Chapter Text
Mutation Monster thought they would have A BLESSED DAY after everything they’ve been through. God no. They’re having another DAMNED DAY.
They spent hours getting all the blood and gore off their body and even longer getting it out of their clothes. About three days on the latter, which meant walking around the Old Town butt ass naked for longer than they’d prefer. The townsfolk were not happy about this so the monster was run out the second their clothes were back on.
The Mutation Monster continued onward, going on a long pilgrimage to any form of society deemed good enough in their eyes. This led them to think a lot about their life so far. From watching their brother get slimed out by the green ninja to those weird, ugly ass snakes they killed. Sources, am I racist? They think.
They find a rock in the desert they walk through. Earth. Like Earth Monster. Since their brother was murdered in enemy territory, Mutation Monster didn’t get to do anything close to a memorial or even bury the body. So they do the small gesture of burying the rock.
Mutation Monster: Rest in peace, brother. I hope to find my other sibling soon.
After a moment of silence, Mutation Monster leaves for the giant city in the distance. This will do.
No. No the fuck it won’t.
This city was Imperium: the home of the Loyalists aka the people who unfortunately brought them into this god forsaken world. Fuck.
This is especially a bad time as the remaining ninja that he didn’t brutally murder are fighting the loyalists. And the green guy turned into a dragon or something. FUCK.
Lloyd: NINJA GO!
The orange, black, red, white, blue and other blue ninja and the random wind girl rush into battle against the loyalists and… Acid Monster!
Mutation Monster: BROTHER!
Acid Monster: Mutation! How are you?
Mutation Monster: I have had A DAMNED WEEK. How are you, though?
Acid Monster: Was forced to fight some more of these freaks. There are WAY too many of them.
Mutation Monster: Tell me about it. Say, why don’t we just leave? Let’s go live our lives instead of ending up like Earth Monster.
Acid Monster is then sliced in half by the green dragon ninja guy’s new claws. Bright green blood goes everywhere, including on Mutation Monster. They look in horror at their fallen brother.
Lloyd: You again!
Mutation Monster: YOU!
Mutation Monster leaps forward, grabbing Lloyd by the wings and tearing them from his body. The monster very quickly becomes the center of attention as all of the ninja surround them.
Mutation Monster: I’ll deal with you all later.
The monster pushes the ninja away before turning their focus to the Loyalist Leader. She has some staff of unknown name or importance. To find out what this staff is and the 5 oc’s that go along with it, ask Doc Wyatt on Bluesky! Sorry to the target audience of the show, you’re not old enough to go on Bluesky! We hate all of you!
Mutation Monster approaches the Loyalist Leader, who is using the Unknown Staff of Unknown Importance to open up a portal. They overhear something about an Empress Beatrix. They do NOT give a fuck.
Loyalist Leader: Oh, you! Stop standing around and kill those damn ninja! The Empress won’t be impressed with this performance.
Mutation Monster: I’m not here to serve you. I’m here to sue you!
Loyalist Leader: Huh?
NINJAGO: LAW AND ORDER
Judge: Alright, Mutation Monster. For the record, please state your reason for suing the loyalists and the ninja?
Mutation Monster: Well, these two groups have collectively ruined my life. I’m also technically an infant by the way. This loyalist leader brought me into this damn world and then forced me to fight these ninjas. They murder my brother in front of me and then assault me for no reason!
The audience seems displeased with that.
Lloyd: You were working with Larow to do… something!
Mutation Monster: He doesn’t even know what! How can you trust him? Anyway, I was then forced to listen to their friend’s drama and annoying Imperium shill voice before being forced to murder them all. I lost my clothes, I was run out of towns, life’s been rough. Then they killed my other brother!
Arin: Imperium shilling? Were you the one who killed Frak, Sora, Wyldfyre and Riyu?
Mutation Monster: Those may have been their names.
Arin: Your Honour, this monster has just confessed to quadruple murder! They should be the one on trial, not us?
Zane: According to my calculations, murdering serpentine is not illegal and in fact encouraged, as per Crystalized Lloyd’s Law.
Lloyd: God fucking dammit.
Judge: This is a good point. I suppose this can be a mutual trial between the two. Try to convince me which one of you deserves to be punished. Or I’ll just throw you all in jail.
Mutation Monster: I think it’s quite clear. They assaulted my ears. And killed my brothers!
Arin: We only killed two “people”. You killed three!
Mutation Monster: Dragons aren’t people!
Sora’s soul possesses Arin for a brief moment.
Arin: Neither are you!
Mutation Monster: Fucking what. Your Honor, this is a racially motivated attack.
Dr Larow: Where the fuck is our lawyer?
Lloyd: Shit. Dareth said traffic was especially bad this time of day. Merged Lands, am I right?
Dr Larow: This is why I should’ve picked our lawyer. This would have never happened had I selected an Imperian.
Lloyd: Wow, you sound a lot like Sora. Are all of you people like this?
Larow nods.
Judge: Anyway! May we return to the trial?
Mutation Monster: Please. These people have gone out of their way to destroy every aspect of my life before it could begin. They are not heroes.
Dr Larow: Never claimed to be one.
Mutation Monster: The ninja are not heroes. They are frauds. You know what I overheard the green one talking about before he attacked me? He was defending that senile old man for causing the merge! You know how many people died in the merge? 7 billion! He said that was probably for good reason! He’s also currently dating a terrorist! How can people look up to these frauds?
Lloyd: Your Honor, I state it’s okay she’s with us.
Judge: Convincing. I hereby sentence Mutation Monster to watching Dragons Rising Season 3.
Mutation Monster: WHAT?!
Arin: Woah! That’s worse than execution!
???: Objection!
A new player enters the court. Lord Ras, wielding two dragon icons.
Lloyd: No Way!
Nya: Awooga!
Arin: Shit! He has two icons!
Ras: Two?
Ras reaches behind, pulling a third icon from his ass. Specifically the one given to Lloyd by Motion in DRS2.
Arin: Please stop shoving blades up your ass, master!
Lloyd: Yeah, you have no idea where that one’s been!
Arin: Huh? Anyway, what are you doing here?
Ras: One, to reclaim my best student. Two, to recruit another student. Mutation Monster.
Mutation Monster: Really? I would be honoured.
Ras: You actually killed Sora and dealt with my worst student. I respect you for that. You have proven yourself. Join me and we can reverse the merge, reverse the deaths of your brothers. I alone can save them.
Mutation Monster: Sounds good.
Lloyd: No way, Lord Ras! We’re gonna stop you, because that’s what ninja do! You, your students, your master… whoever that is.
Ras: Zarkar is my master.
Lloyd: What the fuck-
Lloyd, Zane, Kai, Nya, Jay, Cole and Larow are all killed by Ras, Arin and Mutation Monster. They crafted the rest of the dragon icons, bringing Zarkar (who is half source dragon) back from the dead. He then kills the source dragons and reverses the merge.
Ras, Arin, Mutation Monster, Earth Monster, Acid Monster, Cinder, Jordana and Tormak stand proudly in the shadow dojo, watching before their many tiger students. Mutation Monster is home, with their family. Finally at peace.
The. Goddamn. End.