Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Lan Wangji dreams of falling.

Watching Wei Ying choose to fall from a cliff at Nightless City had put the seed into his mind, his heart, and sometimes he would idly wonder what it was like. A sensation not of weightlessness but ultimate weight, pulling him toward an unforgiving ground. But in those moments before, would it have been freedom? Would Wei Ying have felt like he could finally let go of all the things he carried around on his narrow shoulders?

The questions are what drives these dreams. He never actually touches the ground, never actually comes to a conclusion. He always wakes unsatisfied, unrelieved, uncertain.

Lan Wangji dreams of falling.

This time, he does not wake. Terror lodges in his throat, tearing from him a scream that carries all the pain and sorrow and heartache he has felt through his life. He can feel death stare right at him, judging him with impenetrable patience.

He prepares himself for impact and thinks, no, I am not done. This is not how it ends.

The impact is not what he imagines. His body does not shatter like a mirror into a hundred thousand ragged pieces. He does not splash like overripe fruit dropped from a basket. The impact is softened by arms curling around him, holding tight. He's been caught.

This is what he could not imagine before.

"You really should be more careful, or you might hurt yourself," says a beautiful, achingly familiar voice.

Lan Wangji smiles. "Wei Ying."

+

Lan Wangji wakes to the shriek of a child's laughter, quickly banished by several adult voices trying to shush her. A-Yue is a very well-mannered child and immediately quiets down, but then her curiosity is peaked. "Why is he sleeping? Did someone hurt him?"

"A little bit, but he's going to be just fine. It's because you were so brave and hid so well, you really did very good. He's going to be so proud of you when he wakes up." That's Wei Ying's voice, his real voice, not some magical approximation sent through a toy talisman. Lan Wangji's heartbeat picks up. He's sure that everyone can hear the near painful thump of it. He tries to open his eyes, but the world is far too bright. He can feel the hand on his, softly stroking the skin of his wrist.

"I can tell them all to go away if you want," Wei Ying whispers, so close that Lan Wangji wants to reach out and pull him all the way in. He wants nothing more than for the light to fade into comforting darkness and the two of them to lie together, sharing space and breath and stories. It's obviously not going to happen. He can hear his brother and Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng banter in the background, and A-Yue is babbling to herself. So many people who need to know he's okay. And he is, he can feel his strength returning with every breath. His core has not been damaged from depletion or any of the horrible things that may have happened after he passed out.

"What happened?" He tries to ask but the words sound hoarse to his own ears, like an unoiled wagon wheel screeching in the dust of a summer road.

Wei Ying's hand tightens on his. "You insisted on being a hero and fell over like a sack of beans. It was very funny." His voice breaks a little over the last few words and Lan Wangji understands that this is a terrible attempt at a joke. No one was laughing about this, and won't be for a very long time.

"You're not the only one who can faint prettily," Lan Wangji says, fighting the cough that threatens to ruin his nonchalant facade. He's glancing at Wei Ying through narrowed eyes, trying to keep the painful sunlight at bay. He looks tired and so very beautiful. A-Yue is squirming in his hold on his lap, trying to get free as any toddler worth her salt.

Wei Ying snorts. "Don't make this a competition. Besides, I will always win. I'm a master at falling into your arms." Lan Wangji can't be sure, but it looks like Wei Ying is blushing. He's always been so shameless, and yet, when it comes to his heart, it seems there are things he is afraid to speak out loud. Lan Wangji turns his hand and laces their fingers together, squeezing them a little.

"I will always catch Wei Ying." Spoken aloud, the words have a different power than inside his heart and Lan Wangji can feel his ears heat.

"Hey," Jiang Cheng pipes up, "please don't make the rest of us watch this." Nie Huaisang snorts a laugh that he quickly hides behind his fan and... Lan Wangji's brother smacks Jiang Cheng's head, like he hasn't been in seclusion for a broken heart only yesterday. Wei Ying sighs dramatically and turns to yell at his brother.

"You can all get out if you're not going to behave."

Jiang Cheng sighs. "And who made you king of the castle, huh?"

Wei Ying looks pointedly at Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng groans, covering his eyes dramatically. "I don't need to know anything about that."

Lan Xichen laughs and the sound makes something grow inside Lan Wangji's chest. His brother is laughing . They must speak, at some point when they can be alone, and share what has happened to bring Lan Xichen out of his seclusion. He still looks haunted, like he hasn't slept in weeks, but his smile is genuine. Lan Wangji is suddenly, irrepressibly happy. Wei Ying is here. His brother has come out of his seclusion.

"What happened to Zhang, Shuang and their men?" He's not feeling charitable enough to use any titles for the men who dared to attack his home. His people.

Wei Ying grows cold for a second, a vicious look contorting his beautiful features. "They're dead. Well, most of them. I killed Zhang and you skewered the hell out of Shuang before you fainted like a maiden." Wei Ying looks back to the other three cultivators in the room. "Most of their men died outside, the few we have in custody seem to be simple mercenaries."

"They will be questioned," Lan Xichen promises, his gentle voice belied by the steel in his gaze. "And they will be punished."

Nie Huaisang, who has been watching them all with idle curiosity, opens his mouth to speak but seems to think better of it. He looks at Lan Wangji like he wants to convey a message that is best shared under four eyes. Lan Wangji blinks and finds himself understood. They, too, will talk later.

For now, he truly wishes only for one thing. "I am tired," he says, looking at his brother for support. Just get them all out of here for a while. "I wish to rest."

Lan Xichen is a very good brother who gets the hint and picks up A-Yue, herding the other two men out of the room. Wei Ying also attempts to leave, but Lan Wangji does not let go of his hand. "Not you."

Wei Ying looks startled, like he hasn't yet understood what Lan Wangji thought was a shared secret between them. As much as they have not been able to say the words out loud, Lan Wangji thought they were understood. He can't meet Wei Ying's eyes when he speaks, afraid to see rejection there, or pity.

"I would like you to stay," Lan Wangji says. He doesn't just mean here and now, but that's a different conversation.

Wei Ying looks at their hands, locked together. "I, uh," he starts, and that's something Lan Wangji thought he'd never see: Wei Ying is lost for words. "Lan Zhan! You can't just... ahh!" And he buries his face in his hands, without letting go of Lan Wangji's fingers. Lan Wangji can feel the heat of his cheek under his thumb.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji says softly. He doesn't wish to cause any distress to this man, this man that he loves above and beyond anything else in the world. "Lie with me."

Wei Ying raises his head and meets his gaze. Wei Ying looks startled, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. "Uh."

Lan Wangji has never wanted to roll his own eye more in his life . "To sleep."

He's unsure how he feels about the visible relief on Wei Ying's face. "Ah, yes, of course. I just. It's not that I don't... oh fuck, why is this so hard?"

There's a joke to be made here but Lan Wangji is not shameless enough to try. "Wei Ying," he says, tugging at their intertwined hands. "Let's rest."

"Yes, yes, of course!" Wei Ying is all elbows and awkward lines as he tries to settle on the bed without touching Lan Wangji. It's frankly a little ridiculous. He pulls Wei Ying close and let's go of his hand to settle his arm around his waist, pulling him to his side. Wei Ying's face is so close now, Lan Wangji can count his eyelashes. He's so close, close enough to kiss.

The thought won't let him rest. Wei Ying fidgets after a while. "You're not sleeping."

"Neither are you."

Wei Ying laughs. "I'm not the one who needs to recover from draining his golden core to the very last drop." Wei Ying raises the hand recently freed from Lan Wangji's grasp and softly touches the skin of his face. His fingers trail down his cheek. "I was so worried for you."

"Hm," Lan Wangji says, like it's an answer all its own. At the time, he hadn't even thought about it. If he died to save Wei Ying, that would have been an easy price to pay. "You were in danger."

Wei Ying's hand stilled. "Yeah, well, I would have been very unhappy to find you again just for you to die in my arms. I don't... I don't want to live in this world without you, my Lan Zhan." The endearment has passed Wei Ying's lips before, though never in person. The intimacy of it sets Lan Wangji's heart to racing.

