Chapter Text
“I need to tell you something.” Six words. Six little words that would soon turn his world upside down, even though he didn’t know it yet. Nino’s family was out of the house for the afternoon, so he had invited Adrien, Alya, and Marinette over for an opportunity to hang out and have fun together.
They had all eagerly accepted, and soon were having a grand time at his place. Marinette had been acting a bit antsy the whole time but waved it off with a smile when Alya asked her about it. Of course, her apparent restlessness did not hinder her from joining in when the video games were brought out. Currently, the four of them sat scattered around Nino’s living room taking turns at racing Mario Kart (They’d originally started playing Ultimate Mecha Strike III, but found out that was a very bad idea when Marinette had pummelled them all swiftly, easily, and mercilessly). As Marinette spoke, three heads turned toward her, leaving the game forgotten.
“Can you… can you all keep a secret?” Her eyes shifted back and forth between the faces of her friends. She shifted her weight from one foot to another, nervously wringing her hands together. They all looked at each other, her nervousness the entire afternoon suddenly simultaneously making sense and worrying them.
Alya was the first to speak up. “Of course, girl. We’ll take your secret to our graves.”
Nino nodded. “Yeah, dude. We won’t tell anyone.”
Marinette smiled at the couple before turning to him. “What about you, Adrien?”
He smiled. “Marinette, you can tell us anything.”
She nodded before taking a deep breath. “Ok, so… um… basically…” She began pacing. “I don’t know how to say this. Um, I’ve been thinking…” She stopped, flopping herself down on the couch and burying her face in her palms. “Ugh, this is hard.”
Adrien glanced over at the others again, each wearing a look of confusion and worry. He watched as Alya stood from her seat beside Nino and walked over to her best friend, plopping herself down next to her on the couch and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Take your time, girl. And know that we’re all here for you.”
Marinette nodded from behind her hands, taking a visibly deep breath and sitting up, a determined look on her face. She stood up and wiped her hands on her pants. “Okay, I can do this. You guys are my friends, and I can trust you.” She nodded firmly. “Okay… um. I’ve been thinking about telling all of you for quite a while. It’s a pretty big secret, and this is honestly terrifying, but I figured you needed to know. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is…” she trailed off again. “I guess it’s just easier to show you.” Taking a deep breath, Marinette shut her eyes. “Tikki, spots on,” she whispered.
As a bright pink light flooded the room, Adrien shut his eyes. Wait a minute. I’ve heard that phrase before. Wait… what!? He opened his eyes, blinking until the spots disappeared from his vision and were replaced by new ones. Black spots on a red suit. Ladybug. Marinette. Holy cats. Marinette is Ladybug.
And she was. Standing where Marinette had been just seconds before was Ladybug in all her spotted glory, a sheepish grin on her face. And she had revealed herself to them. To him.
Excitement bubbled up in his chest, a laugh just dying to burst free because he now had a name and a face! He knew who the girl behind the mask was, and she was absolutely amazing! With a smile that could light up the room, the most gorgeous bluebell eyes, cute freckles, an adorably klutzy side that did nothing to detract from her grace and poise, and a kindness in her heart that was only matched by her bravery and her willingness to stand up to those in the wrong, there was no was no way Ladybug would’t be Marinette!
And now he knew that Ladybug had an affinity for the colour pink, made some of the best pastries known to mankind, had an eye for fashion, was the class representative, and was an absolute master at video games. He knew she loved going to the movies and the swimming pool with her friends, sometimes got tongue-tied when she was flustered, had designed various things for Jagged Stone (and had had him over at her house one time on a tv show), Clara Nightingale, and Kitty Section, had a soup by a world famous chef named after her, and often came to class late even though she lived right across the street.
He had seen her in her pajamas with a towel on her head and goggles on her face. He had been to her birthday party and given her a hand-made replica of a lucky charm she had given him to cheer him up. He had been to her house. She was loved by everyone she knew, and he had called her an everyday Ladybug, a statement that he now knew was so accurate it was funny.
He knew so many things about her now that he hadn’t known just minutes before. There was so much more of her to love now, and he knew he would love her in her entirety now that he knew who she was.
