Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

It was surreal, stepping into the Council Chamber as an adult and a civilian. During my time as a Jedi, I had only visited the Council Chamber a few times, and never on my own. No youngling really does, outside of some extraordinary situations. The most I'd seen of the Chamber were the times Master Jinn and I had reported back after another one of our disastrous missions, and even then I looked more at the floor than at the High Council.

Now, I walked into the Chamber with my head high and met the eyes of each Councilor one by one. I recognized some faces--Plo Koon, obviously, Mace Windu and Yoda. The others were new in the last twenty years, or not notable enough to have made an impression on me as a youngling. Not that surprising. Very few Jedi stayed on the Council permanently, so obviously the roster would have changed.

The Chamber was still as cold as I remembered--no doubt, all the Councilors got a lot of use of those several layers of Jedi robes. It made me miss my coat, and not just for vanity's sake. The Force swirled slowly around the Chamber, with a peculiar crispness to it as it passed over my skin, like the first breath of cool dry air. It felt...expansive, like the far-reaching view from the Chamber's windows, stretching out for miles and miles to the horizon, or staring up to the stars in the night sky. I felt very small, standing there in front of the High Council, but I stood straight and stepped forward. I bowed, less deeply than was strictly polite--partially because my back still hurt, and partially because I didn't want to be there. "Masters Jedi."

The High Council regarded me cautiously, and I could feel their gazes intensely like a physical pressure--I regretted not putting my cuff back on when I had the chance. I wondered how many of them were comparing me to how I'd been when I left. I wondered if they found me wanting, then decided I didn't care.

Grandmaster Yoda spoke first. "Obi-Wan Kenobi. A detour to the fountains you took, hmm?"

The words struck me with an incredible nostalgia--even after twenty years, Yoda's wry humor and voice hadn't changed a bit. I shrugged. "I had a philosophical discussion with a senator. She disagreed with some of my points. I would have changed clothes, but you did want to see me immediately."

"Hmm. See this, we do," Yoda said. "See you too, we do. Passed much time has, since this Temple, you left. Well are you, Obi-Wan?"

"I am recovering from my encounter with Knight Skywalker, but otherwise I am well," I said.

Yoda nodded. "Changed, you have. Missed, you have been, but elsewhere, your path now lies. A Jedi you are no longer."

"That is correct."

"Still pleased we are, to see you alive and well. Surprised we are, but not unpleasant, this surprise is." He hummed to himself. "A Jedi you may not be, but report to us once more, we ask you. This favor, you will allow?"

It seemed kind of an unnecessary formality, since I was already in the Council Chamber, but I bowed my head. "I'll do what I can. How may I help you, Councilors?"

Master Windu took over. "Last night, you, with the help of Padawan Tano and Captain Rex of the 501st Battalion, found and retrieved Knight Skywalker, who had been kidnapped two days ago. When our search party arrived at the scene, they found Knight Skywalker unconscious and you holding the body of Knight Skywalker's captor, a Sith Apprentice." He held up a hand before I could interrupt. "That's not an accusation. We'd like you to please explain what happened, and how you found the Sith Apprentice."

That was about what I expected.

"Maul wasn't a Sith," I said.

Master Windu sighed. "Detective, I'm not sure if you're aware, but eleven years ago, Master Jinn encountered and defeated a Sith Apprentice during a mission to Naboo. The body we recovered yesterday was, without doubt, the same Sith."

"I'm well aware of Maul's past, Master Windu. He had been a Sith Apprentice, but after he failed to kill Master Jinn at Naboo, his Master cast him out. When he died, he wasn't a Sith. He's a person, and he has a name. I'd appreciate if you'd show some respect and use it."

I felt turbulence in the Force between the Councilors, the Jedi equivalent of indignant muttering. Master Windu leaned forwards. "You believe that the Sith Apprentice...Maul gave up being a Sith?"

"I don't know," I said. "I don't know if being a Sith is something you can rescind your vows to. I do know that Maul didn't choose the Dark Side--his Master forced him into it at a very young age and hurt him horribly his entire life. At the end, he wasn't a Sith and he didn't have that hatred anymore--he was just scared and lonely."

Master Windu's brows came together. "The Sith...let go of his hatred?"

"Maul survived Naboo by feeding the Dark Side with sheer hatred. If he was still holding onto that when I shot him, he would undoubtedly still be alive now." I had mixed feelings about that, knowing Maul had taken my words to heart only when it was too late to save him. "I'm not asking you to like him or even forgive him. But at least use his name."

Master Windu looked at me with an unreadable expression, then nodded once. "Very well. Tell us about Maul and Knight Skywalker's kidnapping, then."

"As you please." I straightened and began, "After Maul lost to Master Jinn, he wanted revenge. Not just for defeating and nearly killing him, but because that failure caused him to lose his place as a Sith Apprentice, the only thing he'd been raised to know. I don't know how exactly he recovered from getting stabbed through the heart or how long he spent planning this, but when I first met him, it was clear that revenge--primarily against Master Jinn and secondarily against his own Sith Master--was his reason for living."

"The first time you met him?" one of the other Councilors cut in, a Cerean man I vaguely recognized but whose name I couldn't recall.

I nodded. "I interacted with Maul twice: the first time three days ago, and then last night when I confronted him. I'll get there. If you'll let me continue?"

The Cerean gestured for me to go on.

"Thank you. As I was saying, Maul wanted revenge. He wanted to, in his words, 'destroy his life and his plans and make sure he knew who brought about his downfall'. For Maul, it wasn't enough to kill Master Jinn--he wanted to destroy him." I took a deep breath. "As everyone here likely knows, Master Jinn's major weakness is his Padawans. First Xanatos' betrayal, then my departure and alleged death--both incidents were more devastating to Master Jinn than any injury could be. Naturally, Maul targeted Skywalker."

Master Windu cleared his throat. "If Maul has wanted revenge for such a long time like you claim, why would he wait eleven years to kidnap Knight Skywalker?"