"I feel the same," Lan Wangji says, dragging the words from the depths of his soul. "I don't think I could bear to lose you again."

Wei Ying presses their foreheads together. They're breathing the same air and Lan Wangji can feel the tension between them, an energy that has nothing to do with golden cores or spirits, just the potential between two people. It crackles and pops like the air before a thunderstorm.

"Lan Zhan, don't say such things, or I can not promise to be able to control myself."

Lan Wangji wishes he wouldn't. But something still stops him from saying this out loud. He's not afraid, but there is still a seed of uncertainty in him. He doesn't want Wei Ying to want him out of gratitude or pity or perceived obligation. He wants Wei Ying to be utterly, joyfully his.

"Wei Ying," he says and tries to borrow some of the other man's courage. "If you will have me, I would be with you for the rest of my life. Wherever that takes us, in whichever way, I would be happy."

Wei Ying gasps, drawing air through his teeth. "Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan!" He doesn't say anything else, simply leans forward and presses his lips to Lan Wangji's. The kiss is both messy and chaste at the same time. It's Lan Wangji's first and he has no idea what he's doing. Wei Ying is unsurprisingly enthusiastic about it and begins to pepper Lan Wangji's face with small kisses.

"I want to stay," Wei Ying says, between kisses to Lan Wangji's cheek and nose and forehead. "If you're here, that's where I want to be. And if we leave, we leave together." He hesitates, leans back a little to look at Lan Wangji. "Is that alright with you? I wouldn't want to presume."

Lan Wangji stares at him, at this stupid, beautiful man. "My duties here are important," he says, "but you are more so. Cloud Recesses can be your home, if you wish, but you mustn't feel like you can't leave. I will follow you wherever your road takes you. My Wei Ying." He's not, absolutely not, about to tear up.

Wei Ying has no such qualms, his eyes are suspiciously misty. "Ah, my Lan Zhan," and that's the last thing he says for a while because he leans down and kisses Lan Wangji in earnest.

The kiss grows sloppy and heated within moments. Lan Wangji's hands somehow have a life of their own, because surely it wasn't him who directed them to bury in Wei Ying's hair or grab his ass. There is no shame in it, but the awareness does let a blossom of heat spread across the skin of his neck and chest. Lan Wangji has read about these things, in a book he pretended to abhor, painstakingly put back together after Wei Ying had left the library that day. He knows of the things men do with each other.

Yet, he has no idea what he's doing, though it seems that Wei Ying has plenty. Between them, though, their knowledge is woefully theoretical. Lan Wangji turns them over, spreading Wei Ying out beneath him on the bed. He's a little startled, which does not detract from his beauty. Lan Wangji has never seen a more alluring sight. He leans down to capture Wei Ying's bottom lip between his teeth.

"What do you want me to do?" Lan Wangji asks, feeling the blush travel from his ears all the way to his navel. He can be decisive, but that doesn't mean he's not a little embarrassed. So many years he's imagined this, often with an accompanying ache, and now that he's here, he has no idea where to start. He wants it all.

Wei Ying sighs and laughs and pulls him close again. They're kissing like teenagers, having run away to do a forbidden thing. They're kissing like lovers reunited after long journeys. Wei Ying tastes faintly of spice, as if his eating habits have soaked into his skin. Lan Wangji licks Wei Ying's lips, pushes inside his mouth and finds a thorough welcome there. Like he belongs.

Desire curls lazily in Lan Wangji's stomach and he wonders if he should say something. For him, relief has always been cursory and he doesn't quite know how to ask for what he wants. Wei Ying's hands on his bare skin, Wei Ying's mouth on his, Wei Ying everywhere around him. Fire settles at the base of his spine and Lan Wangji is suddenly far too hot in his robes. He tries to sit up to get a better angle on getting naked, but Wei Ying won't let him go long enough to so much as tear off his outer robes.

"Wei Ying," he scolds, smiling despite his frustration. "Let me-"

Wei Ying catches on, his eyes going wide, his smile growing wider. "Oh, oh no. Let me ."

He pushes Lan Wangji on his back, reversing their positions, and spreads his hands over Lan Wangji's chest. He unties Lan Wangji's belt with a wicked smile. "Have you thought about this? When I was gone, have you thought of doing this with me?"

Lan Wangji averts his eyes, too overcome with the way Wei Ying looks at him, like he is a meal to be devoured. It takes his breath away.

There is a soft but insistent knock. "Brother?"

Wei Ying groans and drops his head on Lan Wangji's chest. "Can we tell him to go away?" Lan Wangji has never heard him quite so plaintive before. He smiles and lets his fingers run through Wei Ying's disheveled hair. He imagines they both look like exactly what they've been doing. He wants to say yes, to stay with Wei Ying in this cocoon of safety and warmth and unexplored potential.

"It might be important," Lan Wangji whispers, but he's willing to be convinced otherwise.

Wei Ying looks up at him, chin resting on Lan Wangji's chest. The paper man has settled itself right there so often, Lan Wangji can no longer think of the space as solely his own - it belongs to Wei Ying in everything but name. "It's probably important. Lan Xichen wouldn't disturb you without a good reason." Wei Ying sighs theatrically, but the blush on his cheeks is real. "It's just that this is so very nice and what if it's my only chance? What if you realize it was all just a fluke because you were injured and after you think about it, you no longer want this?"

Lan Wangji smiles. He pushes his fingers through Wei Ying's hair, trying to untangle the knots he caused. Wei Ying turns his head to press his cheek to Lan Wangji's palm. With his eyes closed, he looks very young, almost as young as they were when he died. "We have all the time in the world," Lan Wangji says. "Every day for the rest of our lives."

Wei Ying doesn't meet his eyes, but his ears are on fire. Lan Wangji flicks one ear carefully with his thumb. Then he pushes Wei Ying off and sits up. Wei Ying looks thoroughly debauched, even though they haven't even gotten naked. Yet.

Lan Wangji puts his belt back on, but there is not disguising the state of his robes. "Come in, Brother."

+

Wei Wuxian is going to die. This is how he dies. He's going to fall over and expire from sexual frustration. Ten minutes ago he didn't even know that was an option and now his whole world is the taste of Lan Zhan on his lips. He wants to wrap himself around this man and never let go. He's just going to live his life attached to Lan Zhan like a little monkey. He's suddenly intensely jealous of the paper man talisman, because at least it got to stay underneath Lan Zhan's robes all the time, lucky bastard.

Lan Xichen is pointedly not looking at them. Whatever is on the wall behind them must be very interesting indeed. "Clan leader Yao has been making trouble, forcing the conference to go ahead. Perhaps if you are well enough, you could..." He trails off, not quite able to finish his sentence. Clearly, Lan Zhan is well enough for some things. That doesn't mean he's in any state to preside over a bunch of squabbling clan leaders. They're worse than herding goats.

Lan Zhan nods decisively. "I will be there. Let them know not to begin without me."

Lan Xichen is wringing his hands. "Good, that's good. Brother, uh, please... please make sure you both look decent." The blush high on Lan Xichen's cheeks is honestly adorable. How did either of the Jades of Lan survive to adulthood with skin this obviously telling? And how has no one ever realized this? Frosty elegance? Pff. Somehow no one has ever actually managed to make them feel this level of embarrassment before and that's clearly an indictment of the whole cultivation world.

Lan Zhan coughs. Wei Wuxian is really, really tempted to rub his back but that probably wouldn't help with the mortification stuck in Lan Zhan's throat. Wei Wuxian looks at Lan Xichen sheepishly. "We'll be right there."

Lan Xichen leaves so quickly, he almost stumbles over his own feet. Lan Zhan sighs. "Duty calls." There's a reluctance in Lan Zhan that is almost wary, like he's afraid that Wei Wuxian is going to run off because he won't drop everything immediately to make love to him. Not that Wei Wuxian wouldn't enjoy that, but-

He takes Lan Zhan's hand. "You know it's okay to still live your life, right? I said I'm not going anywhere, and I meant it. I'm here." He wants to kiss Lan Zhan and realizes in the same instance that he can. He is allowed now. Grinning, Wei Wuxian brings their joined hands to his lips and presses small kisses to Lan Zhan's knuckles.

