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The weirdest thing about being an undead bad boy dating a human was how much Connor’s mom loved Spike. She LOVED him. She called him every couple of days to talk about her gardening and her book club and how great retirement was and how she was glad she’d taken the golden parachute and gotten the hell out of her job with the state. Connor’s mom sometimes asked to talk to Connor after talking to Spike but not always.
Mostly Connor thought it was funny but sometimes he would tense up and pout a little and Spike would know Connor needed extra hugs because he was having a pity party about his mom liking his boyfriend better.
Spike liked talking to Connor’s mom but it felt sort of awkward sometimes. Not just because of Connor’s hurt feelings but also because she tried to get him to do things with her. Day time things. It was difficult.
Connor’s mom knew vampires existed but she didn’t know that Spike was a vampire. Spike highly doubted that she would be as enthusiastic about him dating her son if she knew. He loved how much she loved him. Nobody had ever approved of Spike in the same way. She cared about him and thought he was a good person and an interesting person (even without his stories of carnage). She trusted him with snippets of her life and was eager to hear snippets of his. Spike really didn’t want her to know he was a vampire.
Every time she mentioned a barbecue and their new grill and the whole family Spike deflected the best he could but it was getting harder.
----
Spike sat at the head of the bed, sheets twisted at his hips. Connor rested his head on Spike’s bare thigh. They’d smoked a joint before they’d fucked and it had worked its way out of Spike’s system but Connor was still grinning and laughing to himself. His gaze was a little bit unfocused and he kept rubbing his cheek against Spike’s thigh.
“You have great leg hair.”
“Well thank you. I condition.”
“I think the crunchiness of the hair on your head pretty well displays your feelings on conditioner.”
“No no no, I condition the leg hair but no other hair.”
“Ohhhh, well, I appreciate your attentiveness to my comfort, since I think I’m the only person who gets to spend quality time with your leg hair.”
Spike bent to kiss Connor. “Yeah, just you.”
Connor smiled up at him dopily for a long time.
Spike kissed him again and then leaned back against the headboard. “What’s going on in that brain of yours, pet?”
“I want to tell my mom about you”
“I think she knows, love, I do talk to her three times a week.”
Connor shook his head emphatically, “No, no, no. I want to tell her you’re a vampire.”
Spike tensed.
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” Connor said sitting up so he was leaning against Spike’s chest. “I think it’s time. She loves you, it’s not going to change that.”
“Then why tell her? If nothings going to change when you tell her why not have things really not change by not telling her.”
“Honesty? Closeness? So she’ll shut up about the barbecue?”
“I’ll think about it.” Spike said as he untangled himself from the sheets, pulled on a pair of Connor’s sweatpants, and went outside for a cigarette.
When he came back in five cigarettes later he walked into the bedroom ready to acquiesce and found Connor asleep. Spike shucked the sweatpants and fitted himself against the line of Connor’s body, slinging an arm around Connor and pulling him closer. It took Spike longer than usual to fall asleep but eventually he relaxed and drifted away.
----
They had a plan. They invited Connor’s parents over for dinner. Spike made lasagna because it was Connor’s mom’s favorite dinner and he wanted to be on her good side. While Spike was in the kitchen, Connor would tell them. They were both nervous but Connor was considerably calmer than Spike. “They have to keep loving you, don’t they?” Spike had bit out this morning as they made their bed. “This will be the end of them loving me, of any human loving me.” Connor opened his mouth but Spike cut him off. “You don’t count. You are the child of two vampires with two entire sets of memories living in your head. I don’t know why Angel ever pretended you were going to end up with someone normal.”
Connor smiled and then scowled when Spike criticized the lack of hospital corners on Connor’s side of the bed.
----
Connor’s parents were exactly three minutes early. They were always exactly three minutes early. It was some kind of good luck thing that Connor’s grandfather claimed was Irish but that wasn’t recorded anywhere as being part of anything except for their own family weirdness. Spike found it endearing, especially the part where Connor rolled his eyes about it but was still always exactly 3 minutes early.
Connor opened the door and ushered his parents in. After a few minutes of everyone saying hello Spike disappeared into the kitchen. Connor’s mother tried to follow but Connor grabbed her elbow.
“I need to talk to you guys before dinner. And yes, Mom, Spike is using Auntie Darlene’s recipe, he knows how much you like it.”
Spike could imagine the smile on Connor’s mother face. She loved that freaking lasagna.
Connor sat in a chair across from them and worked very hard to project comfort and ease. “Okay,” he said and paused.
“Okay,” he started again. Paused again.
“Okay,” he said and “So…Spike”
“Spike?” His mother asked.
“Yes he’s…okay…”
“Okay. So.”
“Jesus bloody Christ Connor, why didn’t you plan something out?” Spike strode into the room still wearing an oven mitt on his right hand. Spike perched on the arm of Connor’s chair and before Connor could try again Spike covered his mouth with the oven mitt.
“What Connor is trying to tell you is that I’m a bloody vampire.”
Connor’s mother started to laugh but stopped when neither Spike nor Connor laughed.
His Dad stood up and then sat down. He did that several times and then he stood up and started to pace. Connor had warned Spike it might happen. Apparently he did it when Connor’s sister had a pregnancy scare at 15 or when a 17 year old Connor had crashed his dad’s car.
Connor’s mom found her voice first. “A vampire? Like one of those things that attacked us that time? Or like Angel, the head of that law firm?”
“Much more like Angel than the thing that attacked us.” Spike gagged at Connor’s comparison but didn’t refute it.
“How is he? How did you? What?” His mother’s voice was getting higher and higher.
“Mom, Dad, Spike is the same person as he was before he told you.”
“Sure, right, now we just know him better, right Connor?” his father bit out as his mother said “But is he even a person?”
Spike froze and started planning an exit. Connor grabbed his hand.
“Of course he’s a fucking person! And yeah, now you know him better.”
His father scoffed.
“Look you guys, there are a lot of things you don’t know about my life, things you probably wouldn’t understand and that I wouldn’t know how to explain. A lot of things you don’t know are hard things, bad things. Spike is a good thing. I want to share about our life so that you can see the best part of my life is him. I want you to know him, all of him, because I want you to be happy like I’m happy.
Connor’s father still looked angry but his mother was hanging her head.
“Connor,” she raised her head and made eye contact, “we want to know about every part of your life.”
“No you don’t. Trust me. Spike is a part you want to know about though and you can known about him. Do you have any questions about him being a vampire?”
“Does he kill people?”
“Dad!”
“That’s fair. No, I don’t. I only eat animal blood and only kill things that are evil”
His mother choked, “You kill things?”
“Um, yeah, other vampires who are killing people mainly, but also like, rabid dogs and um…IRS employees?”
His father laughed and Spike gave a small smile. After a few more questions (some were for Connor, like his Dad wanted to make sure Connor didn’t have to eat bugs) his Dad sat down and both of his parents were breathing evenly. Spike was slowly relaxing against a slowly relaxing Connor. He leaned his head against Connor’s head and let himself take slow and unnecessary breaths.