Chapter Text
It had been a week since Erika’s haircut and four days since he had Emma look it over and then make some small little adjustments to it. The novelty hadn’t worn off yet and Erika wasn’t sure it ever would. It was something that had been a long time coming, after all. And there were still so many things he could try with it, different styles, cuts, lengths. No, this would keep him happy for years to come, he was certain.
But, nevertheless, that week had given him time to think, mostly while running his hand over his hair, feeling the short strands brushing his fingers. There were some conclusions he had come to and, while terrified about how Charles would take them, it felt like there was only one thing to do from there. He had to tell the man, even if Charles left and Erika was left alone. It was only fair to him to be himself, right? That was what he kept telling himself anyway. It was either that or keep living in denial and he refused to repress something this big any longer. Especially now that he had opened that can of worms and had come to conclusions about it.
“Charles?” He asked, walking into the kitchen where Charles was sitting at the table, his laptop open in front of him, grading papers. Erika never liked to interrupt him while he was working but this was another thing he would lose his nerve if he didn’t get started with soon.
“Yes, dear?” Charles asked, not pulling his eyes from the screen, seemingly deep in his work but Erika wasn’t going to let that deter him.
“You know how you’re bisexual?” He asked, then cringed, maybe not the best way to go into this, nevertheless, it seemed to be the way he was going. There was no turning back now.
“I’m familiar with that fact, yes,” Charles said, finally looking at her instead of his laptop, something that appeared to be a concerned look on his face. “What’s going on?”
“You remember when you called me handsome the other day?” He asked next and this time a look of understanding crossed Charles’s face and he nodded slowly. Erika figured he could stop there but knew it was best to say the words. He had to face them at some point, after all. “Well, I think…I might not be a girl.” Tears were burning, threatening to fall but that wasn’t an option he had. He refused to let it be one.
“Are you okay with that?” Charles asked and the question felt out of place, a little wrong. It wasn’t anything like Erika was expecting to hear.
A huff of humorless laughter left him, “I am. Are you?” That was what he was really afraid of, after all. Sure Charles might be bi, but that wasn’t to say he would be attracted to Erika as a boy. He signed up to be in a relationship with a girl, not a guy. When Erika asked him to marry him, Charles had said yes to her, but not to him.
“Am I okay with having a fiancé instead of a fiancee? Yeah. The same as I’m okay with having a husband instead of a wife. As long as it’s you, love, and you’re happy, I don’t mind. I’m going to love you anyway.” Charles got a smile and nod for his troubles but both came through the tears that had won the battle and began to fall down his face.
“Come here,” Charles said, his voice quiet, the way it always was on the rare occasion Erika cried. He rolled back from the table, just enough room for his partner to slip into his lap. “I have some questions though,” Charles admitted, “Do you think you’re trans? Nonbinary? Do you know?” He asked softly, his hand rubbing up and down Erika’s back in a soothing manner.
“I…think I’m trans. The hair was a starting point, I think. I’ve wanted it for so long but it just feels…right. And then you calling me handsome, I don’t think I’ve ever been that happy, I don’t know how to explain that feeling, I don’t have the words for it. And people have started calling me sir and he and him and every time it’s like I just start smiling and want to start skipping or some nonsense. I want that to be it though. I never liked being referred to as a girl or daughter or ma’am. If someone ever calls me ma’am again I might actually commit murder.” He wasn’t even joking about that part. It was his last favorite thing, the word itself made his skin crawl. It always had.
Charles smiled a little and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Okay, I’ll make sure to stay away from that one,” He replied, “I guess that covers pronouns too. What about names?”
“Erik,” He stated, “I think it would be the easiest to do and it fits me I think. Just drop the a. I don’t want to completely get rid of the name Mama gave me.”
“Alright, Erik,” Charles replied and squeezed his arms tighter around his partner, smiling.
“Why are you so happy?” Erik asked, looking at the other man who just smiled and shrugged.
“Because you are and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you like this, so yourself. And I’m thinking about introducing you as my husband Erik now and I think I rather like the sound of that. We really need to start planning that wedding.”
“We do,” Erik agreed, “One trip to the courthouse for a name change instead of two. Double up and save.”
Charles laughed, “Yeah, that’s a good point. Have you made any other decisions about this stuff? Or thought about it?”
Erik shrugged, “I’ve been thinking about looking for a therapist but the idea is a little overwhelming still. I don’t know where to begin but I definitely want to start trying to be more myself. I don’t like hesitating because I think someone else isn’t going to approve. I think I’ve had enough of that already. It’s been long enough.”
“I agree, love,” Charles replied, “And, you know, I know a few therapists. I’m not saying you have to go to any of them, but I’m sure they can point you to some people, and give you some options on who you could talk to. The ones that would be the best fit for you.”
Erik hummed in response, “Tomorrow,” He decided, “For now, let’s go to bed?”
“I think I may be able to pencil you into my very busy schedule,” Charles replied, nodding, making Erik roll his eyes but curl up again Charles’s chest a little more as the man started to move away from the table and down the hall to their room.