Lan Zhan leans into him. Wei Wuxian takes a deep, steadying breath. That's new. For so long, Lan Zhan's been the one carrying the heavy burdens, taking care of him, even physically carrying him, always there to catch him when he fell. Wei Wuxian pulls him into an embrace and tucks Lan Zhan's head under his chin.

"Don't want to be Hanguang Jun today," Lan Zhan whispers. "Promise you'll come with me?"

Wei Wuxian has heard this tone before, when Lan Zhan got drunk and told him about his regrets. It's the voice of the boy underneath all the trappings of the man. It's painfully adorable and makes Wei Wuxian want to grant his every desire. He will do everything in his power to make sure that from this point forward, there are no more regrets.

"Of course I'll come," he promises, already thinking how much hilarity this is going to cause. The cultivation world may have forgiven him for the atrocities he never committed, but Wei Wuxian has had a lot of practice annoying the shit out of the clan leaders just using his own force of personality.

They get ready quickly, straightening their robes without looking at each other, to avoid a repeat performance. Wei Wuxian can feel the potential in the air, the need they have for each other. He bounces a little on the balls of his feet and concentrates on keeping his hands to himself. Lan Zhan holds out his intricate hair piece and settles on his knees. "Will you help me with my hair?" Lan Zhan's voice is thick as molasses and Wei Wuxian curses inwardly as he takes the heavy piece of metal. He wants nothing more than to run his fingers through Lan Zhan's thick strands, maybe pull at them gently until Lan Zhan leans back to expose his mouth and neck. The things he wants to do to him.

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan says. "Later."

That's a promise.

Somehow they manage to make themselves presentable, Wei Wuxian's efforts notwithstanding. Outside in the yard, Ouyang Zizhen and Lan Jingyi are playing with A-Yue and Fei, Little Apple looking on regally. Clearly, the donkey is the adult in this situation, and Wei Wuxian is terribly glad to see her safe.

"You found them!"

Lan Jingyi grins up at him. "Of course we did. Little Apple has a voice on her. She's hard to miss."

Wei Wuxian hurries down the steps to check on his companions. Neither Little Apple nor Fei look particularly worse for wear, Fei with its legs in the air and nipping at a piece of grass A-Yue holds just out of reach. He reaches down to scratch Fei's belly and gets a few happy licks on the back of his hand. Lan Zhan touches his shoulder and when Wei Wuxian looks up, the smile that greets him makes his stomach surge as if he's falling from a great height, right into this man's perfect arms. He's stunned. He's slain. He's forever enthralled. Nothing can compare to this.

Little Apple huffs her displeasure at being very obviously ignored. Wei Wuxian gets up to pat her on the nose and look, what's that in his hand? Is it a delicious apple?

"Lan Jingyi," Lan Zhan says, "if you and Ouyang Zizhen could watch A-Yue and the animals for a little while longer, Wei Ying and I have been called to the conference."

Startled, Lan Jingyi nods with far more enthusiasm than the request deserves. The juniors have basically been designated babysitters while everyone else is dissecting the events of the night before. But they look happy enough not to be in that stuffy room for hours, having to pretend to be respectable. Wei Wuxian is going to try very hard not be an abject failure at it himself. No pranks. Almost definitely no pranks.

He loops his arm with Lan Zhan's. "Let's go."

Lan Zhan is still, somehow, smiling. Wei Wuxian's whole body is getting weak in the knees. "Yes."

+

When clan leader Yao continues to agitate for answers none of them have for a consecutive fourth hour, Lan Wangji begins to entertain Wei Ying's idea of throwing the man off a high cliff to see if he can fly. It's not going to solve any of their real problems, but it would certainly feel good in the moment. The blessed silence would be reason enough.

"How can any of you be satisfied?" Clan leader Yao asks the assembled cultivators. After last night, they all look a bit green, a bit scared. "We don't know anything about this attack! For all we know, the real culprit might still be out there, waiting to pick us off one by one."

Wei Ying, so far disturbingly well-behaved under the circumstances, can no longer contain himself. "No offense, old man, but it sure looked like they didn't care about you last night. The most you would have been if you tried fighting them would have been collateral damage. You must have noticed that they left you behind with only a sad excuse for a guard."

In fact, the men who had remained to keep watch over the neutered cultivators were the only ones left alive by the break of dawn. They'd been thoroughly interrogated and found to be mostly underpaid mercenaries who thought cultivators had too much power and did not have any information about a greater plan. They did, however, solve a small mystery.

"Of course the husband let us in," one of them said, in front of the entire assembly. Of the three survivors, he seemed to be of the highest rank, and the least pleasant to be around. "We promised to pay him enough to buy three more wives that could bear him children. He saw the error of his ways and broke the wards from the inside."

+

Someone would have had to let them in, but the fact that it was A-Yue's father is something that the collected cultivators take in with a gasp of disbelief. Family is too important, important enough to set Zhang and Shuang on a path of destruction. It should be ludicrous, but Wei Wuxian knows more than any of them how heavy family loyalty can weigh on someone's shoulders. With enough incentive, anyone might break. Maybe anyone except for Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan is too good. He doesn't break or falter, and never, ever gives up. But not everyone can be so lucky to have one of those. It suddenly makes sense to Wei Wuxian that a woman might teach her child how to hide from anyone, perhaps even her own father. Things like this only rarely come out of nowhere.

Clan leader Yao huffs and puffs like a fish out of water but has nothing else useful to add. The conference continues with the attempt for a verdict on those mercenaries who have survived until now. It's Ouyang Zizhen who actually has a few ideas about that.

"The remaining lieutenant must be punished, for certain. He is one of the people who raised their swords to kill. But the others' only crime is that they followed a man much bigger than them. Perhaps they can be put to better use."

Wei Wuxian taps his nose. "Ah! Would this have anything to do with your plan to create a militia of those without cultivation? Could they be trusted in such a position?"

Lan Zhan continues to stay silent, as he so often does when he already knows exactly what he wishes to say but has yet to decide the most devastating way to say it. Wei Wuxian loves him so fucking much.

As expected, the suggestion that the mercenaries not just be freed but given a position of authority causes the assembly to erupt in dissent. No one is particularly happy about the idea, but especially not Lan Qiren, who believes in just punishment for unjust actions. "It cannot be allowed!" He's not raising his voice, but his agitation is obvious. He's still as funny as ever when he's worked up. Wei Wuxian grins at him. A vein on Lan Qiren's temple pulsates with the rise and fall of his voice. "And who gave you the right to speak, Wei Wuxian?"

Before Lan Zhan can say something hot and scathing, Jiang Cheng speaks up decisively. "I did," he says, and something hard and bitter in Wei Wuxian's chest finally dissolves. "Wei Wuxian's defection from Yunmeng Jiang two decades ago had been facilitated under false pretenses and as such is no longer accepted. Wei Wuxian is the senior disciple of Yunmeng Jiang and my brother, and he should be treated as such."

After the declaration, there is stunned silence. Wei Wuxian's heart is fluttering against his ribs. He already knew, of course, has the sword to prove it, but to hear it out loud, in front of everyone who is anyone in the cultivation world? It heals him. Lan Zhan's hand touches his, only barely hidden by their robes. It's reassurance and declaration both. He's being claimed. "Wei Wuxian may speak anywhere he wishes," Lan Zhan says, facing down his uncle with the full authority of the Chief Cultivator.

+

The day passes rather more quickly than anyone would like and political questions remain unanswered. The conference will continue the coming day and is already longer than any in recent memory. There are old stories of discussions that go on for months, some that were only solved because main participants died in the interim. Lan Wangji does not wish death on anyone, but he sure wouldn't mind if some of his most ardent detractors would drop dead, entirely by accident.