"Probably because Skywalker only got Knighted recently," I said. "Before then, Skywalker was only a Padawan, and subject to all the supervision from Master Jinn and others in the Temple as all Padawans are. It's much more difficult to lure a Padawan out of the Temple without anyone noticing, especially when there's an active and long-standing training bond between him and his Master."

"Surely, kidnapping Skywalker and hurting him would only make Master Jinn more determined to defeat him," Master Windu said.

"Maybe so, if that were Maul's plan, but it wasn't. Maul wanted to push Skywalker to the Dark Side, then force him to kill Master Jinn. I suppose Maul believed that would be a sufficiently destructive end--for Master Jinn to first see his last Padawan Fall, and then to die by his saber. I certainly don't believe Master Jinn would be willing to cut Skywalker down."

Uneasiness settled in the Force between the Councilors. Skywalker Falling to the Dark Side appealed to them about as much as it did to me, and it seemed from their lack of retort that they did not see it for the impossibility that Master Jinn did.

I continued. "Additionally, at some point in the past few months, Maul uncovered compromising information about Skywalker and took the opportunity to blackmail him. The nature of the blackmail made it so Skywalker was unwilling to go to official resources for help, such as law enforcement or the Jedi Temple, and so instead he came to me, a private investigator."

"Do you know what this blackmail was?" Master Windu asked.

"I do not," I said. "That's something you'll have to talk to Skywalker about on your own."

Master Windu's eyes narrowed. "You're saying you've learned enough over the course of your investigation to know Maul's movements and motivations, but you don't have any idea how Knight Skywalker was blackmailed."

"That is what I'm saying." My voice was perfectly bland. "I'm glad we're on the same page, dear Councilor."

Master Windu eyed me suspiciously, but didn't call me out on my blatant lie. Maybe he realized I had a reason for it, or he genuinely couldn't tell. He pursed his lips, then said, "Very well. Continue, please."

I nodded. "During my investigation, I inadvertently drew Maul's attention. He confronted me soon after intending to find out what I knew and kill me, but chose not to."

"Changed his mind, the Sith did?" Yoda asked.

"His name is Maul," I corrected.

"Hmm, yes. Maul. Convinced him, you did, to remain peaceful? Curious to know, I am, how accomplished this, you did."

"I talked to him," I said. "I got him a meal because he looked hungry and then we took a walk in the city. Some thugs, wanting revenge on Maul, attacked us and managed to injure him. I took him to my apartment to help him recover. It's probably more kindness than he'd ever been shown in his life, and he decided to not murder me in my sleep."

"You gave asylum to a Sith Apprentice? One who wanted to kill you?" Master Windu asked.

"I didn't know he was a Sith Apprentice. I might have had some suspicions about his past, but Sith never crossed my mind, because they're all supposed to be dead," I said. "I saw a man who was angry and lonely and hurting who needed help. What was I supposed to do, leave him to bleed out on the sidewalk?"

Master Windu closed his eyes for a few seconds, then opened them again and said, "Very well, you've made your point. Go on."

"The next morning, which would have been two days ago, Skywalker commed me around 0530, and while I'm here, when Skywalker's done seeing the Mind Healers, someone really needs to tell him about comm etiquette because I did not appreciate being woken up before dawn two days in a row."

"Your concerns have been noted. What did he comm for?"

"He told me he had received another letter and wanted to hear what I'd learned by that point. Maul overheard the end of this conversation, and it was then that I informed him of my profession, and that Skywalker was my client."

"Detective Kenobi..."

"Might some of Skywalker's troubles have been lightened if I hadn't, Master Windu? In hindsight, yes, possibly. There was no way for me to have known that." I tapped my cane on the ground. "Since it was early and I was tired, I went back to sleep, while Maul ate breakfast and left. He used the time I was sleeping to contact Skywalker--maybe he wanted to grab Skywalker before I could derail his plans, or he was always planning to make his move then. He commed Skywalker over an encrypted frequency and coerced him into making a rendezvous at a specific abandoned apartment building in the undercity. Skywalker left the Temple to do so, and on the way Maul met Skywalker in person and told him he was working for me. Skywalker, believing him, let Maul lead him to the given address. Between that trust and the Force suppression in the building, Maul caught Skywalker by surprise, drugged or otherwise subdued him, then used a medical droid already in the building to surgically insert a high-power slave implant. I'm sure his motivations were twofold: first to break Skywalker more easily through neurological manipulation, and second to bring up Skywalker's past trauma as a slave on Tatooine."

"How in the Force did you learn about Knight Skywalker's past?" Master Windu asked.

"Skywalker said a couple of things, and I extrapolated the rest from context. That's not what we're here to talk about," I said. "After Maul captured Skywalker, he took him to the abandoned droid factory, then did something with the implant to make it impossible for Skywalker to leave. Around this time, he probably started to torture and condition Skywalker, both with the implant and with the Dark Side to coerce him into Falling and break him to compliance. How well he succeeded is something you'll have to discuss with the Healers."

Master Windu grimaced. The Force in the Council Chamber grew uneasy.

"That day, Maul also broke into the Temple. He accessed an internal data terminal to look up my information, and possibly some other things, then attempted--and failed--to break into the Archive vaults to retrieve his lightstaff, which Master Jinn brought back to the Temple eleven years ago after their battle."

"That's classified information. How do you know about that?"

"Maul told me," I said. "Moving on, yesterday I got arrested, as you all know. Maul continued working on Skywalker during this time. After you finally released me from custody, I along with Padawan Tano and Captain Rex tracked down where Maul was keeping Skywalker, then went to confront them. We found Skywalker alone in the reactor chamber, who wasn't exactly in his right mind. He, believing I had betrayed him to the Sith and allowed him to get captured, became hostile and attacked us with his lightsaber. We subdued him before he killed us."

One of the other Councilors spoke up, a Nautolan man. "You defeated Knight Skywalker?"

"Yes," I said. "I use an electric baton--it's lightsaber-resistant."

"Knight Skywalker's one of the strongest duelists in the Order right now," the Nautolan pressed.

