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Sameen Shaw was stuck between four white walls. Well, she wasn’t really stuck, she could open the door and leave if she wanted to, but she felt like she was in a cage. Her heart was beating really fast in her chest and she had to bite back a bitter taste of bile in the back of her throat. She was scared, even if she didn’t knew why.
What if there was something wrong? What if things were actually really really bad?
Someone was talking to her – it had to be with her since there was no one else in the small room – but she couldn’t quite understand the words. She felt like she was sinking underwater – couldn’t hear, couldn’t talk, couldn’t breath. Her hands were shaking slightly, but she didn’t noticed, too focused in staring at the small black screen in the corner.
“... and then we can go to the supermarket. We ate the last egg last night, like literally. We only had one and we had to share it.” Her head turned and her eyes finally found the sound’s source. Root, laying down in a hospital bed, both hands in her stomach and eyes locked in the baby blue ceiling, was the one talking to her. “We need to learn how to sustain a house. We forget to buy things and pay bills until we need any of it.”
Shaw wanted to point that Root was the one who said she would keep an eye in the bills for them, but the bile was back and she swallowed hard. The other woman turned to look at her, brow furrowed in worry.
“Are you okay? You’re looking kind of... yellow.”
She wasn’t. “Yeah, sure.”
“Do you want me to hold your hand?”
And just like that, things were back to normal. Shaw rolled her eyes. “Shut up, Root, or I will punch the smile out of your face.”
Root chuckled. “You say the most romantic stuff.”
“Only for you.”
“I’m glad.”
Shaw started to say something, but the door behind her opened before she could. A woman, brunette with kind eyes and a white coat, walked inside with a large smile. “Good afternoon, ladies! I’m doctor Johnsonn, I will be your OBGYN in this adventure.”
Shaw wanted to ask what kind of adventure Dr. Johnsonn was going to have, but she bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself. Root wouldn’t be happy if she was rude to their doctor. The woman closed the door behind her and approached them with a clipboard in hands.
“So, is this your first ultrasound?”
“Yes.” Root answered for them.
The bile was back. Shaw bite her bottom lip and took a deep breath to keep her breakfest in her stomach. Root threw her a glare, a little concerned, but Shaw took her hand away before the other woman could reach for it.
“Is this your first baby?” The doctor had pulled a chair to side beside the bed, writing in her papers in one move.
“Yes.” Root was the one who answered that one too.
Dr. Johnsonn nodded, wrote some more things, then put the clipboard away and looked at them. “Well, I’m sure Dr. Pat had explained most of things for you, but I will be your doctor for the rest of your pregnancy, including the big day.” She gave them what Shaw supposed was a reasuring smile, but it only made the persian take a step back. “I recomend one ultrasound every thirty days, but we have to see how things go throught the pregnancy and decide if we need more or even less.”
Shaw knew all of that. She was a doctor too. She never got to practice it, but she had a degree and she knew all the drill. Yet, her mouth couldn’t form words to let her fellow worker know that. Root was nodding, listening close to whatever the woman was saying, but her left hand was trying to reach out for Shaw. On instinct, the younger woman grabbed her hand and Root’s smile could put the sun in shame.
“Okay, well, let’s have a look on your little miracle!” Shaw wanted to say that it wasn’t a miracle – it was science, medicine – but her tongue was too dry. The doctor pressed some buttons and the black screen came to life, making Shaw’s heart try to jump out of her chest. “We won’t be able to see much today, you’re only in your eighth week, but we will be able to hear the little heart. I will also check if there’s nothing to worry about.” Root squeezed her hand to that. “I will put some of this gel in your stomach, can you lift your shirt, please?”
Shaw let the hacker’s hand go so she could raise the bottom of her shirt enough for the doctor to work. The second Root’s hand was free, the former marine quickly grabbed it again – she hoped Root couldn’t feel her sweaty palms. Shaw never felt that nervous and she had gone throught a lot in life.
What if there was something to worry? What if Root was in danger? What could Shaw do to protect her if they had that type of enemy?
“It’s going to be cold, but it will warm up in a second.” Even with the warning, Root winced a little when the chill gel hit her skind. Shaw took a step closer to the bed, putting her free hand in the thin matress close to her wife’s head – it still felt weird to call her like that. “Here we go.” Dr. Johnsonn suddenly approached Root’s belly with a sort of stick and they all watched as the screen became once more black and white.
Shaw was a doctor. She went throught med school, she had learned a lot of things, including how to make a ultrasound, so she didn’t had to wait for Dr. Johnsonn clue to see what they were looking fore. She saw – even before the own doctor did – the small spot between the weird uncolored image, but she couldn’t think about anything else once a loud ‘humpf’ sounded in the small room.
“That’s your baby’s heart.” The woman said. If Root hadn’t squeezed her hand so tight, Shaw would have realized a serious of factors.
One, Dr. Johnsonn moved closer to the screen, moving her glasses to the tip of her nose while looking at something with enough attention to make the whole ultrasound machine explode. Two, the frequency of the ‘humpf’ was different from what she had expected to hear – like the one she heard in med school. Three, there was more things in the screen than it should be.
“Oh, my!” Shaw, who had moved her eyes to look at Root’s delighted face, turned around to face their OBGYN again and saw the surprise in the woman’s expression..
