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and i could never let you know

Summary:

the baby monitor protocol was never meant to be used like this, but he wasn't meant to die

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter Text

The city is quiet. Peter kneels on top of a building in the heart of New York looking out over everything. It’s a good vantage point. From where he kneels he can keep an eye on everything from Queens to Broadway. The city is quiet, it has been ever since the Vulture was stopped. Quiet is good.

“I bet you can’t catch a pigeon with your web shooters.” Ned’s voice crackles through the coms. Ned’s always on the other side of the ear piece. Every time Peter goes out his best friend is there to help guide him in the right direction even though sometimes (most of the time) he made stupid requests to test what Peter could and couldn’t do.

“Why would I even want to do that?” Peter asks. There’s a group of pigeons to his left. They’re chilling on the edge of the building.

“Because there’s fifteen bucks on the table saying you can’t.”

The pigeons don’t move. They sit there making the occasional bird noise. “....Karen, what are the chances I can catch a pigeon with my web shooters?”

“Sixty-three percent chance of success without injury to either party. Two percent chance of injury to the pigeon and thirty-five percent chance of injury to yourself. Total odds, one-hundred percent chance of success if you were to aim properly.”

“Ned, get my money ready because I’m bringing home a new friend.”



Peter sneaks in through the window. It’s two a.m., the time blinking at him in the corner of his vision. He comes in through the window because of how late it was. He spent the past fifteen minutes telling Karen that May was going to kill him and then Tony was going to kill him and Ned for disarming the tracker again. His room is dark and the apartment is quiet. 

 

Then the bedside light flickers on. 

 

“Curfew was two hours ago, Peter,” May says from where she sits on Peter’s bed. It’s obvious she’s been up worrying. There are dark circles under her eyes and the clock’s been pulled from Peter’s wall and now lies on the bed next to her. Peter jumps down from the ceiling.

“I know, and I’m really sorry but there was this lady who got locked out of her apartment and then I tried to get in but set off a bunch of alarms so we had to wait for police to show up and she verified I wasn’t trying to break in and then-“

“Peter, it’s alright. You don’t have to explain yourself like this. Just, be careful. And don’t be late again.”

“I won’t Aunt May, I promise.”



“I made some upgrades to the suit.” Whenever Peter’s in one of Tony’s labs he looks at everything in awe. It doesn’t matter how many times he’s been in it whether it’s to work or he’s just passing through, he still looks around at everything like it’s brand new. “I want your opinion on a few before I implement them. Are you even listening?”

Peter looks at Tony. His mentor stands across the lab. In between them is the new suit Tony had been working on. He hasn’t told Peter what the upgrades are but Peter trusts his judgement. He’s Tony Stark, anything he says goes. Peter tells him as much.

“You sure about that, kid? It’s your suit.”

“I know whatever it is it’s gonna be awesome.”



“End of footage.” Karen’s voice echoed through the lab. Tony stared at the wall where the projection had been playing.

He poured another drink. “Play it again.”



“Hey, Karen?”

“Yes, Peter?”

“Do you think the Avengers take spa days? Oh my god, that’d be weird, right? Like, I’m imaging Dr. Banner as the Hulk walking into a spa.”

 

“Miss Romanoff and Mr. Rhodes have gone to Massage Envy together three times in the last six months.” 

 

“Woah, that’s so cool. Could you imagine just working and all of a sudden two Avengers walk in? Must have been wild. Wait. Isn’t Miss Romanoff a wanted war criminal?” 

 

“Miss Romanoff is a Russian Spy who has connections with both the Avengers and the illegal team led by Captain Rogers. She freely passes between countries on account of no one daring to stop her.” 

 

“She’s so cool.” 

 

 

“Let me buy you a churro!” 

 

“Oh, really it’s okay.” 

 

“Nonsense!” the lady says taking hold of Peter’s hand. She starts walking and Peter follows. “Heroes deserve to be paid for their hard work, I don’t have much but I can at least buy you a treat.” 

 

“Thank you, but it’s really not necessary. I’m just happy to help.”

 

“Too selfless, like that Tony Stark. That man would give his life to save the city and won’t take anything for his troubles. You heroes need to let us give back.” 

 

 

“I’m pretty sure having an informant who’s a criminal goes against everything an Avenger stands for,” Peter says. 

 

“If having the informant will help others in the long run would it not be a good thing?” 

 

“Well, yeah, but he’s a criminal, Karen! What if he lies to me? Or he tries to kill me? What if he tries to kill me by lying to me?” 

 

“I can notify Mr. Stark of your location if you’re afraid.” 

 

“No, no don’t do that. I gotta prove I’m Avengers material and that means leaving my comfort zone. Have his contact pulled up, but don’t call him either.” 

 

 

“Tony?” Pepper called from the entrance of the lab. Tony didn’t turn to face his fiancée. His eyes stayed trained on the projection. The clip changed. It was no longer Peter waiting for Aaron Davis but his meeting with the petty criminal who gave information on a drug ring. Tony hadn’t been happy when Peter started working towards bringing down the ring but he let him work. Peter had more than proved he was capable, more capable than all of the Avengers. “Tony?” Pepper called again. She stood behind him now, her hands resting on his shoulders. “How long have you…” 

 

“Couple of hours,” he answered. His voice was dry and raspy. The result of an afternoon of drinking and crying. 

 

“You need to sleep,” she said. “Karen, pause the video.” 

 

“Of course, Miss Potts.” The video paused on an image of Peter and his friend. The friend, Ned, was wearing the suit. He and Peter were looking in the mirror and laughing. 

 

“I’m not tired.” Tony started to pour himself another drink. Pepper took the bottle from him. “Give it back,” he said with no real intention behind his words. 

 

“No. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.” 

 

“I’m not doing anything.” 

 

“You’ve spent the past two days down here combing through hours of footage. Tony,” Pepper spun Tony’s chair so they faced each other. “he wouldn’t want you to drink yourself to death.” 

 

“Yeah, well he’s not here, is he? None of them are because I failed. The kids gone and it’s my fault.” 

 

“Don’t you dare say that.” Pepper took his hands and knelt down so they were eye to eye. “Don’t say it’s your fault. It’s not yours. It’s not Steve’s, or Thor’s.” 

 

“I promised his Aunt I’d protect him.” 

 

“You did. You gave him everything. You gave everything. But this...Thanos, it’s not your fault. It’s not the Avengers fault or the Guardians. You guys did the best you could and now we just have to move on.” 

 

“How?” 

 

“Turn the footage off. Turn it off until you’re ready. Don’t keep watching. It’s killing you and I can’t lose you. Please, Tony. I need you. May needs you.” 

 

“She hates me.” 

 

“She doesn’t hate you, but she wants to talk to you.” 

 

“To yell at me?” 

 

“To tell you Peter wouldn’t want this.” 

 

Tony looked at the paused video. Peter’s grin stared back at him. He’d throw a fit if he saw Tony like this. “Friday, call May Parker. Karen, please file away the footage.” 

 

“Of course, Mr. Stark. Is that going to be all?” 

 

“Yeah. Thanks.” 

 

 

“Mr. Stark!” Peter pulls off his mask and smiles. “Did you see that? I webbed like six guys at once.”

 

“Pretty impressive, kid.” 

 

“Avengers impressive?” Peter asks. It’s impossible not to smile back at him. Peter’s ruining Tony’s “heartless” image but Tony finds he doesn’t really mind.

 

“Yeah, Avengers impressive.”