"And I could beat Jango Fett one out of three times back when we lived together. I know how to fight, and I was lucky." If Ahsoka hadn't been there to keep me from getting choked, or I hadn't had weapons to fight a lightsaber, or I hadn't worn an energy-dispersant coat, then I would have been in a lot of trouble. Not hopeless--I had learned from Jango, and he was the one who'd killed six Jedi with his bare hands. I could never manage that much, but one-on-one I could hold my own, even against the so-called Chosen One. "Can we take my competence as read and move on?"

"You lived with Jango Fett?"

I resisted the urge to do something undignified and continued, "Anyways, the confrontation with Skywalker left Padawan Tano and Skywalker unconscious and myself injured, so I had Captain Rex take Padawan Tano and Skywalker somewhere safe while I talked to Maul to give them time to escape. Maul tried to convince me to become his Sith Apprentice, and I tried to convince him to give up his revenge. I refused, he refused, then he tried to cut me down. I shot him dead. Everything else, you already know."

Tense silence fell in the wake of my speech. I could feel something pass in the Force between the members of the Council as they communicated silently, which wasn't very polite when I was standing right there. My neural port itched again, and I resisted the urge to squeeze it.

After an interminable pause, Master Windu spoke. "That is...quite a story, Detective."

"It's the truth as I understand it," I said. "I'd be happy to elaborate on any points you find confusing."

"We'd like to know how you found Maul. Master Koon and his search party weren't able to find him, even with their abilities in the Force. You, however, found Maul in less than two days, largely on your own. Can you explain your methods?"

I ran my tongue against my lower lip. This was the part that could get me into a lot of trouble down the line. "Are these meetings confidential?"

"Yes," Master Windu said. "Why do you ask?"

"I mean specifically, are you required to report the contents of these meetings to the Supreme Chancellor?"

"We choose what to disclose to the Supreme Chancellor. Rest assured, Detective, we're not planning to arrest you again. In light of your help, we're willing to forgive some dubious actions, so long as no one was hurt."

"I'm not worried because I did anything illegal," I said. "I'm worried because I don't want the Supreme Chancellor to know about this, and I especially don't want him to know who I am. I mean this as a point of personal safety."

Master Windu raised a brow. "Then we will do our best to keep this information from reaching him." He seemed serious about it, but Master Windu always seemed serious. "How did you find Maul?"

"I traced the history of the building where Skywalker was abducted and of the medical droid that operated on him. Both were associated with Palpatine. It was obvious that both had been prepared way ahead of time, so I thought wherever Skywalker was, it was similarly in a location with Force suppression and associated with Palpatine. We ran a search through the Coruscant real estate records to find what could fit that criteria. Luckily, I was right."

"How does the Supreme Chancellor have anything to do with this?" Master Windu asked. "Why would Maul try to frame him?"

"Maul wasn't trying to frame the Supreme Chancellor. He was just using the resources on Coruscant that he was aware of--because they'd been used on him, back when he was a Sith Apprentice."

Master Windu's eyes narrowed. "What are you trying to say?"

"Chancellor Palpatine is Maul's Sith Master."

I felt a ripple through the Force and braced myself for the swell. It didn't come. Apparently High Council members were elected in part by their ability to take shocking news in stride, though their discontent was clear enough.

"A serious accusation, this is," Yoda said. "Sure you are, that Sith the Chancellor is?"

"As sure as I ever am," I said. "Even if Maul hadn't practically admitted it outright, there's virtually no way for him to have stumbled across these locations by accident--one Force-blocking abandoned building managed by Palpatine, perhaps, but not two. Given Coruscant's metropolitan hell, the probability of finding them independently would be astronomically low."

"Plausible you think, that Sith the Chancellor is?"

"It's very plausible. Eleven years ago, when the Sith first appeared in the form of Maul, Naboo called for a vote of no-confidence against then-Chancellor Valorum and Palpatine was voted in to replace him. The Trade Federation droids that attacked Naboo have a striking resemblance to the current Separatist droids, which we know are led by a Sith. I do not think these events are coincidental.

"Furthermore, according to Maul, his Sith Master has been grooming Skywalker for the past ten years to become his next Sith Apprentice. The only person in such a position to do so with Skywalker is the Chancellor."

"You'd trust the word of a Sith Apprentice?" Master Windu asked.

"I would. Maul was a lot of things, but his desire for revenge was very real. He didn't have to make up reasons to want to ruin his Master's plans. He told me it was quite easy to subvert Skywalker after how much work his Master's already done with him--your Mind Healers will probably find some influence on him far beyond the past few days. Ten years is a long time to cultivate hatred and resentment, especially when Skywalker's so socially isolated. He doesn't trust anyone nearly as much as he does the Chancellor, except perhaps Master Jinn or Senator Amidala, and their names aren't attached to the long string of embezzlements and corruptions that led to Maul being able to do what he did."

"That's all circumstantial," Master Windu said. "The only thing you can prove with that is that the Chancellor is corrupt, as many politicians are."

I rolled my eyes. "My apologies, Master Windu. When you called me here to speak with all of you, I didn't realize you wanted me to prepare a twelve-slide holo presentation on why the Chancellor is most likely the Sith Master you have been hunting for over ten years."

Master Windu frowned. "Detective Kenobi, contain your insolence."

I tapped my cane on the ground. "I don't think I will. I don't want to be here, my dear Councilor, and I'm not obligated to be. I am telling you the facts as I understand them, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't question my competence. No, I do not have court-admissible proof that the Chancellor is Sith. You understand I was busy trying to find Skywalker."

"Your competence is not in question," Master Windu said. "But your conclusions are difficult to believe. All of us in this room have interacted with the Chancellor and have never felt so much as Force-sensitivity from him, much less the kind of Darkness that would be expected from a Sith Lord."

"Yeah?" I said. "I'm still Force-sensitive, but I'm sure none of you in this room could say so since I lost my connection to the Force."

"You what?" I heard someone mutter.