Nothing has been solved, not even their sleeping arrangements. Lan Xichen offers guest accommodations to Wei Ying, who stares at Lan Wangji like a rabbit caught in the sight of a wolf. He's holding Fei pressed to his chest like a stuffed doll, which makes him several times more adorable. "Uh, I thought... I mean, I assumed I would... you know. Stay with Lan Zhan. If he wants that. Not that I want to presume, I-"

Lan Wangji puts a hand on his mouth. "Wei Ying." They look at each other and Lan Wangji forgets for a moment what he means to say. It is so very easy to get lost in Wei Ying's eyes. They're dark and expressive and incredibly beautiful. He wants to kiss him. For a second he forgets his brother is right there .

He turns to his brother. "Wei Ying will stay with me."

Lan Xichen smiles. It looks too big on his face, like something he has to grow back into. "I thought as much. Though there is another matter. What are we going to do with A-Yue?" Of course, with all her immediate relatives dead, she has nowhere to go, but the Lan clan still has a responsibility of care.

Lan Wangji feels more than responsible for the child, but these are big decisions that can't be made lightly.

"She can sleep with us for tonight, can't she?" Wei Ying's eyes are wide and innocent, like he hasn't just offered something that is bigger than the both of them. Lan Wangji nods, unsure what exactly it is he's agreeing to and what Wei Ying thinks he's agreeing to, which may not be the same thing. His brother rewards him with a soft smile that says everything it needs to say about chosen family and Wei Ying's kind and impulsive nature. Considering that Fei, the dog, is right there, Lan Wangji doesn't exactly need a reminder.

"Of course she can stay here," Lan Wangji says, and doesn't add for now .

"That's great! Poor kid is probably terrified of everything right now, I know I would be." If anyone can imagine how she feels, it's Wei Ying, who was about the same age when he lost his own parents. Lan Wangji puts a hand on his shoulder, unconsciously rubbing the side of his neck with his thumb. Wei Ying leans into the touch and gasps softly, like Lan Wangji's brother isn't still right there .

Lan Xichen coughs to get both their attention and it's admittedly a bit of a struggle. "Good, good. I'll have Lan Jingyi drop her off after dinner." Lan Xichen takes his leave quickly after that and shoots Lan Wangji a knowing grin. "Don't get too carried away!"

Lan Wangji's ears feel hot as he thinks through the implication of that statement and they are both left alone with the suggestion. Wei Ying is looking at the bed behind Lan Wangji and his whole face goes through a journey of understanding. "You know, just because everyone thinks we're doing that, we don't actually have to-"

Lan Wangji kisses him. He presses their mouths together, soft but insistent. Wei Ying has surrendered their nighttime privacy, now they have to make do with the time they have. "No more talking," he says between feather-light kisses. Wei Ying groans and pushes at his shoulder weakly with one hand.

"The, uh..." He's clearly out of breath. "Let me put down the dog."

This is a sensible request that Lan Wangji has every intention of granting, and yet somehow he's still holding on to Wei Ying's face, their forehead's pressed together. "Yes," Lan Wangji says, and doesn't manage to move away. "Wouldn't want to scare the puppy."

Wei Ying pushes him away. He's smiling in a way that makes something inside Lan Wangji melt. Like they have all the time in the world. "Fei needs a little doggy bed. It's used to just sleeping in my outer robes."

Lan Wangji allows himself a soft grin. "We can arrange that."

Laughing, Wei Ying lets his robe drop to the ground and kicks it to the far corner of the room, bending over to put the dog down. Lan Wangji licks his lips. He wants to bite Wei Ying's beautiful skin, mark it up as a symbol of his claim on him. Wei Ying knows exactly what he's doing and Lan Wangji will not stand idly by while such perfect temptation wiggles in front of him. He walks over and puts his hands on Wei Ying's hips, stroking his sides through the remaining cloth. He bends down and kisses Wei Ying's neck, pressing their bodies together from chest to groin.

"Don't tease," he says, his voice sounding rough and needy to his own ears.

Wei Ying pats the dog good night and grins up at Lan Wangji. "I'm not offering anything I'm not willing to give."

Lan Wangji wants to put his mouth all over him. He pulls Wei Ying backward, closer to the bed. He takes care, even now - especially now - not to force his desires on Wei Ying, despite the vivid fantasy of throwing Wei Ying on the bed and tying him up so he can never leave. It's not that he doesn't want Wei Ying to be able to leave, he wants to make him feel so good that he never wants to.

"I just want you," Lan Wangji says, turning to maneuver them both to the bed. They're so close, he can feel the impact when the back of Wei Ying's knees hit the edge. "Whichever way you let me have."

Wei Ying surges forward to claim a kiss and Lan Wangji's brain stops working. They're kissing, hands roaming over each other, and Lan Wangji decides that breathing is overrated. Fire is running up his spine and he feels like the world must have been passing him by all his life, because this is the greatest thing he has ever experienced and it is such a simple touch.

Wei Ying groans. He's urging his hands downward, closer to where pristine white robes hide Lan Wangji's arousal. "You're so beautiful," Wei Ying whispers as he undoes the belt at Lan Wangji's waist. "And you're wearing too many clothes." Wei Ying's assault begins in earnest, pushing against him and sending jolts of pleasure through Lan Wangji's body.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji says. He wants to say something else, maybe how much he wants this, or how much he's missed Wei Ying when he was gone, but all that comes out is a sigh of pleasure shared between their lips like a benediction. Kissing Wei Ying feels like seeing the light of the sun for the first time after a winter storm. It's the heat of a bonfire in the deepest part of the forest. Wei Ying drops down on the bed and crawls backward, pulling Lan Wangji with him.

"I want you," Wei Ying says, setting Lan Wangji's entire world on fire. Wei Ying bites his lip, like he's not sure he's allowed to say that, smirking a little because that's just who he is. Lan Wangji leans down to kiss him hard, taking that thought and making sure it evaporates into nothing but desire. Wei Ying presses himself back further to expose his throat and Lan Wangji trails his fingers down the long, pale line. He follows with small, biting kisses, making Wei Ying squirm under him. Lan Wangji can feel Wei Ying's arousal pressing into his hip and rocks down, groaning with the heat and pressure.

A voice from outside throws a bucket of ice cold water over Lan Wangji's head. "Hanguang Jun? Senior Wei? It's Lan Jingyi, I, uh, is it okay if we come in?"

Wei Ying looks startled for a second and then bursts into clear, bright laughter that makes Lan Wangji fall in love all over again. His heart is still beating with the activities of the moment before and he drops his entire body on Wei Ying, pressing his face into Wei Ying's neck. He groans with a new kind of frustration, like a man having to wait hours in front of a deliciously laden table until the feast can begin. It's torture, but with a promise at the end that makes it all so much easier and so much harder at the same time.

Wei Ying pushes him off and pretends to straighten Lan Wangji's robes. He doesn't seem to care about his own presentation half as much. "Come in, we're decent. Well, mostly decent." He's grinning, looking so happy that Lan Wangji's heart melts in his chest.

+

It's not funny, except for how it really, really is. He and Lan Zhan are acting like horny teenagers and it's glorious and frustrating and so much fun. He can see that Lan Jingyi is trying not to look at their joint hands or Lan Zhan's hastily tied belt, or the fact that Fei has taken ownership of Wei Wuxian's outer robes. Of all the disciples, Wei Wuxian knows this one is the least easily scandalized, but he's still dealing with a lot watching his precious master be debauched like this.

"I was told to return A-Yue to you after dinner, but she is refusing to eat." Lan Jingyi looks vaguely panicked when he talks about his misadventures in babysitting. "She's been moody all afternoon and she keeps asking about her-" he looks at the kid and makes the gesture for cutting throats "-you know."

Lan Zhan nods gravely. He has to be thinking of A-Yuan and the time just after Wei Wuxian died, when the little one had lost all his remaining family, and even though Wei Wuxian would never put himself on the same level as A-Yuan's real family, he'd begun to think of him as his son. Wei Wuxian squeezes his hand.

"You did well, Lan Jingyi. It was good to bring her here." Wei Wuxian slips off the bed to kneel on the floor and reaches for the little girl. To his surprise, she only looks skeptical for a moment and then all but jumps into his arms. Wei Wuxian lets her cry into his shoulder as he rubs her back in small, calming circles. He whispers small white lies to her and vows to make them true. "Everything's going to be okay, baby. I promise you, all will be well."

