Chapter Text
She knew this was wrong, but it felt too good to not do it. The hands on her body, stroking her skin and touching her most intimate parts. The voice that rang in her ears and the shivers that ran down her spine. It all felt so good, over and over again. A soft moan rolled over Merel’s lips when one hand slipped into her pants, stroking the fabric of her underwear and pushing down on her clit. The hand only lingered there for a second. There wasn’t much time, it had to be quick, and so the hand moved into the guitarist’s underwear only a few seconds later. Even though her eyes were closed, Merel could see the grin in front of her. Those hazel eyes with dilated pupils, filled with lust as a single finger stroke through Merel’s folds.
Another moan filled the room when the finger reached Merel’s entrance. She arched her back, welcoming the finger inside of her and moaning even loader when it was joined by a second digit. It felt so good, but she had to stay quiet. Quickly she caught her lower lip between her teeth and tried to fight her moans. The fingers started moving, gently stroking her walls before the pace fastened. With her left hand the guitarist tried to hold on to the surface underneath her. Her body was shaking and so was her breath. She could almost feel a warm breath on her face as the fingers dug even deeper, hitting that one spot that drove Merel insane. And that was all it took.
Merel’s mind was blank, except for one name. The one person that had occupied her mind for last months and who’s name rolled over Merel’s lip when the orgasm took over her body.
‘Ch-Charlooottee…’
The name still rang in her ears while she slowly tried to catch her breath. She felt how the muscles in her body started relaxing and she rested her head against the wall behind her. Her eyes were still closed, but she suddenly was aware of how painfully quiet it was. There was not a single sound, only her increased heartbeat and her shallow breaths. When Merel opened her eyes again, she was met by the white walls of the toilet cubicle. The color surrounded her, accompanied by the silence. Charlotte wasn’t there, had never been. The singer was only there in her mind, just like she’d been for the last months.
Disappointed Merel pulled her hand from her jeans. She was disappointed that Charlotte wasn’t there, but she was mostly disappointed in herself. Why couldn’t she be strong? Why couldn’t she resist the temptation? A feeling that resembled guilt filled her as she tried to button up her pants again, her legs shaking as she stood.
The last bit of joy that the orgasm had brought her disappeared as soon as she pushed open the door of the cubicle. She wasn’t alone. Otto was standing at the sink, checking his eye in the mirror for god knows what reason. How long had he been there? What had he heard? The bassist didn’t seem to react to her, but it wasn’t enough to stop Merel’s worrying. With her heart beating fast and her legs still shaking she made her way to the free sink next to Otto. As soon as the scent coming from her fingers reached Merel’s nose, she let the cold water run over them. She was scared Otto could smell it too, and would figure out what she had been doing if he hadn’t already heard all of it.
Not a single word was spoken between the two of them. Merel avoided looking at Otto while she washed her hands, the bass player was focused on his eye. The silence and not knowing what the man had heard almost drove Merel insane. She wanted to get out of there, away from Otto and away from the walls that knew her secret. As quick as possible she dried her hands and turned around, making her way towards the door of the bathroom without looking back. A relieved sigh almost wanted to escape when her fingers touched the handle, but her heart skipped a beat when Otto’s voice sounded.
‘Merel?’
‘Hmm?’
It was the only sound Merel trusted her voice to make. Slowly she turned around, feeling exactly how much her body was shaking. She dared to meet the bassist’s gaze in the mirror, only to regret it when he spoke again.
‘We need to talk after the show.’