I continued, "The Jedi draw their power from connection to others and the Force and life, while Sith draw their power from isolation. Even as I am, I am capable of reaching for the Dark Side--it's not a stretch to assume a Sith could do at least that much. Or is it really that hard to believe they would have abilities in the Force that are alien to the Jedi?"

This didn't comfort the High Council at all, if the way the Force flowed between them was any indication.

"We do know that those who use the Dark Side have ways of concealing themselves," Master Koon said. "And the Force in Coruscant has become increasingly Dark in recent years. It's possible we would not sense a Sith Master so easily, even if they were in front of us."

"But the Supreme Chancellor?" a Tholothian woman asked. "Could it be possible?"

"It's absurd, is what it is," the Cerean replied. "Can we even trust Kenobi? He admits he sympathizes with the Sith Apprentice. Accusing the Supreme Chancellor of being a Sith Master would easily sow distrust and instability in the Republic. In the middle of a war, no less."

I wasn't sure I enjoyed these out-loud aspersions on my abilities and character more than the nonverbal version. I cleared my throat loudly. "Maul was my friend. I'll say that easily enough," I said. "But if you'll recall, I also killed him when he threatened innocent lives and my attempts to resolve matters peacefully didn't work. It should be pretty clear what side I'm on."

"How can we trust you are not Dark?" the Cerean challenged. "You have just admitted you can use it."

"Yeah? Everyone in this room is capable of using the Dark Side," I said. "The thing that stops me from doing so is the same one that stops you, presumably."

"And what would that be?"

"I don't want to. Can we please move on? I thought you all got your accusations against me taken care of yesterday."

Master Koon nodded. "Eleven years ago, we dismissed the possibility of the Sith returning, and we were wrong then. We can't dismiss the possibility Detective Kenobi presents to us now--the evidence may be circumstantial, but we can't discount it. If Detective Kenobi speaks truly, we are in grave danger. It's the least we can do to further investigate these claims."

"Where would we even start?" the Nautolan said. "Palpatine's gotten this far without suspicion--he's clearly good at covering his tracks."

I sighed. I didn't want to sit through this, and standing for so long was making my body ache. "Look, you can debate this later without me. The Sith and the Jedi are way out of my purview. I just figured you'd want to know. Maul indicated his Sith Master had some destructive plans regarding the fate of the Republic and the Jedi Order, so you might want to do something about it. I'd suggest talking to Senator Organa--he's good at gathering support and he's got some dirt on Palpatine from the legal side." Or he would in a few hours once I sent it to him.

"Appreciated, your insight is," Yoda said. "Meditate on this, we shall. If true, it is, then prevented, great suffering may be."

I bowed my head. "In that case, may I be dismissed? I realize I don't look injured, but I did take a lightsaber to the back yesterday and I would prefer to not be standing for longer than necessary right now. If I collapse, Master Che will be very unhappy with everyone in this room, and I'd like to avoid that."

Master Windu made a sour face at me. I didn't think he appreciated my frankness.

"A chair, we can bring you," Yoda said. "One more matter, discuss we would."

I suppressed the urge to sigh deeply. "And what would that be, Grandmaster Yoda?"

"Twenty-two years ago, the Temple you left. On Melida/Daan, you stayed."

"That's correct," I said. "I told Master Jinn that we should assist the Young to end the war on Melida/Daan, and he disagreed. He told me if I wanted to stay, I could, but I would have to give him my lightsaber. Well, here I am now. No lightsaber."

Master Windu looked pained. "Qui-Gon...should not have done that."

"Believe me, dear, I am well aware of that. If things only ever happened as they should, then we would all be much happier, but that's not how the galaxy works and I'm worse off for it." I tapped the handle of my cane. "What does Melida/Daan have to do with any of this?"

"Wish to hear we do, on Melida/Daan, what happened to you," Yoda said. "How spent, your time since the Temple you left?"

This time, I did sigh. I should have expected that as well. Deciding I was well past the point of dignity and politeness, I sat down cross-legged on the Council Chamber floor. I heard some indignant noises, but ignored them. If they wanted me to explain my life story, they could deal with some mild disrespect.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked. "I'm not a Jedi anymore. My life is no longer your business."

Master Windu fixed me with a steady look. "You left to end a war. We would appreciate hearing from you what happened."

I gestured dismissively. "Everything politically relevant about Melida/Daan has been on public record for over a decade. At least some of you must have heard the war finally ended due to the rapid assassinations of three rising faction leaders, which allowed the Young to finally gain enough leverage to force peace talks. Did you want to hear I was the assassin?" I looked Master Windu in the eyes. "I was. I was seventeen and desperate after over three years of non-stop war, so I killed three men in their sleep and went back on all my vows to the Jedi Order in the process. After the war ended, my crimes became known to the public and I was banished from the planet. But this is all public information. I'm sure most of you already know this--there's been plenty of time to look it up since finding out I was alive. What do you really want to hear about my life? And why? Is it just so you can condemn me properly?"

"Obi-Wan, we don't want to condemn you. We don't approve of your actions, but those are in the past and we believe you have changed your behavior since then. That's not what this is about," Master Windu said. "We believed you were dead for twenty-one years. Your death was a terrible tragedy and a great number of Jedi attended your funeral pyre, many of the members of this Council included. You were well-liked and deeply missed, even now. We want to know what happened to you."

I couldn't feel any lie in the Force, but I had a hard time believing that many people cared when I left. My friends, sure, but Knights and Masters? They didn't even know I existed. "What is this, morbid curiosity? Guilt?" I asked. "I've already told Master Che this, but I don't need apologies or help. I'm a civilian now. I'm not your responsibility."

Master Yoda closed his eyes and let out a long breath. "Apologies and assistance, need them you do not, but offer them we do. Mistakes, this Council has made. Mistakes, I have made, when Initiate you were. Willed by the Force, your apprenticeship to Qui-Gon was. Enforced this, I did, and prevented your selection by another Master. Ready, Qui-Gon was not, and hurt deeply, you have been."