Looking up, Wei Wuxian meets Lan Zhan's eyes. There's a fierce protectiveness that reflects his own and they are agreed, without trading so much as a word: they'll do what they can to find this sweet child a home, one that can give her happiness and offer training for her emerging powers.

Wei Wuxian doesn't dare to hope that her home could be right here, with them. He and Lan Zhan have only just found each other, it's too much, too soon. But that doesn't mean Wei Wuxian doesn't want it so badly he can taste it.

Lan Zhan puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. "Let's get her to bed."

+

Lan Wangji lies awake long after curfew. He's facing the ceiling, one arm curled protectively around A-Yue, with Wei Ying embracing her on the other side. Wei Ying's fingers are tangled with his, their hands resting on his stomach. It's a closed circle of warmth, soft and unfamiliar. He can't sleep, his mind too busy examining the possibilities of their situation. They haven't had a moment for themselves yet, just stolen breaths between one crisis and the next, and now they're what? Starting a family based on his guilt about A-Yue's parents? Are they even qualified? Does Wei Ying even want to?

"You think very loudly," Wei Ying whispers. When Lan Wangji looks over, he finds Wei Ying with his head propped on his fist and a gentle smile on his face. "If you're going to keep us both awake worrying, you might as well share with the class. I promise, I won't run away. For one, you are holding on to my hand and I can't very well run away without it."

Lan Wangji sighs. "You're impossible."

Wei Ying sobers too quickly, his eyes darting to A-Yue, who is sleeping peacefully. It had been difficult to get her to bed, though not as difficult as he'd feared. Apparently, her mother had already taught her to accept the help of strangers, a grim precaution. Lan Wangji carefully turns to his side so he can look right into Wei Ying's eyes. He releases Wei Ying's hand to touch his cheek. "I am blessed, now that you're here."

Wei Ying covers the hand with his own and leans into the touch. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be, my Lan Zhan."

Lan Wangji is glad for the contact, because it hides the trembling of his hand. Wei Ying reaches out to brush a few stray hairs out of his face and he trails along the line where the headband usually rests. "You let me inside before either of us were ready for it, so long ago. What made you so brave?"

Lan Wangji is glad for the darkness because his ears are burning hot. "You weren't impressed with me."

Wei Ying laughs. "That's it? You fell for the first rude asshole to give you some kind of resistance. Whoa, we're all lucky you didn't meet Wen Chao first then."

Catching Wei Ying's hand, Lan Wangji shoots him a glare. "Wei Ying, that's not funny."

"It's a little funny." Wei Ying lies back to stare at the ceiling. "We were both so young and at least I was really fucking stupid. We could have had this for such a long time."

Lan Wangji sighs. "What you said, you're right."

Wei Ying turns his head to glance at him, a question in his eyes. A-Yue is twisting around but still asleep after an evening of trying to get her to eat something through her tears. Lan Wangji remembers the feeling of waiting for his mother and wishes he could do something, anything, to make it easier.

"What did I say?"

Lan Wangji smiles. "We weren't ready. It would have been a disaster."

Wei Ying shakes his head, laughing. "Yeah, yeah, it would have been, but what a disaster! Just imagine teenage us, sneaking around Cloud Recesses to make out, getting caught and punished all the time. Uncle Qiren would have probably tried to throw me out for corrupting his perfect nephew."

Lan Wangji huffs. "Brother would have saved you. He always pushed me at you."

Wei Ying's eyes widen. "What? That's new and very interesting information. I didn't know your brother had it in him."

"To make friends," Lan Wangji says, but he imagines that his brother must have known, even then. Lan Wangji had never hidden his preferences, had never lied about wanting women in any way. Surely his brother knew. "He wanted me to be happy."

Wei Ying's face softens and the smile on his lips is bittersweet as he lies down on his side, looking across the small child between them. He looks very young all of a sudden, all his missing years in stark relief. His body is actually far older than him, if any part of Mo Xuanyu remains, and it comes out in moments like these.

"I want you to be happy," Wei Ying says. "I want to make you so happy. Sometimes I don't know how and sometimes I'm afraid that I'm fucking it all up."

"You, Wei Ying, you make me happy." He doesn't know the right words to make Wei Ying understand how important he is. "Your presence in my life is all that matters."

Wei Ying groans and closes his eyes. "Oh my god, and here you are, saying such things, and so sincerely. How can a man like me not be afraid when you are so... so much? Lan Zhan! I love you! Have I said that before? I've certainly thought it to myself so much, I honestly have no idea."

Lan Wangji can feel his heart beat, even though it must have stopped for a moment, right then. His Wei Ying. He loves him. It doesn't come as a shock, not after the way they've kissed, but still. Still. He loves him. Lan Wangji needs a moment to process. "You've never said."

Wei Ying chuckles to himself. "Of course not, of course not, and you know why? Because it's scary. It's unbelievably terrifying to stand in front of you and bare my heart for all to see."

Lan Wangji growls, despite his best intentions. "Not for all."

Grinning widely, Wei Ying looks positively ecstatic. "I don't know why I didn't realize before, but you're actually possessive, aren't you? No, not for all. Just you. It's always been just you."

Lan Wangji hides his face behind his arm. Wei Ying brings out all of his emotions, some of them more welcome than others. "I feel the same."

"Huh," Wei Ying says, "you mean, you've never liked anyone else? Sixteen years is a long time. I wouldn't expect-"

"No," Lan Wangji interrupts. He can see what Wei Ying means about the terror of laying himself bare. "I love you. There was never anyone else, because I love you."

"Oh!"

Wei Ying's breathing is kind of funny, like there isn't enough air in the room. Lan Wangji can relate. "Lan Zhan. My Lan Zhan. I would like you to know that it is very rude to say this while we very much can't do anything about it." He reaches for Lan Wangji's hand again, making an insistent gesture. Lan Wangji laces their fingers together.

"Go to sleep," Lan Wangji says, "we will talk tomorrow."

Wei Ying squeezes his hand. "You better believe it."

+

The next day starts as it goes on, with more chaos than anyone might have anticipated. A-Yue is in a terrible mood and Fei has peed all over Wei Wuxian's robes so now he's once again got the dubious honor of wearing Lan Zhan's clothes. On the one hand, they smell fantastic, on the other, everyone including Lan Zhan is distracted by the sight. Lan Zhan can barely keep his hands to himself as they get ready to face the day, only deterred by the continued presence of one tiny toddler and one even tinier dog. A-Yue and Fei get along like a house on fire and every time she gets sad, Wei Wuxian tells her to softly touch the dog's fur, because it is alone, too, and it is going to make it feel better. Works like a charm.

Wei Wuxian tugs at his collar during the conference and can't help but grin up at Lan Zhan, whose ears are very slightly red. "This is highly scandalous, dear Hanguang Jun. Everyone is so distracted by these lovely blue robes, they're not even paying attention to what you're saying."

Lan Zhan looks at him with a fire in his eyes that makes Wei Wuxian want to push him back onto the ground and have his wicked way. He laughs to himself thinking about how those are the only wicked tricks he really needs to be cultivating. The conference meanders around the issue of the remaining mercenaries again when the question of A-Yue comes up. Jiang Cheng, the traitor, clearly has been thinking about the optics of a small child living with two unmarried men.

"What are you going to do with the girl? She's too young to live with the other Lan disciples." He doesn't say that Yunmeng Jiang has several young couples that would be willing to take on another child for the good of the clan. He's not the only clan leader thinking it. Wei Wuxian is definitely thinking it. A-Yue represented a rebirth for both Zhang and Shuang clan, but now that most of her family is gone, everyone wants to get a slice of that opportunity. Wei Wuxian hates every second of this discussion, reducing his little girl to something no more worthy than livestock.

It will occur to him later that he's already thinking of A-Yue as his, his and Lan Zhan's.