His chest swelled with pride and love and excitement. Oh, he couldn’t wait until patrol tonight so he could—
A pang in his chest. Sudden. Sharp. Piercing. A look around confirmed that yes, this was Nino’s apartment, and that he was surrounded by his civilian friends in his civilian identity.
“So uh, ta-da, I guess,” Ladybug said, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
Adrien barely processed the screeches coming from Alya. Barely heard Nino’s “Dude, that’s wicked cool.” Barely noticed how both of his friends were asking the heroine a million questions all at once.
All he could focus on was not breaking down in tears because this hurt. He’d always imagined the moment he and Ladybug would reveal their identities. Nobody else would know except them.
Maybe they’d tell the temporary heroes later, maybe not. It didn’t really matter. The important part was that the reveal would always happen between two trusted partners. Maybe Hawk Moth was defeated, maybe they had just declared their undying love and loyalty to each other, or maybe they’d just finished a battle and dashed off before they transformed back, but neither of them made it away from each other, their transformations dropping and revealing who they really were. Not once had he ever imagined that he would discover the girl behind the mask because she told her friends in her real life that she was Ladybug. He didn’t expect her to tell Adrien Agreste. It was always Chat Noir.
His heart twisted violently. Does she not trust her own partner? The other person who must keep the same secret she does? Who understands better than anyone what she’s going through? Who has been by her side since the very beginning? Who was there to comfort her and lift her up when she thought she would fail?
Why, after everything we’ve been through as partners, would she insist on secrecy between us only to turn around and tell Adrien Agreste her identity? I’ve only had a few conversations with her due to her stuttering and running away. She’s always so flustered and nervous around me. I’d gladly call her one of my closest friends, but how could I possibly be one of hers?
She’s surrounded by people who love her and get to hang out with her a lot more than I ever can, and she’s always so much more at ease, more comfortable around pretty much everyone else, even Chat Noir. So why would she tell the me that makes her nervous over the me that calms her fears and gets her to loosen up during fights and on patrol? Why would she choose the me that rarely has time for his friends over the me that she sees on a regular basis? Why would she choose Adrien Agreste over Chat Noir? Why?
Adrien was torn out of his thoughts by Nino’s hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay, dude? You look kinda pale.” Adrien focused on his friend’s amber eyes, full of concern.
He then noticed the others looking at him. Marinette had detransformed at some point. He nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just shocked, I guess.” He plastered on a smile, the same one he used for modelling, the same one he used whenever he had to put on a brave face for his father. “Wow, it actually makes a lot of sense. You’re amazing, Marinette.” He walked over to her and gave her a hug. When he pulled back, he noticed that she was flushed red, but she was always blushing around him.
“T-thanks, Adrien. That means a lot coming from you.” She was wringing her hands and smiling up at him nervously. Yep. Still nervous around me, so that hasn’t changed at least.
“He’s telling the truth, girl. I’ve always known you were awesome; I just didn’t know how much. Like this explains so much! How did we miss this?” Alya asked, wrapping an arm around her best friend’s shoulders. “But I’m glad you told me. Now I can keep it a secret by making fake theories on my blog or leaving fake clues to find later or something and—” Alya stopped abruptly in a gasp. “MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG, YOU OWE ME SO MANY INTERVIEWS!”
Marinette laughed at her best friend’s antics. “Of course, Alya.” She smiled softly. “I’m glad you’re all taking this well. I’ve been wanting to talk to someone about this for a while and to be able to vent to someone other than my kwami. It’s been getting kind of overwhelming. I figured that my friends would understand.”
Amongst the chorus of agreements from his friends, Adrien couldn’t help but think, So would Chat Noir, right?
Suddenly, he watched as Alya leaned in to whisper something in Marinette’s ear. Marinette whispered something back, and Alya smiled. Adrien watched as Alya gave Nino a look and nodded. Now he was thoroughly confused.
“Adrien, Marinette has given Nino and I permission to tell you our secrets as well,” Alya said. “I'm Rena Rouge.”
“And I'm Carapace,” Nino said.
The knot that had formed in Adrien’s stomach with Marinette’s confession grew larger. He had forgotten the identities of the temporary heroes after the miraculous cure had fixed everything from Miracle Queen's control of the city, and the memories came rushing back with his friends' words.