I stared at Yoda, feeling something coil in my heart, too tightly knotted to discern exactly what it was. He had no reason to lie to me, but he wasn't making a whole lot of sense, either. Nobody had wanted to take me on as a Padawan when I was younger--I'd been firmly rebuffed more times than I cared to count, and Master Jinn only gave in after I proved I was willing to die for him. Even with that, he let me go easily enough. Clearly, I wasn't meant to be a Jedi.

Yoda had cared for me when I was in the crèche and I had fond memories of him and his guidance when I struggled with visions and interacting with other Initiates. He had assured me many times that I would become a Knight one day, even when I felt hopeless after so many failures and rejections. Was it possible Yoda had been responsible for that pain? That maybe without him, I would have had another Master, one who loved me the way Master Jinn never had, who would have cared about me not just for my willingness to die but for my character and eagerness to learn? Probably. I didn't think he'd bring me here and tell me something that hurtful if it wasn't true. I didn't see the point of it.

"What am I supposed to do with this information?" I asked. "I already left the Temple. Maybe you made your choices, but so did Master Jinn. So did I. Nothing you say now will change anything."

Yoda's ears drooped, and he looked as ashamed as I'd ever seen him. "Hardships, you have experienced. Change this, we may not, but sorry, I am. Sorry we are for abandoning you, when needed us you did."

"If you want to apologize, you're twenty years too late," I said. "You can say them if it'll make you feel better, but I don't need them. I haven't been waiting all this time to hear everyone cared all along."

"We do care about you," Master Windu said gently. "You had the right to leave the Order like all Jedi do, but the circumstances surrounding your departure were not just, and you grew up more alone than any of us could ever know. There's really no way we can make up for our mistakes regarding your Padawanship or how it ended, but we would like to try. Will you please tell us what happened?"

I took a deep breath. As much as I respected the High Council, I didn't owe my life story to them. If they wanted to hear it, then that was fine. It didn't mean anything to me. If they wanted to self-flagellate over the hardships in my life they weren't around for, then that was their problem and not mine.

"All right," I said. "Since you asked so nicely, I'll give you the brief version."

"Thank you, Obi-Wan," Master Windu said. "We know this may be a difficult subject."

"Don't patronize me, dear. I've already agreed to talk. I don't need your platitudes," I said.

I made myself comfortable on the floor, gathered my thoughts, and spoke.

It was a long time before I stopped.

"Detective Kenobi?"

I glanced up from my datapad to see Master Koon standing in the doorway of my medical room. After my report to the Council, I had returned to the Halls of Healing to get my new hand reattached, as well as another check-up on my injuries. With those matters and my report to the Council completed, I was pretty much free to leave the Temple, but I had wanted to take care of a few matters first.

"Master Koon. Do you need something?" I asked.

"I have a delivery for you. May I come in?"

I gestured for him to do so. "What did you want to give me?"

Master Koon held out a small bundle. "These are the clothes you requisitioned. I hope they are to your tastes."

I nodded and took the bundle. I had requested to have my clothes laundered or, if they were beyond saving, replaced. Apparently, the quartermaster thought most of my things were in the latter category. "I'll wear most things if they fit, and some things that don't. Anything would be better than the Hall robes," I said, looking through them. It was standard fare: a soft tan undershirt, a crisp red draped tunic, sturdy brown trousers, and a charcoal-gray hooded cloak, all with that recently fabricated smell--the benefit of having access to tailoring technology meant for an entire Jedi Temple, I supposed. It was Jedi in style, all solid colors and loose sleeves without embellishments and a little lackluster for it, but not so overtly Jedi that someone might mistake me for one out in public. I held up the cloak. "Did my coat not make it?"

Master Koon shook his head. "The lightsaber strike irreparably damaged the thermal mesh. You can still wear it, of course, and we are currently mending it, but it will never block a blaster bolt again. We would have provided a replacement, but unfortunately, blaster-proof clothes are a little beyond us, in materials and in tailoring."

That was reasonable, if inconvenient. As it had been explained to me, the blaster-proof part of blaster-proof weave came from metamaterial properties that only worked if the whole fabric was intact and in the appropriate geometry to redirect and disperse energy from a bolt. Making clothes out of it was a little less tailoring and a little more sculpture, with enough differential equations to make my head hurt. Something like my coat needed multiple specialists the Temple wouldn't have. Not when a single lightsaber strike instantly rendered all that work and money useless.

I quietly mourned the loss of my coat. I'd had it for over seven years and it had saved my life at least fifteen times. That was a good run. I had to admit, blocking one final lethal lightsaber slash was an impressive way to go out.

"Well, I'm not planning to get shot any time soon," I said, pulling the cloak on. It was loose and felt a lot like wearing a blanket, which wasn't very dignified, but it was pleasantly heavy and warm. I pulled it tight around my chest and decided I liked it.

This seemed to amuse Master Koon, though his body language remained serene as ever. "I take it you approve?"

"Mm, it's not bad," I said, running my fingers over the fabric. It was one of the softest things I'd ever felt, and I'd worn Bail's shirts before. "But I don't think you just came here to deliver a set of clothes. How can I help you, Master Koon?"

"I wanted to discuss compensation for your work," Master Koon said. "I understand your usual rates are five hundred credits a day?"

"Plus expenses. That's correct," I said.

Master Koon nodded. "We have set aside four thousand credits as payment for your services and assistance in recovering Knight Skywalker. Would this be sufficient?"

I took a second to parse that. Somehow, between going off to find Skywalker last night and everything I'd learned from my conversation with Maul and all the mess of this morning, the thought of payment never even crossed my mind. Just the idea of it now made me feel slimy. "I don't want it."

"I...beg your pardon?"

"I don't want it. Skywalker already paid me a thousand credit retainer when he hired me to investigate his blackmail. I spent two days investigating his blackmail. I'm not charging him extra for getting kidnapped. That would be ridiculous."

"By your accounts, you helped investigate the kidnapping for over a day. Surely you deserve some compensation for that?"

"That was on my own time, and I was detained in the Temple for most of that," I said. "Ahsoka and Rex did most of the legwork--if you want to reward someone you can talk to them."

