'just a ferry'.
"Sure, okay, let's have sex tonight," Derek Shepherd says to you, his current wife.
When it finally happens, it's horrible and boring, and both of you are sweating in the trailer but not breathless.
"Thank you," you say now, to Derek because you don't know what else to say.
"You're thanking new for the most boring sex ever?" Derek says right back to you.
You say you used to be good at this, but your not sure how that was possible.
Neither of you got off from that, but when you go to lean in again, your head smashes against his and it gives you both a migraine.
One time, maybe it was that time, maybe it was another time, your vet calls you and you tell him you're trying to have some decent sex here.
You hear the telltale female gasp on the phone that you know is not Finn Dandridge. You never tell your husband who just heard about your bad sex.
It was his ex-dirty mistress, or his ex-girlfriend, or his ex-midlife crisis or whatever and her name is Doctor Meredith Grey.
You swear to god you'll never tell him it was her who he just spoke accidentally to on the phone while you're both naked in his trailer.
It would just make him want her, and you don't know why you hate the thought so much, but you really do.
You get more clarity on that part when she's on your service and she bites her lip a little as she concentrated.
Meredith Grey for you is just pure sex appeal-
And you can't imagine how hot she must have looked like a 'just girl in the bar' that night, and not as a doctor in light blue scrubs, as she is right now.
You wonder if she would ever have a thing for two doctor Shepherds and not just one.
And then you stop thinking about that because you just got your husband back from her.
You've won but you already feel you've lost, and yet, you know she lost the most from you, and you hate that for her more than anything...
You buy her hot cocoa and blame it on the Juju when a patient or two dies.
She rejects your Juju and you decide she'll reject you forever so that's the end of that stupid fantasy.
Eventually, she gave him a love speech and you know he'll take her back.
So you try to sleep with Derek one more time to convince you that you're worth it. Or that he's worth it. Or that you're even into men anymore.
But you're not, and he's not into you, either.
And the two of you just sit in the trailer with no clothes on and try to keep the covers evenly distributed.
"Okay," you start to say to him, because you know if you never say now this you'll never get there.
"Okay," he says back to you, and you see why Meredith might have called him McDreamy, now.
But those big eyes don't work on you anymore, not compared to the way her gentle eyes look up at you.
So you say to Derek Shepherd, your husband of ten years:
"Look, this might be a pillow talk buzzkill, but I have to confess the reason why I think the sex has gotten so bad between us," you say to Derek Christopher Shepherd, and as he calls you "Addison Forbes Montgomery, back."
And all he says back other than your whole name is "okay," again and you want to slap him senseless but you don't instead you talk again.
"I'm in love with Meredith Grey, and I think that you are too," you finally spit out the words at him.
And he shakes his head and says you're wrong. Or at least, you're half-wrong. And you're trying to figure out which half is off.
But then he starts talking to you again. And he says he has even more of a pillow talk buzzkill for you now.
"Look, you might be in love with Meredith Grey and I believe you because she's easy to love and hard to hate and always smells like lavender..." Derek begins to say.
"So what the hell am I wrong about if you just basically confessed your love to her?" You say as you eye him suspiciously.
"You're right I'm not in love with you anymore, and I'm almost relieved you're not in love with me, right now, at all either..." Derek says to you as if he's trying to soften up the blow.
"But the thing is..." Derek starts up. "I'm actually in love with my best friend. And that's why I actually broke up with you," Derek finally squeaks out.
"He's easy to love, also. He's strong and he's funny. And his laugh makes you feel good no matter what. He's manly and he's sensitive and he's always been right there for you..." you offer, so you know he understands you.
"You're not in love with him anymore?" Derek asks you about Mark Sloan.
"No. Are you in love with her, Meredith?" You ask because he's been with her before.
"No. Not anymore, or if I even was compared to Mark, I really am not sure..." Derek finally confesses to you.
"You know what needs to happen next," You finally say to Derek.
"We need to get a divorce tonight?" He offers a bit of a smirk.
"Well, first we need to put our clothes back on. But yeah, we need a divorce," you finally laugh with Derek.
"What will all our friends say!?" Derek panics to you for a moment.
"We'll just blame it all on alcohol, or our parents, or just say we always knew we were gay," you shrug at Derek and offer up solutions.
"Whatever. Just tell me what kissing Mark was like," Derek finally asks you as he puts his pajama pants back on.
"Whatever, Derek? Are you going to tell me what kissing Meredith Grey was like, too?" You ask as he throws you your nightgown.
You slip it over your head before you tell him "you know what, I won't tell you, you should find out for yourself, go call Mark, he probably really misses you," you offer.
"Sure. I'll give you Meredith's number," he says as he puts his t-shirt back on. "You know, I'm actually relieved that you two of it works out won't ever be alone..." Derek finally mutters as you curl back into bed.
"I feel the same way about you and Mark. Who knew that we'd ever feel this way. I'm divorcing you this evening, and you're still my best friend and now my dream wingman," you say to him as you tuck your head into the pillow.
He tucks himself back under the covers, and he sighs as he gets comfortable. "You know, it was technically a buzzkill if a pillow talk. But it was a hell of a life-changing milestone in our lives," Derek finally offers you.
"Can we make this our mutual coming out anniversary, Derek instead of our divorce day?" You ask him as he kisses you once goodbye on the cheek before he sleeps.
"Sure, Addie, whatever you say. Happy coming out day to us both. I'll even buy you flowers to give to your new girlfriend if she takes you on a date after you're no longer Montgomery-Shepherd," Derek offers very McDreamily.
"Ok, I'll buy you scotch to give to Mark, or whatever whiskey that he wants. I miss him and I hope he flies all the way in from New York just to be your brand-new boyfriend..." You say as you fall asleep.
"Goodnight, and goodbye as my wife, Addison, when we wake up we'll call the lawyers," Derek says to you with one last yawn as he rolls over.
"Goodnight, and goodbye as my husband, Derek, when we wake up we'll sign those papers," you say to Derek as he falls asleep.
And you kiss him goodbye on his head before you mentally let him go.
And you can't wait to call Meredith Grey and let her know that if she still wants to date a McHot attending, that you're available...
But before you close your eyes, you sneak out and call the Finn Dandridge.
And you tell him you're not actually trying to have sex again with Derek and you apologize that he heard that the first time. And you tell him that if he wants Grey than he better be ready to throw his hat in the ring for him..."
And then you hear the telltale female sigh on the phone again, and you blush, and you hold your breath for eternity until you hear Meredith Grey scream to the vet, "Finn, we're not going to try to be having sex tonight, because I'm leaving you for my new girlfriend!"
And so hey, your divorce anniversary became you're coming out anniversary which became your first date anniversary with Meredith Grey.
And you could be happier at all, that your buzzkill of a pillow talk could change into something wonderful.
And all the rest is history, and a big Gay happily ever after...
-Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery
THE END BUT NOT THE REAL END, YOU'LL UNDERSTAND IF YOU KEEP READING, BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE, OF COURSE!
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**** END OF CHAPTER ONE
Author's Note 2:
(The second part is a little weird, I get that...)
Apologies. But it's sort of funny, also...
Hope you enjoyed Chapter 1, "The Story" and that you'll leave me a nice comment before you move on to Chapter 2!
bobbiejelly