“What?” She demanded, moving closer to Root out of instinct – to protect her if she had to.
“You better sit down, Ms. Grant.” It took Shaw five seconds to remember that was the fake identification they were using for this whole process.
“Why?” The shorter woman started to shake. She was sure she was about to puke or have a heart attack, or both.
“Because, Ms. and Ms. Grant, this is the sound of one heart.” The doctor clicked at something and the loud sound was suddenly clearer. Shaw’s head was too foggy for her to understand what was going on, even if in the back of her mind she was starting to get it. “This is also a heart.” Root was going to break her hand, she was sure of it. Or maybe she was the one squeezing their hands too tight, she couldn’t tell. “And this...” Why was the woman still talking? “Is another heart.” One last click, another sound, different but yet the same as the other two. The other two. “Congratulation, you’re having triplets.”
“I get it.” Shaw whispered, her knees failling under her. “I get why I needed to sit.” She could see the ground getting closer and closer to her, but, just when she was about to hit it, everything went black.
Shaw gasped for air, sitting up in bed like it was burning her skin. She was sweaty from head to toes and her heart was beating so fast that she could hear it pounding in her ears. Breathing hard, she looked around, trying to understand where she was, only stoping when she saw the bright light coming from the other side of the bed.
“Bad dream?” Root’s voice was barely a whisper and Shaw turned to look at her. She was sitting with her back against the headboard, laptop in her thighs, wearing a fluffy PJ and hair stuck in a messy bun, her eyes had shot quicky at Shaw, before returning to the screen of her computer.
Shaw breathed out all the air in her lungs, before dropping back in bed heavily. She ran her hands throught her face and sighed. “More like a fucking nightmare.” She groaned back. Her heart was still beating way faster than she was confortable with and her body felt too hot, so she threw the blankets away from her legs to feel the cold air in the room. She needed to fix the hot air before winter started, she remembered. “The worst nightmare.”
“Want to talk about it?” Root asked gently, moving her left hand until she found Shaw’s in the mattress to give it a comforting squeeze.
The younger woman shook her head, taking long breaths every now and then. “I’m fine.” She replied finally, rolling so she was laying on her right side. The light in the lampshade was shinning in Root’s skin, making her look much more innocent than she really was – yet, it didn’t do enough justice for her beauty.
The hacker threw her another look, matched with a loving smile. “You sure?”
“Yeah.” Shaw shrugged and moved closer to the other body in bed. She ran the tip of her fingers throught Root’s arm, until she managed to place it against the woman’s flat stomach. Root looked at her hand for a second, eyebrows raised in wonder, before going back to whatever she was doing in her laptop. They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes, Shaw didn’t even realized she had started moving her thumb against Root’s PJ, until the smaller woman’s heart had calmed down enough for her to breath again.
“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”
Shaw rolled her eyes affectionately. “Yeah, and it will still be yes when you ask me again in five minutes.”
Root glanced down at her. “How about ten?”
The ex marine scoffed and decided to lean over a little closer. Her head was now resting against Root’s side, just a few inches from her own hand in the woman’s belly. She remembered her dream – nightmare – and felt a fear run down her spine and give her a shiver. “Let’s just pray you’re only one, huh?” Her voice was so low that she had barely heard it herself.
But Root had probably the best hearing between the team, so of course she had heard it loud and clear in the silent room. She moved her left hand from the keys to move her fingers throught Shaw’s soft hair. “What are you talking about?”
“Shh, I’m not talking with you.” The persian half-joked, tapping her thumb against Root’s stomach a couple of times.
“You’re talking with a part of me, I think it counts as me.”
“It’s debatable.” Shaw smiled happily, feeling some kind of peace that she never felt before. “You’re alone in there, right? You better be.”
Root chuckled, hearing Shaw talk with her stomach in the middle of the night was not something she ever thought she was going to experience. “The first ultrasound is tomorrow, we will find out soon.”
Another shiver ran down her body and Shaw sighed. “Yeah, that’s what’s scaring me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing.” Shaw shook her head and moved again so her head was now on top of Root’s belly. She kept looking at the green fabric of the woman’s PJ like she could see everything beneath it. “Why are you still up?”
“I was reading.” Root shrugged. “Did you know that we will only be able to know the sex when I hit thirteen weeks or more?”
“Yes.” Shaw whispered and closed her eyes. Now that the pure despair from her dream – nightmare – was gone, she was starting to feel sleepy again. “I’m a doctor.”
“Oh, right.” Root giggled, letting her hand fall to rest on Shaw’s shoulder.
“Were you up reading a bunch of stuff I could have told you in the morning?”
“I’m too excited to sleep.” The hacker half shrugged.
Shaw could understand her. They had, literally, got the test result six hours before, they had the first ultrasound in eight hours and it all still felt too surreal. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t sleep, you may have a nightmare like mine.”
Her wife – yep, still weird, even when she was awake – laughed happily. “Aren’t you really going to tell me?”
“No.” Shaw rolled out of her, going back to her side of the bed and Root was finally able to see her screen again, not that she was still interested in whatever was there. “Just tell me, is there any twins in your family?”
“Hm... I think I might have some cousins that are twins, why?”
“Just wondering.” Shaw shook her head from one side to another in a hurry. She looked back at Root’s belly, eyes wide and scared. “Please, be alone there.”