"Detective Kenobi. I think we both know that without your involvement, it would have taken us much longer to find Knight Skywalker, if at all. Maybe Maul's plan would have even succeeded, leading to Knight Skywalker's Fall to the Dark Side and Master Jinn's death."

"That's possible," I said.

"We would like to compensate you fairly for preventing that eventuality, or at least for saving Knight Skywalker much more suffering than he would have endured otherwise."

"And you have. The Healers here have graciously re-plated my neural port and provided me with a replacement hand, including the phrik plating, which I know is hard to get, even with the Temple's resources. The usual costs for that kind of custom work would easily be a few thousand credits. If you're talking financial compensation, the Temple's services have well exceeded my standard rates. I don't need more money from you and I don't want it."

Master Koon clasped his hands. "Detective, you are splitting hairs. Why are you so resistant to receiving payment?"

"Because last night I shot a friend to death and I don't want to get paid for it!" I snapped.

Master Koon regarded me carefully. "He was a Sith," he said, not unkindly. "You had no other option."

"I didn't want to and he didn't deserve it. Maybe if I were kinder or stronger, there would have been another option. Maybe I could have saved him."

"Do you think it's possible? To save a Sith?"

"Don't call him that. I don't know anything about the Sith. Factually, I know Maul was a Sith Apprentice at some point, and he was cruel and committed violence against innocents, but when I met him, he was just a person. He was hungry and homeless and in a lot of pain because someone had hurt him his entire life. He didn't know any other way to be. He didn't deserve that. Nobody does." I grimaced. "I don't know if I could have saved him. He wanted someone to be kind to him and to make him not feel so alone. I did what I could. It wasn't enough."

"You did your best."

"I did. I liked him, and I tried to help him," I said. "In the end, I killed him. I don't regret it--I had to, to save myself and Skywalker and Ahsoka and Rex, but that doesn't mean I can't still feel bad about it. I'm not that cold-hearted."

"Detective, I don't believe you have ever been cold-hearted. It's clear from even our brief acquaintance that you have an abundance of kindness. There is a great strength in that," Master Koon said. "It is not easy to hold on to that when you have been cruelly treated."

"Sure it is," I said. "All it takes is learning to break your own heart."

I hadn't wanted to learn Maul was the culprit I'd been chasing. I hadn't wanted to kill him. I cared as much as anyone ever could, but maybe it didn't matter--it hadn't stayed my hand. In the name of duty and protecting innocent lives, I had gunned him down like anyone else. Maybe I was just a hypocrite. Given the alternatives, I could live with that.

"I'm sorry," Master Koon said. There was something weighty in that apology--more than I could ever parse. "Despite everything, you cared deeply for Maul."

"I did. I won't be rewarded for killing him."

Master Koon bowed his head. "I understand."

Maybe he did. He'd seen me when the Force had taken me last night--who knew what I'd laid bare that convinced him to protect Maul's body in my stead.

"If you won't accept financial compensation, then how can we show you our gratitude?" Master Koon asked.

"Usually, saying 'thank you' is a good start."

"You are, of course, correct." Even with the mask, I got the impression Master Koon was smiling, or his species-equivalent. "Thank you, Detective Kenobi. For helping us recover Knight Skywalker and protecting him, as well as Padawan Tano and Captain Rex. You have saved the Order an incredible amount of strife and we are endlessly grateful."

I nodded. "I'm glad to have helped."

Master Koon clasped his hands in front of him. "I must ask again: Is there anything we can do for you, Detective? Not just for this incident, but for the time since you left the Temple?"

I sighed. Say what you will about Jedi Masters, but they're stubborn as all hell. "None of you owe me anything for how I left. That's in the past and I'm happy to leave it there. But if you'll keep hounding me over this case, I will accept seven hundred credits," I said. "That's enough to cover my expenses and replace my coat, and then you can stop bothering me about it."

Master Koon nodded. "Seven hundred credits, then. I will have them transferred to you promptly."

"Thank you."

I watched as Master Koon sent off a message on his commlink. He seemed like an all right sort. Ahsoka obviously loved him dearly, and from what I could tell, he earned it. I wondered what it would be like, to be a Jedi Master out in this war, struggling to keep their compassion and kindness amidst the death and violence. Maybe I didn't have to wonder so much--I'd been in a war myself and had the same struggle to balance my heart with my duties. I had chosen hypocrisy over killing my heart or letting innocents get hurt, but maybe the Jedi had a better way in their serenity and guidance from the Force. Or maybe they were just like me, trying to manage in a cold and dark galaxy without losing themselves.

"Is there something I can help you with, Detective?" Master Koon asked.

"No," I said. "I was just thinking, that's all."

"About what, if I may ask?"

"The war, and the Jedi in it," I said. "My war cost me my faith and more than I could ever articulate, and the Republic's war is much bigger than Melida/Daan ever was. I don't know how you can function without breaking yourself down first." I pursed my lips.

Master Koon hummed thoughtfully. "You would know better than any of us, Detective Kenobi."

"We're not talking business anymore. You can call me Obi-Wan," I said. "I wouldn't say my experience directly applies. You still have the Force and each other, and your enemies are mostly droids. It's easier to justify things to yourself when your enemies don't bleed. Maybe that's enough to keep what's happened to me from happening to all of you."

"A war is a war," Master Koon replied. "But then, you already know that."

"I do. I'm scared, that's all. Scared for the Republic and for the Jedi--this business with Jango's clone army and the battle droids and the Sith is rotten all the way through. Something's been building for a long time, and something's got to give. Whatever is happening, I'm scared there's too much momentum now to keep us from hurtling over a cliff's edge. With Sith behind the war, maybe that's the point."

Master Koon looked down at his clasped hands. "I confess my fears are similar. As an Order we have long been clear-sighted. It has only been these recent years that we have found ourselves so blind. Perhaps you are correct--the Sith may be at work here, or Darkness in the galaxy because of this war. It has been a long time since we have clearly heard the will of the Force, even in the High Council."

