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Shame. In those deep yellow eyes, full of war and tactics a new feeling puddled into them. It engulfed her head and rained down on her thoughts.
What have I done?
Pulling out her weapon to attack Blue Diamond. To destabilize Blue Diamond. She remembered her face. Her eyes filled with crazed pain and her screams cutting through the soured air.
I did that.
White Diamonds words stuck in her ears like concrete.
‘She's so strong… But so weak when it comes to Blue.’
She slammed her hands against the walls of her chambers.
I don't deserve to care for Blue. After what I did. After what I planned to do.
Angry tears shot down her face like an army of gems seizing a planet. She was sorry. Any gem could look on her face and see the pain and the guilt and the bottled emotions pouring out freely now.
‘ And I know you're suffering too!’
She wasn't wrong. She was never wrong… But Yellow Diamond was supposed to be strong, to be as perfect as White herself. But she wasn't. She could never be. Not after what she did.
Yellow?
“Yellow?”
Her head spun around as she remembered
Screaming
Pain
Guilt
Hurt.
“Yes, Blue?” her voice masked it all so well. Her powerful voice, but it was so weak when it came to Blue…
“You're doing it again,” the gem stated softly. She could feel the pain that radiated off the Yellow gem like some sort of toxin.
“Doing what?”
“Suffering in silence.”
Pain
Screaming
Silence
“Why did you come here?”
“I came to tell you that…” the Blue gem trailed off,
“I just wanted to see you.”
“ See me? Did you forget what I did to you?”
“No,” she paused and took a small breath, “and perhaps I won’t forget. But I saw your eyes, Yellow.”
Crazed
Tearful
Frightened
Silence
“I know the pain you felt.”
“Oh, stop this, Blue. You felt real pain. What I felt…”
“Was exactly what I’ve been feeling for years,” she sighed as she tried to place a comforting hand on Yellow’s shoulder. The yellow gem pulled away.
“I… I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you again, Blue,” she sighed as she gazed out the window. The skyline was filled with cracks, and adorned with rubble. More broken than it already was.
Shattered.
Her eyes slammed shut.
“Yellow. What you’re doing… it’s exactly as I did and it was you that brought me slowly from the pit of sadness I always wanted to crawl into. Let me help you,” she said as she reached her hand out.
The Yellow gem glanced back with a millennia worth of tears in her eyes.
“I can’t do this anymore, Blue. I can’t keep hurting you, don’t you dare pretend like I’ve never hurt you before because I’ve seen it. And I hate myself for it,” the tears fell.
‘So weak when it comes to Blue’
“I hate that I’m not strong enough. I hate that I’m not good enough. I hate that I’m not perfect,” the powerful gem rested her body weight on the wall next to her.
“I can’t do it anymore, Blue.”
The blue gem stood in silence. Her ears must’ve deceived her… she couldn’t have heard the magnificent the glorious, gleaming Yellow Diamond admit what she was feeling.
“I will always be with you, Yellow. Whether you want me here or not I’ll always be by your side,” she said as she wrapped her slender arms around her fellow diamond.
“I… I want you with me, Blue,” Yellow sobbed, “that’s my problem. You were always my problem.”
‘Weak when it comes to…’
“ Yellow?”
“I’ve loved you since we formed, Blue. I’d do anything for you, and I… I hurt you. Me. Under no influence but my own free will.”
‘What’s so perfect about it?”
“It’s you, Blue. You’re my weakness.”
Off color.
Blue Diamond took her hand. Forcing the other gem to face her.
“All we can do now is continue living, Yellow. For the good. For the bad. It'll be okay.”
Lips touched softly.
Love?