Before anyone else can speak, there's a commotion at the doors. A spike of anxiety runs like lightning through the assembled cultivators, most of them gripping their swords tightly, some even jumping up to face the potential danger. There is no attack this time, and Wei Wuxian's heart begins to speed up. Three hooded figures are walking into the chamber, identities concealed from all, though none of them are particularly tall. The one in front walks with a brisk self-assurance that would reveal her to most of the people who've met her, in this life or the one before.

Wen Qing drops her hood and bows before Lan Zhan. "Esteemed Hanguang Jun, I bring a message from Grandmaster Baoshan."

Chaos erupts like a volcano.

+

Thanks to Wei Ying's detailed descriptions of his travels, Lan Wangji recognizes Sanren Ying immediately. She's free of bruises now and carries herself with the dignity of someone who has fought for herself and won, like nothing can touch her now unless she invites it. Next to her stands one of the younger children, a coltish boy no older than nine or ten, with long wavy hair and a scowl to rival Jiang Cheng's. Lan Wangji can't be sure, but if his memory is correct, this is Sanren Bo, one of the children who were particularly enamored with little Fei.

He greets them all with more than due deference, sending another wave of shock and dismay through the conference. From the corner of his eye, he can see Jiang Cheng nearly vibrating with the need to question these newcomers, but especially Wen Qing. The doctor has that same easy smile she wore when she welcomed Lan Wangji into her home at the Burial Mounds so very long ago. Like Wei Ying, death has not been unkind to her.

"Lady Wen," Lan Wangji says, offering her a smile. "To what do we owe the honor of your presence?" If she had expected him to be surprised, she doesn't show it. Her smile only grows wider.

"My master sends her regards and wants you to know that she is willing to offer a helping hand if it is needed. She has long been known to take on children who were orphaned by war or other atrocities and offers to do so again, with the child."

Wei Ying gasps and Lan Wangji can see the conflicted emotions warring on his face. It's the perfect political solution, taking A-Yue out of the game until, if ever, she wishes to rejoin the cultivation world. A good Chief Cultivator would jump at the chance to rid himself of such a problem, but Lan Wangji can only think of the way Wei Ying's eyes lit up when he watched A-Yue play with Fei this morning. They need time to discuss this.

"Such a generous offer is truly well-received, Lady Wen, but I ask that you give us time to consider all possibilities with due care." Lan Wangji can feel Wei Ying's eyes burning on his skin. They need to talk, away from all of these people.

Wen Qing laughs, not unkindly. "Ah, yes, of course. As much as I have been made aware, the offer has no limit to it. You may take all the time you need to decide. Meanwhile, my companions here also have a request."

Sanren Ying steps forward and bows deeply, her arms trembling a little. She looks nervous. "As you may be aware, there are rules governing the realm of Grandmaster Baoshan. Once a person leaves her side, they may never return. My brother and I have chosen to deliver her message to you and we hoped that there would be a place for us in your clan. We're both cultivators, though our powers are small compared to what you may be used to. However, we have learned much in the short time we spent with Grandmaster Baoshan and we would learn more, here, if you will have us."

More whispers carry to Lan Wangji's ears, a storm of outrage from his colleagues, as they see the ranks of Lan clan swell more and more. Lan Wangji could not care less if he tried. These children are asking him for a home and if he ever becomes the kind of man who could hear such a request and consider it only on political merits, it would be time to set this office aside and run away with Wei Ying to become vigilantes. Justice doesn't always come in a convenient package.

He nods at the two children. "You may certainly apply to become members of any clan you wish. My brother, Lan Xichen, is the leader of Lan clan and will consider your request, unless one of these men here makes you a better offer. Until then, you can stay as guests of the Lan clan."

His words are diplomatic enough, but in his heart he knows that these two children aren't here to become members of the Lan clan, they came for Wei Ying. It's to be expected. Lan Wangji can only imagine what kind of impression he must have made on these children, the mysterious cultivator who saved them and found the place they were looking for. A savior, but also someone who knows what it is to have your life uprooted and turned inside out. They see in him a kindred spirit and a great cultivator, someone who clearly loved them even though they only knew him for a day. It's such a rare combination, they would be fools to let it go to join a clan like, say, Baling Ouyang.

Wei Ying is very quiet through all of this and Lan Wangji worries. What if he doesn't want the responsibility that comes with these children, with A-Yue? And they still haven't talked about exactly where they stand, both with each other and with the idea of becoming a family this soon. It's not the same as it was with A-Yuan, where necessity was driving most of the decisions - both times. Here, today, they have all the options, and making a choice, together, to be more than just the two of them, it means a lot. Lan Wangji doesn't even really have to think about it. If Wei Ying wants a family, wants children, today, tomorrow, at any time, Lan Wangji will happily, gratefully go along with it.

Wen Qing nods, a smile curling at the corner of her mouth. She always looks like she knows something no one else does. "Sanren Ying has the means to contact Grandmaster Baoshan once and no more than that. Be sure of your decision. I will take my leave, but if you can point me in the direction my brother may be found, I would be in your debt." She bows again, her words final and unwavering.

+

At the back of his mind, Wei Wuxian thinks: there is space enough behind the room of silence to expand it to a real house. Room enough for children and a kitchen of their own. Room enough for family if they want it. They can keep Little Apple in the backyard, have a stall for the rabbits there when they are tired of roaming the mountain. Fei can sleep on the deck in the summer, curl at their feet in the winter. It's a beautiful fancy, a dream that tears his heart to pieces with how much he wants it.

They've sent Wen Qing off with a hug, a pack of good rations and the general direction A-Yuan and Wen Ning went off to on their journey. Wen Qing isn't in any hurry to find them though, and Wei Wuxian recognizes the wanderlust in her eyes. She wants to see the world, touch and feel and experience what she missed while she was dead. It's a drive he understands deeply, but no longer shares. He's found himself, found what he has been looking for, and now he wants to share it with the one person that means the world to him.

Lan Zhan looks inscrutable as he watches her go. His face doesn't give anything away. Wei Wuxian wants nothing more than to crack open his armor and find out what he's hiding inside.

Jiang Cheng, who had offered to accompany Wen Qing, looks dejected at her gentle but insistent rejection. "She's just never going to feel that way about me, is she?" His question isn't directed at anyone specific and it doesn't sound much like a question at all.

Wei Wuxian smiles and drapes an arm around Jiang Cheng's shoulders. "Sometimes, little brother, we can't see what's right in front of our faces when it comes to love."

He has no idea why everyone is staring at him in gobsmacked silence, except for Nie Huaisang, who is hiding a smirk behind his fan. Even Lan Zhan has that look he sometimes gives him, as if Wei Wuxian is missing a few marbles from a full set.

"What?"

Jiang Cheng sighs and tries to wriggle out of his grasp. "You're so fucking stupid, Wei Wuxian."

Wei Wuxian is mortally offended by how many of his friends and even Lan Xichen, who still hides himself a little to the side of everyone else, agree emphatically with this statement. He turns to Lan Zhan and puts on his best hurt face. "You, too? And here I would have thought that you loved me for all of my qualities, not just my pretty face."

Lan Zhan looks away, his ears dusted with soft pink that Wei Wuxian wants to bite. "I do love you," Lan Zhan says, and then he turns his blazing eyes on Wei Wuxian and there is utter mischief there. Wei Wuxian is dead. This is how he dies. "But you can be a bit dense sometimes."

Wei Wuxian puts his hand on his heart, pretending to have been struck be an arrow. "Oh, oh no. You have murdered me! How will I ever recover?" And then he decides to throw all caution and propriety to the wind and launches himself at Lan Zhan, looping his arms around his neck and leaning in close. "You must make it up to me, my Lan Zhan."

Lan Zhan, who is the bravest man Wei Wuxian knows, is daring beyond belief. He smiles and leans close to kiss Wei Wuxian on the lips, their friends all gawping like fish caught on land. Wei Wuxian is delighted and also deeply distracted. Propriety who? The kiss is a soft, gentle thing, nothing that would cause alarm or outrage except for who is doing it. Wei Wuxian deepens the kiss just so, pulling Lan Zhan close from chest to hip and squirming in his arms for a little bit of friction. He bites at Lan Zhan's lower lip and puts his mouth to Lan Zhan's ear. "I did not think you were this shameless, my love."