"The will of the Force isn't everything." Then, remembering who I was talking to, I said, "Sorry. That was disrespectful. It's been a long time since I've spoken with Jedi."

"It is okay, Obi-Wan," Master Koon said. "It is not as if even those in the High Council have not lost their faith at times."

"Believe me, my faith isn't coming back. That's not what I meant to say. I meant that the Force might have its own agenda, but all of its agents are people. You don't need to hear the Force to have faith in it--there are millions or billions of people across the galaxy who do it every day. You can't afford to let blindness paralyze you, especially now. You have to act and make your own choices, and I guess in some ways, that's faith, too." I sighed. "Take that however you want. You don't need a heretic's advice to deal with your faith."

Master Koon was silent for a long moment as he regarded me. "I believe I see why little 'Soka thinks so well of you."

"She told you about me?"

"She didn't have time to say much yesterday, but I saw she braided your hair," Master Koon said. "She doesn't do that with just anyone; she's clearly fond of you. I am glad that in a darkening galaxy, she has a steadfast friend like you at her side."

"Even if I'm not a Jedi?"

"Even then."

I felt some sense of expectation from Master Koon, and I clasped my hands, feeling like I was sitting for an exam I hadn't studied for. "I'm honored to know her. She's a very driven young Padawan and her heart is in the right place. She'll do great things one day." I frowned. "Master Koon, why didn't you take her as your Padawan? You clearly care about her the way a Master should."

"Dangers of attachment," Master Koon said, "and as a member of the High Council and therefore as a High General, I would be in much more dangerous situations than even Knight Skywalker. I wouldn't inflict that on little 'Soka."

It was as reasonable an answer as anyone could give, and an answer I couldn't really argue against, under the circumstances. From what I'd seen of the war, members of the High Council put their lives on the line just as much as--or more often than--every other Jedi. They weren't really in a position to take on Padawans now, especially not when they may have to choose between their Padawans and hundreds of civilian lives--a choice that would not be fair to either of them. Caught between the war and the Senate and the machinations of the Sith, harm reduction was about all the Order could manage now. I hated that, about as much as I ever hated anything anymore.

"She shouldn't be anywhere in a war zone to begin with."

"She should not," Master Koon agreed. "But we do not get to choose the circumstances of our upbringing, nor the duties we are shouldered with."

Perhaps that was true. Already, the war was taking its toll across the galaxy in blood, blood that the Jedi could save from being spilled. The Jedi were doing so much, much more than they were ever prepared or trained for, with nearly every Knight and Master already out contributing to the war front, and Padawans went where their Masters went. Deploying Padawans felt like a foregone conclusion. It didn't have to be. It shouldn't be, but there weren't a lot of alternatives as long as the war continued.

It made me bitter. I remembered long nights lying scared in trenches and blasted-out buildings and thinking the Republic was better. I remembered thinking the Jedi would never let this happen, because the Jedi were peacekeepers, not warriors. I remembered being a youngling, being a strand of that only hope for the future, and hating the burden that had been forced upon me, to take on and fix the mistakes of the ones who had promised to care for me.

I wondered, not for the first time, about the price of innocence, and what could be bought with it. With the Sith sitting high on both sides above all the violence and pain, I wondered if they had penned that innocence in our ledgers from the start.

"I don't want a war that's fought by younglings and clones who are raised to die. There's already so much suffering in the galaxy--we shouldn't have to chain them and their fates to it. They deserve better than that," I said.

"They do, but unfortunately we do not live in a galaxy where all receive what they deserve."

"I know," I said. "I hate it. I really do. I wish the Jedi weren't in a place where they have to measure their ideals against the lives of others. I wish the Republic army could have the full lives they deserve, not just the one they're grown for. I'm trying to hold out hope, but it's hard when there's so much evil out there and there's hardly anything I can do to change it."

"The Force willing, we may defeat the Sith and stop the war before more lives are lost," Master Koon said. "Your contribution to that should not be overlooked."

"It doesn't feel like enough," I said. "It never does."

"And yet you try anyways." Master Koon tilted his head to one side. "It matters that you care, Obi-Wan. Your kindness and effort is felt in every person you meet. That is nothing to be ashamed of. No one one can change an entire galaxy on their own."

"I know. It's just hard, sometimes."

A small considering noise passed Master Koon's filter. "You are a credit to your teachings, Obi-Wan. In the time since you left the Order, you have found your strength and your place in the Galaxy--many Jedi cannot say the same. I truly believe, had you stayed with the Order, you would have become one of our very best."

I didn't know what to do with that. It was one thing to hear it from Ahsoka, who was young and in desperate need of a friend, but it was another thing entirely to hear it from a Master of the High Council. I didn't really want to know if I could have been a Jedi. It didn't make me feel better to know I would have had another, probably better life if I hadn't walked away.

"There's hardly a point in wondering about it. It didn't happen."

Master Koon inclined his head. "No. It did not."

It took about three hours after that to finish up all my affairs in the Temple. Most of it was compiling information for Bail, while the rest was figuring out the logistics to take Maul to Dathomir. It had been easy enough to promise such a thing to a dying man, but not so simple to take a trip to the Outer Rim at the drop of a hat, and it had been years since I last had to prepare for such a long journey. If Master Windu had not stepped in and offered to assist my travel arrangements, I would have been in for an especially difficult time, considering I had no personal ship and most people frowned upon transporting corpses.

I didn't know why Master Windu had offered, honestly. I hadn't thought he'd want anything to do with me after my less than polite manner in the Council Chamber, but he had approached me on his own when I was checking the Temple Archives. He said a lot of things, including that he was a friend of Master Jinn's and that he was personally very sorry about what had happened to me. I didn't need his apologies, but I let him say them--they were more for him than for me anyways. Maybe he felt more culpable as Master Jinn's friend and a member of the High Council, though there was hardly anything he could have done, and I told him so. I don't think that helped much. That kind of guilt didn't go away so easily.

