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For several decades now, Wayne Manor has been kept in perfect order by Alfred Pennyworth. While his job requirements have increased from Valet to Valet and Head Butler to Valet and Head Butler plus Vigilante Tailor plus Emergency Medic plus Surrogate Father/Grandfather, he still takes a great deal of pride in keeping the Manor (and its inhabitants) in tiptop condition. He has been doing such for so long that most of it, the valet aspects at least, takes very little concentration at this point. Everyday tasks such as dusting, cooking, and doing laundry can be accomplished while Alfred’s mind is on more pressing tasks, such as making sure Bruce remembers Dick's upcoming birthday or that Tim gets at least six hours of sleep that night.
At least, he normally could afford to let his concentration shift away from his chores. As of late, however, he finds that one particular duty has taken significantly more concentration. That being laundry.
It was always so simple before. He could never mistake an article of his own clothing for something of Bruce’s. The same went for Bruce and Dick or Jason. Even when his eldest two grew large enough to possibly borrow Bruce’s casual wear items, neither likely would. They had very different tastes. Even if Tim liked something of one of his older brothers’, he would never fit into them. The same went for Cassandra. Certainly, one would never confuse any of Bruce’s laundry for Tim's or Cassandra’s.
Tim and Cassandra’s clothes, however, were another story.
While Cassandra was a couple inches taller than Tim, the boy had long legs for his height and he wore his shirts longer than Cassandra did. Neither ever wore over-sized clothes or anything too tight. Instead they wore fitted, functional clothing. They also weren’t prone to anything flashy or especially trendy, with the exception of superhero logos.
The result of all these facts was that their clothing was identical in size and not all that different in style.
Add to that the ever growing bond between the adopted siblings, and the fact they often borrowed one another’s clothing wasn’t much of a surprise.
But it did make separating their laundry a challenge at times.
Alfred looked at the plain, ‘Nigtwing blue’ t-shirt for a solid five minutes, trying to place whom it belonged to.
There was an expertly mended tear near the seam on the left sleeve. Alfred only recognized it because he had stitched it himself. He had seen Tim sitting at the Batcomputer late one evening, tired but determined, and absently fidgeting with the torn sleeve. However, a few days later, he had seen Cassandra sitting in the library, tired but determined, trying to read a selection of Emily Dickinson poems that Barbara had recommended and absently fingering the extra stitching on the repaired sleeve.
Deciding that Tim would have appeared more concerned about the tear if it had been Cassandra’s shirt he’d damaged, Alfred placed the t-shirt in Tim’s basket.
Some articles of clothing were easier than others. Anything with Superboy’s logo on it was Tim’s. It didn’t matter if Cassandra was the one to find it and purchase it, she would immediately give it to Tim. Likewise, anything with a classic Batgirl symbol was Cassandra’s. Even if Tim had been the one to select it and bring it home, he would immediately hand it over to Cassandra. Both had the understanding that the other would be allowed to borrow said article of clothing in the future, but they weren’t going to deny the other something with their favorite hero’s symbol on it.
That meant that Alfred could confidently toss the classic Batgirl yoga pants into Cassandra’s basket even though he’d seen Tim wearing them last.
The Green Lantern t-shirt he folded next gave him pause.
Tim had been wearing it the other night. Alfred remembered Tim and Dick insisting that he let them do the dishes after dinner. He’d sipped his tea at the kitchen table and talked with the boys as they cleaned. Dick had indicated the t-shirt and made a comment about Bruce suspecting Tim of fraternizing with the competition.
But he’d also seen Cassandra wearing the shirt a couple days before. He’d paused to keep an eye on her after she’d answered the door for a delivery man from Wayne Enterprises. The man had attempted polite small talk and been met with a suspicious stare. Cassandra wasn’t good with small talk and so Alfred had stepped in, allowing her to slip away.
He finally placed it aside and decided he’d place in whichever pile was smaller when he was finished.
The Superboy sweater was clearly Tim’s, even if Cassandra had been wearing it the previous morning.
The Wonder Woman hoodie was the next confounding article of clothing.
Last Thursday, Tim had been wearing it while he and Cassandra trained together. The boy had taken a particularly impressive leap that lead to a very concerning fall when Cassandra had kicked him in midair. He’d landed hard, missing the training mats entirely, and had put his sister at ease by making a joke about the new hoodie apparently not giving him Wonder Woman’s ability to fly. On Monday, Cassandra had worn the hoodie when she and Tim were back to training together again. She blocked a rubber training Batarang with her arm as if the yellow sleeve was truly Diana’s bracer, teasing that it clearly took a true warrior to harness its power and earning an enthusiastic ‘nice one’ from her brother before he quickly dodged the return fire.
Alfred decided that the Hoodie was Tim’s, since it had been declared new when he wore it. Despite how frequently they borrowed each other’s things, there seemed to be a rule about not doing so until the actual owner of said article had used it first.
Socks were easier to figure out. Cassandra always wore out the heel first while Tim’s always gave at the toes. That meant the subtle Black Canary socks were Cassandra’s, since Alfred was clearly going to have to reinforce the heel. Meanwhile the red socks that had been darned at the spot the second toe generally rested were Tim’s.
Alfred had noticed Tim wearing the Aquaman sweatpants while he was running the other day, but he had stopped Cassandra from walking out the door with the size sticker still on the thigh a few days before. Because of the unspoken ‘new item’ rule, that meant they were Cassandra’s.
Surprisingly, underwear was not as simple as one would think. The sports bras were clearly Cassandra’s, but he’d taken the obvious route with the underpants before only to see the kids discreetly trade a couple pairs. Not that the kids shared underwear, but it turned out they split a package of each style after purchase. Apparently, Cassandra liked to sleep in boxers and Tim preferred boy-shorts (which Alfred learned were actually designed for females) while he was out on patrol.
The Batgirl boy-shorts were clearly Cassandra’s and Alfred took a guess that the Batman ones were hers as well, while the Robin pair were Tim’s. He also assumed the black boxers were Cassandra’s, as she seemed to prefer the color, which meant the red pair and the ones with little Flash logos were probably Tim’s.
In the end, Alfred gave the Green Lantern t-shirt to Cassandra by process of elimination and just hoped that he had a 75% accuracy rating at the least.
While such a situation might have bothered Alfred once upon a time, he found that he didn’t mind the extra effort or confusion with the laundry. It ensured his Valet skills were as sharp as his other skills that were used more common as of late. It also was a side effect of having the children in the house and Alfred wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.
Not since Dick was a young boy had Alfred seen the Manor so lively. It brought a smile to his face to hear Tim helping Cassandra with her reading, or Cassandra showing Tim a different way to take down a larger opponent with a knife. To see them washing the dishes together or raking leaves, speaking quietly to one another or simply working side by side in comfortable silence.
Watching them with Bruce was the best thing yet. He still didn’t have the most obvious paternal skills, but neither of his kids seemed to mind. They read the pride in his stance as he watched them train or return from patrol. The felt the way he lingered when one of them was injured or potentially hurt. They heard the loving words he meant to say instead of the curt ones that actually left his mouth.
Yes, Tim and Cassandra were definitely a welcomed addition to the Manor, as far as Alfred was concerned. Even if their presence meant it took him three times as long to do the laundry.
Besides, sometimes they stopped to help when they weren’t busy. They just started folding their own clothes (mimicking Alfred’s method) while they told Alfred about their days, about what had happened on the last nights patrol or during training. About Cassandra’s latest literary conquest or Tim’s upcoming test at school.
During those times, Alfred almost wished the chore took longer.