Wei Wuxian is deeply amused by the possessive growling noise that Lan Zhan makes. He's heard it before but it never fails to surprise him. There is a beast leashed tightly underneath Lan Zhan's beautiful pristine exterior and it belongs to Wei Wuxian. "There is no place for shame between us." God. Why does he always have to be sincere? Every word he says goes straight to Wei Wuxian's heart.

"There's no space for anything between us right now, actually."

Jiang Cheng, apparently tired of watching his brother make out, pulls them apart. "Please, for the sake of all our sanity, do not make us watch this."

Nie Huaisang pipes up. "Hey, speak for yourself, it was just getting good."

Lan Xichen has his face turned away and does not comment.

He and Lan Zhan discuss some of the finer detail of the day's events at the dinner table after everyone's eaten and Wei Wuxian finds himself embroiled in a discussion of sword spirits and their idiosyncrasies with Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang. They're loud and boisterous, distracting the Lan disciples who try, despite the unusual chatter of the conference attendees, to be good little Lans and eat their dinner in silence. Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen have drafted Jin Ling into their babysitter's club, currently taking care of A-Yue as well as Bobo, with A-Ying looking on skeptically. She's only a few years younger than Jin Ling and has a very low opinion of the emotional maturity of boys in her age group. It's stupidly adorable and probably going to be a hotbed of mischievous activity for the foreseeable future. With Lan Sizhui missing from the group, there is no one at all who will try to be a responsible adult.

Wei Wuxian is so proud.

He pokes Lan Zhan in the side with his elbow. "Look, aren't they all adorable?"

Lan Zhan only hums softly and doesn't even look at them. He's looking at Wei Wuxian like he's the most precious thing in the world and it makes everything else a little less important. Wei Wuxian wants to take his hand and just run away with him, but they can't. There's too much to take care of, too much to do, and it's all good. They have time. Wei Wuxian takes his hand anyway and smiles to himself. He laces their fingers together and ducks his head, certain that his blush is going to give him away to the world. The love that spills out of his heart is so big and so silly and so beautiful, he doesn't care to contain it. Not ever. If that makes him shameless, then let him be shameless.

Lan Zhan doesn't comment or scold him at all, he simply squeezes his hand and presses a kiss to Wei Wuxian's temple. Somewhere in this room, Lan Qiren is probably having an attack of some sort, seeing his nephew like this. Good.

Wie Wuxian hasn't been this happy in his entire life, in either of them, and he's going to take it.

+

Days pass like this:

The conference slowly comes around to a more generous interpretation of the duty of cultivation and even clan leader Yao begins to warm up to the idea of free cities and a community militia. Those people without any cultivation talent no longer have to be servants of a higher power if they don't wish it, but can carve their own destiny. One of the mercs proves to be an able negotiator and a better man than his previous occupation suggests. Chuanwu will be the test of their new world order, protected by the goodwill of the leaders of all the remaining major clans, though Yunmeng in particular is going to be its sponsor. It's a hard won victory, especially for Ouyang Zizhen, who finds himself thrust into responsibility well before he actually wants it. Jin Ling pats him on the shoulder, assuring him that it could be worse.

A-Yue is too young to join any of the lessons, but Bobo and A-Ying find their place among the disciples quickly. At night, however, they all pile into the room of silence like chickens coming home to roost. Wei Ying doesn't seem to mind, but Lan Wangji can tell that he's restless and wishes for them to have time just for themselves, only the two of them. He makes plans to grant that wish as soon as he can.

In the morning of the fourth day after the attack, Lan Wangji wakes to a bed full of children but no Wei Ying. He's not scared, but it does make him wonder. Wei Ying never gets up early, he loves to lie back in the sheets and watch the world unfold before him. A-Ying tends to throw things at him because she finds his indulgence unfair when people like her and Bobo have to get up at the ass-crack of dawn . Her words. Wei Ying always laughs about this and aims the projectiles back, carefully avoiding anyone who might actually get hurt.

Lan Wangji loves him. He often still can't believe that he is lucky enough to have him now.

The paper man sits on the table closest to the bed. It waves jauntily at Lan Wangji. "Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji asks. "What are you doing? Where are you?"

The conference is over and I've asked Lan Jingyi and the others to take care of the kids today. Lan Xichen is holding your lectures. Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang are making sure the conference attendees leave in an orderly fashion. You have the day off and absolutely nothing to do on pain of death. Come and find me.

Lan Wangji does not rush to get dressed, cramming stale bread into his mouth as he hurries out the door. That would be entirely undignified and unbefitting of his stature. He almost runs into Lan Jingyi on the way and tries not to blush at the cheeky thumbs up he receives. Everyone knows what Wei Ying has planned and the awareness of it makes Lan Wangji's stomach squirm in a way he has no time to really examine. The thought of everyone knowing is heady and powerful. Lan Wangji wants the whole world to know that his heart belongs to this gorgeous, ridiculous man.

Finding Wei Ying is not as easy as Lan Wangji would like and all the paper man has to say when Lan Wangji fails to discover him with the rabbits or in the cold springs is-

Ah! Keep trying, my Lan Zhan, you will get there eventually. Or. Cold, so so cold. No, even colder. Okay, yes, that way is a little warm. Oh. Oh no, cold again. Like they're playing a children's game.

"This is not a game, Wei Ying," he says, frustrated and amused in equal measure.

It is today.

Lan Wangji is making all sorts of plans of what to do to Wei Ying when he finds him. All of them include kissing and exclude clothing, which makes him hope that Wei Ying was sensible enough to hide out somewhere warm. The air is chilly enough to make his breath fog in front of his face. He races to all the places he can think of: the library, the courtyard, the southern entrance. Wei Ying is nowhere to be found, except he is also always right there, sitting on his shoulder like a guardian spirit.

When Lan Wangji hears the music, he finally knows where he has to go. It should have been obvious, because this is a place for endings and should be a place for beginnings, too. He climbs the mountain, following the notes of the song he wrote for Wei Ying when he was too young to speak of his feelings any other way. They're older now and Lan Wangji has waited long enough. No more. It is time to claim what they both want, what he has yearned for from the moment Wei Ying burst into his life.

Wei Ying stands atop a cliff, dressed in all black, Little Apple by his side. It is so reminiscent of the day he left that Lan Wangji can't help the fear that curls around his spine. He walks toward him slowly, listening to the song, knowing that it will end soon and whatever comes next will begin.

"Wei Ying," he says, wearing his heart on his sleeve and all his hopes on his face for Wei Ying to see.

+

There is barely a moment between the last note fading from his lips and Lan Zhan speaking his name. It is a question and an answer, all of the things they are wrapped into the sound of Wei Wuxian's name. Only Lan Zhan ever says it like this, like it is something precious and utterly known. Wei Ying.

He's tense. He is afraid. Behind him is the light of his life, the one thing in the world that is more important than anything else, the one person he wants to know all the worst and darkest parts of him. Lan Zhan can see into his soul and find nothing but beauty there and that is terrifying and unbelievably good. He turns and what he finds is a man who looks to be slightly out of breath, his forehead ribbon askew, and a tiny, wobbly smile on his face. Lan Zhan stands rooted to the spot.

Wei Ying smiles at him. The smile feels like his whole face is bursting with the light of the sun. Like he's cracking open and all his fears are fading away. "Lan Zhan."

Lan Zhan moves closer, one step, then the next, almost running by the time he reaches Wei Wuxian. He's crashing into him, pulling him into a desperate embrace. "Wei Ying. Never leave."

Wei Wuxian buries his face in Lan Zhan's hair and breathes deeply, luxuriating in the smell of sandalwood and home. "Never. I'm here. I'm here."