It was nearly 1600 and I sat on a crate in the Temple's hangar beside the cargo ship I'd be hitching a ride with, waiting for the last of the supplies to get loaded and the maintenance checks to finish up. With nothing better to do than wait, I found myself staring up at the pale and cloudless blue sky. It was the strangest thing to see the Coruscant sky without smog. I'd never noticed that about the Temple before, that even its sky was different from how it was anywhere else on the planet. It was a beautiful color--I wished I could see it more often. I wondered what kind of chemical scrubbers they needed to accomplish that.

"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!"

I brought my gaze down to see Rex and Ahsoka leaning against him, approaching at a clumsy speed-walk.

"Ahsoka," I said. "Are you supposed to be out of the Halls of Healing already?"

"Why didn't you tell us you were going? I had to hear from Barriss you were leaving!" Ahsoka shouted.

I blinked. Barriss was the Padawan who was traveling with her Master on this supply run, so that part made sense, but the rest didn't. Skywalker had been rescued, and I'd made my report and received payment. My case was emphatically over, so naturally I would leave. The only reason I hadn't left already was because going to Dathomir was a little more difficult than returning to my apartment. I told her as much.

Ahsoka frowned. "You weren't even going to say goodbye?"

"I...generally don't," I said. "Even if I wanted to, I had no idea you were awake."

"Well, I am awake," Ahsoka said. "And you should say goodbye before you go. That's what friends do."

"Is it?" Most of the goodbyes I'd ever made were with the intention of never seeing the other person again. It didn't seem very friendly.

Ahsoka nodded seriously. "You're supposed to say goodbye, and then I can say 'may the Force be with you', and then we hug. That's the rule whenever someone goes off-planet."

That had definitely not been a thing when I was a Padawan, but then, I hadn't grown up during an active war. "I see. Well, who am I to go against the rules? Goodbye, Ahsoka."

She threw her arms around me and squeezed tightly. "May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan. Thanks for helping us find Skyguy and everything."

I hugged her back. "I'm glad I could help."

"Thanks for being there and talking to me and buying dinner and teaching me and stuff, too. I really liked spending time with you." Ahsoka buried her face in my shoulder and said, "You're not allowed to disappear, okay? You're like the weird uncle I never knew, and I want to hang out with you more."

"I'm a weird uncle?" I asked. "I can't even be a cool uncle?"

"Well, you are weird, Obi-Wan. You've got all your weird Force stuff and you're smart and sometimes you're kind of scary with the things you know that you're not supposed to know."

"You're giving me some mixed signals here, Ahsoka."

Ahsoka squeezed me. "You're weird, but I like that. I like you. I'm going to really miss you."

She reached out to me in the Force, and her presence pressed against mine with happiness and warmth that nearly took my breath away. I patted her on the back. "I'll miss you, too. My trip shouldn't take more than a month altogether. You'll see me again soon enough, Ahsoka."

She pulled back from me, still holding my shoulders. "A month is a long time! How are you even going to get to the Outer Rim? Isn't that dangerous?"

"I'm going with Master Unduli to the Mid-Rim, and after that I'll go with Master Vos to Dathomir. He's got some Jedi business there, apparently, though I can't imagine what." The Jedi escort was unnecessary, but since the alternative was traveling out for so long on my own, I hadn't argued. I suspected Master Windu and some other members of the High Council were scared that if they let me out of their sight, I'd end up getting myself killed for real. That would be embarrassing, especially so soon after my return to the Temple. "You don't need to worry. I'm in good hands and I know how to take care of myself."

Ahsoka made a face. "Master Vos is good hands?"

"Well, capable hands, anyways," I allowed. "Quinlan and I were friends when I was still at the Temple. The second leg of my trip will either be very interesting or very awkward. Possibly both."

"Yeah, but you'll be on a ship with him. Alone," Ahsoka said. Maybe Quinlan was more of a disaster than I remembered, or she just didn't like him.

"Ahsoka, I'll be fine. I haven't survived this long just to be defeated by a tenday around Quinlan Vos. The worst that will happen is he makes fun of me for growing a beard," I said. "What about you? Will you be okay?"

"Um, I think so," Ahsoka said. "I don't...know what'll happen with Skyguy. He still hasn't woken up, and the Healers don't think it'll be safe for me to be around him for a while even when he does. But I've still got my Padawan courses to take care of, so..." She shrugged. "I guess I'll have plenty to do while I wait."

"Those studies are important, dear Padawan," I said. "They'll help you on your way to becoming a Knight."

Ahsoka pouted at me. "But it's boring."

I laughed. "Well, some things in life are boring, dear Padawan. Do your best, okay?" I looked at her, so young and earnest despite what she'd been through, then let my smile fall. I set a hand on her shoulder. "Ahsoka. If you ever need help, you have my comm code. I'll do my best to get back to you as soon as possible. And if...if something falls through, and you find that the Jedi lifestyle is not for you, I can help you. Whatever path you choose, you're not alone."

Ahsoka nodded gravely. "I know. Is it...okay if I comm you while you're off-planet?"

"Of course. I daresay with how my next few weeks are shaping up, it'll be good to see a familiar face from time to time. I'd love to hear how you're doing," I said. "Thank you, Ahsoka. Rex. I won't say I enjoyed the past three days, but it would have been much worse without you. Your ingenuity and dedication was indispensable in tracking down Skywalker."

If Ahsoka could blush, she probably would have. "We just did what you taught us."

"And you did it very well. Words can't describe how proud I am of both of you, and how grateful I am for your help and your company."

Rex nodded sharply. "You too, Obi-Wan."

Just then, one of the Republic soldiers on the ship called my name. "The last of the cargo's loaded and final checks are complete. We're ready to take off," he said. "You'll want to get on the ship, sir."

"I'll be right up!" I shouted back. To Rex and Ahsoka, I said, "That's my cue to go."

I got off of my crate and hugged them both.

"May the Force be with you," Ahsoka said.

"Stay safe," Rex said.

"I'll see you again. Until then, take care." I pulled away from them, picked up my things, then made my way up the spaceship ramp.

I had a promise to fulfill.