But this still wasn’t right. Ladybug confessed to her closest friends, all of whom she knew were superheroes, and yet she turned down her own partner every time he’d asked for a reveal. But he’d only been Aspik one time and he’d turned out to be a failure. And here she was announcing her identity to him.
It stung that she seemed to trust the failure of a hero more than the hero who had been there from the start with her. And the other two had followed her example, confessing their alter egos, none of them knowing that he’s Chat Noir. Nausea swirled around in the pit of his stomach, bile rose in his throat, and his palms started feeling clammy. He felt sick.
"Wow," Alya chuckled. "Of course you’re Ladybug. It makes so much sense! Again, how did we miss this?!"
Marinette shrugged. "Magic, I guess. But seriously,” her face became determined, a look Adrien was all too familiar with. "This stays between us. No one else needs to know."
Adrien’s breath caught at that, an unexpected glimmer of hope rising to the surface amidst all the turmoil he found himself drowning in. Because he was hoping. Hoping she knew who he was, that he had somehow given himself away, and that’s why she decided it’d be okay to reveal. Because if she knew who he was, then it didn’t matter whether he was wearing the mask or not. She'd still knowingly revealed when her partner was present.
Still, he wanted to make sure, so he tried to be as nonchalant as possible when he asked, “Does Chat Noir know?”
Marinette shook her head. “Not as far as I know. I haven’t told him who I am. Why do you ask?”
Adrien shrugged. “It just always seemed like you two knew each other’s identities, that’s all.” She doesn’t know who I am after all.
Nino looked at him again, his brow furrowing. “You sure you’re okay, dude?”
Adrien nodded and held out his fist for Nino to bump. If his best friend noticed that it was halfhearted at best, he didn’t say anything. “I’m cool, Nino. It’s just kind of shocking knowing that I’m best friends three superheroes.”
He laughed even though he felt hollow inside. Even though his heart was shattering into pieces because she had chosen her best friends to be superheroes multiple times and the one time she’d chosen him he’d failed her, and yet she apparently trusted him with her secret identity over her own partner. Even though he was holding back the sobs that wanted to tear out of him because she had said no one else needed to know, even though they don’t know Chat Noir is in the room because he’s Chat Noir.
He was suddenly desperate to leave. The walls seemed to be shrinking in on him, and they kept glancing over at him with weird looks in their eyes, and he was trapped. He took a deep breath. I want to go home, but there’s no sense in having a panic attack right now.
When his phone buzzed, he couldn’t pull it out fast enough, almost sobbing in relief when he saw the message from his bodyguard. “My ride’s here. Looks like I have to go.” He shoved his phone back in his pocket and made his way to the door. He paused at the doorway before turning around to face his friends again, putting a smile on his face that he hoped reached his eyes. “Thanks for trusting me with your secrets.” He didn’t give them time to respond before he turned and walked out the door.
The drive home was silent as Adrien stared out the window of the car and got lost in his own thoughts. He refused to let the tears that so desperately wanted to be shed fall. He didn’t want his bodyguard to notice. His throat began to ache with the effort off holding in his sobs and tears. He barely felt Plagg vibrating with a soft purr and rubbing soothing circles through his shirt. That brought a small sense of comfort. If nothing else, Plagg was here.
When he got home, he raced up to his room, closed the door, and threw himself on his bed. He curled up in the blankets and buried his face in the pillow, breathing heavily and choking on sobs that were fighting to break free. He still refused to let himself cry no matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much his heart was breaking. No matter how much it hurt. He had patrol with Ladybug – with Marinette – soon, and he didn’t want to show up with puffy red eyes, a raw throat, and tear-stained cheeks.
The only way he could accomplish his goal of holding back the tears was to hold onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, she’d tell Chat Noir what she’d told her friends that evening. That maybe she did trust her partner, but she desperately needed to talk to someone, and her friends were already right there. Maybe that’s why she didn’t tell Chat Noir first. Maybe she was going to at patrol tonight.
The hope soothed the hurt a little, allowing him to slip into unconsciousness for a short time before he’d have to meet up with the girl who had just unknowingly torn his heart out.