They stand like this for long, impossible moments, just the two of them. As Wei Wuxian slowly pulls away, he feels the nerves return in his shaky breath. He looks deeply into Lan Zhan's eyes and finds enough courage there to continue. "Lan Zhan. My Lan Zhan. I want to be by your side, I want to make you so happy." His hand is shaking as he slowly touches the headband, making sure that Lan Zhan has every chance to pull away. Lan Zhan leans into the touch, eyes hooded but still focused on Wei Wuxian. "I want to make you happy for the rest of our lives together." His mouth is as dry as the desert. "I would be your husband, if you will have me."

Lan Zhan's eyes widen. It looks like he's stopped breathing and Wei Wuxian is worried for all of the handful of seconds it takes for Lan Zhan's brain to start working again. Lan Zhan growls and attacks his mouth with a fervor that makes Wei Ying's whole body tingle and heat pool in his stomach. "Husband," Lan Zhan presses into his skin. "Husband," he says as he bites Wei Wuxian's ear and trails kisses down his throat.

Wei Wuxian laughs and bites his lips and groans with pleasure. "Is that a yes?"

Lan Zhan looks at him with that expression of indignant disbelief. Wei Wuxian loves it so much. "Yes," Lan Zhan says, like Wei Wuxian is the most ignorant man he has ever seen. Like whole epic poems could be written about the unbelievable stupidity of one Wei Wuxian. "Yes, today and every day. Yes, until the end of time."

Wei Wuxian has to shut him up or the sincerity is going to kill him, so he surges forward and kisses Lan Zhan like his life depends on it. "Always, always." He looks around and is suddenly deeply glad that he had the foresight to take the blanket out of Little Apple's saddle bag before starting his song. He pulls Lan Zhan to the blanket and shoos Little Apple away by throwing an apple as far from them as he can. Her delicate eyes and ears do not have to be here for this. He intends to do things that would scandalize even a donkey.

"Lan Zhan," he says, between deep, thorough kisses. "Lan Zhan, let's get a little more comfortable."

He pulls Lan Zhan down, lying back on the blankets and looking at what he has wrought. Lan Zhan has a wondrous look on his face, lips swollen and wet, eyes wide, hair undone in an artfully tussled way. He's so beautiful, Wei Wuxian could cry. Lan Zhan kisses him again, taking the initiative now that they're on the ground, taking Wei Wuxian's hands, holding them above his head, their fingers laced.

"Mine," Lan Zhan says as he kisses Wei Wuxian's throat. "All mine." It is possessive but not without wonder.

"Yes," Wei Wuxian says, "all yours." His hips buck up, pleasure running like lightning through his core. If he still had a golden core, he imagines this would fill it to bursting. Lan Zhan's mouth on his, their hips rocking together, both of them hard and wanting. This is cultivation between two equals, this is what all those stories are about.

Lan Zhan takes both Wei Wuxian's hands into one of his and trails the other down his chest, further down, undoing his belt. They look at each other as Lan Zhan's hand hovers over his belt. Wei Wuxian presses upward, nodding enthusiastically. Yes. Yes. Always yes.

Lan Zhan's hand lays him bare. Wei Wuxian is on fire, the cool air doing very little to douse his ardor. His heart beats as fast as a rabbit's, thumping against his ribs. He is dizzy with desire, unable to voice more than a groan or a whimper, as Lan Zhan's fingers close around the length of him. He startles at the first contact of cold fingers but friction soon heats them both. Lan Zhan works him expertly, just how Wei Wuxian likes it.

"Mhm," he says, bucking into the touch. "You're so good at that."

Lan Zhan leans down, never stopping his rhythm. "I thought of you, when I did this. Thought about what you would like." He captures Wei Wuxian's mouth in a kiss. They're both panting, rocking against each other.

Wei Wuxian closes his eyes as the pleasure becomes too much and every muscles in his body tenses. Release is so close he can taste it, right there on the tip of Lan Zhan's tongue. "Ahh, Lan Zhan, please. Just. Please. Keep Going."

Lan Zhan speeds up his strokes, pushing his own need into Wei Wuxian's hip. It's hot and insistent and the thought of where it might go makes Wei Wuxian insane with need. He wants that. God, he wants it so much.

He tries to tug his arms free, but Lan Zhan's grip is tight. The little frisson of tension sets all of his nerves ablaze. He's sure that Lan Zhan would let go as soon as he asks, but something in the way it makes him feel to be held like this, the way his toes curl and the molten heat in his stomach clenches when he thinks of it, makes him push up, rocking into the movement of Lan Zhan's hand.

He's falling, hurtling through the air like an arrow, exploding on impact into a hundred, a thousand satisfied pieces.

Wei Wuxian tries to catch his breath. He's grinning so hard his cheeks are burning with the effort.

He frees his hands, Lan Zhan too stunned to keep him down. He reaches up and touches Lan Zhan's face, stroking his cheek. Lan Zhan is still hard against him. Wei Wuxian licks his lips. He wants everything, in every possible way, and he does know that they're both so very new at any of this. It's reckless to push Lan Zhan on his back and use his own fluids to slick them both up. Wei Wuxian is nothing if not resourceful and he has read a lot of the material Nie Huaisang smuggled into Cloud Recesses in their teens.

Lan Zhan is arching underneath him, hands on Wei Wuxian's hips. "Are you sure?"

Wei Wuxian grins and dips down to kiss Lan Zhan. Their teeth are clacking together and it's all messy and would probably be awkward if not for the fact that it's also insanely hot. "I've never been more sure about anything in my life," Wei Wuxian says and reaches back to guide Lan Zhan inside him.

There's some pain, a dull fullness that feels strange and new. It lasts until they're both moving, rocking together in a rhythm that feels like the beat of a single heart. Wei Wuxian arches his back, pushing himself down again and again. He's probably not going to get to completion again, but every time Lan Zhan pushes into him, stars explode behind his eyes and his entire body sparks with pleasure.

"Mhm, yes, more of that."

They go like this until Lan Zhan turns them around to drive himself even deeper, a few hard strokes that nearly make Wei Wuxian black out and then they're both kissing desperately, almost painfully, as Lan Zhan spills inside him.

+

Lan Wangji cleans them both and wraps Wei Ying in his clothes, getting the small basket of food still attached to Little Apple's saddle. There are fruits and a bottle of Emperor's Smile and fresh bread. It smells fantastic, Lan Zhan has never been this hungry before in his life. He's never been this relaxed before, either. The weight of fear and uncertainty has been lifted from his shoulders.

When he lays out the food, Wei Ying crawls half into his lap and licks at his mouth like all of Lan Zhan belongs to him now, which it does. Lan Wangji is happy to be Wei Ying's.

He breaks off a piece of bread and feeds it to Wei Ying, who licks at his fingers as they offer the morsel. Lan Zhan wants to take him again, but restrains himself. They have all day, it's not even noon.

"You planned this well," he says idly, stroking Wei Ying's hair. "I had no idea."

Wei Ying catches his hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing the knuckles. "You weren't supposed to. It was a surprise and I wanted to make it something we would both want to remember." He smiles up at Lan Wangji and settles their joined hands on his stomach. "And I wasn't sure I would be brave enough to go through with it pretty much until I woke up this morning."

"Ridiculous," Lan Wangji says. "You're the bravest person I know."

Wei Ying rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, you would think that, because you like me."

"Hm," Lan Wangji says, because something so silly doesn't deserve a real answer. Wei Ying is the home he didn't know he needed, didn't know he was missing. He leans down to steal a small kiss and is rewarded with a brilliant smile.

"You keep that up, we're going to waste all this awesome food." Wei Ying uses his free hand to blindly grasp at the spread of fruit. His fingers find and dismiss the alcohol until they close around an apple. "Ah, perfect," he says and takes a big bite out of the apple and offers it up for Lan Wangji.

They share the fruit between them and kiss a little more, unhurried and completely at peace. Under his hand, Lan Wangji can feel Wei Ying's heart beat a gentle, steady rhythm. The chill air is welcome after their exertions and Lan Wangji's happiness is an ocean, wide and deep and unending.

Wei Ying smiles brightly. "You know, it's only a matter of time until someone comes to find us again. There's no way they're letting us have a whole day to ourselves."

Lan Wangji returns the smile. "Let them come. We have all the time in the world."